Thursday, April 25, 2019


God dammit. Visited the gym today, and pulled that muscle in my calf, again. Badly. Not so badly that I couldn't walk, but I am feeling it and I am not happy.

Iced, elevated, etc. I need to get a bandage for it, as we do not currently have anything appropriate in the house. But I need to stay off it for at least a week, and that's me talking, not a PT.

Son of a bitch.

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

I gotta run, run. Yeah.

Life is like a box of timelines. Ya feel me?
When I was a teenager there was this bumper Jeff and Flash would play on WMMS, maybe at 7:00 AM or something, an early morning, upbeat motivational track.

The bumper consisted of little snippets of songs that references waking up, like "woke up ... got out of bed" from A Day In The Life. I can't remember any of the other ones right now.

Except I only recently learned what the first one was, the bit opened with a guy singing, "gotta get up --" and then it was onto the next clip.

It's from Gotta Get Up by Nilsson. It only took three deaths for me to make the connection.

Breakfast: coffee with cream, one egg omelet with a slice of buttered seed toast
Snack: Coffee with cream, cornbread muffin
Lunch: Chips with salsa & queso, soft tacos (two) with grilled chicken & chorizo
Cocktail: Old fashioned
Dinner: mac & cheese, roasted asparagus and carrot with onion and garlic

Ay! El Queso!

Distance: 3.35 miles
Route: Boulevard Loop
Temperature: 51°
Climate: cool!
Mood: all right

Another nighttime run. Didn't think I'd go the whole route, but hey. However, two nights in a row, charging through the neighborhood, now my left knee, left shin, right calf all hurt a little. I walked the last half block. Got to be careful. No injuries. Not just when the weather is getting nice.

1970 Playlist
Gotta Get Up - Harry Nilsson
Strawberry Letter 23 - Shuggie Otis
Roundabout - Yes
Jeepster - T. Rex
"Buy The World a Coke" Commercial
Bitch - The Rolling Stones
I Feel the Earth Move - Carole King

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 179 lbs. (-1.0)
Goal: 175 lbs.

This is challenging. Bouncing into and out of the 180 territory. It's mental. Yesterday I was eating the chips and very consciously eating them and there was a certain "fuck you, I'm gonna eat these" mentality to it, and that's where the danger lies.

Tomorrow will be interesting. I think I will be hungry and I am not looking forward to it.

Sugar is the devil. Don't play with sugar.

Monday, April 22, 2019

I'm a walking disaster.

Tonight, Chennelle, Josh and I met at Christopher's Pub (my new local joint, join me for live music every Friday and Saturday night) to discuss the show. Why, how, and when. Also, who. That is an interesting question.

Where, too. Someone's house? How many nights? Not sure. That's why beer.

So. We have set a date to hear the last version, out loud. Someone else reading, so I can hear it. Then a timetable for writing. This is going to happen now. And that is why I needed to run at nine PM.

Breakfast: coffee with cream, sour cream doughnut
Lunch: ramen with a poached egg
Snack: clementines, chocolate chip cookies (two), beer
Dinner: roasted artichokes with lemon butter, chickpeas with marjoram, fingerling potatoes

Breakfast: coffee with cream, fried egg sandwich with cheese
Snack: “ants on a log”, coffee with cream, two Twizzlers, hummus & crackers (3), beer
Dinner: lamb, asparagus, cauliflower & farro, salad with strawberries, potatoes & peas
Dessert: ice cream & cookies

Sunday, a holiday, I went a bit overboard. Yes, dessert. Yes, some (not much) of the sugar that came our way because Easter Bunny. But having some just makes me want more.

Breakfast: coffee with cream, 1 cup raisin bran with 2% milk, add'l raisins, dried cranberries, salted almonds & banana
Snack: coffee with cream
Lunch: grilled cheese, tomato & tortellini soup (cup), small brownie
Snack: tea w/ sugar & cream, cinnamon butter crackers, salted almonds, raisins and pear slices
Beer: beer
Dinner: tomatoes and chickpeas over rice

Distance: 3.35 miles
Route: Boulevard Loop
Temperature: 58°
Climate: cool and dark
Mood: better

Brisk, cool spring run. First nighttime outdoor run, like this, in shorts and short sleeves, in how long? Something else. Few people on a Monday night, lots of critters. Two dog walkers, two skunks. What's the difference, really?

