Leaving me here on my own.

The days are full and occupied. I have something of a groove? The running, yes. And the writing, journaling mostly, but there's also the reading. Turning old ideas around in my head, trying to see something new, to interpret a classic story through a modern lens.

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 27:42
Pace: 8:55 

Putting things away, throwing things away, selling them on eBay. Yesterday, I adjudicated the annual Shakespeare competition at a local independent school. That went well. Making phone calls, trying to learn new things about potential candidates.  

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 61°
Climate: beautiful
Mood: good!

"Can one confide oneself to somebody of whom one knows nothing but how his laugh sounds."

- "Metropolis" by Thea von Harbou

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 165 lbs. (-0-)

Stayed up a bit too late last night, the kid came home from the studio and we sat up, just hanging out on the deck. Then Tiger wanted some 2:00 AM attention. Anyway, I didn't think I'd be up for a run this morning. But I am.

Planks: yes
Push-ups: yes

Sit-Ups: yes

What's That Lyric?

Cruel Summer - Bananarama

I need to choose what I am going to run to the night before. It is stressful trying to choose right before I step out. Not like big stress, but it brings me down. And it's not necessary.

Saturday run? High school music. I think.

So sick of having sleepless nights.

David Finch

Daily life is dizzying. Glad to be well again. A week feeling poor, my sore throat finally abated entirely by Sunday. Last night I came home from work just feeling tired. Not ill, not weak, just sleepy. I had a short night, making dinner for all, then getting in bed by eight. Why not? I thought of those times I had too much to do and felt despair (yes! despair!) knowing how long it would be before I could rest, and how much little rest I would get.

That did not prevent me from waking up at four and taking an hour to get back to sleep ... for another twenty minutes.

I have been having dreams about looking at my phone. That should be a sign. I had posted a video of a fire that had accidentally started in a scene shop at a local theater and then realized I probably shouldn't post that and wandered around trying to get it deleted from all the different social media sites, meanwhile, all around me, the Human League performed a house concert in my kitchen, and a troupe of African dancers were rehearsing in the hallway.

Beautiful art and music was happening all around me, and I was focused on my phone.

Distance: 3 miles

Duration: 26:31

Back to the gym. The elder and I discuss when we will run together, and when we will run apart. We are making plans.

Route: rec center
Temperature: 34°
Climate: damp & cold
Mood: adjusting

1971 Playlist

Pictures of Lily - The Who

Strawberry Letter 23 - Shuggie Otis

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised - Gil Scott Heron

Theme from “Shaft” - Isaac Hayes

Can You Get to That - Funkadelic

Alone Again (Naturally) -  Gilbert O’Sullivan

Jeepster - T. Rex

Peace Train - Yusuf/Cat Stevens

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 160 lbs. (-0-)

Last indoor run for a while? Fingers crossed.

Planks: yes
Push-ups: yes

Sit-Ups: yes

Our bodies displayed through the dance.

Fourteen runs in September, best since June. Time was, I would get into these bursts where I'd run every day, like I was in training or something, and it would get to me. That was doing all this running -- every single day -- but not for any reason. Just to rack up runs.

Running every other day just feels normal. A day off feels good, but so does running again, after a day's rest. 

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 28:01
Pace: 9:02

DID YOU KNOW ..? Infatuation is an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something.

Life In a Spanish Disco
Let the Music Play (Remix) - Shannon

Blue Light - David Gilmour

Infatuation - Rod Stewart

To France - Mike Oldfield

Ghostbusters - Ray Parker Jr.

Relax (New York Mix) - Frankie Goes to Hollywood

One of my Lugo compatriots just recently posted photos from a return trip, forty-one years later. They mentioned the playlist, I am glad to put this together, back in 2009 (it was a twenty-fifth anniversary inspiration) because I'm not sure I would remember them all now.

I always wondered if we would have a reunion but I don't believe that is in the stars. Goodness, we were all so very very young then. 

Route: Forest Hill Loop

Temperature: 57° 
Climate: clear & cool
Mood: good

Stretches: yes 
Water: yes
Weight: 160 lbs.

