I thought I heard the shuffle of angels' feet.

"You better run on ... for a long time ..."

And I did. The past several days have been hellish.

Warning: Poop.

We returned from NYC safely enough, and had our traditional Monday night pizza with our dance class friends.

The next morning I had the runs. I felt a little sheepish leaving work early due to a bout of diarrhea (blame my mother) and not a little concerned about soiling the driver's seat of my car. I needn't have worried - by the time I got home I was no longer running. I was blocked.

And it wasn't the food. Our friends reported no ill effects and we had shared the same pizza and a big salad. The wife had a class to teach and I took care of the kids and it was awful. I discovered I could only relax without pain if I were lying down ... but that's hard to do with kids, especially when you need to feed them, put them in peejays and get them into bed.

By nighttime my back was aching terribly, and every time I sat on the toilet, I would get nothing but serious abdominal cramps for my efforts. Credit the feminist in me that I was overwhelmed with thoughts of how grueling childbirth had been for my wife if I felt like this.

By Wednesday things were progressing, in a manner of speaking, though things are still not ... solidified. But OMG did it feel good to get out and move. It made my insides feel good, it made my back feel good, it just felt good, good goody-good.

Run stats:
Distance: 3.25 miles
Weight: 171 lbs.
Stretches: yes
Push-ups: 10
Sit-ups: 29 - and then I realized I shouldn't press my luck.
Temperature: 39º (Really? 39º? I don't believe you.)
Weather: cool ... but not 39º. Couldn't be.
Gear: long-sleeve shirt, windbreaker, hat, shorts, gloves

1999 Playlist
Leo Ryan (Our Pharoah's Slave) - Lilys
Push Upstairs - Underworld
What Would Brian Boitano Do? - South Park soundtrack
Big Pimpin - Jay-Z ft. UGK
Run On - Moby
In the Street - Cheap Trick
Lullaby of Clubland - Everything But the Girl

(Last Year's 1999 Playlist)
Five Fathoms - Everything But the Girl
All Star - Smashmouth
Accepting Applications At University - Lilys
Cups - Underworld

UPDATE: Neglected to mention ... the strain on my abdomen has made the area around the hernia operation I had in 1995 inflamed. It hurt for two days, and I worried (as I have worried for thirteen years now) that it was time for another operation. Today, nothing. "As you hear from me, so think of me."

Here we go again

Distance: 3.25 miles
Time: 8.10pm
Stretches: yes
Sit-ups: yes
Drink: Gatorade All Stars(!)
Weight: 170.5 lbs.
Weather: 19º with scant flurries

1980 Playlist
Antmusic* - Adam and the Ants
Ah! Leah! - Donnie Iris
Call Me - Blondie
Enola Gay - Orchestral Manoevres in the Dark
Driven to Tears* - The Police
Transmission - Joy Division
Pretty Boys* - Joe Jackson
Take This Town - XTC
Cooldown: Play For Today - The Cure

Intake
Breakfast: coffee, PowerBar Triple Threat, water
Lunch: chicken & potato curry with rice
Dinner: ribs, salad, sweet potatoes (no seconds), beer

Breakfast disgusts me. Milk, cereal, eggs, beans, whatever. I don't wish to eat, but I am hungry. Even passed on cake at my girl's birthday party, now there's a first.

A few days after New Year's 1995, I began feeling a pain in my lower abdomen (you know what's crazy - I don't know which side) which was aggravated by either a) slipping and falling on my ass at my place of employment or b) joining my last mosh pit seeing Nine Inch Nails. In February I had a hernia operation. I was warned then that I may eventually need another on the other side.

I have had that hanging over my head, or wherever it hangs, for twelve years.

This was also when I began gaining weight. I had yo-yo'ed in size from when I began college. 150 in high school, topping out at 185 when I was 20, dropping down to 145 shortly thereafter, rising steadily to 190 when I turned 22, forcing myself down to 145 again (to play the Elephant Man) a few years later, holding steady at 170 after my first marriage began, plummeting to 150 as it disintegrated, and after hooking up with my wife I peaked on New Year's 1997 at 200 pounds.

A condition that was not related to my weak musculature (well, I don't know maybe it is) made it necessary for me to begin wearing compression pants in 1996. I was around 180 then, and I was attempting some regular exercise, which would leave me doubled over in pain. I thought it was the other hernia, but it wasn't (and no, don't ask) and my doctor said compression would help. I forget how long I wore them. On days I went without a growing ache would develop, and I'd have to get them on as soon as possible.

I remember once going out dancing and I had to stop without whoever I was with at a drug store to buy some because I knew I couldn't do my thing without them. I felt old then. I wasn't even thirty. I assume I would have to wear them the rest of my life.

I can't remember when I stopped wearing them. It was a long time ago. '99? 2000? When our boy died, we both got much more serious about our health, and my new job made it possible to go long stretches away from anything I could shove into my mouth. I weighed, perhaps for the last time, 155 lbs.

I hope I never have to wear a truss again. I have begun doing sit-ups, not out of any sense of vanity (okay, that's a lie) but because I just need to do something to hold myself together.

Hmn.

That makes me sweat

Distance: 4 miles
Stretches: yes
Sports Drink: yes
Snack: PowerBar
Time: 5:30am
Weather: warm, humid & foggy

"Breaking Point" Playlist:
World Shut Your Mouth - Julian Cope
The Mayor of Simpleton - XTC
It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) - R.E.M.
Need You Tonight - INXS
Dominion/Mother Russia - The Sisters of Mercy
Radio Song - R.E.M.
Dreaming I Am - Bob Mould
Mandinka - Sinead O'Connor
Alex Chilton - The Replacements
Cooldown: Fairplay - Soul II Soul

Hernias the size of grapefruit. That's all I'm saying.