1981 Playlist
Apache - The Sugarhill Gang
Rehumanize Yourself - The Police
Demolition Man - Grace Jones
The Jam Was Moving - Deborah Harry
My Own Way (Noght Version - Duran Duran
Primary - The Cure
Upstairs * - Sparks

It was a good day, but painful. A lot of sitting, I felt it in my rear and in my hip. I wanted to run. That is why I ran. Also, training. Also, spring.

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 180 lbs. (+0.5)
New Goal: 175 lbs.

This will take more concentration and dedication. I feel fine -- until I am not. Being hungry also makes me tired, unhappy, irritable. Today was good, I hope tomorrow will also be. But I must remain diligent. Strong. Dedicated.

Friday, April 19, 2019

Blessed with a bucket of lucky mobility.

Maintaining, big time. Hungry all the time, sometimes weak. But look at what I am eating! It's food stuff, and not in tiny portions. It takes a while to get used to this.

The morning has been wet and cool. And yet, I choose to go outside, because I can. It is Good Friday, and I have time, energy or if not energy, then interest. Enthusiasm. Hope.

Breakfast: coffee with cream, 1 cup raisin bran with 2% milk, add'l raisins, dried cranberries, salted almonds
Snack: more coffee|
Lunch: meatless lasagna (modest portion), spinach salad with cheese, grapes, dried cranberries\
Snack: pink lady apple
Cocktail: Old fashioned
Dinner: Variety of Indian cuisine (nan, paneer, ghobi, condiments, etc.)

Breakfast: coffee with cream, 1 cup raisin bran with 2% milk, add'l raisins, dried cranberries, salted almonds & banana
Lunch: Indian leftovers (modest portion) see above
Beverage: cold coffee with Bailey's
Treat: Chocolate chip cookie (two) with 2% milk - I MADE THESE
Beverage: beer
Dinner: tuna noddle casserole, mixed vegetables in butter

Distance: 3.2 miles
Duration: 27:21
Pace: 8:33
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 45°
Climate: very light rain, cool but humid
Mood: all right

Man. Sweaty. Hard run, but good. Really good. Light rain, few puddles. Just perfect.

1991 Playlist
Give It Away - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Radio Song - R.E.M. ft. KRS-One
Jeremiah Blues - Sting
Why Should I Cry For You - Sting
All This Time - Sting
Real Real Real (The Real Pop Mix) - Jesus Jones
International Bright Young Thing - Jesus Jones

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 179 lbs. (-1.5)
Goal: 180 lbs. Achievement Unlocked

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

We'll run away together.

We keep control, in all things. Very good day with my new therapist, we are putting some plans in place. I am going to use systems to limit my screen time. Suddenly I have ramped up submissions. I do not think that is a coincidence.

2001 Playlist
Island In the Sun - Weezer
Packt Like Sardines In a Crushd Tin Box - Radiohead
19-2000 (Soulchild Remix)  - Gorillaz
Bird Watching at Inner Forest - Cornelius
Weapon of Choice - Fatboy Slim
This Charming Man - Stars

Cigarettes &Chocolate Milk (Reprise) - Rufus Wainwright

That was amazing. I felt amazing. That pace is real, yo. I was blazing. Chris and I ran a good loop, talked about good thing, good things for both of us.

That playlist is off the chain, tho. Makes a difference.

Distance: 4.85 miles
Pace: 8:56
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 68°
Climate: warm & wonderful
Mood: good!

Breakfast: coffee with cream, 1 cup raisin bran with 2% milk, add'l raisins, dried cranberries, banana, salted almonds
Snack: coffee with cream
Lunch: Shrimp sushi roll, diet soda
Snack: Seasoned almonds with dried cranberries
Dinner: Chicken Caesar, beer (one)

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 180.5 lbs. (-0.5)
Goal: 180 lbs.

