The written word is a lie.

Okay, here's a confession. And a qualification. I do not have a drinking problem. I have  problem with drinking. Alcohol has always given me a big headache. Always. I have often wondered if I have an allergy to the stuff, like an actual allergy. It makes me ill.

But I enjoy it. Thursday night I had two beers. One at eight, anther at ten. Two beers. We watched the show (Step Nine) got in late. Bed by one a.m.? I woke up at five in the morning, headachy and also shivering. I thought maybe I had Covid (I don't have Covid) and anyway it destroyed my morning. I was sick and in pain and couldn't pull it together until mid-afternoon.

Two beers. You think I'm lying. Two beers. This doesn't always happen but it happens often enough. I was talking to our eldest about it, and about my efforts at selective sobriety since early this year (see: March Mildness) and they said, maybe you need to accept that you can't have more than one drink.

They just said that, like that, to their father. It was so simple, and so straightforward and so helpful. And they're right. That is a decision I need to make. I am so proud we have raised such wise and thoughtful children.

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 28:42
Pace: 9:15

Route: Forest Hill Loop

Temperature: 74°
Climate: overcast & humid

Mood: good

 

Halfway through my run I got a call from James, and I took it. It was like running with a friend. Modern technology is cool sometimes.

 
Stretches: yes

Water: yes

Breakfast: coffee w/cream, fresh strawberry, raspberry, cherry, banana w/yogurt & sunflower seeds

Lunch: Ethiopian leftovers

Snack: almonds

Dinner: vegan “chicken” sandwich

Alcohol? 1/2 pint Guinness 

Baseline: 195 lbs.

Current: 172 lbs. (+1.0)

Goal: 165 lbs.

Okay, this is where I lose it. Bad habits, eating whatever. Let’s keep it together this time.

It's Dare!

Beautiful run with the kids down the South Green bike path, and then onto the campus, weaving our way through Old South and through a new(ish) park on West Green. I called it the Hammock Park, Zelda says that's what everybody else calls it.

Distance: 2 miles

Duration: 20:31
Pace: 10:07

Route: Emeriti Loop

Temperature: 63°
Climate: gorgeous

Mood: wonderful

2005 Playlist

DARE - Gorillaz

Every Day is Exactly The Same - Nine Inch Nails

Don't Fear the Reaper - Caesars

Marvo Ging - The Chemical Brothers

Love Will Tear Us Apart - Fall Out Boy

What was 2005? Our son was born, he who lived. Broke my foot. Merry Wives of Windsor. Officiated my first wedding.

 
Stretches: yes
Abdominals: 90 sec. (2x)

Upper body: 5 (2x)
Water: yes

Breakfast: coffee w/cream, Easter chocolate (2 pc.)

Lunch: cold BBQ ribs, more candy

Post-Run Brew: Christmas Ale

Dinner: popcorn, Dr. Pepper

Nightcap: red wine

Running around to get away.

Summer aproaches. The boy had his first Jazz Night last night, as a junior. Quarantine killed his first two opportunitites. Let's just say he has not been wasting time. Last night they started with Sing Sing Sing, and he Krupa'ed the living shit out of that. I wish my dad could have been there, he would have had the time of his life.

The eldest has been home (we ran together last time, remember) and their partner and it has been a beautiful happy week with both of them here. Laughter and events and movies and good food.

Distance: 3.75 miles
Duration: 36:16
Pace: 9:40
Route: Forest Hill Loop 
Temperature: 62°
Climate: sunny & cool
Mood: very good

Stretches: yes
Weight: 185 lbs. (-5.5)

Intake

Breakfast: granola, dried fruit, yogurt, seeds, nuts & honey, coffee (2x)

Lunch: Whopper, fries & Coke

Beer Hour: beer

Snack: apple

Dinner: Spanish omelete

Cocktail hour: Manhattan, popcorn

Big, strong springtime run. Lots of helpful bpm. Goslings in the park. The weather will not be an excuse this next week, and neither will school.

1984 Playlist

Robert Deniro's Waiting - Bananarama

Dance Hall Days - Wang Chung

Like a Stranger - Psychedelic Furs

Time the Avenger - Pretenders

 I Will Dare - The Replacements

Hot For Teacher - Van Halen

Wake Up - XTC

Aeiou Sometimes Y (full version) - Ebn-Ozn

Cue Fanfare - Prefab Sprout

Martin Point Run

Today is my birthday. We are on holiday. I am striving to enjoy what I consume, without consuming too much. Traditionally, I would be enjoying a consistent between-meal diet of a certain Frito-Lay Brand snack chip, but not this year. It helps that there is a boycott going on in support of striking workers in Topeka, KA.

I am wearing the 32" shorts. I haven't worn those in several years. I'd like to stay this way for a while.

