The things you think are useless I can't understand.

I suffer to endure pleasant weather in the midst of winter and not have the opportunity to take a run. Time is so short, I have conspired to create moments when I can escape ... Friday night there was a retirement party for my wife's boss, last night a wedding. Weather remains in the 40s, who knows for how much longer. It leaves me depressed.

1972 Playlist
Reelin' In The Years - Steely Dan
Hi Hi Hi - Paul McCartney & Wings
Roadrunner - The Modern Lovers
Superstition - Stevie Wonder
Popcorn - Hot Butter
(No More) Mr. Nice Guys - Sparks

Waking from a short nap prior to the festivities, I was suffering from "brain zaps" for the first time since the holidays. This was very unpleasant. Gathering with a large number of people I did not know (I was the date, after all) in the lobby of the Natural History Museum for the wedding, I was overcome with great anxiety, overwhelmed by all the things I have to need, am expected to do, will soon need to do.

There's always something to do. I do not always feel so overwhelmed nor depressed by it.

However, the ceremony itself, pleasant, sincere, non-religious, was moving, special, unique, and lifted my spirits. We moved into the Sears Hall, which features special "evening" lighting. As a child, when there were snow days (often during the blizzards of '77 and '78) my mother would drop me off there by myself so she could attend her art appreciation classes at the CMA. The smell of the Natural History Museum (taxidermy?) holds powerful, positive memories.

Distance: 2 miles
Temperature: 36º
Weight: 180.5 lbs.
Weather: cool. calm. day.

Soon I was feeling more social. Martini on the rocks, sharing my familiarity with Balto, selling Cleveland to strangers, wine, dinner with dinosaurs in the Kirtland Hall, Coke and rum, I wasn't driving. Early to bed, long sleep. And we run.

Can you spare one dream for me?

Skipped a day. Getting so tired as the week has moved on. Would like more sleep. Taking a 9.30 pm run can be exhilarating, but it can also leave me wrecked for the following morning. Little writing going on this week. Hope to alter that tomorrow.

Kids spent the night at my parents, we took this opportunity to see WAR HORSE. Good movie, very well made. Pure Spielberg, however, all of your emotions handed to you in a neatly wrapped box. Still, as I have been diving into World War One history, the extremely realistic (as if I would know) battle scenes are thrilling and absolutely horrible.

The dirty-dirty girls love Benedict Cumberbatch.
1971 Playlist
Baba O'Riley - The Who
The Devil's Answer - Atomic Rooster
Oh Yoko - John Lennon
Fireball - Deep Purple
Meet Me On The Corner - Lindisfarne
Bitch - The Rolling Stones
If You Want To Sing Out, Sing Out - Cat Stevens

Distance: 2 miles
Temperature: 40º
Weight: 184.5 lbs.
Weather: clear & cool w/dry pavement & slippery crusty ice

Let the world know you're alive!

Actor-Teacher Rehearsals, Day Two.
1970 Playlist
25 or 6 to 4 - Chicago
The Love You Save - The Jackson 5
Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin
Canto de Ossanha (Let Go) - Astrud Gilberto
Spill the Wine - War ft. Eric Burdon
Instant Karma! - John Lennon
Mama Told Me (Not To Come) - Three Dog Night

We come from the land of the ice and snow, indeed. Day three, I maintain. We are having Second Christmas with my parents tonight, I was delighted by a new pair of manly, fleecy pajamas and a heavy pair of gloves. These are things I need.

Ran up Lake, across Belle and down Clifton. Two days of light snow have leveled out the horrible, horrible sidewalks. I have never had such a swift, enjoyable run in Lakewood.

Distance: 2.6 miles
Temperature: 22º

I know the end is coming soon.

Alicia and I at a special event with this guy.
It is difficult to keep up with all of the Cleveland "cupcake" blogs. A lot of them are about dining in restaurants I can't afford and bars I don't want to go to.

One of my hands-down favorites, however, is Poise in Parma, which is not only about running, but also Cleveland special events and great cooking.

Editor Alicia Hansen (no relation) and I worked together when she was Special Events Coordinator at Great Lakes Theater and she single handedly raised $19 million to re-imagine the Hanna Theatre. (Heather and Bob won't mind I said that, will they, Alicia? No, I didn't think so.)

"And remember: running even just one mile is better than running none. Get your running streak on, my friend." - Alicia

Thank you, Alicia. I was going to bag on day two, what with the snow and all. Then I read this comment you left on yesterday's post and put my shoes on.

1969 Playlist
Bad Moon Rising (180 bpm) - Creedence Clearwater Revival
Come Together (163 bpm) - The Beatles
I Want You Back - The Jackson 5
Friendship Train - Gladys Knight & The Pips
Purple Haze (Live at Woodstock) - Jimi Herndrix
TCB or TYA - Bobby Patterson
Grits Ain't Groceries (All Around the World) - Little Milton

Onto the 1970s. Hoping the snow doesn't crust too much before above-freezing temps later in the week.

