2021 Friendship Day 5K

28th Annual Friendship Day 5K
Start: 7:50 AM
Official Time: 25:36:85
Place Overall: 11th
Place Mens 50 - 59: 2nd  

Is it the 28th annual when there was no race last year? Or did they actually hold a race last year and I didn't bother to find out? 

Anyway, this was my son's first timed 5K. I don't know who was pacing who, but he kept me moving, that is for sure. I was doing my best to keep pace up that hill, and he was just ahead of me.

As we rounded the last turn, at the three mile mark, I told him to let it rip, and he did: 25:28:46.

Elder sibling and I drive home tomorrow, in one day, on our own. The boy and the wife will remain for a time. I could stay, but my brothers are both leaving. And I have had a marvelous time with them. I think the transition would bring me down.

Mother says I was a great mistake.

Waking up with a headache on vacation is all kinds of suck. I rose, made coffee, set a fire, and went right back to sleep. But by noon I was much better, and full of cake.

I have been mindful of my portions, so as to allow myself to have a little of everything. When the sourdough pretzels break out of a game of Scrabble, I want to say yes. But carbs have been piling high and there will be a price to pay. All I know is that I still fit into my shorts.

Our edlest and I will be return home on own own on Sunday, the boy is remaining here with friends and even my wife will stay a few extra days. She loves it here so much.

Yesterday afternoon we laid our mother to her final rest. Her ashes, her remains, has sat in a biscuit tin on a bookshelf in our bedroom for a year and a half. It has been a burden. Mother would not approve, either, and if she were here she would be happy for me.

It was a picture perfect afternoon, we set out on a boat, her sons, their families. Words were spoken, I very carefully poured (not scattered) her ashes into the drink (she always called it the drink, "don't fall in the drink") where they coallesced into a cloud beneath the green, holding together for the moment for us to see before we drifted apart.

Distance: 3.53 miles
Duration: 32:24
Pace: 9:10
Route: Martin Point Run
Temperature: 68°
Climate: sunny & beautiful
Mood: good

What's That Lyric?

Novocaine For the Soul - Eels

From my throat to my pounding heart.

The "2020" Tokyo Olypmics. Disappointing, or outright offensive? Let's discuss.

We're not actually going to discuss this. I got up at 4 AM to watch the women play soccer, and I'm still not feeling my best.

Yesterday we had a delightful wine hour followed by a big family dinner. My wife made my favorite meal for dinner, and my favorite cake for dessert, and there was plenty for everyone. 

After we had a fire in the rather avant garde fire chimney that was installed next to the cabin this year and lit fireworks. It was one of the best birthdays I have ever had.

Distance: 3:45 miles
Duration: 31:03
Pace: 9:01
Route: Martin Point Run
Temperature: 79°
Climate: sunny & hot & perfect
Mood: surprisingly anxious

Why anxious? Well, Simone Biles. I provided my final notes for the video version of I Hate This. Had an uncomfortable conversation about the name of the Cleveland baseball team last night. Misgendering. And on and on and on.

But, that was a pwerful run. Up and down hills, chin up, I felt very strong. Light. That is something to be glad about. Who knows when the next dive into depression might occur.

What's That Lyric?

Shake Dog Shake - The Cure

Martin Point Run

Today is my birthday. We are on holiday. I am striving to enjoy what I consume, without consuming too much. Traditionally, I would be enjoying a consistent between-meal diet of a certain Frito-Lay Brand snack chip, but not this year. It helps that there is a boycott going on in support of striking workers in Topeka, KA.

I am wearing the 32" shorts. I haven't worn those in several years. I'd like to stay this way for a while.

Yesterday, our first full day in, it rained more or less all day. We had the fire going all day. It's foggy now, should burn off soon.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Duration: 30:40
Pace: 9:20
Route: Martin Point Run
Temperature: 70° 
Climate: beautiful
Mood: good

Yes, by the time we were through it had al burned away. And the temperture rose by several degrees. The boy and I are making plans to run the 5K on Saturday, perhaps his sibling will join us.

