I hit the bottom.

It's like I have this lingering ugh. I have been exhausted, you know? That and I sobbed like a lost child on Friday, like I haven't cried in a very long time. It was brought on by Spit of You. It's always a song.

But yeah, strange. What does the anniversary of a death mean, anyway? A time for remembrance, but as I said, it is also a reminder of the decade just passed. I did a lot of thinking on Thursday. Friday was just emotionally draining.

Or I'm just tired.

Distance: 3 miles

Duration: 27:25

Then, this morning, as I was "detailing" the Element (the wife has gone out of town for the week) I struck my head on the rear open door. Had my head down, walked my full weight into it and now I have a half-inch wide gash across my forehead.

I have never minded being bald. I first noticed the pattern of hair loss when I was twenty-three and that was a surprise but I got over it pretty fast. I mean, I don't like insults or, as some people call them, "jokes" not because I am embarrassed for being bad but because, like most people, I care to be insulted. Body shaming comes in all forms, just like people, and excuse me for sounding like a wounded white man, but bald jokes do seem like the last acceptable form of body shaming.

No, the one thing that has always made me unhappy about not having hair is when I hit my head and there's a mark or a scab, I am very self-conscious about that. It is a visible sign of clumsiness, I feel it makes me look like a stupid guy. I have a scar at the top of my head from repeated abrasions and scrapes. And there's no hair to hide it.

Route: rec center
Temperature: 30°
Climate: snowy
Mood: depressed

Twenty years ago on this date, February 22, 2006, I had just had my first physical in six years. We ate dessert those days, and often. Probably came with having children. Sweet, little children. We rarely have a dessert any more, they are for occasional splurges.

It's also my first mention of Netflix, which was, at that time, solely a DVD rental-by-mail service. It was surprising to learn they were still doing that until three years ago. Last movie they ever shipped? True Grit (2010). Thank goodness it wasn't something embarrassing, huh?

2001 Playlist

Les Fleur - 4hero ft. Carina Andersson

Superheroes - Daft Punk 

Point of View Point - Cornelius

Exquisite Corpse from “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” OMPS 

Breathe - Télépopmusik ft. Angela McCluskey

Packt Like Sardines in a Crushd Tin Box - Radiohead

Face to Face - Daft Punk

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 161 lbs. (-1.0)

Back to the gym. It was a good week, and I'm glad that I thought to write that. The running was good.

Planks: yes
Push-ups: yes

Sit-Ups: yes

Alopecia

FringeNYC Announces Excellence Awards

Congratulations, people! It was a tremendous festival, I only wish I could have caught more of these shows.

Must get new Calvin Harris disc. Maybe. Not crazy about what I have heard, but come on. It's Calvin Harris.

Big thought the other night. My scalp. I asked my wife if she was aware of her scalp, if it plays a big part in her life, and she had to admit that no, it does not. But mine does, I have my hands on it a lot. It is like a part of my body, as much as the back of my neck, my shoulders or the small of my back. It is bare, exposed. It becomes tense, it can be very sensitive. Often it can require a massage, and I am so happy when it does.

I have a naked scalp and you do not. I pity you.

Listening to: PODRUNNER Classic - Epinephrine (Repurposed) (173 BPM)

Distance: 5.15 miles
Temperature: 61º
Weather: cool ... and perfect
Weight: 156 lbs.

Crazy. Cool and dark. A nighttime run. That's what time of year it is, and welcome back. I couldn't only go 3 miles - even though my tank feels empty, which is not for lack of food, but energy. I am exhausted, work keeps me at it, but it is so challenging (actor-teacher word!) to sit all day and direct and coach others, especially after so many weeks - months, really - of being on my feet all day long, moving, acting, talking, working it.

It is cool and dark. Sixty degrees. My mind was racing - DeOreo asked me to do a guest spot of AROUND NOON next Wednesday, to debrief on the Fringe. Sure, why not. He also wants seven or eight minutes from the show, and I am trying to think of what to do which will entertain.

I will conclude where I began. A year ago I did a gig in the DARK ROOM, and shared the run across Cleveland. This I also performed last New Year's Eve. It goes over well. Clevelanders love it.

But wait, this is radio! Can I include additional voices? I mean, having my high school teacher's voice pop in will sound odd, confusing (it is during the actual performance, too) so why not have someone else play him? Or my wife?

Hmm. Hmnn. Running and thinking, running and thinking.

Cool.