You glorify the past when the future dries up.

We are in Athens, MIL is having hip replacement surgery, and we came down last night to assist, to make meals, to care.

What will we do? This is not the country I promised my children. There is nothing to say, white America is stupid and angry. Decades of misinformation and nonsense have led to this moment. The American experiment is holding as it was designed, to protect wealthy white men. And I have lost faith. Change will come, but not in my lifetime. I tried. So many of us tried.

Eight years ago we were shocked, surprised. What does this mean? And we protected each other, knit hats, wore safety pins, met and told stories, signaled virtue, protested in the streets -- even created art. And we hoped that things would change, because we did not know where it was headed.

And it has headed to this? Seriously? You can't blame our candidate. She ran a flawless campaign. But white America is terrified of people of color, of women, of transgender people, and that they may lose their dominance over them. Is this because white people assume if you are in the majority you necessarily must harm the minority? That there will a reckoning? Or is that they never learned to share? Or do they just hate and fear.

People will suffer, they have before and they will again. And people will die. And those of us who do not, who are in positions of education and communication will be instructed in what we can and cannot say.

There will be a reckoning, that is for sure. And it will have been avoidable.

This is the essay I told myself I would not be writing today. Because it isn't very good, or insightful, or helpful. But this is my running blog, where I record my general well-being as well as log my runs, my each and every run, as I maintain my health through my middle years. And for the sake of my mental well-being, I will abstain from social media for the foreseeable future. I can not stand to listen to people I care about wail in the darkness.

Distance: 6.75 miles

Duration: 1:0:58
Pace: 9:37

College Run (1986-1990)

The Only Way Is Up - Yazz

Go Lil Camaro Go - Ramones

Fuck Tha Police - N.W.A.

Talkin' Bout a Revolution - Tracy Chpaman

Summer's Cauldron - XTC

Slow Ride - Beastie Boys

Praying For Time - George Michael

Honey Bee - The Bears

Losing My Mind (Disco Mix) - Pet Shop Boys

Vibrating - Robyn Hitchcock & The Egyptians 

The Passenger - Siouxsie  the Banshees

Can't Hardly Wait - The Replacements

Musique Non Stop - Kraftwerk

I Still Believe - Tim Cappello

Desire - U2

Hippychick - Soho

Crucial Bar-B-Q - Murphy's Law

Route: Hocking River Bike Path
Temperature: 72°
Climate: overcast & authoritarian
Mood: just nauseous
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Pain Reliever: TBD

What's That Lyric?

God Part 2 - U2

(It's not actually on the playlist. I hate this song.)

God, save the people.

One new thing I have been doing is waiting until I am hungry before I eat breakfast. We adults get up early most mornings, and traditionally I would eat then. Now I wait until I am truly interested in food and then I seem to choose what I crave and not just what I think I should eat or that I am used to eating.

Usually I eat granola and yogurt. This morning I wanted half a bagel, sunbutter and banana. It's what my body was interested in. This seems to be working for me.

Distance: 3.75 miles
Avg. Pace: 8:13
Duration: 30:54
Route: Neighborhood Loop

Priorities. An open Saturday for me, but it took two hours to sort and fold all of the laundry that has accumulated ... not counting socks. Do I continue doing housework, this list is long, or do I take a run?

What do you think?

Pavement: dusted with snow
Temperature: 28°
Climate: cold
Mood: concerned

Arduous, slipping on light snow.Cold but not cold enough to keep from heavy sweating, that was some good work. Ran past the pit that used to be the site of the Center-Mayfield. Also, a Chinese restaurant, barbershops and salons, and the Looney Tunes daycare.

Ran past that place countless times, saw myself reflected in the mirrored windows in all variety of gear, and many shapes and sizes, watched myself go gray. The windows prevented me from seeing in but who peers into a daycare center, that is creepy. But I did wonder about the children, what they were doing, how they were doing, were they learning, were they happy.

My own children had the privilege of going to Montessori school and they thrived, because we could afford it. Now those children (and yes, I know, over the years they were always different children) where do they go? Where do their caregivers go?

Sometimes I think this country is one big hole in the ground.

Baseline: 174 lbs.
Today: 167 lbs. (-0.5)
Goal: 165 lbs.
Ideal: 160 lbs.

1974 Playlist
For the Love of Money - The O'Jays
Back In NYC - Genesis
The Wall Street Shuffle - 10cc
In The Cage - Genesis
Save the People - Steve Nathan
Rock and Roll, Hoochie Koo - Rick Derringer
Waterloo - ABBA
Jackie Blue - Ozark Mountain Daredevils