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

I will shrink and I will disappear.

It was my intention to be fighting weight by the time we entered rehearsals for King Lear at the end of this month, and who knows? While I may not shed twenty pounds by then, I may in fact shed ten. How much of what I am carrying is fat, how much water, how much rotten food?

Yesterday was one of concentrated not eating. Not grabbing a handful of whatever, cookies at the office, nuts at home, chips as the corner store. None of the snacks sitting bagged at the end of the counter, I should throw those out, no one needs those. None of us.

Distance: 1 mile
Route: Rec Center
Mood: decent

Breakfast: coffee with cream, rice with soy sauce, banana
Lunch: Two soft tacos (shredded chicken, ground beef, fillings), chips with salsa & queso
Snack: Beer
Dinner: Cheesy tuna noodle casserole (with peas, mushrooms), wine

Brief run at the rec center, much to do today, and yesterday took a lot out of me with the sudden drop in caloric intake. Did you see my diet yesterday? That was half of the calories I usually consume, and you will notice it was still high in fat, salt, and sugar.

So, brisk run to take me on my way. I didn't like the music of 2011 much, anyway.

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 181 lbs. (-3.0)
Goal: 180 lbs.

That's not three pounds lost weight. That's three pounds I did not eat yesterday.

2011 Playlist
Somebody That I Used to Know - Gotye
Lotus Flower (Jacques Greene Rmx) - Radiohead

If I gain weight tomorrow, it's because of Taco Tuesday and it's totally Jeremy's fault.

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Monday, April 15, 2019

So good to me.

Good Lord, what a mess. It's been a busy week, with many appointments, commitments, social gatherings, productions, responsibilities, and on and on. Waking every morning early to read an entire play (that's a thing I do in April) then onto work -- which should lighten up a bit, as our spring production just closed.

Still. The girl had a cast party for her high school production at our house, which was fine. Even the scaffolding and odd piles of masonry placed about the yard (as we have our chimney and other point work redone) did not prevent us from having a fire in the backyard ... but it left us with bottles of soda, bags of snacks and a lot of leftover pizza.

I'd like to say that yesterday was the only day I consumed three or more time my daily allotment of calories. I neglect to pack my lunch and end up buying something highly caloric, then there are the social meetings in bars and restaurants, two of those this weekend. Also, more than my normal share of drinking. And ice cream. Ice cream? Yes, somehow I feel justified in just stopping somewhere to get an ice cream cone.

So, what's it going to be? Four years ago I had a pre-diabetic scare and brought my weight to a reasonable 155. Now I am wearing stretchy jeans and even bought a new, huge belt. This is not good for my frame. It doesn't work. I cannot maintain this. I have got to deal with being a little hungry and choosing better food to eat.

Distance: 2 miles
Route: Rec Center
Mood: all right
Exercises: yes

So, its been a week and my calf is fine. Kinks here and there, in my ankle, my knee, these came and went. I think I'm okay. That was a pain. Also, the weather can't decide what it wants to be -- which sucks because guys started working on the house on Saturday and I don't know when the fuck they'll be back. This afternoon, cross my fingers.

Anyway, here's the scoop. More reporting on my diet -- which only works if I run often enough that this blog doesn't become just a menu.

Breakfast: coffee with cream, rice with soy sauce.
Mid-morning: More coffee with cream.
Lunch: Meatless lasagna (modest portion), salad, satsuma.
Snack: Small dish of almonds & dried cranberries. And one beer.
Dinner: Fried pierogies with sauerkraut, applesauce & sauteed onions, roasted broccoli and cauliflower with Parmesan. Also, one chocolate chip cookie (which I made.) 

1966 Playlist
I'm a Believer - The Monkees
Pushin' Too Hard - The Seeds
Monday, Monday - The Mamas & The Papas
And Your Bird Can Sing- The Beatles
The Big Bright Green Pleasure Machine - Simon & Garfunkel
Sometimes Good Guys Don't Wear White - The Standells
You Keep Me Hangin' On - The Supremes
Wack Wack - Young-Holt Trio
She Said She Said - The Beatles
Function at the Junction - Shorty Long

Bus Stop - The Hollies

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 184 lbs. (+3.0)
New Goal: 180 lbs.

