I know you can’t relax.

Worth it for Dave McKean's opening sequence.

Difficult night, a bit too warm. Not sure if a run is going to be enjoyable this morning (it's already 68° spiking another ten degrees in the next few hours) but if not now, when? It is Monday. It is morning.

Alternatives 0112

Distance: 3.1 miles 

Duration: 30:28
Pace: 9:47

Listening through an ad and then the previously on before running (I like to start when the gates open) queers my time. Should be more like 29 minutes and a much better pace. 

But running through the post-apocalypse listening to the Miracles is pretty epic.

Barack Obama's 2024 Summer Playlist

Why Don't You - Cleo Soul

You've Really Got a Hold On Me - The Miracles

Process - H.E.R.

How Do U Want It - 2Pac ft. K-Ci  JoJo

If You Love Somebody Set Them Free - Sting

Unsuffer Me - Lucinda Williams

Golden - Jill Scott

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 71°
Climate: humid. muggy.
Mood: all right
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Pain Reliever: TBD

Wow, I am more tired today than I have been in some time. Bad night's sleep.

Upper body: 

Core Strength: 

Baseline: 185 lbs.

Weight: 174 lbs. (-0-)

Goal: 170 lbs.

Breakfast: coffee w/cream, fresh fruit w/yogurt & granola

Coffee Break: toasted marshmallow latte

Lunch: turkey & cheese, sand. French fries, Cherry Coke Zero

Snack: Payday Bar

Dinner: mac & cheese, pumpkin ale

Evening: White Russian, ice cream

And if I listen in I hear my own heart beating.

Now that it is cooling down, here are the rules:

1. Stretch longer. Stretch better.

2. Always take a break between days.

3. Run slower. Do not push against fatigue.

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 31:47
Pace:10:15
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 67°
Climate: rainy & cool
Mood: all right
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Weight: 182 lbs. (+0.5)

Goal: 180 lbs.

What is up with these playlists? Karina Longworth produces the amazing You Must Remember This podcast chronicling the "secret and/or forgotten histories of Hollywood's first century." 

Earlier this year she presented a whopping twelve episodes about the manner in which Hollywood both pushed the boundaries of sexual activity on screen while also cleaving closely to heteronormative morality during the 1980s.

She curated this playlist, which is by its very subject matter is exactly the kind of music I prefer to run to, namely upbeat 80s technopop. And it's a long playlist!

Erotic80s Playlist

Strip - Adam Ant

This City Never Sleeps  - Eurythmics

In the Air Tonight - Phil Collins

Never Say Never - Romeo Void

Imagination - Laura Branigan

The Best is Yet to Come - Luba

One Night in Bangkok (slight return) - Murray Head

And we are spent.

Save that breath for choir practice.

Didn't log my intake yesterday because it was all over the place. I mean, I ate a million little things. They were a lot of things, a picnic in the park, a party for a high school graduate. The best thing I can say is that I only consumed one alcohol beverage. But there was dessert and chips and on and on.

Okay? So, one day of overdoing it. We must continue to be vigilant, and cautious.

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 28:53
Pace: 9:19
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 72°
Climate: overcast & breezy
Mood: not great?
Weight: 178 lbs. (-0-)

Tried to jump to 160 - 164 but it was too fast. I need to mix those up a little. Sprints and cooldowns.

Intake
Breakfast: coffee (2x)
Lunch: strawberry/mulberry crisp w/cream

Treat: small piece of carrot cake (because carrots)

Another treat: gummi candies, a lot of them
Dinner: tofu, beans & rice, cucumber ribbon salad, beer (1x)

Homework: Manhattan

Also, fizzy water (2x)

Jesus, a day for sugar. I must resist tomorrow.

155 - 159 bpm Playlist

5 out of 6  - Dessa*

Taking care of business.

Can run? Must run. 

Saw the doctor yesterday and he saw me. It would appear I am in good health. It would also appear, from all the bather I gave him, that I may need to resume talk therapy. Most of my fear of death (as I see it, this is not a diagonsis) is mental not physical. I am not at risk for a heart attack.

