Slow up and stop all my running around.

I have to force myself not to leave the house too early when catching the bus. I am always there with plenty of time to spare. But it is a ten minute walk to the stop, and when I am prepared in advance, I will go and regret it, just standing for an additional five minutes.

That is what I am doing right now. Not preparing to run, but creating busy work, sitting down, so I do not leave.

Okay. Now.

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 28:09
Pace: 9:05

Am I living my best life? By that I mean, am I doing this right? Am I getting all I can and also giving all I can?

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 66°
Climate: sunny & cool(er)
Mood: all right

So, I did a lot of stretches. Different stretches. Sitting, doing circles with my ankle, others. And it made a difference, it really did. I didn't start out feeling as though I was running on a broken heel. I need to take more time before each run. I can do this.

Stretches: yes!
Water: yes 
Weight: 160 lbs. (-2.0)

Maintain. Relax. Breathe. Think. It took two weeks to bring it back down to 160, and now I must maintain. Just stay here. My consumption yesterday was good. Good food, portioned, thought out. I could drink less. I did, actually, drink less. It was still a lot. Maintain. Focus on what is right in front of you, work, play, relaxation, dining.

Planks: yes
Push-ups: yes

Sit-Ups: yes

This Is Gabriel & Dresden

Sydney

Sequoia

Twelve (Darude Remix)

I'm Not Like Everybody Else (ft. Sub Teal)

Tomorrow Comes (ft. Neil Ormandy)

White Walls  (ft. Sub Teal)

I had a mood.

I'm like a spinning top going round and around.

As many months in February -- a short month -- as in January. Even through illness. Remarkable. It's quite a year already. We are creating, yes. We are engaging with the world, yes. We are finding satisfaction through our work, mostly, yes. We are loving and living and communicating, yes.

But what of March? Moving forward? Or relapse? 

Distance: 4 miles

Duration: 33:32

Taking a puff is fun, but it really means the day is over for me. And I have to make sure I am not compelled to consume. That's where Noom is helpful. If I have hit the "finish the day" button then I have a reason not to eat anything else. Or drink, the other night I thought, sure! A second beer would be fine, right? And then I really thought about it and decided in my state a can of fizzy water would taste the same, and so I had one of those.  

Of course, then there are those nights nights you’re totally straight and think, three beers? Sure, that always works for me. Jesus.

Mood: hoo-boy
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Weight: 160 lbs.

1978 Playlist

One For You, One For Me - La Bionda

My Best Friend's Girl - The Cars

I Know But I Don’t Know - Blondie

Peanuts - The Police

Spinning Top - XTC

What a Fool Believes - Doobie Bros.

Atmosphere - Joy Division

Chase - Giorgio Moroder

Got To Get You Into My Life - Earth Wind & Fire 

Damn! This playlist. Oh! And I watched the Yacht Rock doc. Surprised to discover they played it straight.

Watch me work it (I'm perfect).

Did you know ..?
This stuff is available on YouTube!

Started out, thought this might be best a short run. It's hot!

Distance: 1 miles
Duration: 9:34
Route: Neighborhood Loop
Temperature: 81°
Climate: overcast & muggy
Mood: all right
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Upper body: 

Core Strength: 

   Sit-Ups: 20

Why we track our dietary intake. Because when I have the urge to buy a candy bar or a bag of chips, I know I will have to write it down, so I don't. It is not unhealthy for me to do this. Writing it down helps me to make good choices.

Should I fry and egg this morning, or eat the cucumber salad that mas been marinating in the fridge?

Breakfast: coffee w/cream, cucumber salad, brownie (gifted)

Lunch: stir fry

Coffee Break: iced coffee w/sugar & milk

Dinner: ramen w/egg & carrot, strawberry wheat ale

Cocktail Hour: Negroni, bomb pop

What's That Lyric?

Perfect (Exceeder) - Mason ft. Princess Superstar

We landed on the good foot.

