One day that’ll be your forehead I’m kissing.

"This hasn't happened to me since M!"

Wednesday night I was on my own, the wife at a dinner, the elder at their internship. It has been a while since I have been on my own with nothing to do myself. And since the kids have graduated high school, I have tried to take advantage of opportunities like these to do things I always told myself I wanted to -- like to watch movies on my own.

I have also been affected by the use of screens, the inability to focus on one story from beginning to end. It's easier at the cinema. On Monday I treated myself to The Testament of Ann Lee. I went out, had a beer, got popcorn, and watched a flick, all by my lonesome.

Wednesday night, I took time to make a list of possible selections. I chose M, Fritz Lang's 1931 psychological thriller which introduced the world to Peter Lorre.

Goodness. Isn't that film timely.

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 28:11
Pace: 9:05

Ten years ago yesterday, my life changed forever. Maybe it is too facile to think that only the death of someone close to me defines my existence, but upon reflection it certainly seems that way. When Calvin was born in 2001, I became a different person, suddenly, and then gradually. I thought differently, looked at the world and the people in it differently.

When my father died of a massive heart attack on the morning of February 19, 2016, my world shifted again, and I moved into this new phase of my life with uncertainty, but also a new purpose. 

With the deaths of Bowie and Prince at around the same time, it became a meme that year, "Everyone is dying! Put a ring around Betty White!" Yeah, well. As George St. Geegland put it, "When a famous person dies, blame the year and make it about you." My father died in 2016, it wasn't part of a curse, it was thing that happened. It was going to happen, fathers die.

As will I, some day. Most mornings these days I say farewell to our elder child as they head off to the openings shift at a local bakery and coffee shop. I am their father. As he was to me, I am to them. I hope I live so long. Longer, though. When did my father stop running? Why did he stop running? I feel like it was something he did for a short while, starting later than I did, and stopping before this. I do not recall.

The exercise keeps me healthy, and fit. Will it extend my existence?

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 52°
Climate: sunny & damp
Mood: sad

I am so sick of some people.

2021 Playlist

Be Sweet - Japanese Breakfast

Security - Amyl & The Sniffers

The Overload - Yard Act

Now I'm In It - Haim

Wet Dream - Wet Leg

Freedom - Jon Batiste

Russian Doll - Gully Boys

The Gathering - Frank Turner

Spit of You - Sam Fender

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 162 lbs. (+2.0)

We watched the USA Gold match yesterday. I had fried pickles, mozzarella moons and onion rings. Then I didn't eat anything for the rest of the day.

Planks: TBA
Push-ups: TBA

Sit-Ups: TBA

Must keep up with the upper body exercises.