I wonder what you're living for.

As my mother used to say, "Well. I'm glad you got that out of your system."

Today is not a day I would choose to go running. It's very hot. I had a poor night's sleep. And I feel weak, disengaged, numb, depressed. I'm not actually numb, I feel like crying. I feel like giving up on everything.

But the boy and I just got new shoes from Second Sole. Saucony, that's a first. He was leaving as I got home, and he encouraged me to take a run, which was thoughtful.

I'm tired. I feel like doing nothing at all. Once my father had a terrible headache (he told me this story) he was a young man and his head hurt so much he couldn't stand it. He said he took ten aspirin, figuring they would either kill him or make his pain go away. Anyway, it didn't kill him.

I have no idea if this is a smart thing to do. It doesn't feel like it. But I keep dithering her at my laptop because I have no idea what else to do.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Duration: 30:26
Pace: 9:22
Route: Boulevard Loop
Temperature: 79°
Climate: hot & sunny
Mood: very bad
Weight: 169 lbs. (-1.0)

It was difficult, but not hard. Not much speed, but I felt good. Managing rush hour traffic, and the Greek Festival. Watching pedestrians and parked cars and stopping at all intersections.

Saw some bullshit at the main intersection, up the hill. Not paying attention to people in the crosswalk when trying to make a left turn in front of oncoming traffic. Blowing your horn three times to let people know you know you're running a red light, but I don't care. Assholes.

Heading down the hill I see a car coming to a stop at a side street at the stop sign, so I run through. Then they accelerate. I shouted, they saw me and looked shocked as they peeled past, missing me by feet.

I am going to get killed. Someone is going to kill me.

Nice new kicks, though.

Intake
Breakfast: coffee (2x)
Lunch: pizza (1 slice), salad, cupcake
Dinner: nachos w/pico de gallo, corn on the cob

Dessert: cookies, milk

Also, fizzy water (1x), mocktail

What's That Lyric?

First Wave Intact - Secret Machines