Butcher Billy

Moderation. Time. Thinking. Planning. Also being. Moving forward. The running is its own reward. So is mindful consumption. Last night I was going to have a drink simply because it was night. I thought about it. I did not wish to consume a heavy beverage. So I didn't.

Also, it helps to watch X-Men '97 while doing upper body work.

Distance: 4 miles
Duration: 39:19
Pace: 9:49

1996 Playlist  
Brakes - De La Soul

Flipside - Everything But the Girl

Trainspotting- Primal Scream

Broken English - Queue Up

Sleep to Dream - Fiona Apple

Super Bon Bon (Propellerheads Radio Edit Version) - Soul Coughing

Down Rodeo (170 BPM)  - Rage Against the Machine

Born Slippy (Nuxx) - Underworld 

Can we get more 90s? I do not believe that we could.

Man. My twenties went fast.

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 55
Climate: overcast & cool
Mood: good
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Upper body: 60 rep 

Core Strength: 

   Sit-up: 40

   Bicycle: 40

   Plank: 90 sec.

Baseline: 185 lbs.
Weight: 180 lbs. (-0-)

Goal: 175 lbs.

Breakfast: coffee w/cream, fresh berries, yogurt, granola 

Lunch: chili over rice

Happy Hour: old fashioned

Dinner: popcorn, beer

I don't want to die.

Dark in the morning, and only so much time. I must be careful. I may need to switch to evening runs, soon. But this is such a great way to begin the day.

Anyway, I set out at seven. So I'll be later than usual, it's still on time.

There have been many periods in my life in which I cannot run, or am not running well. This is not one of those times, and I am mindful of that. Things are good right now. That is the best thing I could hope for.

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 29:08
Pace: 9:24

Route: Forest Hill Loop

Temperature: 58°
Climate: cool

Mood: good

 
Stretches: yes

Planks: 30 sec.

Water: yes

Breakfast: coffee w/cream, fresh fruit w/granola & yogurt

Snack: apple (RIGHT? YES!)

Lunch: cheeseburger, funnel fries, Coke

Snack: apple

Happy Hour: almonds & raisins, IPA

Dinner: Popcorn. Ice cream. Fizzy water. Yeah.

Alcohol? yes

Baseline: 195 lbs.

Current: 170 lbs. (-0-)

Goal: 165 lbs.

Man. What if I didn't snack?

Reading: Corley, E.

Writing: 30 min.

What's That Lyric? 

Next to Normal - Lucius

Some people stop at nothing.

Thursday of a four-day week. Yes, we got eight hours of rest last night, good rest, without assistance. And this AM we woke a little later (5:30 AM) and had a briefer than usual writing period. Because we need to type up the script. And the mosquitos.

Also, a shorter run is in order. To keep going. To not hurt myself.

Distance: 1 mile

Duration: 9:30

Route: Haselton Loop 

Temperature: 69°
Climate: cool but humid

Mood: good

Hey! This day gets worse and worse. Maintain. Focus.

 
Stretches: yes

Sit-Ups: 20

Water: yes? I think?

Breakfast: coffee w/cream, fresh fruit w/granola & yogurt

Treat" "fruit snacks"

Lunch: fruit smoothie bowl w/PB & chocolate granola & nutella

Dinner: beanie weenies, slaw, tortilla

Dessert: ice cream, two cookies

Alcohol? 

Baseline: 195 lbs.

Current: 172 lbs. (+1.0)

Goal: 165 lbs.

How about no candy bars? How about that?

Writing: 10 min.

Blog: "needle drop"

A little sophisti-pop this morning.

What's That Lyric?

Breakout - Swing Out Sister

I can feel my lifetime piling up.

Being overweight is not good. If I was just big and happy, that would be one thing. I don't like the sighing I do when I have taken the stairs. Or the sudden sighs I do, out of nowhere. I know weight and activity are not necessarily related. I can exercise and be big. But as I age, I worry about additional taxation on my heart.

These are the things I worry about. And yet, I am also trying not to diet. I want to be, you know, Mindful. That's what the kids say, right? Mindful.

