I'm a lyrical poet.

Twenty years ago today, I ran five miles and the only thing I posted was the header "That sucked." I believe the reason for this was an argument my wife and I had right before heading out that made me miserable.

An anonymous commentator, one who had been following my my progress, wrote:

Well, what did you expect? You didn't stretch or drink. You listened to no music, it took no time and you weighed nothing.

He also added:

Seriously, keep going, guy. You've trained, you've done the work. You will survive this.

I really appreciated that. I think that was my brother.

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 27:08
Pace: 8:44

We made it to Thursday, and then I collapsed. Work at 3 AM with a headache. Slept too warm, got up, took pain reliever, didn't make any difference. Called off work. I feel bad about that, of course, but it/s noon and I still feel like shit.

This is becoming a regular thing now and I do not care for it. Then again, what I particularly do not care for is conducting a five day residency. It's very taxing for me now, on my feet for five hours, engaging somewhat disinterested students, using my voice a lot.

And Death of a Salesman. I mean, come on.

Anyway, I'm hoping a run will drive this out of me.

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 72°
Climate: sunny & hot
Mood: good! but my head hurts!

Fall 1990 Mixtape
Praying For Time - George Michael

I'm Your Baby Tonight - Groove Is In the Heart - Deee-Lite

Dance of the Dream Man - Angelo Badalamenti

Feels Good - Tony! Toni! Toné!

Policy of Truth - Depeche Mode

We have begun shedding weight. For the moment I have become accustomed to eating less and getting anxious about any additional intake. I need to find the right balance. I can feel it in my hips, my end, my legs.

Of course, as I said, I have also been standing this week, a lot more than usual.

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 163 lbs. (+0.2)

Planks: TBA
Push-ups: TBA

Sit-Ups: TBA

Went the distance.

It's a big week. I'm teaching the Death of a Salesman residency, the same residency I was teaching twenty-five years ago. It's changed a little, not much. The kids haven't changed much, either. It's a bit surprising to hear high school juniors in Chagrin Falls remarking about how bad the economy is, but I guess I'm glad they know. 

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 28:03
Pace: 9:02

Anyway, five classes a day is a lot for me now. I mean, it's fine. It's a drag. Four classes back to back ... then a ninety minute break followed by a fifth class. It's a long day on my feet.

Then I need to jet downtown to take care of time-sensitive business (see: writing contest) and help how I can with the show.

The show! My show, that is going up this weekend! Another show! Goodness, what a month. Monday we're going to Cincinnati to see the boy play. I am looking forward to that, a little vacation after all this business.

We're still not drinking. How long have I ever gone without drinking, smoking, taking antianxiety medication, or all the rest? Ts. Remarkable.

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 65°
Climate: beautiful!!!
Mood: good

So, what was I listening to at that time when I began high school. It went a little something like this.

Fall 1982 Mixtape

Pressure - Billy Joel

Shock the Monkey - Peter Gabriel

Eye of the Tiger - Survivor

Don't You Want Me- Human League

Tainted Love - Soft Cell

You Dropped a Bomb On Me - The Gap Band

Hot in the City - Billy Idol (Cleveland!)

Yes. We were young and anxious.

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 162.8 lbs. (-2.4)

It's been a beautiful week, I'll give you that. We have to leave for classes before the sun comes up, so an afternoon run it is.

And I have been most responsible, not only preparing lunches for the entire week, preparing breakfast for the entire week! Fresh fruit, cut and frozen! What a good boy am I.

Planks: yes
Push-ups: yes

Sit-Ups: yes

I'd die without you.

Someone must explain to me these Saturday/Sunday headaches. I used to think o no, I had two drinks last night and now my head hurts. I am a bad person. But there is no drinking, no drugs. Just sleep. Must I wake up at five or six to have coffee on weekend mornings? I mean, I can do that. 

Then there is the old man, who disrupts me regularly. I just want to have a weekend free from discomfort and pain, alas.

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 27:18
Pace: 8:48

Twenty years ago, I was in malaise, tapering, waiting for the big race. It was eleven days until the New York City Marathon.

Ever since the weather turned I have felt in limbo. Also, since the numbers started going down instead of up. Just treading water. Staying limber.

This week I will be attending evening rehearsals and teaching five classes a day. That's in addition to just taking care of house and spouse. I should be grateful I am not training for a marathon.

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 47°
Climate: nice & cool
Mood: good

Moving in.

Fall 1992 Mixtape

Jeremy - Pearl Jam

Crucify * - Tori Amos

Rhythm Is a Dancer - SNAP!

Erotica - Madonna

I'd Die Without You * - P.M. Dawn

Don't Stop - Fleetwood Mac

This is when the 90s truly began.

Stretches: yes
Water: no. oops.
Weight: 165.2 lbs. (+0.2)

Ate whatever I wanted yesterday. Burrito, sushi, pizza. It was pretty cool.

Planks: yes
Push-ups: TBA

Sit-Ups: yes

I am not going out like any punk bitch.

2275 Professor Street
Then (1992) & Then (2018)
(coffee shop formerly known as Beviamo)

Cat kept me up all night. He can go months without sleeping with me, then he remembers how nice it is. And I am glad he still gets out of bed to pee. But then he wants back in.

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 27:28
Pace: 8:51 

The next week will be a bear. I teach five classes a day, every day next week. It's going to be a drag.

Had a dream last night, I was leading a lesson but some kids who weren't paying attention were comparing tunes on transistor radios. I lost my temper, which is not my style, but they were so rude.