Planks: TBA
Push-ups: TBA

Sit-Ups: TBA

Own heart beating.

Exhausting myself this week. Long days, long nights, and the heat. I don't like to complain about heat, I much prefer it to the cold. It truly has had an effect upon me. 

I really should never go out after Dark Room. Socializing is fun, but going to bed at midnight is no longer a practical option for me, not ever. Bed by ten is ideal. But not on Tuesday. Nor on Wednesday. Nor on Thursday, or Friday. Not this week. 

And yet, I run.

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 29:15
Pace: 9:25

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 72°
Climate: sunny & bright
Mood: bit angsty

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 163 lbs. (+1.0)

Man bytes dog.

Much of the current weight fluctuation relates to circumstance. Went to a ball game last night. We are also going to be eating out tonight -- and another ball game tomorrow night. It's a lot.

Planks: yes
Pushups: yes

155-164 BPM Playlist

Make Your Move - Kenny Loggins

Beat On the Brat - The Ramones

The Long Hair of Death - Stereolab

No Love Lost - LCD Soundsystem

Don't Fence Me In (The Bachelor Remix) - David Byrne

Leaving Las Vegas - Sheryl Crow

Thank You For Hearing Me - Sinéad O'Connor

Maybe that's the real punk rock.

What was on Clark Kent's iPod?

Yes, I respect James Gunn for geeking out and making playlists for each of his major characters in the new Superman movie. I do the same thing. Of course, by posting them on Spotify, he's also promoting the product. I do the same thing.

That this new movie includes a conversation about pop music made me very happy. Even better, they don't name check real bands, but the names of fiction bands which evoke the name of other real bands, and the fact that you know just what kind of bands they are talking about is very, very fun.

Because according to this film, Clark Kent was born in 1995. He was an adolescent in the late aughts. And like many of us, his taste hasn't changed since we were thirteen.  An Clark Kent is a dork. And we love him. 

Superman Playlist

Punkrocker - Teddybears ft. Iggy Pop

The Mighty Crabjoys Theme - The Mighty Crabjoys

The Middle (162 BPM) - Jimmy Eat World

Dear Maria, Count Me In - All Time Low

Shake It Out - Florence + The Machine

For Nancy ('Cos It Already Is) - Pete Yorn

I'm Not Down - The Clash

You Get What You Give - New Radicals

Don't Stop Believin' - Journey

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 29:53
Pace: 9:38

Headachy morning. Still, nice run. Going to take a few days off now, for several reasons. One, the festival impends, and I would just as soon reserve my strength. Two, I'd like to rest my shins. Even my left shin had pain earlier this morning. Three, I am packing my gear to go with everyone by car to Maine. I'm flying out Sunday early.

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 75°
Climate: overcast
Mood: okay (head pain)
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Weight: 160 lbs.

"See you in the cove."

Take a step now.

Grateful thanks, Q.

Lying awake, fretting about the world, is I thing I do not like to do. And since the election, I have literally been drugging myself. The sertraline has its own soporific effects. occasionally I take melatonin. During the lockdown I took melatonin a lot, way too much. Even now if I have it more than one night in a row it makes the mornings very challenging.

Then there's the cannabis. There's this hybrid I picked up in Maine that just knocks me out. But that's the thing, it just knocks me out. I can watch a movie or read, I just want to go to sleep. There are other strains for that kind of activity, and I sleep well then, too.

But. Can I just sleep? Like, just have normal uninduced rest? And if so, when?

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 28:57
Pace: 9:20

I actually wrote that a few days ago, and have experimented with uninduced sleep the past two nights, and they have been successful. I just rest. Long days, active days, followed by rest. Avoiding the socials has been a great help. Breaking bad habits. I don't feel I am missing anything.

Quincy Jones Playlist

Soul Bossa Nova (156 BPM)

Love Is in Control (Finger on the Trigger) - Donna Summer

Theme from "Sanford & Son"

Come Together - Brothers Johnson

Billie Jean - Michael Jackson

I Can't Help It - Michael Jackson

I'll Be Good to You - Ray Charles & Chaka Khan

Give Me the Night - George Benson

Thanks, Mr. Jones! That was a brisk and joy filled run.

