Everybody knows that you live forever.

Two years ago, I remember where I was. It was in North Carolina and I was sitting out on the deck, writing. There was this flashing in my left eye, it lasted a long time. Quite distracting. When it subsided, I noticed that there were a number of blurry little things, floating in my eye.

The eye doctor said that ... well he said something, I can't remember exactly what. Just a deterioration, something coming away from something else in the back of my eye. He didn't sound concerned. It's one of those thing, an operation may help alleviate the floaters, but really. Fixing it would be a major operation and possibly unsuccessful and was it really so inconvenient?

No, not so inconvenient. But it has continued. Not getting worse, but no better, either. A minor inconvenience,

The other day, as I was lying down to rest, the was more flashing. This time, in the lower right quadrant of my sight, a curve, like a corona, a bright line in the darkness when I closed my eyes. Monday night as I slept there was a different kind of flashing, like concentrated arms of light, in the same area.

Yesterday I looked in the mirror and closed my right eye, and I realized I had lost sight in ten to fifteen percent of vision in my left eye. Right where the corona had been, my sight had been carved away. 

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 31:15
Pace: 10:04
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 79°
Climate: sunny & humid
Mood: anxious
Stretches: yes
Abdominals:
Water: yes, but not enough

Weight: 180 lbs. (+1.0)

Goal: 175 lbs.

What's That Lyric?

Everybody Knows - Leonard Cohen

See you on the cove.

Panic on the streets of London.

The world is seized by extreme temperatures. In Cleveland it's all right at the moment, just summery. When my brother lives, in England, they are coping with monstrously high temperatures. Record levels.

This is where we are. This is where we are headed. These are facts, and my children will have to deal with them because we have failed to.

Meanwhile, the vision in my left eye is getting worse. Cloudy, specks, floaters, even flashing lights when I try to sleep at night. I saw one eye doctor, twice, who had little patience or interest in my concerns. I will be seeing (heh) a new eye doctor soon.

Long ago I realized that if I had to choose, I would rather be blind than deaf. This is still true. 

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 29:45
Pace: 9:36
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 81°
Climate: sunny & hot
Mood: all right
Stretches: yes
Abdominals:
Water: yes

Weight: 179 lbs. (-0-)

Goal: 175 lbs.

Yeah, we're in a Cincinnati Marriott, visiting a school tomorrow. The boy and I checked out the fitness room.

Distance: 2 miles
Duration: 24:00
Route: Treadmill
Mood: good
Stretches: oops. no.
Abdominals: 90 sec. (2x)
Water: yes

His atomic heart.

Now taking my sertraline at bedtime. The wife heard that it helps you sleep, and truly, it obviates the need for melatonin. I feel much better this week than I did last week. It also helps to sleep until seven or eight o'clock.

But I'm not writing. I don't know yet if that is a choice or not. Might as well say it is. The reading today, however, was off the chain (means 'lit'.)

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 29:52
Pace: 9:38
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 78°
Climate: overcast, sundown, after the rain
Mood: good
Stretches: yes
Water: Yes

Weight: 179 lbs. (-2.0)

Goal: 175 lbs.

What's That Lyric? 

Automatic Man - Michael Sembello

It's a hundred miles from yesterday night.

Zenyatta Mondatta is the greatest album by The Police. Folks say its Synchronicity, which is a very good record, and quite possibly ranks as high as their fifth best. That's an argument for another time.

Tracks from Zenyatta keep popping up on the boy's playlist, and then we start talking about what a great record it is. By their own account they were "disappointed" with it, that they made it too fast during a very short break in their touring schedule (four weeks) but maybe that's why it's so great. They didn't over think it.

Listen to their re-recording of "Don't Stand So Close To Me" if you'll see what I mean. 

I tell people I was listening to so much Genesis in high school, but seriously, The Police were a very close second. Everything else was third.

Distance: 4.1 miles

Duration: 38:11
Pace: 9:11
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 77°
Climate: sunny & warm
Mood: good
Stretches: yes
Abdominals:
Water: yes

Weight: 181 lbs. (-1.0)

Goal: 175 lbs.

My God, what a beautiful day. What a beautiful body. I felt good, the entire time. 

