We never lost control.

Headaches have returned. I have always had headaches, debilitating headaches. Beginning when I was around 12 and continuing until about ten or so years ago they could become something like migraines, and perhaps that's what they were. They had symptoms in common with migraines, and they could render an entire day useless.

Recently I was sorting through Christmas cards and found some photographs which had been filed away with them, pictures of the children with Christine at the Chicago children's museum.

Attending the perinatal bereavement conference in Chicago in 2006, I successfully performed I Hate This on Friday and woke on Saturday with a full-on headache that became a torrid migraine, complete with the shivers and blinding flashes of painful light. Christine and her sister graciously offered to take the kids for the entire day while Toni attended conference events and I curled up miserable in our hotel room.

It has been some time since I have suffered like that. After numerous consultations and even an MRI of my head, the cause of my pain was inconclusive. I took medication for migraines which were perhaps fifty percent effective. I decided at one point to simply listen to my body, and try to determine the causes of the pain, when it happened, and what may lead up to them.

Alcohol, perhaps. But not always. Dehydration, yes, so I tried drinking water in the middle of the night and that helped, sometimes. Sleeping too warmly was often a factor. I cannot sleep with socks on, that will nearly always give me a headache. Broken sleep was also an issue. Having infant children who needed changing or imply to be lulled back to sleep was, I believe, a major factor in my frequent migraines in the mid-aughts.

Then there was the fact that the pain generally localizes in my sinuses. I began taking pseudoephedrine at the first sign of pain, and that generally works, taken with pain reliever.

 For almost a year, however, and with increasing frequency, I have been waking with swollen sinuses and head pain that lasts into the day. And as I found so terribly irritating and unhappy-making back in the day, so often these headaches occur on days when I do not have to work.

Monday through Friday I wake up fine, Saturdays and Sundays, or holidays ... headache. I had one yesterday. I was hydrated, I slept cold, I had had one alcoholic beverage, nothing unusual.

Except sleeping until eight. We traditionally get up around five or five-thirty. Went to bed Friday night around midnight, woke up at eight. Complete night of sleep, only three hours without coffee, two hours in daylight. I had a headache yesterday which hung on until I went running in the afternoon.

This morning I set the alarm, something I am loathe to do on a Sunday. I woke at seven am. I already felt a slight stuffiness, and wanted very much to go back to sleep, but then I just kept reminding myself that my head hurt a little and I got up, drank coffee, did some dishes, and my pain went away.

Just can't sleep in. Can't stay up late, can't sleep in.

How many times have I told this story? Aren't you tired of this story?

Distance: 3.33 miles
Avg Pace: 8:44
Duration: 29:06
Route: Boulevard Loop

Surprised at the pace, I thought I was going very slow today. I mean, it's not brisk but it's constant, and faster than yesterday

Temperature: 28°
Climate: bright and sunny
Pavement: drifty with snow, clear in places
Weight: 163 lbs. (+1.5)

1970 Playlist
The Man Who Sold The World - David Bowie
Cecelia - Simon & Garfunkel
The Boxer - Simon & Garfunkel
Oh! Sweet Nuthin' (Early Version) - The Velvet Underground
Your Song - Elton John
ABC - The Jackson 5
Signed, Sealed, Delivered - Stevie Wonder
Snow Flower - Ananda Shankar