Tuesday, November 30, 2021

All this talking is only bravado.

This morning I wrote about control. I don't like that word, control. It suggests an exertion of power, which is not what I am looking for. Rather, to choose. To start again, and to mke a choice. That every moment is a moment to make a choice, to make a helpful (not "correct") choice.

Huffing as I am walking up the stairs at school is not something I approve of. I will take the stairs, I will not take the elevator, not yet. This remains a choice I can make.

I made cookies this morning, for others. Not for me. I ate one, to see what it tastes like, and that is all.

Yesterday I made unfortunate choices. Two snack bags of Doritos. A very large breakfast. I had a bowl of cereal before sleep, what was the point of that? There is no balance. These are not choices. This is a form of power, my id forcing itself on my ego.

Exercising is also a choice, and one I have made for this morning.

Also, I got my glasses repaired yesterday. Didn't even cost anything. That was a happy thing. More happy things.

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 32:08
Pace: 10:22
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 34°
Climate: overcast & chilly
Mood: all right?
Weight: 178.5 lbs. (+1.5) 

Nice, easy run. Perfect temperature for the gear I was wearing. Gentle steps. My knees hurt, both of them. Not where they bend, but on top, where they struck the pavement. But running aggravates that, too.

Life is beginning again. Life is always beginning again.

Intake
Breakfast: coffee (3x), cookie (1, a tester)
Lunch: turkey leg, green beans, cookie (1, to enjoy)
Snack: banana half
Happy Hour: beer (1x)
Dinner: mushroom & tofu teriyaki stir fry over rice
Cocktail: Od Fashioned
Also: fizzy water (1x)

See? Choice. Decision.

What's That Lyric?
Tinseltown in the Rain - The Blue Nile

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