All this energy calling me back where it comes from.

Photo: Chuck Thompson

This is how my brain works. We're packed, we're driving. I'm driving. It's hot, and I am wearing shorts, new shorts which I had just purchased, nice new shorts for the vacation. Generally, I avoid shorts when I want people to take me seriously as an adult. I'd just as soon wear jeans than khaki shorts. But it's vacation, and I have learned to calm down, I am an American on the highway and I can wear shorts.

Only the air conditioning is on full blast and I am cool. My arms are cool and my legs are cool. I am thinking these things, as I am driving. We're talk about brain time, these thoughts, from the beginning of the post and through the next paragraphs were thought in the time it took to type "This is how."

My arms are cool, did I pack enough my hoodies, for evenings? Yes, I have, but I know it's going to be hot and I only have two pair of pants, and will that be enough but I also remember I have long pajamas as well as short, and if it does happen to be cool in the morning, I can wear those.

But what about my feet? I have flip flops but not my cold weather slippers, will I regret that? But no, because when I get up in the morning I can come downstairs and keep my feet warm in front of the fire because Dad will have already --

And my eyes well up because I have surprised myself again.

We hadn't even left Cleveland Heights.

Father passed in February. Upon learning of his death, the proprietors of Flood's Cove made the trip to Friendship to pull the chair he would sit in out of storage and place it on the porch in his honor. That was beautiful. It meant a great deal to know it was sitting there for him.

We're all here, Mom, my bother and his family, and even my niece from England, on her own. It's very hot. I have all I need. I am glad we are all here.

Distance: 3 miles
Avg Pace: 8:31
Duration: 25:33
Route: Martin Point
Temperature: 79°
Climate: hot
Mood: good

Yes, It is my birthday. Today I am forty-eight years old. Big first day, much reading and resting but also an excursion to mackerel fish from the motorboat. I manned the boat, the boy did the fishing. In the old days he was content to fish from the dock at high tide, but now we must trawl. He is eleven, he can manage is own line, entirely, and any fish he catches.

I manage the boat. I can manage the boat, but I find it stressful, so much so that I pulled a muscle in my shoulder. Before my birthday dinner we had our first wine hour of the season (our last wine hour was Dad's birthday) and by the time the meal was over I was headachy and very sore.

What to do? Take a run. It was either that or go to bed, right? After two days of driving and all the time not running lately, it was arduous and invigorating. Very glad I went out.

Did not go all the way the end of Martin Point, just far enough to log three miles. It's too darn hot.

My co-workers have made a tradition of going out for ice cream on my birthday ...
... when I'm usually on vacation. Thanks for the photo, guys!

Why Me? Playlist
Save It For Later - The English Beat
The Boys Are Back In Town - Bus Boys
No Way Out - Jefferson Starship
Eyes Of A Stranger - Payola$
Rock of Ages - Def Leppard
Destroyer - The Kinks
Cleveland Rocks - Ian Hunter

Do you remember the shape I was in?

Who is he ... and what is he to you?

Plans fall hard. The boy injured his hip somehow at soccer practice on Friday. No harm, no foul, just drills. Suddenly, he couldn't walk. Took him to the doctor, had an x-ray and everything. Nothing, just a pained hip. He was supposed to play with his rock band yesterday at the Beachland, but the doctor doesn't even want him getting around too much. Made the day a little different.

This morning he and I each got to sleep in while the females went off the her soccer game. The boy with the bad hip, the man with the bad back. Some have asked if I am considering surgery, the answer is no, no thank you, things would have to be considerably worse for me to consider back surgery, we haven't gotten there yet. Who knows, the physical therapist may be correct, I may be able to alleviate this with regular exercises.

However, at the moment ... last night my wife and I took in a rare double feature at the Cedar-Lee. Birdman and The Imitation Game. The last ten minutes of the former irritated me, pretty much all of the latter irritated me, and sitting in a movie chair for four hours was by far most irritating of all. You can only sit straight up with your feet flat on the floor for so long.

However, spending six uninterrupted hours with my wife (we started with dinner at Lopez) was certainly worth every moment.

Temperature: 37°
Distance: 3.5 miles

Running is pain-free. Sun even broke across the skeletal neighborhood trees. The streets are wet, sidewalks choked with crusty snow where it had never been shoveled.

I have a goal to run at least 10 times in January, because any less would be absolutely lame. At this rate, and with the forecast for the week, this is a doable thing.

1972 Playlist
Who Is He? (And What Is He To You?) - Bill Withers
Rock and Roll Pary 2 - Gary Glitter
I'm So Free - Lou Reed
The Ballad of El Goodo - Big Star
Get On The Good Foot - James Brown
I Wanna Be With You - The Raspberries
Hi Hi Hi - Paul McCartney & Wings
Stairway to the Stars - Blue Oyster Cult
Roadrunner - The Modern Lovers

You get nowhere.

So. Ha ha. Yeah.

I have a herniated disc.

After dealing with this lower back pain for a month, I finally saw a doctor. I mean, come on. The holidays and everything else. But I saw her and she saw me, and sent me to a physical therapist who said, yeah. You have a herniated disc.

On Dec. 8, I was in the back yard felling trees and must have harmed myself. It didn't hurt until the next night, but he's pretty sure that's how it happened and I guess I am, too. The physical therapist does not believe it is permanent, that it is something I can take care of with a regular set of exercises which I have been carrying out diligently as prescribed since Wednesday.