Distance: 1.5
Route: Treadmill
Tru by Hilton
Chicopee, MA

What do I do now?

Why am I running this morning? No idea. Because I can? Slow paced run, ended fast, heading down a hill. Opted for the city today. The boy inspired me, how about some inclines?

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 30:03
Pace: 9:41
Route: Boulevard Loop
Temperature: 72°
Climate: sunny &humid
Mood: all right
Weight: 173 lbs. (-0-)

Hey, you know that play I wrote a few months ago. to be performed in real-time while running? KrisP. Production has opted to produce it. Cool, right? I will keep you up to date.

Intake
Breakfast: coffee (2x), mini wheats w/strawberry & banana
Lunch: Southwestern salad w/ranch 
Dinner: TBA

Also, Coke, fizzy water (1x)

What's That Lyric?

Spanish Doors - Liz Phair

He wore fast street clothes.

These last two days I have been a) hungry and b) depressed. I know I was depressed last week, it took some time for that to burn off. Last night I was feeling ... useless? It's not an age thing, I have often felt entirely useless, my entire life. That may be the most damaging feeling for me to have. 

The best thing to do, or rather, the only thing I can do those circumstances, is to do something. Anything. Get away from the screen and fold laundry, throw out trash, organize something. Even thing I don't necessarily feel better, but it keeps me from feeling worse.

I miss people. I'm missing people right now.

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 29:58
Pace: 9:39
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 73°
Climate: sunny & warm
Mood: okay
Weight: 173 lbs. (-1.0)

I truly should not eat more than one slice of bread a day. But the bread she makes is so good!

Intake
Breakfast: coffee (3x)
Lunch: salad w/bread (ONE slice)

Snack: almonds
Dinner: TBA

Also, fizzy water (1x)

You're not alone tonight.

This is what it feels like to run.
Chased by a skinless demon.

Distance: 2.25 miles
Duration: 19:41
Pace: 8:45
Route: Horizon Loop
Temperature: 73°
Climate: hot & sunny
Mood: all right
Weight: 174 lbs. (-0-)

Intake
Breakfast: pie coffee (2x)
Lunch: ham, cheese & salami sandwich w/lettuce & pickle
Dinner: salad, bread, cheese & beer

What's That Lyric?

Fireworks from "In the Heights"

You are not alone.

Sneaking a run between the rain drops. What a wet month.

"I'm just an ally but I love this music." - Jim McGuinn, The Current Program Director said this today on "Teenage Kicks." Just a  passing thought he had.

But are we? Allies, I mean? Because we love this music? And what is "this music"? It is a question I ask myself.

Anyway, it is Pride weekend in the Twin Cities. Great playlist. 

Teenage Kicks - Pride Edition on The Current

I Want to Break Free - Queen

Bring Me Some Water - Melissa Etheridge

Give Me One Reason - Tracy Chapman

Young Americans - Tina and the B-side Movement

True Colors - Cyndi Lauper

Uptown - Prince

Rock 'N' Roll Suicide - David Bowie

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 31:00
Pace: 10:00
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 70°
Climate: rain!
Mood: gay
Weight: 174 lbs. (+2.0)

I have stopped logging my intake. And though a pound here or there is nothing to sweat, I need to keep up with this. We had a pre-supper cheeseboard last night, which was practically its own meal. Then I had a pair of brisket tacos, two drinks over the evening -- and just had to have a bowl of cereal before bed (I didn't). This was all after 5 PM.  

Intake
Breakfast: coffee (2x), banana, apple

Lunch: kale greens over rice, beer
Snack: rice cake w/sunbutter

Dinner: popcorn & beer (movie night!)

I need some of that!

What he looks like these days.

Exhausted? Maybe I am underfed? Anyway. Keep going.

Distance: 4 miles
Duration: 35:16
Pace: 8:49
Route: Cain Park Loop
Temperature: 73°
Climate: overcast & hot
Mood: good
Weight: 172 lbs. (-1.0)

Run with the boy. Hot and humid, but check that pace. Great partner run.

