Take a step now.

Grateful thanks, Q.

Lying awake, fretting about the world, is I thing I do not like to do. And since the election, I have literally been drugging myself. The sertraline has its own soporific effects. occasionally I take melatonin. During the lockdown I took melatonin a lot, way too much. Even now if I have it more than one night in a row it makes the mornings very challenging.

Then there's the cannabis. There's this hybrid I picked up in Maine that just knocks me out. But that's the thing, it just knocks me out. I can watch a movie or read, I just want to go to sleep. There are other strains for that kind of activity, and I sleep well then, too.

But. Can I just sleep? Like, just have normal uninduced rest? And if so, when?

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 28:57
Pace: 9:20

I actually wrote that a few days ago, and have experimented with uninduced sleep the past two nights, and they have been successful. I just rest. Long days, active days, followed by rest. Avoiding the socials has been a great help. Breaking bad habits. I don't feel I am missing anything.

Quincy Jones Playlist

Soul Bossa Nova (156 BPM)

Love Is in Control (Finger on the Trigger) - Donna Summer

Theme from "Sanford & Son"

Come Together - Brothers Johnson

Billie Jean - Michael Jackson

I Can't Help It - Michael Jackson

I'll Be Good to You - Ray Charles & Chaka Khan

Give Me the Night - George Benson

Thanks, Mr. Jones! That was a brisk and joy filled run.

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 51°
Climate: nice & cool
Mood: good
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Pain Reliever: TBD

For the record, I am holding fast at 170 lbs. I am not trying to "diet" I am simply being mindful, as they say. Recording the intake in Noom. Learning about the calories, the good, the bad, and the empty.  

Where have all the good times gone?

Reading "Two Shakes" by Luke Brett
with the playwright at Goldhorn Brewery

We have been avoiding social media. This is part of a trend that began when I lost interest in blogging. 

Slight tangent: This is not a blog. This is a health record. For a short time, it was a promotional device for a play about running, but in main, it is a record. I discovered that keeping track of how many times I run reminds me to run. If I didn't keep track of my runs, I could easily just stop doing it, for weeks or even months. Instead, I have this reminder -- oh, you haven't run in a week? You better get on that.

How many runs did I take in 1993? I have no idea. Maybe ten? Or twenty? How many runs did I take in 1994? A lot, for a brief moment, and then not at all. I have no idea. Do you see? I have no idea.

So. Social media. Every time I visit, something angers me. Or makes me depressed. I resolved to stop. I didn't announce it to the world, it's so dumb when people do that. I just ghosted. And not entirely, I will post things, but I will not look at others' posts. I find myself opening the app, like a tic, then remember my resolved, close it before anything pops up, and put my phone in my pocket.

Is this easy? It is not. But it is necessary.

Distance: 1 mile

Duration: 8:43

Route: Neighborhood Loop
Temperature: 51°
Climate: overcast & cool
Mood: driven
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Pain Reliever: TBD

What's That Lyric?

Where Have All the Good Times Gone - Van Halen

But I know which way I'd run to if the choice was mine.

Zoom has me counting steps. For years I have watched one of my colleagues take time to walk in place, during meetings, breaks, whenever. 

If an average goal is 10,000 steps a day (so they say) well, any day I take a run I kill half that. However, what about days I do not run? Then it is closer to 4,000. So, I will take the stairs. It makes a difference!

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 29:09
Pace: 9:24

And yet, 10,000 steps is a lot! I would need to take a walk around the block in addition to a morning run. A couple of walks around the block.

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 49°
Climate: cloudy & misty
Mood: all right
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Pain Reliever: TBD

The US LP release of the album Café Bleu. This is my wife's version, the LP she had and that we listened to a number of times on my solo visits to NYC in late 1994. I most strongly remember it from my second visit, which was in October. It was fall in New York and she showed me her part of the city and we held hands in the crisp and lovely autumn air.

So, this album, this version, takes me back to both the mid 90s as well as the mid 80s, when the eponymous single had airplay (or at least show play on MTV) and also the general mood of sophisticated pop.

We thought our lives were complicated. We had no idea.

Blitz: Now in theaters.

My Ever Changing Moods - The Style Council (1984)

My Ever Changing Moods (12" Version)

The Whole Point of No Return

Blue Café *
The Paris Match (ft. Tracey Thorn)
Dropping Bombs on the Whitehouse

A Solid Bond in Your Heart
You're the Best Thing +
A Gospel *
Strength of Your Nature *

Here's One That Got Away

Headstart for Happiness +

Mick's Blessings *

Usually, when I post an album for running I just don't include the songs the songs I skipped or those I didn't get to. With this album I feel the need to explain myself.

*Blue Café is too slow for running, and an instrumental. The other two have always stood out to me because they don't match the mood of the rest of the album. I love those songs, but I wanted to keep the autumnal vibe today. Most days, really.

Mick's Blessing was cut for time.