Having said that, I need more "good" cholesterol, and less "bad" cholesterol. If I could eat that soup my wife made last night, or the salad the night before, on a more regular basis, I would be in excellent health. She is amazing.

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 31:39
Pace: 10:12
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 73°
Climate: sunny & warm
Mood: determined
Weight: 188 lbs. (-1.5)

We will record our intake. The wife suggests an app she's using to record her intake. Says it gives her a clear picture of her diet. Me, I am concerned that might make me depressed - that it won't matter that I know what is in my diet, I will keep eating it.

I'll post it here. Make it public. Because shame works.

Intake:

Breakfast: coffee w/cream (2x)
Lunch: green soup w/soda bread & butter

Snack: apple, banana

Dinner: Noodle salad w/fried tofu

Also, fizzy water (3x) & one beer

I fasted all day so that I would have clean labs. And it wasn't a problem. I can do that, not eat, when necessary. I don't need to fast, necessarily ... though after the weekend's binge it didn't hurt. 

1974 Playlist

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road - Elton John

TSOP (The Sound of Philadelphia) - MFSB ft. the Three Degrees

Lady Marmalade - LaBelle

Boogie Down - Eddie Kendricks

Waterloo - ABBA

Hooked on a Feeling - Blue Swede

Takin' Care of Business - Bachman-Turner Overdrive

Living For the City - Stevie Wonder

Come and Get Your Love - Redbone

My pace will be slower when I am running every day, and when it is hot. And that's all right. Better to run slower every day than fast once a week.

The playlist makes a difference, too. The 70s can be slower paced. Groovy, but slower paced. As I am creating Sotify playlists, I am choosing not to include some tunes I used to because they just aren't fast enough to inspire.

You had better not go too far.

Running the track at the gym means, of course, hard wood floors. I was feeling this in my back and hiner, in my knees and ankles. And yet, working on machines was very useful.

Keeping up with the regimen was challenging this week. Now there is new-fallen snow on the ground, and a date with Fornadel to run in the park.

Distance: 4.3 miles
Pace: 10:13
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 27°
Climate: cold, but so sunny!
Mood: all right

Keeping your kit organized. The struggle is real. Trying to meet up with Chris, can't find my hat or gloves. Used a cowl and the summer running hat. What a clever monkey I am.

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 176 lbs. (-2.0)
Goal: 175 lbs.

A rather long run, for me, at this time. Met Chris at the park, ran around the park, said our goodbyes and headed home. Having a partner to run with does help push through those moments it occurs to you to stop and walk.

Returning home, my knees are singing. Not my back, just my knees. There is a (maybe) one inch layer o snow on the ground, just enough not to be a nuisance, but enough to make the going slippery, more arduous. Were we going a ten minute mile? Was it because every step we lost a fraction of an inch through sliding? No idea. We have have been helping each other go slower, which is helpful for both of us at this stage.

1978 Playlist
Who Are You - The Who
Shadow Dancing - Andy Gibb
Last Dance - Donna Summer
Crawling to the USA - Elvis Costello & The Attraction
Lip Service - Elvis Costello & The Attractions
Le Freak - Chic
Love The Nightlife (Disco 'Round) - Alicia Bridges

No one loses two pounds after heading to MELT the night before. Doesn't happen, don't believe it.

Also, I totally don't have cancer.

Visit my Team Challenge Crohn's & Colitis page and support my bid for the Chicago Marathon!

Let your spine unwind, just take a risk.

Buckle fracture.

Okay, so. The boy broke his wrist snowboarding.

Four years ago he tore a muscle in his backside while playing soccer, also during the winter. He was sidelined for months, and it was distressing to me, to see him in a wheelchair.

His injury today means no more snowboarding -- ski club starts Tuesday, that's out the window. So, too, wrestling, he hasn't even participated in a meet yet.

Also, his rock set, scheduled for next weekend. God, I think I'm more depressed about that than anyone. I am very glad his injury is minor.

Thursday night, when he was telling me about snowboarding (which he has recently come to love) all I could think about was how horribly he could get hurt.

Well, he's not hurt horribly. But he's done so much great work to prepare for all of these activities, and now he won't get to participate in them, it worries me how this might trouble him.

Breathe, comfort, be there. All may be well.