And it has helped, though it has not made the pain disappear. But the difference is remarkable, as of Wednesday morning (pre-visit) it felt like I hadn't made any progress at all, and I haven't felt anywhere near that poor since.

So wish me luck. And listen to my wife.

Temperature: 46°
Distance: 2.7 miles

Running in shorts. The breeze was biting, but blimey that was beautiful. Running isn't a problem. Bending over and picking things up is a problem. Today is a good day, though, and I can only hope they will get better.

1971 Playlist
You Shouldn't Do That - Hawkwind
One of These Days - Pink Floyd

Two songs in twenty-two minutes. Those were the days.

Just as fast as my feet can fly.

I can deal with old man jokes. I work with people half my age. I was born when Johnson was President ("What, Andrew Johnson?" Chennelle asked last night over beer at Parnell's, ha ha ha) and tell stories about when everyone smoked and Tremont was cutting-edge.

What I cannot stand, or to put it another way, makes me very unhappy, is when I feel old. Actually feel it. As I was approaching my fortieth, I had blown my left knee, my meniscus was torn, it was swollen and difficult to bend, could not run. Under these specific circumstances, I was not thrilled to receive the inflatable walker. Lucky me, I had the operation, and felt "normal".

A little over a month ago, I did some strenuous yardwork. It made me tied, but I did not feel injured. The next day I participated in a television interview for WVIZ and shortly thereafter felt as tough I had thrown my back out. It still hurts.

It feels better, it feels worse. I thought it would pass, it has not. Driving long distances in my car aggravates my back terribly. Being in a refrigerated school auditorium for a week has complicated the pain, and even today, there it is, deep in my lower back.I have to stoop to pick things up. I have to hold onto something to sit. Getting up I have to bend slowly and stretch.

Every now and then I catch my reflection, and I see the stereotypical old man pose, walking bent, stooped, with a hand or two on my back to stand. Big sigh. And I don't have a sense of humor about it.

Temperature: 16°
Distance:1.75 miles

Running is easy. Standing up is hard.

Much warmer than than last time. No, seriously, every degree is a noticeable difference. Get above twenty degrees, to me it will feel like a crisp, fall day. Especially after all this. The first half-mile feels cold, then it stops. feeling that way. Face is flush, feet are warm. Kids are making chicken wings. Time for supper.

1970 Playlist
Mama Told Me Not To Come - Three Dog Night
The Man Who Sold The World - David Bowie
Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours - Stevie Wonder
Up Around the Bend - Creedence Clearwater Revival
Spill the Wine - War ft. Eric Burdon

The ground beneath my feet.

Okay, running once a week now. Sigh.

Things I find more exciting than running at present:

1. My job.
2. Moving/throwing out furniture in my house.
3. Yardwork.
4. Writing.
5. Getting books that have been sitting in piles for years onto actual bookshelves.
6. Hanging out with the kids.
7. Attending rehearsals for a play I wrote.

The past few days have been delightfully mild, not so much today. But I am relaxed and ready.

Temperature: 46°
Climate: cool and even bright
Distance: 3.25 miles
Weight: 175.5 lbs.

Well. My back. My back has been hurting these past two runs. My back was hurting in my sleep this morning. These are, to me, clear signs that I need to get back up to speed here.

Now to an interesting bit of trivia ... my beard. The wind. The wind actually whistles in my beard. So there's that.

Mute Playlist
Breathe In - Frou Frou
Drunk Girls - LCD Soundsystem
Mansard Roof - Vampire Weekend
Jeepster - T. Rex
Halo - Depeche Mode
Totally Fucked - Spring Awakening Soundtrack
Hurdy Gurdy Man - Donovan
(Keep Feeling) Fascination - Human League

Get busy, child.

For Christmas, my wife got me a very special present; a memory foam mattress. Our king-sized futon had intrenched divots, no matter how you turned it, it was like sleeping in a ditch. My knees, my shins, my back were aching, every night. I could not sleep the night through without waking to take pain reliever.

The new mattress has been very helpful with my legs. The pain there is gone. But not so for my back. My wife believes it is because I do not couple running with upper-body weight training, and about that she is correct. I think so much about doing sit-ups, and working out with weights, that I can make myself believe that I actually have, but it is not true. I need to spend time each evening with the free-weights, at at the very least, stretching.

And so, here were are in January, no less than fifteen pounds overweight, and without the musculature to keep myself from standing and sitting like some kind of old man. I think I can make my way out of this. I hope I can.

Temperature: 36°
Climate: cool & dry
Distance: 3.75 miles

This morning the ex-wife tagged me on this great list, 20 Things No One Tells You About Running from the awesomely titled Shut Up + Run blog. These things are true, with this one exception:

1. Your feet will look like crap. Actually my feet did look bad for a long while, but now I treat them like little princesses and they are pretty and you will love them.

1997 Playlist
Winter Ceremony (Howie B Left Foot Mix) - Sacred Spirit
Turn It On - Sleater-Kinney
Busy Child - The Crystal Method
Piku - Chemical Brothers
Dig Your Own Hole - Chemical Brothers
Paranoid Android (164 bpm) - Radiohead