We'll run away together.

We keep control, in all things. Very good day with my new therapist, we are putting some plans in place. I am going to use systems to limit my screen time. Suddenly I have ramped up submissions. I do not think that is a coincidence.

2001 Playlist
Island In the Sun - Weezer
Packt Like Sardines In a Crushd Tin Box - Radiohead
19-2000 (Soulchild Remix)  - Gorillaz
Bird Watching at Inner Forest - Cornelius
Weapon of Choice - Fatboy Slim
This Charming Man - Stars

Cooldown:
Cigarettes &Chocolate Milk (Reprise) - Rufus Wainwright

That was amazing. I felt amazing. That pace is real, yo. I was blazing. Chris and I ran a good loop, talked about good thing, good things for both of us.

That playlist is off the chain, tho. Makes a difference.

Distance: 4.85 miles
Pace: 8:56
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 68°
Climate: warm & wonderful
Mood: good!

Breakfast: coffee with cream, 1 cup raisin bran with 2% milk, add'l raisins, dried cranberries, banana, salted almonds
Snack: coffee with cream
Lunch: Shrimp sushi roll, diet soda
Snack: Seasoned almonds with dried cranberries
Dinner: Chicken Caesar, beer (one)

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 180.5 lbs. (-0.5)
Goal: 180 lbs.

Summer begins.

Lazy Sunday morning making blueberry pancakes for a trio of sleepover girls and one growing dude.

Yesterday was Parade the Circle. When it was proposed that the boy and I hitch a ride across town the the pARTy in Gordon Square, and take the Trolley home, I instantly decided that nothing would get done today and that that was a wise and sensible decision.

It helped that earlier in the day I had visited JJ. I jabbered on for about a full hour about all the great things that were going on and she said, "Well. Your life sounds very good." I agreed, and she suggested I call her sometime in the future if the need arises.

Last night, strangely enough, my neck began feeling very sore, and it still does today. Stress? Really? Illness? Is it because summer theater camp begins tomorrow, that doesn't make sense, that's in the bag. Cruising down the Shoreway with the windows open in a big, goofy trolley named "Lolly" with your arm slung around an eight year-old boy who leans back into you and tells you about all the very interesting things he is thinking about everything, this is not a stress-inducing situation.

We'll see. Maybe there is something lurking on the horizon, maybe this is some dull, slow, uninteresting kind of Spider-sense. But I do not think so.

Get DOUBLE HEART to FringeNYC because kissing.

Temperature: 70°
Climate: overcast, balmy
Distance: 3.25 miles (stopping & starting)

Each child received a "new" bike for Memorial Day. Hers is a great second-hander, his is hers. When we bought hers new, we insisted it be a color that work for her younger brother. As it turns out, blue is her favorite color, anyway, and I wasn't buying a Barbie bicycle, regardless.

I was all set to take a run (even though I am feeling more achy and ill now than I was two hours ago) with my headphones on, when the boy asked if he could bike alongside me. Previously, accepting a co-run meant cutting my run short, but with a bike? We went the distance! With some walking.

Your legs give way, you hit the ground.

We return to JJ, for additional guidance in managing anxiety and depression. Anxiety, of course, can stimulate one to act, which I have found very effective. It is in combination with depression that we get into trouble. I do not feel I have been depressed lately, at least not for maybe two months. No ass-dragging depression. Just anxiety. Constant anxiety. Relentless anxiety.

We had a date last night, the wife and I. We went to see There Is a Happiness That Morning Is at CPT. That was incredible, really enjoyable, emotional and outrageous and hilarious and ultimately satisfying.  The moment I walked in and saw the set I was filled with joy. And yet, there were moments when my thoughts flew away on a troubling journey of analysis.

About a half-hour in, after bringing her up-to-date on everything that has occurred in the past two or so years since out last session (by and large, there were good things to report) she asked me what makes me happy. I spoke before I even thought.

"Running," I said. "I love running." And then I started to tear up. "Running makes me happy."

Temperature: 50°
Climate: Bright, cool, perfect
Distance: 3.25 miles

So what keeps you from running? You say you are now running once a week, if it makes you happy, why only once a week?

The Annual Playlists are a major motivation to get out and run during the coldest months. Trying to get them all in before the end of April, for example. That's not me saying I want to run, that is a task to be accomplished, something outside of myself, a compulsion, even. And a satisfying one. It has a beginning, a middle and end. There is a celebration.

And then, transition. How do you handle transitions? Transitions are very depressing, aren't they? Even transitions from the planning to the execution, the waiting, it is time to fear failure, that you are a joke, that no one loves you. Until they all show up and everyone has a good time and you were a fool for doubting yourself.

I am in transition. Another transition. A big transition. We all know that. So. Running will help. How do we run more than once or twice a week? The wife helps, but she is not responsible for this on her own.

Keeping my kit clean, and folded and organized, that always helps. Lord, I hate having to search for my shoes.

We will meet again in two weeks.

Whenever You're On My Mind Playlist
Whenever You're On My Mind - Marshall Crenshaw
Save It For Later - The Beat
In The Street - Big Star
Ah! Leah! - Donny Iris
If I Didn't Love You - Squeeze
The Ballad of El Goodo - Big Star
If I Can't Change Your Mind - Sugar
Helpless - Sugar

Music for Summer. Music for nostalgia. Here we go again.

... then you think again.

Following a tearful session with a new therapist, it is traditional to eat the larger part of a family size bag of Doritos on the drive back home.

Isn't it?



Distance: 3.25 miles
Temperature: 72º
Weather: very sweaty
Weight: 160 lbs.

Sound Of Silver Genius Mix
Sound Of Silver - LCD Soundsystem
Girl and the Sea - The Presets
FM (Tensnake Remix) - Junior Boys
Let's Make Love and Listen to Death from Above (Calvin Harris Remix) - CSS
Herculean - The Good, The Bad And The Queen