That's right. Now I just want to be below 180. Jesus.

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Monday, April 08, 2019

Lots of places to run to.

Ah, fuck. First beautiful spring day, I headed out for run with Chris through the park, and I pulled my left calf. I mean, I had to walk for a while, but I was running, and running well, with mild pain, by the end. So we'll see. For now, pain reliever and a brace.

Distance: 4.6 miles
Duration: 43:50
Pace: 9:31
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 64°
Climate: light fluffy clouds
Mood: good, except for the pain

1976 Playlist
American Girl - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
More, More, More - Andre True
Teenage Depression - Eddie & The Hot Rods
Play That Funky Music - Wild Cherry
Take the Money and Run - Steve Miller Band
Tvc 15 - David Bowie
Gonna Fly Now (Theme From "Rocky") - Bill Conti
Beat on the Brat - The Ramones

I mean. You have to run to the "Rocky" theme.

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 181 lbs. (-1.5)
Goal: 175 lbs.

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Wednesday, April 03, 2019

You can walk, or you can run.

Last week I posted something on my other blog how Nineteen Eighty-Six is not the worst year in popular music, and you should read that.

I would have dedicated today's playlist to the "Hot Side" of the Wham" sawn song Music From the Edge of Heaven, but after the (nearly) eponymous title track "Edge of Heaven" and the quirky "Battlestations" we are left with some truly horrid and warmed over remixes of "I'm Your Man" and "Wham Rap '86."

The stuttering repeat thing was big in 1985/86, and really, really awful. Practically destroyed Annie Lennox for me.

Ensemble Theatre presents the World Premiere of "The Way I Danced With You," through April 7, 2019.

Distance: 3 miles
Route: Rec Center
Mood: better
Exercises: no

Three miles, one brief stop for water. No walking. I am gaining strength and stamina. This is working.

1986 Playlist
American Soviets - C.C.C.P.
Brand New Lover - Dead Or Alive
Dear God - XTC
Graceland - Paul Simon
State of the Nation - New Order
Dreamworld - Midnight Oil

Wild Wild Life (Extened Mix) - Talking Heads

The eating is a problem. Going to the fucking grocery store is a problem. Yes! We will not get a family size bag of Doritos, but we do need crackers, so I will get these Cheez-Its! Seriously? Cheez-Its are not crackers and should not be in the cracker aisle but should be placed next to the chips and ice cream and deep fried Oreos.

I ate half a box before getting home. This is what happens when I visit the new Dave's on Chester.

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 182.5 lbs. (+1.0)
Goal: 175 lbs.


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Monday, April 01, 2019

So there we both were in that little house.

Recently Albumbism held a readers poll and Walking Wounded was declared the best Everything But the Girl album of all time. I would have said Amplified Heart, but no one really has favorites among children.

Distance: 3.5 miles
Duration: 33 minutes
Route: Rec Center
Mood: decent
Exercises: No.

Nineteen Ninety-Six was the year of settling in. My new girlfriend had moved to Cleveland and we were childless and animated. Everything But the Girl has played Cleveland exactly once and we were there, at the Odeon in the Flats. We stayed behind after to meet the band. God they were lovely and I wanted to take them home with us.

1996 Playlist - or - "Walking Wounded" by Everything But the Girl
Before Today (Adam F Remix)
Walking Wounded
Big Deal

Brisk run, quick breaks for water. Ran out the (abridged) album. Feel good, running fast. I still hurt, perhaps I always will hurt. But can I maintain, can I ignore, can I concentrate on what is relevant? Breathe, be here now. There will always be pain. Stand tall. Accept.

I have started reading Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind. Yes, I may follow this path.

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 181.5 lbs. (-0-)
Goal: 175 lbs.

Visit my Team Challenge Crohn's & Colitis page and support my bid for the Chicago Marathon!