See how I've changed now? My head's so clear.

Last week I gave up. It has been a long time since I have done that, but I just stopped exercising entirely. The fact that it has been cold has a lot to do with it, but also because I have been in pain and I was tired of exacerbating the pain. In my hip, my sciatic nerve. Monday morning I woke up and my legs just felt horrible, heavy and pained.

Also, depressed. Uninspired. Without motivation of any kind. These moods come. They also go.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Avg. Pace: 8:15
Duration: 26:49
Route: Forest Hill Park Loop

Meanwhile, I ate everything. I ate all the things. Just stopped caring. And as I passed the ten day mark I realized I had become afraid of running.That doing so would be a bad thing, not a good thing. The pain would return, and I would be depressingly more aware of the pounds I had added, after being so judicious and careful since New Year's.

I have been through this for more than half my life. But I have never been in this kind of existential quandary about running itself. Not that I can't run, that I am prohibited from running, physically. Nor that I am depressed and that I do not want to run, emotionally.  But that I actually feel what is the point of all this running? Why do it?

Personally, I blame Trump.

Pavement: dry
Temperature: 54°
Climate: overcast & cool
Mood: trying.

Did I mention the headaches? Allergy season. It was between fifty and seventy degrees yesterday, but there was just no way.

Baseline: 174 lbs.
Today: 168 lbs. (+3.5)
Goal: 165 lbs.
Ideal: 160 lbs.

Winded at first, just like starting over. Eased up as I went. First I felt a twinge in my right knee (did I mention I had an evening last week when my right knee was in a great deal of pain) then a twist in my left ankle. Both went away. Kept moving.

Felt good to visit the park again. Trees that fell over two weeks ago, cut up and waiting to be carted away. Wonder if I would get apprehended for taking a few of the smaller ones for the fire pit.

Did I mention I got a fire pit? The wife is out of town for the week, and there will be a few pleasant surprises around when she returns.

Did I mention my wife is out of town?

1992 Playlist
My Name Is Prince - Prince
Blood Makes Noise - Suzanne Vega
My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It) - En Vogue
Freedom (Back To Reality Mix) - George Michael
The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead - XTC
Fascination (Live) - Everything But the Girl

This was the year everything happened. Started my first theater company, Bill Clinton was elected, also I was married -- for the first time.

Good Lord, but that last one describes the feelings I had about her. Sad lesson.

What was it we were thinking of?