Distance: 3.15 miles
Pace: 9:19
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 43°
Climate: cool, sundown run
Mood: all right

Breathing easier ... one of my co-workers told me the other day about the difficulties she is having becoming a "runner." She's an award-winning high school athlete, she competed in college. She's a sprinter. Running long distances seems entirely bizarre to her, and trying to run a casual pace has proved challenging. It doesn't make sense.

I have never been a sprinter. But there is a pace I am accustomed to, and going slower is also very difficult to me. I can relate. I was trying very, very hard tonight to take it easy, and I still ended up in a run.

Well, if that's how it goes, what else can I do?

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 178.5 lbs. (+0.5)
Goal: 175 lbs.

1998 Playlist
Body Movin' (Fatboy Slim Remix) - Beastie Boys
Pretty Fly (For a White Guy - The Offspring
Distance - Mors Syphilitica
So Far I Have Not Found the Science - Soul Coughing
Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) - Green Day
Girlfriend - Billie Piper
Right Here, Right Now - Fatboy Slim
Hoodoo Voodoo - Billy Bragg & Wilco

Half Marathon Training Week Nine

Sunset run with Chris. Perfect weather, much more pleasant than running cold in the rain. Since I was not cold, however, I was much more aware of the discomfort. But also, I was hungry, so that was also inconvenient.

Still and all, our pace had improved. So that's a good thing. I think it's going to be warm from here on out.

Distance: 10 miles
Duration: 1:33:48
Pace: 9:11
Route: MLK to Dead Man's Curve & Back
Temperature: 63•
Climate: cool and nice
Pavement: dry
Mood: all right

Stretches: yes

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 163 lbs. (-1.0)
Goal: 160 lbs.

Keeping up.

The boy wanted to take one of those eight mile runs through Uptown, unfortunately that was before I knew bicycles are prohibited in Lake View Cemetery. We could head down Forest Hills Boulevard and through East Cleveland to Uptown, and maybe next time we will.

Distance: 5.15 miles
Avg Pace: 8:30
Duration: 43:49
Route: Boulevard-Noble Loop

Not as hot as last time, but still hot. A lot of gradual inclines and he, himself, took them easily on his bike, keeping my pace much higher than I probably would on my own, in this heat.

Sometimes he will tell me about something he is very interested in, and we will speed up and I will check out as my breathing increases, I have to remember to ask him to slow down a bit so I can breathe and think.

He's much bigger and stronger than when we took these runs together last summer.

Got a kink in my ankle. Ouch.

Temperature: 77°
Climate: bright & hot
Weight: 166 lbs.
Mood: good

After the run, the boy was telling his sister about the route, and about how I let him ride in the side streets, but only if he learned and practiced his hand signals. He's so proud of the things he accomplishes.

We never lost control.

Headaches have returned. I have always had headaches, debilitating headaches. Beginning when I was around 12 and continuing until about ten or so years ago they could become something like migraines, and perhaps that's what they were. They had symptoms in common with migraines, and they could render an entire day useless.

Recently I was sorting through Christmas cards and found some photographs which had been filed away with them, pictures of the children with Christine at the Chicago children's museum.

Attending the perinatal bereavement conference in Chicago in 2006, I successfully performed I Hate This on Friday and woke on Saturday with a full-on headache that became a torrid migraine, complete with the shivers and blinding flashes of painful light. Christine and her sister graciously offered to take the kids for the entire day while Toni attended conference events and I curled up miserable in our hotel room.

It has been some time since I have suffered like that. After numerous consultations and even an MRI of my head, the cause of my pain was inconclusive. I took medication for migraines which were perhaps fifty percent effective. I decided at one point to simply listen to my body, and try to determine the causes of the pain, when it happened, and what may lead up to them.

Alcohol, perhaps. But not always. Dehydration, yes, so I tried drinking water in the middle of the night and that helped, sometimes. Sleeping too warmly was often a factor. I cannot sleep with socks on, that will nearly always give me a headache. Broken sleep was also an issue. Having infant children who needed changing or imply to be lulled back to sleep was, I believe, a major factor in my frequent migraines in the mid-aughts.