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 51°
Climate: nice & cool
Mood: good
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Pain Reliever: TBD

For the record, I am holding fast at 170 lbs. I am not trying to "diet" I am simply being mindful, as they say. Recording the intake in Noom. Learning about the calories, the good, the bad, and the empty.  

Just take me with you.

The heat settles in, makes it difficult to sleep. Windows open, fans on. She tells me the temperature on the boat should be in the sixties, we are preparing for that. Tomorrow we will  be in New York, and the weather will be much the same as it is here, hot! 

Distance: 1 miles
Duration: 8:32

Whose idea was it to take the big boat? I think it was ours but she's done all the planning. She likes to do the planning (no, really) just like my mom. I have learned to pack more than I need. I want to look good for her.

1984 Playlist  

Take Me With U - Prince & The Revolution
Talking in Your Sleep - New Romantics

Tenderness - General Public

Two more runs before the end of the year playlists for 2024. Huh. Getting them all in before June. Not a record, but nothing to be ashamed of.

Route: Neighborhood Loop
Temperature: 71°
Climate: sunny & nice
Mood: good
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Little stiff today. Drank so much water last night. Those thoughts aren't related.

Upper body: 

Core Strength: 

I tried running every day in March and crashed. I have now run as many times as I did in March, and I feel good. Weather makes a big difference. And a full night's sleep.

Baseline: 185 lbs.
Weight: 176 lbs. (-2.0)

Goal: 175 lbs.

Breakfast: coffee w/cream, cannoli (1)

Lunch: sushi & salad

Happy House: Arnold Palmer, turtle (1)

Dinner: spaghetti w/meat sauce, roasted vegetables, beer

Some people stop at nothing.

Thursday of a four-day week. Yes, we got eight hours of rest last night, good rest, without assistance. And this AM we woke a little later (5:30 AM) and had a briefer than usual writing period. Because we need to type up the script. And the mosquitos.

Also, a shorter run is in order. To keep going. To not hurt myself.

Distance: 1 mile

Duration: 9:30

Route: Haselton Loop 

Temperature: 69°
Climate: cool but humid

Mood: good

Hey! This day gets worse and worse. Maintain. Focus.

 
Stretches: yes

Sit-Ups: 20

Water: yes? I think?

Breakfast: coffee w/cream, fresh fruit w/granola & yogurt

Treat" "fruit snacks"

Lunch: fruit smoothie bowl w/PB & chocolate granola & nutella

Dinner: beanie weenies, slaw, tortilla

Dessert: ice cream, two cookies

Alcohol? 

Baseline: 195 lbs.

Current: 172 lbs. (+1.0)

Goal: 165 lbs.

How about no candy bars? How about that?

Writing: 10 min.

Blog: "needle drop"

A little sophisti-pop this morning.

What's That Lyric?

Breakout - Swing Out Sister

An endless path unbroken.

Took the boy and his friends to see THE IDLES last night.

Sleep is important. Glad my head doesn't hurt today. Still, great concert.

Tonight is PANDEMONIUM. I plan to be at home and in bed before the party is over. Because I can't deal anymore.

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 31:04
Pace: 10:01
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 75°
Climate: overcast & muggy
Mood: all right
Stretches: yes
Abdominals:
Water: yes

Weight: 181.5 lbs. (-0-)

Goal: 180 lbs.

Ugh. Heat, light, humidity. And not enough good sleep. These things are relevant.

What's That Lyric?

Let Me Go - Heaven 17

My heart is that much harder now.

Residency rehearsal period. In the past, it has been a time of marathon training. Or a time when I do not run at all. These days, it is a time of good, of feeling good, and free. For I rise earlier every other day, to write and then run, and that is good. Every other day I rise later, to write and then to read my homework. So responsible! So pleasurable!

Coming soon. (get it?)

