The crime was looking up the truth.

Thank God, it's Presidents Day. We had a lovely weekend with my wife's family, celebrating the life of her eldest uncle. I do love spending time with her family, very much. They are all so thoughtful, compassionate and creative. The service was remarkable. It was held in a chapel in Hyde Park, the priest gave the most sincerely affecting homily, I don't believe I have ever left a memorial service feeling so hopeful.

At the same time, I was nursing my cold and felt a bit stand-offish. I wanted to thank her, to thank the musician at the reception, our hosts, but I kept losing the moment. I can still do these things (well, not for the guitarist) and will make a note to do so.

Distance: 3.5 miles

Duration: 34:21
Pace: 9:49

We took the Lake Shore Limited. We discussed the possibility of never flying into NYC again. True, it takes half a day to get there, but so what? It's so much cheaper, the taxi from LaGuardia to wherever we're staying -- one way -- is one hundred bucks all by itself, and you get dropped off in the heart of the city! And it's not like air travel has anything to recommend it, it's maybe half the time, all told, right? Six hours, as opposed to twelve?

And you can read on the train, take a walk, relocate for a bit, they have acceptable food options, or you can bring your own. 

Then again, returning home today. Not sleeping on the coach, and it was so cold. I am so sick and tired of cold. Pulling in at 4:00 am. The day is a complete write-off. Thank God, it's Presidents Day.

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 50°
Climate: sunny & lovely
Mood: more determined than ever

Pavement damp, puddled, or clogged with crispy snow. Nearly wiped out twice from slipping, once almost falling forward, the second to the side. Still, ran steady but easy, stopping when necessary, into the street when the sidewalk was high with snow and the street was free.

First outdoor run since the Turkey Trot, first park run since November 22. The gym is so even, so controlled, so predictable (others notwithstanding) the outdoors makes me breath harder, think harder, move harder. It is more taxing to run outdoors. It is more rewarding.

1992 Playlist

One Place (Acoustic) - Everything But the Girl

Eastern Bloc - Thomas Dolby

Mama's Always On Stage - Arrested Development

Television is the Drug of the Nation - Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy

We Are Each Other - Beautiful South

Humpin' Around - Bobby Brown

Galileo - Indigo Girls

The King of Wishful Thinking - Go West

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 161 lbs. (+1.0)

Planks: yes
Push-ups: yes

Sit-Ups: TBA

You're like a breath of fresh air in my lungs.

That's a cold ass honkey.

Why are there so many references in pop songs to running?

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 27:32
Pace: 8:52

Hell, yeah. Beautiful day, perfect weather. We run outdoors again.

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 59
Climate: breezy! sunny!
Mood: good
Stretches: yes 
Water: yes

Weight: 163 lbs.

2012 Playlist

Carried Away - Passion Pit

Sweet Nothing - Calvin Harris ft. Florence Welch

Brokenhearted - Karmin

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together (Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift

Thrift Shop - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Wanz

Ready Or Not - Bridgit Mendler

Don't Want to Go the Other Way - Cody Chesnutt

Locked Out of Heaven - Bruno Mars

Just can't stop.

Caramels in the conference room, my son with a large box of Mike & Ike's ... this is my daily obstacle course. I just say no. It is truly a slippery slope and so easy to become demoralized.

However, I have been eating a lot of pasta lately, and that also includes a lot of sugar. Two years ago I forced whole wheat pasta on the family but gave that up after things felt under control. I think I need a return to the good stuff.

Meanwhile, I keep exercising on off days, at least ten minutes. It doesn't feel like a lot, but it's also not nothing.