God, I am sweating like an animal that sweats a lot.

It's brutal out here.

Still feeling dead inside. Yesterday I was waiting to get an e-check and I started feeling this tightness in my, I couldn't take a deep breath with feelling it. Not a sensation you want to have. I don't have it today. Slow-motion heart attack?

Seriously. I can't even walk. I feel weak. And my chest still hurts. I do not feel like running. I am just tired. Unhappy and tired. I keep crying. I have been working so hard to see the light, but I keep being shown the darkness.

I want to run, but I am unable to run. I feel like running would ne hadr, like it was Sunday, and not get any easier. This is what it felt like leading up to - and including - the Chicago Marathon. I did not want to run, and it was so hard to run. But I ran, anyway.

Okay. Well? Fuck.

Distance: 3.65 miles
Duration: 37:55
Pace: 10:23
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Climate: overcast & humid
Mood: bad
Weight: 173 lbs. (-3.5)

Grueling. But enjoyable. So there's that.

This will pass away.

Sometimes I am tempted to ask for help on Facebook. I wish I wouldn't do that. I post things but then delete them It's not what that place is for. God, I hate Facebook. 

What a cold and dull rainy day. Where on earth is the sun hid away?

Seriously, though. This day can suck a dick.

I wish there was someone who could help me. But I'm really the only person who can do that.

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 32:39
Pace: 10:32
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 70°
Climate: overcast and cool
Mood: not good
Weight: 176.5 lbs. (+2.5)

Did that help? No idea. I still feel terrible. Lead-footed and miserable. But the music was good. I requested one of these. Guess which one.

Erie Effusion - Live on WRUW

I Don't Want Your Love (Shep Pettibone 7") - Duran Duran

Like the Weather - 10,000 Maniacs

Everyone a Puzzle Lover - 10,000 Maniacs

Rain - Tones On Tail

Mirror People (Slow Version) - Love and Rockets

Ball of Confusion - Love and Rockets

I'm exhausted. Why am I so exhausted?

I'm free to do what I want, any old time.

Huh. Guess I need new shoes.

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 29:15
Pace: 9:25
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 73°
Climate: overcast & hot
Mood: all right
Weight: 174 lbs. (-0-)

Intake
Breakfast: coffee (2x)
Lunch: roast beef & cheese on seed bread, cherries

Snack: chocolate rice cake w/sunbutter
Dinner: pasta w/sweet pepper & fake sausage sauce 

Treat: candy bar

Also, fizzy water (2x), Old Fashioned (1.5x)

What's That Lyric?

I'm Free - Soup Dragons

Thank you for fine times.

Such a day, more different work in the past two days than I have done in some time. Preparing the rehearsal space, and editing residency materials. Researching and writing posts ... and dreaming. I took a brief, afternoon nap, only to wake to the sky darkening, and a storm rolling in. It was as though the day was over, but it was not. The storm came, I sat on the porch and took it in. It briefly passed, and I read for a while, my heart full of life. Of desire. Of ideas. I am troubled but I am amazed. I wonder. I have little idea what to do next, but I have a need. I wonder what will happen.

Distance: 4.25 miles
Duration: 40:21
Pace: 9:29
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 75°
Climate: overcast, stormy & humid
Mood: good
Weight: 174 lbs. (-1.0)

Liberty - Duran Duran (1990)
Violence of Summer (Love's Taking Over)

Liberty

Hothead

Serious

All Along the Water

My Antarctica

First Impressions

Read My Lips

Can You Deal with it

One for the ex-wife. This was DD's first album that entirely failed to land in popularity, at least in America. But it includes "Serious" which is one of my very favorite of theirs. We liked it, and we played it, a lot, during our first summer togther. We thought we were adults or something. Apparently, so did they.

Tuesday Intake
Breakfast: coffee (2x), min wheats w/milk & banana

Coffee break: latte
Lunch: wine gums (oof, big sugar day)
Dinner: carmelized cabbage w/spicy tomato & quinoa, beer (1x)

Also, fizzy water (2x)

Wednesday Intake
Breakfast: two eggs, seed toast w/butter & jam
Lunch: Coca-cola, apple
Dinner: coconut & greens over rice

You know me and I'm on the right track.