Zenyatta Mondatta - The Police (1980)

Don't Stand So Close To Me

Driven To Tears (161 bpm)

When the World Is Running Down, You Make the Best of What's Still Around

Canary In a Coalmine

Voices Inside My Head

Bombs Away

De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da

Behind My Camel

Man In a Suitcase

Shadows In the Rain (158 bpm)

The Other Way of Stopping (165 bpm)

Spring Break, April 1982. We were visiting relatives in Florida. I was lying on the shag carpeting of a bedroom at my aunt's and uncle's condo in Clearwater. High in the sky, slide doors opened to the gulf a few hundred feet away.

My brother had a Walkman, but he let me use it. He had a 90 minute cassette of Zenyatta Mondatta b/w Ghost In the Machine, dubbed from his vinyl records. While they include the pop of vinyl it was also the first time I had really listened to music on headphones, Walkman headphones. I was transported. I was alive. I was about to turn fourteen. And I needed to break up with my girlfriend.

Yeah, it's gone daddy gone.

Phil Collins in space.

Evening run with the boy. a debate about where to go, how far to go, and how fast. He preferred one, seven minute mile. I said I couldn't do that, like physically. His reaction was challenging. I don't want him to make me run faster than I feel comfortable doing. Isn't that acceptable?

I also don't want to freak him out about my health concerns. They may be entirely in my head. But seriously, a flat-out seven minute mile? Not my thing anymore.

Distance: 1.55 miles
Duration: 13:35
Pace: 8:43
Route: Mayfield Loop
Temperature: 71°
Climate: sunset & humid
Mood: good
Stretches: yes
Abdominals: 90 sec.
Water: yes

Weight: 182 lbs. (+2.0)

Goal: 175 lbs.

That went very well. I set the pace with the music, which made it easier for me. It was fun! Up the street, up the hill, along the main city thoroughfare and then down, down, downhill. Nice.

Now. I promised ice cream.

160 - 169 BPM Playlist

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised - Gil Scott Heron

Gone Daddy Gone - Violent Femmes

Cruel World - Phantogram

You Don't Mess Around With Jim - Jim Croce

Ask - The Smiths

The Adults Are Talking - The Strokes

Forest Hill Three Mile

I keep running. I will keep running. Knees be damned, Ankles be damned. Thighs be damned, be damned, be damned!

It is remarkable how inspiring music can be. It can also un-inspire, I have to be sure to keep it up beat and interesting. Recent tracks, classic, tracks. I wonder if I should try podcasts again, it is irritating when I cannot forward through the ads.

There appears to be a tiny piece of glass in my left foot. Very small,  

Distance: 29:36
Duration: 3:12
Pace: 9:29
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 79°
Climate: hot & bright
Mood: angsty
Stretches: yes
Abdominals: 90 sec
Water: yes

Achievement Unlocked: 180 lbs.

New Goal: 175 lbs.

Things timed out, the boy joined me. Good call. If only I could relieve this head pain.

Just can't win the race.

Every morning I wake exhausted. I've been sleeping in the past three mornings, and yet it is a drag to get out. Am I ill? Am I uninspired? Am I old? 

Distance: 3.25 miles
Duration: 32:09
Pace: 9:53
Route: Boulevard Loop
Temperature: 78°
Climate: sunny & beautiful
Mood: all right
Stretches: yes 
Water: yes

Weight: 181 lbs. (-0-)

Goal: 180 lbs.

Still. Did that.

What's That Lyric

Delirious - Prince

I can deal with falling.

Ok. Ugh. My left ankle began to hurt shortly into my last run. It hurt all day. And the next day. Then my knee again. I don't understand.

This weekend I have also been exhausted. All day Friday, all day Saturday. I have been fortunate in that I can sleep eight, nine, even ten uninterrupted hours.

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 32:31
Pace: 10:29
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 75°
Climate: sunny & bright
Mood: logy
Stretches: yes
Abdominals: 90 sec. (2x)
Water: yes

Weight: 181 lbs. (-1.0)

Goal: 180 lbs.

Friday morning, I dreamed that I was running Monticello, very weary, and I fell asleep. While running. I regained awareness, and I was several blocks down the street, past my usual turning.

Took it easily, very easily. Which was just what I needed. I hope this passes soon.

The Twenties (So Far)

Back to Oz - Sufjan Stevens & Angelo De Augustine

Montero (Call Me By Your Name) - Lil Nas X

Anxiety - Idles

Security - Amyl and the Sniffers

Postman - Toro y Moi

The Only Heartbreaker - Mitski

It Might Be Time - Tame Impala

Trouble's Coming - Royal Blood

Record Player (with AJR) - Daisy the Great 

Glowing in the Dark - Django Django

Many Times - Dijon

And the world, still so wild, called to me.