1977 Playlist
Marquee Moon - Television
Nothing Achieving - The Police
Never Going Back Again - Fleetwood Mac
Stayin' Alive - Bee Gees
Barracuda - Heart
Disco Inferno - The Trammps
Sound and Vision - David Bowie
The Name of the Game - ABBA

Yes. Nineteen Seventy-Seven in a nutshell.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 54°
Climate: breezy
Pavement: wet
Mood: all right

The big push. A day with spring-like weather. It never got this warm the entire time we were in Orlando last week. Tomorrow it will snow, the next day it will freeze. It is a day for running free. I hope I do not hurt myself

Stretches: yes

Return to the woods. It was delightful to be running in the open air, through the trees. I felt it in my left thigh, all the way down. But that is the price we pay. I choose to focus on the trees.

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 177 lbs. (-1.0)
Goal: 170 lbs.

Like most adults, all I ask is to be able to fit into my pants.

As this is to me, then so to you is something else.

"I've been reading your blog for a while now, and I still can't figure out why you run. 

I get the sense it just makes you miserable." 

- Karen, whom I dated in high school

Maybe it has something to do with the picture of myself in anguish at the top of the page, but it is true, lately it seems like it is all ugly. Because I'm tired. Very, very tired. 

But the running doesn't make me tired, if anything the running gives me energy. I do not know where I would be -- or what size I would be -- without it. 

It's my exercise, it's exercise I can get excited about. I have tried yoga. I have tried weight machines. For maybe three seconds I have considered teams sports. Can't excite me. Running, however, is thrilling. It is a dare. And it is a surprise.

Yesterday, for example, I complained that I got suddenly hungry in the middle of the run, which was just stupid and poor planning on my part. That is an example of a bad surprise. However, quite often I feel wretched when I start out, and gain energy and happiness as I go along, and end feeling so much better than I started.

The problem with this blog (I am taking your comment seriously, Karen) is that I am writing around all the other things, the before and after things. I try to remember the charge I get at certain points during the run, but have often forgotten them by the time I return, and then I need to get on with my life.

But then, I once wrote an entire play about running, about why I run. Martin Denton of nytheatre.com had this to say about it; "What I wanted was to understand why running is so fundamentally important to Hansen. But this show never really gets us to that place." It appears I have failed to properly communicate this fact more than once.

I am going to make a point of reflecting more on the running itself. That might change your mind about it ... or at least make reading these posts less onerous.

Temperature: 34°
Climate: mostly dry pavement, with as yet unmelted ice patches
Distance: 5.15 miles
Weight: 175 lbs.

Some reasons why I love running.

Breathing - While I can complain of being tired from time to time, I am not spent. I do not gasp, I do not pant. I breathe freely and deeply, and feeling myself breathe as I run is a joyful celebration of life. (I am trying to be tactful here, Cris, but she did ask.)

Also, for someone my age, my heart-rate is entirely awesome.

Thinking - Getting out and running is the only time I have when I absolutely no obligations to someone else, and so am free to think about anything at all. My mind wandering, I have directed entire plays, written entire scenes, developed perspective on issues which trouble me.

Outside - It is a fucking gorgeous day today. I may never have learned that until I stepped out for 5 o'clock rehearsal, and then it would be too late to enjoy it. This is a major reason why I have little to no urge to get a gum membership again, even when the weather is miserable. In fact, it has made me engage the horrible weather, instead of merely complain about and hide from it.

Neighborhood - Like a dog walker (except without all that horrible talking to other dog walkers) I know more about the state of my neighborhood and my city than most other people. I never learned the geography of my adopted town until I began training for my first marathon.

Muscles - I have extremely attractive calves.

Those were the positive thoughts I put together on today's run. Perhaps I have stated some before, but they are worth repeating. You know. For Karen.

1984 Playlist
Relax (New York Mix) - Frankie Goes to Hollywood
William, It Was Really Nothing - The Smiths
Shake Dog Shake (Live) - The Cure
Fuck Art, Let's Dance - The Adults
Strut - Sheen Easton
Cue Fanfare - Prefab Sprout
Me Ship Came In! (177 bpm)  - The Style Council
High Energy - Evelyn Thomas
Welcome to the Pleasuredome - Frankie Goes to Hollywood
You're The Wish You Are I Had - XTC
Skakin' To The Beat - Fishbone
99 Luftballons - Nena