I said, "Give me the fucking radio."

And that was kind of it for the class.

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 47°
Climate: cloudy & perfect 
Mood: all right

Fall 1992 Mixtape

Good Stuff - The B-52's

Too Funky (Extended) - George Michael

Jump Around - House of Pain

Baby Got Back - Sir Mix-A-Lot

Happiness in Slavery - Nine Inch Nails

Pretend We're Dead - L7

As summer leaned into fall that fateful year, we were preparing a space for performance. Crazy, right? I was 24 years old and starting a theater company. What a fantasy!

Yesterday, I was in that space. I was giving a rep from our sister company the nickel tour of CLE and came through Tremont to show off some thing. I bought him a coffee at Roasted, which is located in the former Professor Street Theater.

I also skipped lunch. Didn't mean to do that.

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 165 lbs. (-0.4)

Planks: yes
Push-ups: yes

Sit-Ups: yes

Twenty years ago, I ran fifteen miles by taking the five mile circuit around my house three times. I was tapering, I had already run the trek from my house to my parents' on Sept 30, and should have done another twenty but never did.

The blog post for this fifteen miler is the most visited post on my blog, three times as many visits as the post that comes in second. I attribute this to the fact that I listed every single track I listened to on my run, which is a lot and must show up on countless searches.

"I rose and dressed for cold. Welcome back butter beanie, welcome back bullethead. Yesterday I got new soles, new gloves (awesome gloves) and a new running hat."

I'm wearing those same awesome gloves today.

Again ... I said I was a time bomb.

Exhausted, distracted. A bit overwhelmed.

And that was before we watched the documentary.

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 27:51
Pace: 8:59

The big, full days continue. And that's what you wanted, right?

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 42°
Climate: clear & cool
Mood: angsty

Since the show closed, I have had a pull in the left side of my neck. This may be because ... well, it may be because of a number of things. Stress has manifested itself in my neck many, many times -- but not for a long, long time.

Fall 1988 Mixtape

Don't Believe the Hype - Public Enemy
Wild, Wild West - Escape Club

What's On Your Mind (Pure Energy) - Information Society

Simply Irresistible - Robert Palmer

Chains of Love - Erasure

Talkin' Bout a Revolution - Tracy Chapman

What I Am - Edie Brickell & New Bohemians

Stretches: yes 
Water: yes
Weight: 165.4 lbs. (+0.6)

Planks: TBA
Push-ups: TBA

Sit-Ups: TBA

Your feet are going to be on the ground.

Late 1991

This past week has been an historic emotional epic. I was depressed and anxious in the lead up to these I Hate This house performances, which is entirely normal and to be expected, and then every single one of these performance was wonderful, and better than wonderful.

Diana came into town to see it. I can't begin to put into words how grateful I am.

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 27:07
Pace: 8:45

And still. My wife and I are not out of the woods yet in this house, and I believe we never will be. I took a turn down a dark path to help someone very close to me. I told my shameful secrets. And I heard terrible truths. When, if ever, will we emerge?

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 42°
Climate: brisk, lovely!
Mood: troubled

We continue to run out of doors. I am not ready to commit to the rec center yet.

Yesterday

Fall 1988 Mixtape

What's the Matter Here - 10,000 Maniacs

Peek-A-Boo - Siouxsie & the Banshees

I Don't Want Your Love - Duran Duran

Stand - R.E.M.

Never Tear Us Apart - INXS

Desire - U2ny

It Takes Two - Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock

Fall 1988 was my first great mental breakdown. So much anger, so lost. So much shit I had brought down onto myself. The music will always be my friend.

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 164.8 lbs. (+0.2)

Planks: TBA
Push-ups: TBA

Sit-Ups: TBA

Whatever words I say I will always love you.

A Facebook post from East Cleveland Mayor Sandra Morgan:

The restoration work has started in historic Forest Hill Park! I’m thankful for our partnership with the Metroparks and look forward to our work together: taking down dead and vulnerable trees, repairing the boathouse, clearing away bramble and more. There’s so much more to come: stay tuned!🌳

Can't tell you how excited I am about this. The former administration had the opportunity to engage the Metroparks in managing the park, but those negotiations fell apart.

I am glad to say I have met Morgan, and was thrilled when she was elected. East Cleveland is a city with a deep history and many great obstacles to overcome but she engenders a great deal of trust and I am looking forward to good things from her.

Distance: 3.1 mles

Duration: 26:22
Pace: 8:30

Performances of I Hate This continue. The last three dates are sold and oversold. A few days ago I was questioning the entire endeavor, and now I so content. I have made people laugh at the worst time in our lives (they cry, too) raised a couple hundred bucks for the Preeclampsia Foundation (make yours today) and gotten to work closely with new people.

What is not to absolutely love?

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 47°
Climate: overcast, getting chilly 
Mood: good

Fall 1989 Mixtape

Shadrach - Beastie Boys

Blame It On the Rain - Milli Vanilli

Lovesong - The Cure

Love In an Elevator - Aerosmith

Fools Gold - The Stone Roses

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 164.6 lbs. (-0-)

Been the exact same weight for three days running so I think my new scale is broken.

Planks: yes
Push-ups: yes

Sit-Ups: yes

One week ago I was full of anxiety about this endeavor. Then it opened and I felt great. Now I am full of anxiety because my ex-wife is coming to see it tonight.

Just kidding, that's amazing. I am full of apprehension but also joy. I'm full of all kinds of good things.