So sick of having sleepless nights.

David Finch

Daily life is dizzying. Glad to be well again. A week feeling poor, my sore throat finally abated entirely by Sunday. Last night I came home from work just feeling tired. Not ill, not weak, just sleepy. I had a short night, making dinner for all, then getting in bed by eight. Why not? I thought of those times I had too much to do and felt despair (yes! despair!) knowing how long it would be before I could rest, and how much little rest I would get.

That did not prevent me from waking up at four and taking an hour to get back to sleep ... for another twenty minutes.

I have been having dreams about looking at my phone. That should be a sign. I had posted a video of a fire that had accidentally started in a scene shop at a local theater and then realized I probably shouldn't post that and wandered around trying to get it deleted from all the different social media sites, meanwhile, all around me, the Human League performed a house concert in my kitchen, and a troupe of African dancers were rehearsing in the hallway.

Beautiful art and music was happening all around me, and I was focused on my phone.

Distance: 3 miles

Duration: 26:31

Back to the gym. The elder and I discuss when we will run together, and when we will run apart. We are making plans.

Route: rec center
Temperature: 34°
Climate: damp & cold
Mood: adjusting

1971 Playlist

Pictures of Lily - The Who

Strawberry Letter 23 - Shuggie Otis

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised - Gil Scott Heron

Theme from “Shaft” - Isaac Hayes

Can You Get to That - Funkadelic

Alone Again (Naturally) -  Gilbert O’Sullivan

Jeepster - T. Rex

Peace Train - Yusuf/Cat Stevens

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 160 lbs. (-0-)

Last indoor run for a while? Fingers crossed.

Planks: yes
Push-ups: yes

Sit-Ups: yes

I'm not alone in reaching for a perfect life.

Tested negative yesterday. How long was I contagious? Anyway, running Sunday was a risk, I guess. Big sweat, exhausting, also restorative. I feel mostly good.

Just in time for residency rehearsals. Well done.

Distance: 4 miles 
Duration: 36:37
Pace: 9:06

Ghost In the Machine - The Police (1981)
Spirits In the Material World

Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic (164 BPM)

Hungry For You

Demolition Man (154 BPM)

Too Much Information

Re-Humanize Yourself

One World (Not Three) (168 BPM)

Omegaman

Secret Journey

Darkness

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 77°
Climate: clear & lovely
Mood: good

Without question, this is the very best album by The Police. Okay, really, I have no idea what's their best. However, I can say that this one has no skips, which is rare for any album for running.

Well, almost. I skipped "Invisible Sun." It is a bit downbeat, emotionally.

A friend who sat in front of me in history class wrote the words "spiritus mundi" on my brown paper book cover a day or so before he shot himself. This was in late 1984. I do not know where he learned that phrase, I knew it from the opening track of Synchronicity. 

I was brought before the guidance counselor, to ask if he had given any sign, any indication. I thought they were blaming me, they fucked that up, big time. I did not tell them about his message. It wouldn't have done them any good, anyone any good, but it scarred me.

I also used the opening track of this album for an English paper my senior year, as I compared lyrics to the plot of A Midsummer Night's Dream. I got an A.

My wife translated the lyrics from "Hungry For You (j'aurais toujours faim de toi)" for her French class. They are pretty hot.

No sleep to night

I want you

Until I’m thirsty

But our bodies are all wet

Completely covered in sweat

We clean ourselves in the tide

I have no desire

You have broken my heart

And me, I’ve drank your blood

But we can do what we want

I’ll always be hungry for you

And so on. She also put the song on her first mixtape to me, this is why we are still together. I think she also got an A, but I gave her the big D.

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 160 lbs.

I drove to Florida on my own in Spring 1989, to see both of my grandfathers, and my ex-lover. One of my grandfathers was dying, visiting him was very challenging. So was seeing the young woman, it was the end of the road for us. "Secret Journey" was on a mixtape I had made for the drive, for myself. 

You will see light in the darkness

You will make some sense of this

When you've made your secret journey

You will find this love you miss

I wish I still had that tape.

Planks: TBA
Push-ups: TBA

Sit-Ups: TBA

It's not my favorite Police album, it's not. But it may be their very best.

Sitting idle in our boat while everyone else is down the stream.

Los Angeles, 1991

Ugh. Just ugh. Every day getting up is very difficult. I have just been sick. I was hoping, last week, when I only felt it in my throat, that it was allergies. But this is a cold, plain and simple. And it makes me cough and my head is heavy and some mornings I take a pill which clears my head, a little, and makes me hyper and I don't know which is worse.

Monday I actually put on my kit, stepped out and started running up the street. After about fifty yards, I thought, this isn't good. By one hundred yards I had stopped. I hadn't felt like that yet. Maybe a little ill, but not weary, not like that. I thought, three miles? Surely I can run three miles. But no. Why? If I felt like I hadn't felt before, that should be enough to tell me not to do something. I turned around and got through the day. Yesterday I didn't even consider running.

However, Monday afternoon I went to the doctor, for previously scheduled appointment, basically the end to a year-long intervention. In March 2015 I had my "annual" physical exam, about five years too late. I was about twenty pounds overweight, and had dangerously high blood sugar.

I lost the weight, I changed the diet. I was told to have a colonoscopy, which I put off for almost a year. I made the appointment before dad died, but as the time came so soon after his death, my wife suggested I postpone. It was for the exact same reason I kept it.

And I am clean. My colon is healthy, blood work taken last month indicates that my prostate is clear, I am at low risk of cancer. As long as I keep my weight where it is, I do not have to be concerned about diabetes. If I gain weight, well then, I will have to be concerned. Odds are good in that case. So, my path is pretty obvious.

Distance: 3 miles
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 46°
Climate: cool and bright
Weight: 163 lbs. (+2.0)
Mood: searching

Twenty-five years ago I was enduring my brief residence in Los Angeles. So, why not an appropriate playlist? Something to inspire me, at long last.

But dude, if your time in Los Angeles was so regrettable, why will this playlist be "inspiring"? Good question. Because the station was awesome, and listening to KROQ in the car were the times I was my happiest, traveling from one place to another. The anticipation of doing something, accomplishing something, getting there, that was a positive feeling. Actually being anywhere in Los Angeles was inevitably a let-down.

KROQ91 Playlist
Ring Ring Ring (Ha Ha Hey) - De La Soul
Round and Round - Tevin Campbell & Prince
Head Like a Hole - Nine Inch Nails
The Other Side of Summer - Elvis Costello
Valerie Loves Me - Material Issue
Unbelieveable - EMF

Warmdown
88 Lines About 44 Women - The Nails