Sunday, September 04, 2016

Wondering if I'll sleep.

She made this.
Thirteen runs in August, which is not remarkable ... but I ran eleven times in July and also in June. So that surprised me. Why? Because I have felt so exhausted and depressed this past month. And yet, we run.

That was the discussion on the drive down yesterday, why is daddy so tired all the time. After the fact mother noticed that my father had been tired all the time, and that she should have done something about it, that maybe that was a sign of his unnoticed heart problems, which eventually killed him.

There is nothing wrong with my heart, seriously. Not now, not a chance. And yet. I am always so tired.

The wife knows that when I am depressed I have a tendency to check out physically, and there may be something there. There are things I desire, that I desire to accomplish ... I was on track with a few of them until the beginning of July. It has been a busy if somewhat bewildering summer.

Distance: 4.42 miles
Avg Pace: 7:51
Duration: 34:44
Route: Hocking River Bike Path

Went to bed last night around 10 PM. Finally got out of bed after 9 AM.  This is not normal, but then when do I ever have such an opportunity. Made the mistake of not bringing my sleep mask to Maine, as in I intentionally decided not to bring it.

"Rise at dawn," I thought, "it will be fun," I thought.

Instead I got used to taking a clean sock to bed and slapping that over my eyes just to rest until seven.

My in-laws dog died last month, so my sinuses are considerably less troubled and while I did not wake with a headache I was not exactly rested, regardless of eleven hours of sleep. I tossed about a great deal, my hips ached on the unfamiliar mattress. My dreams were wild and disturbing.

Wrote for a little this morning, read the Times. MP took the wife and all the kids to the hotel for swimming, but I opted to go for a run by the river. It has been a very long time

Temperature: 81°
Climate: hot, bright & beautiful
Mood: maintaining

Was a gorgeous run down by the Hocking, only too hot. Surprised to learn it is only eighty degrees, but the air is so still and the sky without clouds, it felt much hotter.

My first run on this trail was almost thirty years ago, in spring 1987. My first blogged run was ten years ago, a nine mile, training for New York City. At that time I was not so conscious of how much older I was than the students. Who is that old guy, running on the path? What am I, a professor or business owner? Not to be mistaken for a grad student.

Eat For Two Playlist
Eat For Two - 10,000 Maniacs
Like Cockatoos - The Cure
Peace Train * - 10,000 Maniacs
Mr. Jones - Talking Heads
Twisting - They Might Be Giants
See A Little Light - Bob Mould
Letter Never Sent - R.E.M.
Skyway * - The Replacements
Beyond Belief - Elvis Costello & The Attractions
Bushfire - The B-52's
Radio Song - R.E.M. ft. KRS-One

That is some kind of college music playlist. Suits me. Also has my brain picking to bits Scene Three. We are here, among other reasons, for a baby shower for my brother-in-law and his family. Baby blankets and baby shoes, baby slippers, baby spoons, walls of baby blue. Perhaps I missed my window but I hoped to write a little once my brain was settled. It is not the season for thinking.

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