Distance: 3.25 miles
Duration: 32:11
Pace: 9:54
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 59°
Climate: cool
Mood: good
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Weight: 181.5 lbs. (-0-)

Goal: 180 lbs.

Yes, stretches. Much cooler today, so it is that much more important. I feel much stiffer than I did when weather was in the 70s and 80s. 

But fifty-nine degrees is the perfect weather in which to run! So, stretch, drink ... I would like to resume abdominals (and upper body work) as I no longer worry it will add pressure to my eye.

What's That Lyric?

Before Today - Everything But the Girl

Last night I got nearly eight hours, what what a night! I felt like I slept for years, natural sleep, natural dreams. Lots of dreams, great adventures, alligators and and stairs and hallways. And I think my entire family was there!

Get out my way.

This week I was moved (for some reason) to revisit the video from And Then You Die at Cleveland Public Theater. Man, some of that was pretty damn funny.

Residencies rehearsal began this week. I haven't bonked yet, but I will. I mean, become lost and tired and confused. I guess I have been that way for some time now, so I can't tell the difference.

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 30:52
Pace: 9:57
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 66°
Climate: nice, also humid
Mood: good
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Weight: 812.5 lbs. (-1.0)

Goal: 180 lbs.

So far (cross fingers) not running consecutive days has minimized the kind of kinks and pains that have troubled me through the spring and early summer. In my ankle, in my knees. We shall see how it continues. There is an inspiration to run every day, and a fear of missing a day, which is a kind of mania. Mindfulness. We're all talking about mindfulness.

Erotic80s Playlist

Curated by "You Must Remember This" podcast

Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money) - Pet Shop Boys

Girls On Film - Duran Duran

Aeiou Sometimes Y - Ebn-Ozn

Erotica - Madonna

Eighties - Killing Joke

Sex (I'm A ...) - Berlin

I Love Rock and Roll - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts

Death of Butterfly (Tu Tu Piccolo) - Malcolm McLaren

Fraying at the seams every mile that I run.

Ten hours of sleep, I think. It's what I need. It's not what I have been getting, generally, though last night I did, more or less. I was awake. I've been laying off the melatonin. It just makes the morning difficult.

It's been so cool the past week, and I am grateful for that after severeal days in the eighties. I like the hot weather but it had a bad effect on my energy just then. 

Anyway if we're going to do this.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Duration: 31:18
Pace: 9:38
Route: Boulevard Loop
Temperature: 60°
Climate: sunny & nice
Mood: holding a grudge

Stretches: yes

Abdominals: 30 sec. (3x) 

Water: yes
Weight: 186 lbs. (-0-)

Goal: 185 lbs.  

Ten hours, and the breathing is easy, the legs are strong. We took the route which includes a steady incline (or two) and it went very, very well. I feel great, physically. Emotionally, not so much. Better, stronger, but not good.

Intake (Tuesday)

Breakfast: pasta salad (1C), coffee (2x) 

Lunch: Buffalo chicken salad wrap (half), chips

Happy Hour: beer

Dinner: popcorn, cocktail

2017 Playlist

Boogie - Brockhampton

Green Light - Lorde

Lucky Penny - JD McPherson

We Got the Power - Gorillaz ft. Johnny Beth

We Could Run - Beth Ditto

Want You Backi - HAIM

This Is Me (Dave Aude Remix) - Keala Settle & ensemble from "The Greatest Showman"

Drew Barrymore - SZA

On Hold - The xx

May I Have This Dance (Remix) - Francis & The Lights ft. Chance the Rapper 

You got me runnin' ... and there's no funnin' it.

Yes, I thought of running this morning, but I went back to sleep in stead (after writing). I think that was the right call. I was just tired.

Tonight wasn't a great run, feeling a little weary. I have been consuming way too many sugars these past several days. Halloween candy has already appeared in my life, and I have been breakfasting, and snacking at rehearsal. It's all too much.

Today I tried to get it back under control. I did such a good job, losing weight slowly over the summer.

But hey, I got a mid-week run in. More of those, please.