Yesterday, our first full day in, it rained more or less all day. We had the fire going all day. It's foggy now, should burn off soon.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Duration: 30:40
Pace: 9:20
Route: Martin Point Run
Temperature: 70° 
Climate: beautiful
Mood: good

Yes, by the time we were through it had al burned away. And the temperture rose by several degrees. The boy and I are making plans to run the 5K on Saturday, perhaps his sibling will join us.

Father's Day Run

I feel more socially disconnected than I did during quarantine.

Distance: 3.15 miles
Duration: 30:47
Pace: 9:45
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 79°
Climate: overcast & HUMID
Mood: good
Weight: 178 lbs. (-1.0)

Father's Day late morning run with the boy. We used the 150-159 bpm list. Good pace. Easy. He is engaged in wrestling conditioning now. Already! And it makes him so glad. We did not allow him to wrestle last year. Yesterday was his two week mark from his second innoculation. He is vaccinated. We are moving forward.

Anyway, yesterday he did runs and sprints. So we took it easy. Maybe tomorrow we will pick it up.

Father runs fast.

Also, I got three new running shirts! 

Father-Children Run

If you know you know.

We are all off our exercise regimen, the wife reminded me to remind the kids that the three of us should take a run. So we did! A two mile run in the cold, talking about impending adulthood, piecrings, smopking, alcohol, divorce, all the good things.

Distance: 2.3 miles
Duration: 23:41
Pace: 10:17
Route: Horizon Loop
Temperature: 36°
Climate: cool & cool
Mood: very good

I am making plans to resume "year" runs in 2021, so you have that too look forward to. It requires all new playlists, now that I have moved from an iPod to Spotify on my phone.

Two miler with the boy. Good lord, he pushed me up that hill. My children outpace me.

Distance: 2.2 miles
Duration: 21:51
Pace: 10:01
Route: Horizon Loop
Temperature: 60°
Climate: overcast, very light rain.
Mood: good

I need a moment to deliberate.

Welcome home.

Long week already, and its only Tuesday. Made a girl cry at camp. I am a terrible human being, and I have no idea what this play is that I am trying to write.

I want to take a nap, but it is six in the evening. So instead I will run.

I need new shoes.

Distance: 3.31 miles
Pace: 8:39
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 76°
Climate: hot & beautiful
Mood: bad

Also, I am a fucking terrible father. I want this day to end.

Stretches: yes

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 163 lbs. (-0-)
Goal: 160 lbs.

What's That Lyric?
Uninvited - Freemasons

Still life.

It is autumn, what Tom Robbins called "the springtime of death." Saw an old friend at his father's funeral yesterday. We hadn't seen each other for nearly nine years, It could have been nine minutes. He wrapped me in a big hug after the service.

HIM: What are you doing here?
ME: Oh man, what are you doing here?
HIM: Does it get better?
ME: I don't know.
HIM: Don't say that.
ME: I'll let you know in six months.

After the reception I was compelled to visit my father. Literally wiping fallen leaves from my father's stone with my bare hands. I told him a couple things. I never thought I would do that, talking to a cold stone in the ground. It's a little dramatic. But I felt bad before and I felt better after.

Distance: 3.3 miles
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 50°
Climate: cool and clear
Weight: 169 lbs. (+0.5)
Goal: 165 lbs.
Mood: good

Writing two plays, and editing a third. It's the editing which has been giving me anxiety. I have been listening to suggestions, waiting for the clue, waiting for the right direction to drop in. Just started saying that yesterday, I wait for the idea to "drop in."

Last night I spoke with my most trusted advisor and she asked me the questions I needed to answer, and the answers came cleanly. They may not be the right answers, but at least I know what the questions are.

Feeling unsettled and listless, I invited the boy to come bike with me. I haven't run in a week. That was good for both of us.

And ye gods, when was the last time I quoted Still Life With Woodpecker?

A little wine and a moan.

Weather has been ideal for running, and yet. Since we returned from vacation, the days have been long and inaccessible, at the service of work, children and home. Baseball games, soccer practice, music lessons, tending the injuries, enjoying movies and television, and the company of friends.

But no running. Evenings end around midnight, the mornings spent either writing or sleeping in ... but usually sleeping in.

There has been yardwork, however. More proud of the front beds than I have in some time. Moved a ton (literally!) of earth last weekend, weeding and planting and making all nice. At least, in the front yard. Don't go in the back yard.

Sitting at my desk for eight hours a day, and not exercising, makes me torpid and dull. Again with the right vastus lateralis, always a pain when I am off the road.

Temperature: 77°
Distance: 3.25 miles

Better any run than no run at all. It's Boy Camp this weekend, I am about to pick him up from goalie practice and we are going to see opening night of Cleve Shakes Romeo and Juliet BECAUSE WE ARE CRAZY LIKE THAT.