Nina Simone
"Summer of Soul" (2021)

Big holiday weekend! I am a little weak. 

Distance: 4 miles
Duration: 37:49
Pace: 9:27
Route: Forest Hill/One time around the block.
Temperature: 75°
Climate: sunny & HOT
Mood: good!
Weight: 175 lbs. (-1.0)

I have a stack of shorts waiting for me to hit 170.

The Current A-to-Z Weekend
Sunday Candy * - Donnie Trumpet & the Social Experiment ft. Chance the Rapper

Sunshine Supernova - Donovan

Super Bon Bon - Soul Coughing

Superbike - Jay Sorn

Superfly - Curtis Mayfield

Superman - R.E.M.

Supernova - Liz Phair

Supernova - Ray LaMontagne

Superstition - Stevie Wonder

Surfin' Bird - The Trashmen

Surrender - Cheap Trick

Oh my GOD! That was crazy, Sean McPherson. Even R.E.M. I was rounding home when he put on Superstition so I went around the block. I had to, right?

It's a good life. It truly is. Remember that.

Intake
Breakfast: coffee (2x)
Lunch: baba & pita, spicy cauliflower, banana

Snack: watermelon
Dinner: popcorn, candy & beer

Also, fizzy water (3x)

It's easier to run away.

We got free Bob Feller jerseys!

What a week! A long, challenging week. But also, a week of revelation and discovety. That's good, you know?

A few ngihts ago I dreamed I was running a marathon. But this was no ordinary race. The route led me up mountains and across giant misshapen stone sculptures. It should have been a difficult trek, but I was doing very well, fleet of foot and remarkably agile.

I was also, I was informed, in the lead! In a marathon? Amazing! There was, however, a blonde man following close behind me, and so it was no longer enough to run. I had to maintain my lead.

Then there was a place where the stone beneath my feet broke through and I fell, maybe fifteen or twenty feet, straight down. I feared I might break a leg, or damage the bones in my feet. But I landed soft, cushioned by the springy bending of my amazing knees. I was okay! But I had been overtaken by the blonde runner.

When I got out from under this giant stone mountain, I found myself in a middle school library, one that was very crowded. I didn’t know which was to turn or how to get out. It was clear the blonde man had made it through, but I could not. There was a conveyor belt for books, but I could not fit onto them. I could not make my way through the library. I was increasingly distressed as I ran through stacks and time passed and I was stuck in this labyrinthine building.

Eventually, a fun size candy bar appeared in my pocket and it read “Congratulations!” on the label but it wasn’t for me. Rather, it was an announcement that the blonde man had crossed the finish line, and I felt defeated. 

A version of this tale appears in my blog, Cleveland Centennial.

Distance: 3.6 miles
Duration: 34:46

Pace: 9:39

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 75°
Climate: sunny & bright
Mood: good, dammit!
Weight: 176 lbs. (-1.0)

I ate all teh things the past few days, steak, fish & chips, a hot dog. It's a holiday weekend, and I have been enjoying myself, but not stuffing myself.

The Current A-to-Z Weekend

Make It Better - Anderson Paak ft. Smokey Robinson

Make Me Feel - Janelle Monae

Make You Better - The Decemberists

Makes No Sense at All * - Husker Du

Making Time - The Creation

Malamenta (Cap.1 Augurio) - Rosalia

Mama Said Knock You Out - LL Cool J

Man on the Moon - R.E.M.

Manipulator - Ty Seagall

There are seveal excellent songs which capture the melancholy and joy of the Gen X childhood. 1979 by Smashing Pumkpins, for one. In My Garage by Weezer. Grade 9 by Barenaked Ladies.

Man on the Moon is not one of these songs. God, "Automatic For the People" ruined that band.

Seriously, I am disturbed. That was a nearly perfect running playlist. Should have played any version of Mama Told Me Not to Come instead.