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 29:05
Pace: 9:22
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 68°
Climate: cloudy & cooler
Mood: all right
Weight: 175.5 lbs. (+3.0)

Intake

Breakfast: Salted caramel pretzel Pop Tarts (damn you, Avery), coffee (3x)

Lunch: monte cristo, notso fries

Snack: grapes, coffee, beer

Dinner: TBA

What's That Lyric?

What You're Doing - The Beatles

Mystic bohem.

"Dune" board game (1984)
Happy birthday, Sting.

I feel sleepy. But I must run on weekends. Also, I need to write. So first I must run. Yes? Yes. Okay.

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 28:10
Pace: 9:04
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 66°
Climate: sunny & perfect
Mood: good?
Weight: 174.5 lbs. (-0-)

Teenage Kicks - The Current

Genius of Love - Tom Tom Club

Electricity - Orchestral Manoeuvers In the Dark

Toom Much Information - The Police

Right Here Right Now - Jesus Jones

Buffalo Soldier - Bob Marley & the Wailers

Roxanne - The Police

Intake

Breakfast: coffee (2x)

Lunch: Mexican ramen, chocolate covered almonds (5)

Snack: dish of Cheetos, pretzels

Dinner: small vegetarian tacos (2), cookies (2)

Treat: Corn muffin w/butter

Also: fizzy water (1x)

The pounding of my heart, it beats so strong.

Last night was wonderful and horrible. The girl was receiving a corporate-sponsored scholarship, one she had applied and interviewed for. She received cash, prizes, was celebrated for all her hard work. And she has done such hard work.

By the end of the event she was finding it hard to breathe. The caterer had included an unusual ingredient in the pesto - peanuts. Peanuts do not belong in pesto. Pine nuts and often other tree nuts can go into pesto, not peanuts. And there was no allergy warning, no indication of this special, secret ingredient.

I remember those parents who would make a stink that their children couldn't bring peanut butter to school, or didn't impress upon their children to wash their grubby little mitts before visiting their friends at the nut-free table. Join me in the emergency room after my daughter has jabbed herself with her epi-pen on the white-knuckled drive.

She's fine. She leaves for university in a few months. I am nervous and afraid, and so is she.

Distance: 3.5 miles
Duration: 34:28
Pace: 9:51
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 54°
Climate: sunny & cool
Mood: okay
Weight: 185 lbs. (-1.0)

Four days of running in a row. Cooler today. Chose not to write morning pages, instead to do housework, make lunches, breakfast, for the family, all of whom slept late. I got five and a half hours of sleep last night, and that was more than anyone.

Intake:
Breakfast: cream of wheat (1c), with raisins, alomonds, butter & cream, coffee (2x)

Snack: carrot sticks
Lunch: noodle salad & green soup

Snack: apple
Dinner: pasta & sauce w/steamed brocolli & cauliflower, butter

Also, beer (1x), fizzy water (2x)

Let's try breakfast. Somestimes fasting keeps me from being hungry. Isn't that weird? But this morning I made cream of wheat, so. And I have lost five pounds since we began.

UPDATE: Around 10:30 AM, I am hungry again. This is what I am talking about. 

1984 Playlist

Take Me With U - Prince & the Revolution

Locomotion - OMD

You Take Me Up - Thompson Twins

Tenderness - General Public

Erotic City - Prince

Legs - ZZ Top

I Want You Back - The HoodooGurus

It's My Life - Talk Talk

Don't Let Go - Wang Chung

Eucch. These almonds are two years out of date. Picked thme up at a race sometime.

2019 Bay Days 5 Mile Run

Three years ago I said I would never run the Bay Village 5 Mile again. And yet, here we are.

We're in training, and looking for some races, so why not? I was tired of running a community race alone, but this time I brought some folks with me; Chris, Allie ... the girl was going to join us, but she pulled something during soccer conditioning yesterday, her coach told her not to work on it for the time being.

But she did some to cheer us on -- and so did Chennelle! They were waiting for us around mile four.