Friday Night Playlist
Friday Night - Lily Allen
Bryn - Vampire Weekend
Smile - Lily Allen
Golden Touch - Razorlight
Shine - Take That
Pizza, New York Catcher - Belle & Sebastian
Henrietta - The Fratellis
Pumpkin Soup - Kate Nash
Not Big - Lily Allen

Senses working overtime.

Walking Warm-Up
Distance: 1 mile

The girl has had difficulty running since the last week of school. There was a field trip to a skating rink where she fell several times and her coccyx is sore when she attempts to run. We're looking into treatment, in the meantime she asked if I wouldn't join her in walking around the neighborhood route she has created for herself.

We talked about our plans for the summer, about Heights Music Camp and our impending trip to North Carolina. We talked about friends and enemies and how to deal with both.

This morning I rose not too late, not too early. Did some writing on the side porch, drank coffee,  and got a nifty new running shirt for Father's Day. And it's only just gone eleven.

Temperature: 68°
Distance: 4 miles

She and I are already discussing plans for running on vacation next week. She wants to run on the beach, and I remember too well how I overdid it the first day two years ago and seriously ripped up my feet. We will be careful.

Happy Hour Playlist
Happy Hour - The Housemartins
Oliver's Army - Elvis Costello & The Attractions
Senses Working Overtime - XTC
Oblivious - Aztec Camera
Think For A Minute - The Housemartins
All Together Now - The Farm
Stand And Deliver - Adam Ant
Poison Arrow - ABC
Caravan of Love - The Housemartins
Panic - The Smiths

In America, the world is neither football nor biscuit shaped.

Boys don't cry.

 This is my son.

A great Mother's Day. Yes, I made bacon dippers and the best mushroom omelette ever. There were soccer games and the boy played Brothers Lounge for his second and final gig for the spring session.

We went to Dewey's and I came another step closer to finishing the first draft (or sloppy copy, thank you, Mrs. Dawson) of a new work and then had to negotiate an intra-neighborhood conflict.

I made it through my entire childhood without getting into a single fistfight, and you can bet I did not accomplish that by keeping my mouth shut. I did it by walking away, every single time. I am not sure the same tactic is going to work for him.

Temperature: 77°
Distance: 3.25 miles

Another Solid Reason Not to Do a Mud-Obstacle Run 
Endurance races that involve electrical shocks, ice baths, and pools of stagnant farm water are acutely popular. No one tells you about the bowel infections. 
- The Atlantic *

* The URL for this article is a bit more direct: "http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/05/tough-mudder-feces-in-mouth/361588/"

Get it? SOLID?

This Must Be The Place Playlist
Dance Yrself Clean - LCD Soundsystem
House of Cards - Radiohead
Girlfriend In a Coma - The Smiths
Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa - Vampire Weekend
Modern Love - David Bowie
Do You Realize - The Flaming Lips
Boys Don't Cry - The Cure

While my blood’s still flowing.

Calves, shins and ankles very stiff and sore this morning. Hobbling around the house, making coffee and toasting bagels . No doubt the past two days I have been charging a bit too much, high bpm, going fast, lifting my toes.

Boy Bike Run
Temperature: 70°

Distance: 2 miles

Just on my way out to enjoy this amazing afternoon, the boy asked if he couldn’t ride alongside me. This does not make for a good run, as it involves running, slower, more carefully, fretting about him not pitching off his bike, and all the necessary walking up the hilly parts.

Of course, I said yes. Because that’s where the father-son talk happens.

Distance: 3 miles

Sweaty, humid, new scene idea for the children’s script, thought of a great bit for the private performance - because this is where the thinking happens.

2009 Playlist
Help I’m Alive - Metric
Hi Friend! - deadmau5 ft. MC Flipside
Pick Up The Phone - Dragonette
When Love Takes Over - David Guetta ft. Kelly Rowland
Rude Boy * - Rihanna

Good Lord, I signed up for a race for tomorrow. Totally slipped my mind.

One-half won't do.

This is me.

Since last Saturday night, my shoulders have ached, my neck has been sore. Not enough to debilitate, only to ... hurt. It only makes sense that it is psychosomatic, and yet, I do not know why. Things are good, at home, at work, in art, in all things. So why do I ache?

This evening we spend at my parents' in Lakewood, to take brunch at church with them, and then take my father to Talespinner tomorrow for a performance of The Emperor's Ears.

Temperature: 67°
Climate: cool and humid
Distance: 4.9 miles

Lakewood! My Lakewood!
Your mansions are so grand,
Your sidewalks worst in Greater Cleveland.

Nighttime run in Lakewood, the bunnies do not fear people the way they do in the Heights. A mottled cat, sprawled in the middle of the sidewalk, for me he could not be bothered. The midges had apparently retired for the evening.