You're running out of sight.

My heart.

Part of survival is focus. Last Wednesday was remarkable, not wonderful, but successful. Yes, I ran almost seven miles. That was a surprise, I wasn't sure if I would muster four. The only reason I went as far as I did was that I had gone three miles without realizing it.

I took naps, I went grocery shopping, I watched our elder child create art, I made hearty, health-reviving soup, all while avoid the trauma and chaos of social media. And with some exception I have dedicated myself to this. That's how they get you, you know -- engagement.

I have been writing, submitting scripts, making connections. I have a script to read and rehearse, too. 

And exercise. 

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 29:08
Pace: 9:24

High School Run (1982-1985)

Cover Me - Bruce Springsteen  
Voice Carry - 'Til Tuesday
Jason and the Argonauts - XTC
Better Be Good to Me - Tina Turner
If You Were Here - Thompson Twins
Headstart for Happiness - Style Council
Undercover (Of the Night) - Rolling Stones
One Thing Leads to Another - The Fixx

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 47°
Climate: sunny & cool
Mood: struggling
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Pain Reliever: TBD

You glorify the past when the future dries up.

We are in Athens, MIL is having hip replacement surgery, and we came down last night to assist, to make meals, to care.

What will we do? This is not the country I promised my children. There is nothing to say, white American is stupid and angry. Decades of misinformation and nonsense have led to this moment. The American experiment is holding as it was designed, to protect wealthy white men. And I have lost faith. Change will come, but not in my lifetime. I tried. So many of us tried.

Eight years ago we were shocked, surprised. What does this mean? And we protected each other, knit hats, wore safety pins, met and told stories, signaled virtue, protested in the streets -- even created art. And we hoped that things would change, because we did not know where it was headed.

And it has headed to this? Seriously? You can't blame our candidate. She ran a flawless campaign. But white America is terrified of people of color, of women, of transgender people, and that they may lose their dominance over them. Is this because white people assume if you are in the majority you necessarily must harm the minority? That there will a reckoning? Or is that they never learned to share? Or do they just hate and fear.

People will suffer, they have before and they will again. And people will die. And those of us who do not, who are in positions of education and communication will be instructed in what we can and cannot say.

There will be a reckoning, that is for sure. And it will have been avoidable.

This is the essay I told myself I would not be writing today. Because it isn't very good, or insightful, or helpful. But this is my running blog, where I record my general well-being as well as log my runs, my each and every run, as I maintain my health through my middle years. And for the sake of my mental well-being, I will abstain from social media for the foreseeable future. I can not stand to listen to people I care about wail in the darkness.

Distance: 6.75 miles

Duration: 1:0:58
Pace: 9:37

College Run (1986-1990)

The Only Way Is Up - Yazz

Go Lil Camaro Go - Ramones

Fuck Tha Police - N.W.A.

Talkin' Bout a Revolution - Tracy Chpaman

Summer's Cauldron - XTC

Slow Ride - Beastie Boys

Praying For Time - George Michael

Honey Bee - The Bears

Losing My Mind (Disco Mix) - Pet Shop Boys

Vibrating - Robyn Hitchcock & The Egyptians 

The Passenger - Siouxsie  the Banshees

Can't Hardly Wait - The Replacements

Musique Non Stop - Kraftwerk

I Still Believe - Tim Cappello

Desire - U2

Hippychick - Soho

Crucial Bar-B-Q - Murphy's Law

Route: Hocking River Bike Path
Temperature: 72°
Climate: overcast & authoritarian
Mood: just nauseous
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Pain Reliever: TBD

What's That Lyric?

God Part 2 - U2

(It's not actually on the playlist. I hate this song.)

I'm outside in the dark wondering how I got so old.

What will we do?

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 29:27
Pace: 9:29

Songs Of a Lost World - The Cure (2024)

Alone

A Fragile Thing

Warsong *

Drone:Nodrone

All I Ever Am

Endsong *

How does Robert Smith record an album that sounds exactly like a Cure album like it was 1989 all over again and yet it sounds absolutely contemporary?

I guess they are just timeless.

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 62°
Climate: clear & cool
Mood: "nauseously optimistic"
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Pain Reliever: TBD

The president of paragraph will end it here.

The weather turns back to fall. I feel good, my knees are without pain, my sciatica has faded. Noom is tedious. But it helps, just keeping track.

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 28:51
Pace: 9:18

160-169 BPM Playlist

Freedom of Speak (We Got Three Minutes) - De La Soul

Rocket Ride - Felix Da Housecat

Classical Gas - Mason Williams

Get Outta My Room - The Donnas

Hurt - Nine Inch Nails

I'm Free (Heaven Helps the Man) - Kenny Loggins

Magical Mystery Tour - The Beatles

Ugh! - BTS

La feeme d'argent - Air

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 54°
Climate: sunny & cool
Mood: good
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Pain Reliever: TBD