Then there was the fact that the pain generally localizes in my sinuses. I began taking pseudoephedrine at the first sign of pain, and that generally works, taken with pain reliever.

 For almost a year, however, and with increasing frequency, I have been waking with swollen sinuses and head pain that lasts into the day. And as I found so terribly irritating and unhappy-making back in the day, so often these headaches occur on days when I do not have to work.

Monday through Friday I wake up fine, Saturdays and Sundays, or holidays ... headache. I had one yesterday. I was hydrated, I slept cold, I had had one alcoholic beverage, nothing unusual.

Except sleeping until eight. We traditionally get up around five or five-thirty. Went to bed Friday night around midnight, woke up at eight. Complete night of sleep, only three hours without coffee, two hours in daylight. I had a headache yesterday which hung on until I went running in the afternoon.

This morning I set the alarm, something I am loathe to do on a Sunday. I woke at seven am. I already felt a slight stuffiness, and wanted very much to go back to sleep, but then I just kept reminding myself that my head hurt a little and I got up, drank coffee, did some dishes, and my pain went away.

Just can't sleep in. Can't stay up late, can't sleep in.

How many times have I told this story? Aren't you tired of this story?

Distance: 3.33 miles
Avg Pace: 8:44
Duration: 29:06
Route: Boulevard Loop

Surprised at the pace, I thought I was going very slow today. I mean, it's not brisk but it's constant, and faster than yesterday

Temperature: 28°
Climate: bright and sunny
Pavement: drifty with snow, clear in places
Weight: 163 lbs. (+1.5)

1970 Playlist
The Man Who Sold The World - David Bowie
Cecelia - Simon & Garfunkel
The Boxer - Simon & Garfunkel
Oh! Sweet Nuthin' (Early Version) - The Velvet Underground
Your Song - Elton John
ABC - The Jackson 5
Signed, Sealed, Delivered - Stevie Wonder
Snow Flower - Ananda Shankar

... or run away from with flailing arms.

Mornings are more challenging when my run is in the evening. Maybe this is a duh moment, but it is worth noting. Waking up with muscles and joints feeling stiff, perhaps hobbling down stairs. Not my favorite way to begin the day.

Thinking of running slower. When, as yesterday, my goal is a swift three miles, I can push it out pretty fast. Longer runs should be more leisurely ... except they are already long and there's thing to do, man. Gotta get home.

Take it easy. This is training. And it's okay.

Distance: 6 miles
Avg Pace: 7:40
Route: Cain Park Loop

When it feels good, it is hard not to run fast. This morning the wife expressed concern for me, that may injure myself if I am not careful, that I might push too far. This morning's physical complaints might support that argument, and I do not wish to inflict any permanent damage.

But I am careful, I do stretch. I have been cross-training. I eat and drink well. But I promise to be careful.

The difference between my time in New York (4:15) and Cleveland (just below 4:00) was forty-five seconds per mile. I need to break a nine-minute mile to break a four hour marathon. When the time comes, I cannot be running eight minutes miles back-to-back. I won't sustain that. I will learn, through my long runs, how to go as an easier pace.

Temperature: 72°
Climate: sweaty!
Weight: 157 lbs. (-3.0)
Intake: banana
Hydration: yes
Water break: yes
Stretches: yes
Upper Body: 80 reps

Started feeling ill between the third and fourth mile, and believed that I was hungry. But there was a water break in the park. I drank deep, and the discomfort subsided. Not hungry, thirsty! These things are important.

What's That Lyric?
Eject - Pluto Jonze

Run for cover in the temple of love.

Our first full day was one of happy excess, dinner that of loaded macaroni and cheese and alcohol found in surprising places. An aging individual, I find more and more that consumption of alcohol in any amount makes me restless, these past two nights I have found myself awake in the middle of the night.

Fortunately for me, modern technology has provided a backlit reading device with which I can while the time until again I drowse and so my three a.m. alertness does not bother me. It helps to know I have absolutely nothing to do the next day. Nothing at all.

However - and this is a trick I have learned on my journeys to New York - I always fare better when I force myself to rise and take that run. It makes the rest of the day just that much easier. But I will need a nap later.