It's My Life (Dub Mix) Playlist
It's My Life (Dub Mix) - Liquid People vs. Talk Talk
I Get Around - Dragonette
Temperamental - Everything But the Girl
Why Does the Wind? - Tracey Thorn
Love Can Damage Your Health - Telepopmusik
Me Plus One - Annie
Kelly Watch the Stars - AIR
Believe - The Chemical Brothers
Little Fluffy Clouds - The Orb

Get DOUBLE HEART to FringeNYC

He whom life can no longer surprise.

Respite from the freezing temps, which should last all week. I hope this means more running. I feel huge, and having to bundle up for work only exacerbates this feeling. But so much to do now, grant requests to be created, this morning I had some beautiful pictures pop into my head for a script I have been working on.

Facebook is my Achilles' Heel, but if it weren't that it would be something else. I get so mad at myself for looking at it which I should work working, writing, thinking, reading or playing, but it has its uses. Not least of which is to share the misery.

No, back up, not true. Facebook is where I am exceeding precious and clever. The misery is to be found here.

Temperature: 39°
Climate: Wet, crusty, clear and slushy.
Distance: 3.25 miles

In SHORTS, son.

Not usually do I have the opportunity to exchange pleasant words with other runners on the run. We are running away from each other, or towards each other, or on the opposite sides of the street. And besides ... how awkward, to be running next to someone you don't know. What is the etiquette?

However, I was at the top of my street, and happened upon another fellow at the light. He seemed in great cheer, taking a run with his dog. I had to take off my headphones.

He told me this was his first run in ten days -- that was when he and his wife had a baby! The sleep deprivation had been keeping him from running and it was really getting to him, but not to complain. He said he even felt a bit selfish taking a run, but I absolved him. Healthy body, healthy mind, they need him in top form.

That is my job. I absolve people.

1972 Playlist
I Wanna Be With You - The Raspberries
Virginia Plain - Roxy Music
Watched of the Skies - Genesis
Go All the Way - The Raspberries
Suffragette City - David Bowie
Burning Love - Elvis Presley
Reelin' in the Years - Steely Dan
Day After Day - Badfinger
Rocks Off - The Rolling Stones

Ladies and gentlemen ... Mr. Eric Carmen. CLEVELAND REPRESENT.

It's all one.

I was flying solo this weekend - as a parent, not entirely solo. The wife was taking in a preeclampsia event in Chicago (in addition to the Institute and some theater) while I took the kids to two soccer games, three birthday parties and a circus.

I'm not complaining, we had a great time. Oh, and I was there when Josh ran his first 5K.

However, I have SO MUCH GOING ON - turning in my first draft of this season's outreach tour, interviews for a brief piece I am writing for Cleveland Magazine, there are two grants due by the end of the week, two more in the middle of next month and three more after that. There are actors to supervise and a car with a major repair bill hanging over it. Sunday night, and with all this hanging over me I was jittery, irritable and in desperate need of a run.

Running is breath and blood and life. God, it felt good - bless you, Josh, I needed speed and yesterday did not cut it as my weekly (weekly?) three-miler.

I have been reading Kathleen Rooney's book about modeling (review to come, I am sure) and that in addition to some other developments have had me scribbling all weekend, after the kids go to sleep. Running, writing, drawing. All one. All life. All as necessary as caffeine and pain medication.

Podrunner: 142 BPM - A Positive Spin

Distance: 3.25 miles
Temperature: 54º
Weather: coolee-cool

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Summer

WHY SO TENSE, PENGO???

I got a lot on my plate right now. For real. Not least of which is spearheading a summer arts camp for 50 9-13 year-olds (say what?) using only Scotch tape, 6 tongue depressors and my wits. But my wits are sharper these days than they have been for a couple years.

For real.

However, they are great kids - at least half of them were in the same camp with me last year - our staff is excellent and we have some fabulous ideas planned.

I leave town in a little under two weeks, so this is my plan for the next nine working days.

Monday - Friday
5:00 Rise & Run
7:00 Gather necessary materials for camp
7:30 Depart for camp
8:30 Arrive at camp
9:00 Camp
2:00 End of camp day, meet with instructors
2:30 Head to office
3:00 Write grants
5:00 This week: Head home, be Dad.
Next week: Head to Ali's, rehearse
10:00 Clean house, plan for tomorrow
11:30 Read
12:00 Sleep

"Being Dad" should include painting the kids' playroom, keeping the yard tame, reading books, and laundry. It's summer! I should be able to do everything!

If I can keep my head above water for nine (working) days, I get to go to Bermuda.

Listening to: PODRUNNER Classic - Countermeasures (151 BPM)

Distance: 3.25 miles
Temperature: 61º
Weather: cool & humid
Weight: 158 lbs.

I do not drink enough water. End of story.