My knee. Now my thigh. It’s irritating. This happens when I run a lot, I guess. As in 2019, training for Chicago. God, that was a lifetime ago.

What will I do with this lifetime?

Distance: 2.5 miles
Duration: 24:44
Pace: 9:53
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 77°
Climate: sunny & hot
Mood: all right
Stretches: yes
Abdominals: no
Water: yes

Weight: 182 lbs. (-0.5)

Goal: 180 lbs.

What's That Lyric?

Wild - Spoon

Rushing 'cross the forest.

Welcome back. Goodness, has it been four days since I last had a run? Travel will do that. Travel and work and social events. Getting back into life at home. It's still summer, thought, man. There is work, to be sure, but also hot temperatures and visits from friends and alternate plans.

No school, is what I am saying. Not for him, not for them, not for her, and not for me. 

Distance: 3.7 miles
Duration: 37:12
Pace: 9:55
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 74°
Climate: overcast & humid
Mood: good
Stretches: yes
Abdominals: 45 sec.
Water: yes

Weight: 182.5 lbs. (+0.5)

Tell you this, I have got to go to sleep earlier. I was exhausted this morning, so I waited a bit, washed some dishes, until I had the energy.

Also: pavement. Man, what a difference sand makes. It's more challenging to run on sand, but it's also less damaging. My left knee still troubles me, to sit down and stand up. I make sounds like an old man.

Stranger Things 4 (Spring Break 1986 Mixtape) Extended 12"

You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) - Dead Or Alive

Rock Me Amadeus - Falco

Tarzan Boy - Baltimora

Wipe Out - The Surfaris

Psycho Killer - Talking Heads

Diamonds & Emeralds - The Interior Castle

Something About You - Level 42

Burning Up - Donnell Pitman

Ten Tons of Wet - Reno

Pass the Dutchie - Musical Youth

Silent Running (On Dangerous Ground) - Mike & the Mechanics

The eldest and I finished Stranger Things 4, and I have revised the playlist accordingly.

Caroline laughs and it's raining all day.

Tropical Storm Colin is coming. I got a run in, light rain halfway out which abated, then more as I approached the pier, so I came in. Desired to go five miles at least once this week, but ah well.

I need to switch the phone strap to my right arm. I have felt pain in my left hand this week, and now my arm and shoulder. If I weren't phobic about having a coronary I would write it off to the extra exertion caused by this new tight strap.

One way or another, though, it's my last run on Topsail Island this summer.

Distance: 4.1 miles
Duration: 42:38

Pace: 10:26
Route: Asher Island Beach
Temperature: 78°
Climate: darkening clouds w/light rain
Mood: all right
Stretches: yes
Abdominals: 90 sec.
Water: yes

The eldest and I are holding off on the final episodes of Stranger Things 4 (released yesterday) until I return. Today I listened to the playlist I made for them, including songs from the first part of the series plus other tunes which would have been on the radio at the time.

Stranger Things 4 (Spring Break 1986 Mixtape)

California Dreamin' - The Beach Boys

Object of My Desire - Starpoint

Running Up That Hill - Kate Bush

Pretty In Pink - Psychedelic Furs

I Was a Teenage Werewolf - The Cramps

Chica Mejicanita - Andrea Litkei & Ervin Litkei

Play With Me - Extreme

Left of Center - Suzanne Vega ft. Joe Jackson

Detroit Rock City - KISS

American-Soviets - C.C.C.P.

Got Your Number - The Lloyd Langton Group

Fever - The Cramps

God damn right, it's a beautiful day.

The weather was perfect, cloudy, not too hot, and the beaches were clear -- because it was due to rain. I checked in with the boy, he gave me the go-ahead to go ahead.

The plan was to run four, but the rain started pelting my back a but more than a mile and a half down the beach so I headed back, which was fine. But I received an emergency call shortly before I reached the pier and foolish tried to answer it. Not only did I miss the call, but now my phone is waterlogged.

Sigh. 

Distance: 3.15 miles
Duration: 31:36
Pace: 10:06
Route: Ashe Island Beach
Climate: rain
Mood: anxious
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

What's That Lyric?

Goddamn Right, It's A Beautiful Day - Eels

UPDATE: My phone is fine, and so am I.