Did you get off on a bad foot, baby?

Content advisory: Discussion of D's.

D's what? Deez nuts.

Thirty years ago, I would run occasionally. I weighed somewhere between 180 and 190 pounds, still smoked, and would huff my way around the neighborhood dressed in a cotton T-shirt, cut-off sweats, and traditional cotton briefs. No special gear, even the shoes were several years old at this point, and much too small.

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 27:27
Pace: 8:51

I started feeling pain in my lower abdomen and was worried I had developed another hernia. The doctor told me I had a varicose vein in one of my testicles. She found it, manipulated it, held onto it for a bit, all while telling me her diagnosis. It was excruciating. I had to ask her to please let go. She wasn't my doctor for much longer.

So, I started wearing compression pants. It was depressing, and I feared I would have to wear them for the rest of my life, but this was not the case. Maybe a couple years? Can't remember. What I know is this; the condition is exacerbated by a lack of support, so I never wear boxers, and try to find briefs which are just a little too tight. 

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 54°
Climate: beautiful
Mood: getting there

And when I started training for the marathon (ten whole years later) I purchased my first athletic supporter. Ever. I was thirty-seven. Everyone with junk, even a casual runner, should invest in one, early.

I have also found that additional weight can also contribute to this discomfort. This is an additional reason why I obsess about keeping it all under 165. 

1996 Playlist

Ugly Stadium - Tipsy

Star People - George Michael

Shadowboxer - Fiona Apple

Single (Photek Remix) - Everything But the Girl

Backpedal - Queue Up

Soundtrack To Mary - Soul Coughing

Return of the Mack - Mark Morrison

Man. The 1990s. That was wild.

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 165 lbs. (+4.0)

Planks: yes
Push-ups: yes

Sit-Ups: yes

Get it.

Keep on feeling.

Last year the New Yorker wrote a piece on Under Armour, an upstart player arriving late to an already saturated sporting goods market. Like most successful businesses, they have been able to create a need where none previously existed. In this case they made big, athletic men feel like they had to wear extremely tight, stretchy fabric - what previously would have been seen as dancewear.

Without intending to, I have developed a brand loyalty. Every piece I wear is UA, except the handkerchief on my head. Shirt, shorts, socks and now even the shoes. Recently I saw a short I wanted on eBay, but it was a compression shirt. I guess I knew in theory what one of those was like but I was not prepared for what I actually received.

The thing is like a man-bra, or a torso girdle. I have very little to work with in the chest and abdomen, and yet this silly shirt pushes everything into place, it's hilarious. I won't be mistaken for Steve Rogers but at least I look less like Stan Lee.

Temperature: 75°
Distance: 3.36 miles
Avg Pace: 7.44
Climate: overcast and sweaty

The pain in my right thigh remains. Semimembranosus? Semitendenosus? It starts around the quadratus femoris, but it runs a bit down the leg. Sometimes better, sometimes worse, but always present when I run.

Perhaps some compression pants.

Weight: 156.5 lbs.
From goal: -3.5

What's On Daddy's iPhone?
One Life Stand - Hot Chip