Allie ran her own race, but Chris and I stuck together. It was hot, from mid to upper seventies by the time we were through. There were a couple of walking stretches but we made it home feeling good.

After we all had breakfast at Bob Evans, which will remain the go-to post-Bay run breakfast spot until someone can tell me where I'm supposed to be going in that part of town, because I can't be bothered to find out.

45th Annual Bay Days Run
Start: 8:30 am
Official time: 48:34.47
Place in division: 13
Place overall: 205
Pace: 09:43

Previous Best: 36:16 (Bay Village 2013)

For the record, I did not go to the gym yesterday. I slept almost eight hours that night, and good for me. But I rose and though, yeah, I could use more of that, so I did. Besides, the girl needed to car to go to conditioning and I figured, why fight it? So I slept.

And good for me.

Put a wiggle in your stride.

shame (SHām)
n. 1. a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.
synonyms: humiliation, mortification, chagrin, ignominy, embarrassment, indignity, discomfort
v. 1. (of a person, action, or situation) make (someone) feel ashamed. 

1988 Playlist
Do You Believe in Shame - Duran Duran
Not Alone Any More - Traveling Wilburys
Mr. Jones - Talking Heads
Touch Me I'm Sick - Mudhoney
All She Wants Is (U.S. Master Mix) - Duran Duran
Baladi We Hetta Hossam Ramzy

Big Thing is the most underrated of Duran Duran albums.

However, it is a terrible album for someone depressed, alone, and between girlfriends. Or its the perfect album. Not sure.

Also, Naked is not Talking Heads' last studio album. True Stories is Talking Heads' last studio album, Naked is most obviously David Byrne's first solo album. I can't be the first person to say this.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Pace: 8:15
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 35°
Climate: sunny, beautiful & above freezing!
Pavement: dry
Mood: troubled

Brisk run, good one. I feel pain down both legs, there's a new string that hurts in my right calf. But heading out was totally fine, took what felt like forever, though. Probably because I have had little sleep this week, rising at five every morning to read. Thank God it's Friday.

Stretches: yes

Very painful stretches this morning, which means I have probably been doing them wrong.

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 164.5 lbs. (-2.0)
Goal: 160 lbs.

Ok.

Down the street.

Donald Trump has a very strange theory about exercise
by Chris Cizzilli, CNN.com, 5/15/2017

When I first started running, when I was twelve or thirteen, I had a theory about exercise, which was this.

You only have so much energy.

I knew this because in my personal experience, when I would run, for example, I would get tired. I could run maybe a mile, and then I would have to walk. I knew that there were athletes who could run for miles and miles, but I was not one of them. I would not be able to do that. I did not have a body for exercise.

This is what our seventy year-old president believes, that the human body is an un-rechargeable battery, that you only have so many heartbeats before you die.

It's not a "strange" theory, Mr. Cizzilli. It's an ignorant child's theory.

Distance: 1 mile
Route: Monticello Track

The wife and I have begun a series of meditation. Meditation has never come easily to me, but then that's like saying yoga doesn't work for me because I am not limber. Punchline: That's why you do yoga.

Okay not much of a punchline but it is a reason. Meditate though it is difficult because that is how you learn to meditate. Which is simple, but hard. Just breathe. Only breathe. Realize your mind has wandered again, remind yourself that's okay, and focus on your breathing. Until the next time.

There's more to it than that. But not much more.

Temperature: 61°
Climate: overcast and cool
Mood: welcoming (I think)

Overcast beginning to the week, perfect weather for running, also what they call "sleeping weather." I have had a difficult spring for sleep, until just recently. Night sounds wake me, and keep me awake and fretful. That was until I started suing earplugs on a regular basis. I used them when the wife was pregnant (and snored much more) and they were successful then and they seem to be successful now.

Except last night, when I dreamed I was bitten by a small, pale, venomous snake. That woke me and kept me awake for a bit. But in general, I have been sleeping more fitfully.

