Hear the highway breathing.

June 2019

"How beautifully leaves grow old. 

How full of light and color are their last days."

- John Burroughs

Live to Run - Run to Live

Cris Dopher died on Sunday evening. I have mentioned him here a few times. He came to see And Then You Die (How I Ran a Marathon in 26.2 Years) at the NY Fringe ten years ago this month. He commented on my blog and we began a sporadic correspondence. We met up to chat in Chelsea the following year, he gave me my first tour of the new High Line.

Cris was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis when he was five, they said he had another five to live. He was forty-seven when he passed.

In 2013 I asked him to design lights for Double Heart at the the Fringe. He used to run, but by that time he was carrying oxygen, and had to take a break every half block. That was the last time we met up, though we stayed in touch.

Since then he had a lung transplant. During that experience he met a woman who is also living with CF and they fell in love and got engaged. He was in a horrific motorcycle accident which almost killed him. He survived liver cancer, and recently had started chemotherapy for cancer in his new lungs. That was the fight at last he couldn't win.

Cancer, again. After all that, fucking cancer.

Like I said, we communicated sporadically, through social media. I kept up with his blog, and through long detailed posts on his Facebook page. He started his running blog a year before I started this one. This photo (at right) has always been a great inspiration to me.

He had cystic fibrosis, and he ran.

Cris was very generous. Cris had an attitude. Cris spoke his mind. Cris was an artist. Cris was a biker. Cris was a runner. Cris was a marathon runner.

I'm going to miss Cris.

If you wish to make a donation, his favorites were:

• Boomer Esiason Foundation (Team Boomer)
• Cystic Fibrosis Foundation
• Ellie’s Army  (he named his motorcycle after her)
• Behind the Scenes

Distance: 4 miles
Duration: 35:42
Pace: 8:55
Route: Boulevard Loop
Temperature: 66°
Climate: cool
Mood: as you would expect
Stretches: yes
Water: no (crap)

What's That Lyric?
And She Was - Talking Heads

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 167.5 lbs. (+2.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

I want it to be perfect like before.

It wasn't the first time I had met my future in-laws, it wan't the first time I had pulled up outside to pick up the woman who I would one day be married to. But the first time I stepped into their home is a day I will never forget.

It was Thanksgiving weekend, 1994. I had picked Toni up from the airport in Columbus, she'd flown in from NYC for the weekend, to be with her family. She and I were not officially a couple, not publicly. I was still married to someone else.

I was nervous. I didn't know what to expect. It was more awkward than you might imagine, the last time I had met them was probably as guests at my first wedding.

And yet, I was welcomed, unconditionally. That's what they do, that's who they are, beautiful, open-hearted people, quite possibly the least judgmental people I know. It is always a joy to return to this place, even or especially when times are difficult. It's the safest place I know.

Distance: 4 miles
Avg. Pace: 8:02
Duration: 32:10
Route: Hocking River Bike Path

We're having an impromptu gathering at the house this weekend, aunts and uncles and lots of visitors. Clear skies, cookouts, and children. You would think that things were good.

Temperature: 78°
Climate: sunny & hot
Mood: what you might expect

The kids and I packed for one night, and I brought my running kit. I wasn't sure if I would take the time, with so much going on here, but by the end of the morning I figured, what is my excuse not to? I used to love running, and now I kind of dread it. I know I will feel some pain, that I may need to go slow, that I'll be tried, thirsty, things I don't normally worry about.

And yet, it was gorgeous. Hot, but with a little breeze. I was going to run three, but at a mile and a half, I just had to keep going. The last time we were in Athens I was winded already at a mile and a half. It felt very good.

What's That Lyric?
A Night Like This - The Cure

Love is you.

Mmn. Doesn't take much. Hate to complain. Don't want to be a complainer. But one week of winter is wearing me down something serious. Mostly, I cannot get warm. I am wearing layers - layers of pants, thermal shirts under my shirts, always in boots.

And my muscles. Sitting has become a real pain. Yes, I said it. Buttocks, hips and thighs. Aches, some familiar and some not so much. Running should help this, but the weather works against it.

But hey. It's not cancer, right?

God damn it.

Distance: 3.3 miles
Avg Pace: 8:54
Duration: 29:23
Route: Four times around the block
Temperature: 23°
Climate: cold, bright
Pavement: drifts of chunky snow
Weight: 162 lbs. (-1.5)
Mood: not good

1990 Playlist
Love - The Dream Academy
Love For Sale - Fine Young Cannibals
New Power Generation - Prince
Hard To Handle - The Black Crowes
So Hard - Pet Shop Boys
Praying For Time - George Michael
Keep On Marching - The Meters
Night and Day - U2