Distance: 2.25 miles

Duration: 25:28
Pace: 11:18

Route: Horizon Loop (clockwise)

Temperature: 31°
Climate: snowy
Mood: oh-ho, yeah. you bet.

1992 Playlist

So What'Cha Want - Beastie Boys

If I Can't Change Your Mind - Sugat

Girlfriend - Matthew Sweet

Lifetime Piling Up - Talking Heads

Helpless - Sugar

Model - Balanescu Quartet

Sleeping Satellite - Tasmin Archer

What was 1992? Playing Joseph Merrick. Working for Karamu. Living off Coventry. Starting my first theater company. Getting married for the first time. 

 
Stretches: yes
Abdominals: 120 sec.
Water: yes

Your ha-ha-heart goes pit-a-pat.

Mindfulness and control. Sleeping, and sleeping well. Running and not running. And working, and that makes me a little ... I do not know what.

Chose another clip from And Then You Die in 2009. This story was cut when I tried to make the show one hour, and I miss it. I had learned something about myself, about the picture I had created of myself as a youth, that I was oppressed and intimidated by thick-headed athletes when nothing could be farther from the truth. I was the arrogant one. It was me.

In particular I love this clip because I was surprised by an audience member's reaction when I announced, "Twenty years later, I am a jock." It's the kind of thing that only happens in live performance, I hope you enjoy it.

Distance: 3.75 miles

Duration: 36:29
Pace: 9:43
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 63°
Climate: cool but humid
Mood: good
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Weight: 182.5 lbs. (-0-)

Goal: 180 lbs.

There are a lot of snacks in the rehearsal space. But there's also fresh fruit.

Erotic80s Playlist

Curated by "You Must Remember This" podcast

Cradle of Love - Billy Idol

The Things That Dreams Are Made Of - Human League

Smooth Operator - Sade

Paradise - Phoebe Cates

Aphrodisiac - Bow Wow Wow

Fascination Street - The Cure

Like To Get To Know You Well - Howard Jones

Some Like It Hot - The Power Station

West End Girls (Disco Mix) - Pet Shop Boys

Slight pain in my knee. Standing straight while you run is a great abdominal workout, and it's just good in general. And by the way, this weather is perfect.

All this talking is only bravado.

This morning I wrote about control. I don't like that word, control. It suggests an exertion of power, which is not what I am looking for. Rather, to choose. To start again, and to mke a choice. That every moment is a moment to make a choice, to make a helpful (not "correct") choice.

Huffing as I am walking up the stairs at school is not something I approve of. I will take the stairs, I will not take the elevator, not yet. This remains a choice I can make.

I made cookies this morning, for others. Not for me. I ate one, to see what it tastes like, and that is all.

Yesterday I made unfortunate choices. Two snack bags of Doritos. A very large breakfast. I had a bowl of cereal before sleep, what was the point of that? There is no balance. These are not choices. This is a form of power, my id forcing itself on my ego.

Exercising is also a choice, and one I have made for this morning.

Also, I got my glasses repaired yesterday. Didn't even cost anything. That was a happy thing. More happy things.

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 32:08
Pace: 10:22
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 34°
Climate: overcast & chilly
Mood: all right?
Weight: 178.5 lbs. (+1.5) 

Nice, easy run. Perfect temperature for the gear I was wearing. Gentle steps. My knees hurt, both of them. Not where they bend, but on top, where they struck the pavement. But running aggravates that, too.

Life is beginning again. Life is always beginning again.

Intake

Breakfast: coffee (3x), cookie (1, a tester)

Lunch: turkey leg, green beans, cookie (1, to enjoy)

Snack: banana half

Happy Hour: beer (1x)

Dinner: mushroom & tofu teriyaki stir fry over rice

Cocktail: Od Fashioned

Also: fizzy water (1x)

See? Choice. Decision.

What's That Lyric?

Tinseltown in the Rain - The Blue Nile