Having said that, I have still been remarkably tired during the day. Weary at various periods. Saturday was ridiculous,  worked in the garden for twenty minutes and I was practically shaking with exhaustion. She wants me to call the doctor. I would prefer a regular eight hours rest a night, and who knows? This summer I may just get it.

Baseline: 174 lbs.
Today: 170.5 lbs. (-1.0)
Goal: 165 lbs.
Ideal: 160 lbs.

Stretches this morning, a brief bike ride to the track and five laps. There are flareups in my hip when I sit for any length of time, and then I stand. I could feel it during my run a little, but not now. I was lagging a bit because I didn't eat anything before heading out, which is always a mistake.

What's That Lyric?
In The Street - Big Star

All my failings exposed.

When it is late afternoon, and when you are tired, which is better, to nap or run? Sometimes a run substitutes for a nap, keeps my blood pumping, I feel bright-eyed, alert, ready to handle the rest of my waking hours and then, hopefully, sleep better for it.

This evening, however, coming home from work - with temps in the low-50s - the desire to rest, for a few minutes, was very strong. This is what comes from sitting, sitting and typing and staring into a screen.

For ten minutes I went to a far off place, but I came back again, too. And then I was ready to run.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 48°
Gear: shorts, long-sleeves no gloves
Climate: cool
Mood: good

Brisk run, legs free, not cold - not raining, either, it was raining earlier. Feeling depressed before, feeling motivated there are things to do.

Baseline: 174 lbs.
Today: 171 lbs. (+0.5)
Goal: 165 lbs.
Ideal: 160 lbs.

Yesterday's abuses are evident. It is disheartening.

1980 Playlist
Cows - The Suburbs
When You Were Mine - Prince
You Make My Dreams Come True * - Hall & Oates
Bela Lugosi's Dead - Bauhaus
Whine & Grind/Stand Down Margaret * - The Beat
Any Way You Want It - Journey
Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division

I just want the summer to end.

Back to school.

So tired this week, or these weeks, or for several months. I was already using a blindfold to block out the sun on Saturday mornings with the idea that it was sunlight which has been giving me headaches on Saturday mornings all these years.

But it wasn't until Alaska and when I began using a sleep mask that I discovered the true effect sunlight has on my sleep even when I work to blot it out. It is as though it gets into my skin.

Even in bed in Maine, I was aware of the sunrise, and so, to at home, the encroaching dawn. These late summer weeks we have stayed up late, and very late, since the Finals, late show comedy show coverage of the conventions, finally the Olympics. It's not just me or the wife, but the kids. We cannot settle down.

We must settle down. I took a nap after work, I am still tired. You've been unusually tired, observes the wife, am I all right? I said if I were to speak to the doctor and told her I was exhausted, she would ask me how much rest I am getting and I would say five or six hours a night and she would reply, well that's your trouble right there.

Distance: 3.58 miles
Route: Forest Hill Loop

Oh God! What a difference a Dave makes. Feeling downright despondent after dinner, helpless, listless. Everyone was out, kids at soccer practice, the wife with them. geared to take a run while they are there. And me and my work. What to do?

I took a nap, a fifteen minute after-supper nap. Put on my gear, and had the strongest, fittest run in some time. Beautiful evening, sun setting over the Rockefeller estate, Folks taking walks in the park, in their yards repairing their cars, working in the garden.

This chemical imbalance, these effects, which make my head ache, my skin itch, my brain unhappy. They are all problems to be solved, issues to be patiently dealt with. Everything. Everything.

Temperature: 77°
Climate: warm, humid and gorgeous
Weight: 169.5 lbs. (-2.0)
Goal: 165 lbs.
Mood: all right now

Summer 2016 Playlist
Thank God For Girls - Weezer
Brazil - Declan McKenna
Clearest Blue - CHVRCHES
Subways - The Avalanches
The Less I Know The Better - Tame Impala
You Don't Get Me High Anymore - Phantogram
Endless Bummer - Weezer
Don't You Give Up On Me - Lissie

Well. That pretty much describes my entire summer in one playlist. Check out my Summer 2006 Playlist, created ten years ago this week. It is also chock full of awesome.