Distance: 5 miles
Avg Pace: 8.06
Route: Topsail Beach

DID YOU KNOW ..? You can program specific BPM into Spotify? Okay, maybe you did, I just figured that out. MMR says I was just over eight minutes, but the lady told me my split pace was 7:57 as I finished, so I will imagine that to be correct.

Running at 165 BPM, I need to find out if that is eight minutes on pavement. It's probably much faster.

Temperature: 79°
Climate: sunny! breezy!
Intake: yogurt & granola
Hydration: yes
Stretches: yes

Running out into the morning sun, heading back into the wind. While they each slowed me down a bit, they also have their pleasures. Also, running in the morning means not having to dodge all the other beachgoers -- and they don't have to deal with ME.

Wore proper shoes. Feet feel great.

What's That Lyric?
Temple of Love - Sisters of Mercy

I'll only run and hide.

This morning's writing prompt - Would you die for someone? If so, who? - seems particularly horrid and naïve, this morning in particular.

What does it mean, to die for someone? To take their place, to die instead of them at some calamitous point in personal history? Then sure, whatever, no real risk in suggesting I would do so, or even could, because you can't. What is the point of this mental exercise other than to make one feel like a great, self-sacrificing person. I would die for my children, good for me. Who wouldn't?

Expanding on that thought, however, fills me with dread. It is a limitation as a writer, I do not choose to live in those places. There's no reward from it, because I can obsessively roll horrible thoughts in my head, and come to a place of complete inertia.

Yesterday I did confront a fear. It's not often you can say that. It was very challenging, it almost made me cry, and yet I persevered and for a change, I was rewarded. Good for me, good for everyone involved. I passed. I almost felt mature.

Temperature: 55°
Distance: 3.36 miles
Avg Pace: 7.47
Climate: cool and humid

My pace for the final block was about 5.45. I do not wish to have a heart attack, but it feels really good to fly like that. Feeling the way I do today, I am not worried, at least not about that.

I will revisit my doctor in three weeks, for a reevaluation of my blood sugar and other levels.

One month from today I begin marathon training. Looking forward to that.

Weight: 158 lbs.
From Goal: -2.0

Spotify gives me ads for big box hardware stores and the Cleveland Clinic. This is what I get for recording my age and gender.  And yes, I am still working with Spotify.

What's On Daddy's iPhone?
Who Can It Be Now? - Men At Work

Heartbeat! Increasing heartbeat!

MID-TRAINING DIETARY BACKSLIDE!
Today I ate an entire 11.5 oz. bag of Nacho Cheese DORITOS!
In other news of physical discomfort, over the past several day my meralgia paresthetica has been building, and today it has become truly intolerable. Instead of feeling it only on the outside of my right thigh, it has flared up all down the mid-section of the front of my thigh. Why? Who knows. I just want it to stop.

Distance: 6 miles
Route: Neighborhood loop

Temps hit this week's projected high in the mid-sixties ... and missed it.

Temperature: 48º
Climate: cool
Weight: 168.5 lbs.
Snack: Doritos
Hydration? yes
Stretches? yes

Today was a freak-show. Unhappy and ravenous. No excuses tomorrow, or from here on out. The heartburn was a real distraction, and is not good for me at all. Oh well. That was fun ... kind of. Not really. Not fun at all. Boo.

Oblivious Genius Playlist
Oblivious - Aztec Camera
This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us - Sparks
Here's Where the Story Ends - The Sundays
Radio Free Europe (154 bpm) - R.E.M.
Precious - The Jam
Marlene On The Wall - Suzanne Vega
Our Lips Are Sealed - The Fun Boy Three
Dear Prudence - Siouxsie & The Banshees
Wild Wood (154 bpm) - Paul Weller
Skin Trade (Stretch Mix) - Duran Duran
Street Life - Roxy Music
Down In The Tube Station After Midnight - The Jam
Cuts You Up - Peter Murphy

Cooldown:
There She Goes - The La's

Huh. So I got off the beats-per-minute train, and found myself on the most pleasurable, leisurely run in a long time. I would like to beat 4:00 this time, this time which is possibly my last time. Not sure if I can make that, but keeping my speed up is key. However, it has been quite draining. I need to remember to take it easy and enjoy the road.