Distance: 2 miles
Temperature: 28º
Weight: 184.5 lbs.
Weather: new snow, still soft.

To be born again.

Ladies and Gentlemen ... 45 Playlists for 45 Years.

1968 Playlist
Street Fighting Man - The Rolling Stones
Astral Weeks - Van Morrison
Since You've Been Gone (Sweet Sweet Baby) - Aretha Franklin
If I Had a Hammer - Leonard Nimoy
Folsom Prison Blues (Live at Folsom Prison) - Johnny Cash
Sympathy For The Devil - The Rolling Stones

Spring ends today. Happy New Year.

Weariness. I was looking forward to running, and had a good morning (no New Year's hangovers in this house) but as I geared up I started feeling a bit overwhelmed. I ran consistently, without stopping, but after a couple blocks I decided to take the 2 mile course instead of the 3 miler.

I want to run every day, every other day, get back into a rhythm, a need. And to have legs and lungs that can take it. I need to work up to this, lately if I try three or four mile runs, it wrecks me for the rest of the day. That's not how it's supposed to feel.

It is a new year, a big year. Time is an issue, but so is energy, strength, endurance. The exercise is supposed to make everything else possible, and not its opposite.

Every run I will feature a playlist for each year from the one in which I was born to the present, in chronological order. That's new. I am wondering if the forward trajectory of years (rather random annual playlists) will give me additional energy.

Wish me luck. And good luck to you!

Distance: 2 miles
Temperature: 52º
Weight: 180.5 lbs.
Weather: rainy, chilly.

I'm not easy to please.

I cough, I wheeze. Yes, I wheeze. I pant. I am overweight. I am out of shape. And my body does these things to remind me.

It came as something of a relief when my doctor reminded me that Lexapro can cause weight gain. I have been taking a mild dose since September of last year. We chose to cut that dose in half around six months ago, because I was having difficulty making it through the day awake. And about a month ago we agreed to end the treatment, to wean myself from it slowly.

I never chose to take antidepressants before. Whenever it was suggested that I should, the fact that I am an "artist" was always an issue. Would chemicals stem my creativity? Yes, well. Whatever. By late last year my production was near zero. What could I lose? And it helped, I could concentrate, I could work.

But this had to come to an end. Running used to be my exclusive exultation medication. And with this medication, I didn't feel I needed it very much. And that's not good. Not good for me at all. So I stopped, and the withdrawal symptoms have been very challenging. The kids call them reboots, a sudden flash in the brain, not like flash of light or pain, just a sudden disorientation that takes a moment to recover from. They are also called brain zaps, though I prefer to think of them as brain farts (or brarts.)

These have nearly faded, I felt them only slightly yesterday and today. So we shall see. I have already found myself enduring mood swings, but they are usually caused by something, they don't come out of nowhere.

And this is how I shall begin the New Year. Overweight, unmedicated, and with a lot to prove.

Best of 2011 Playlist
Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.) - Katy Perry
Na Na Nothing - Mike Doughty
Ok - The Beastie Boys
Too Dramatic - Ra Ra Riot
Break Your Heart - Taio Cruz ft. Ludacris
The Creep - The Lonely Island
Like a G6 - Far East Movement
2012 (It Ain't The End of the World) - Jay Sean
Firework - Katy Perry

Distance: 3.1 miles
Temperature: 27º
Weight: 182.5 lbs.
Weather: snot-like sleet + sub-zero temp = treacherous pavement

My feet are running like the wind.

Taking a gander of my runs during the second half of 2011, you might get the impression that I only run when I am away from home. Let's analyze this. You know, for Christmas.

Distance: 4.25 miles
Temperature: 48º
Weather: Beautiful and sunny out, too breezy and sun in my eyes back.

Beginning a couple months ago, my wife and I tried an experiment. We were each unsatisfied with how writing was fitting into our daily routine. Work and parenting takes all of our day. Really, it does. Maybe we do not manage as well as others, maybe we are poor at delegating between the two of us; we both like to participate in bedtime, for example.

Evenings were not working at all. I do not write at night, not really, not with any success. Blog entries, maybe, but that's not getting the job done. And my wife has forks in too many stews as it is, and she frets over those things at night.

So we agreed to rise at 5 am. Coffee, water, bundled up, each with our laptop, crunching through. And it has been successful, 90 minutes concentrating on the work a day. One of the days, when we're making the big money, there will be more time. But that day may never come. For now, 90 minutes a day, which is 90 minutes a day more than before.

As a result, bedtime is the end. I clean up the house before I pass out and she still sweats the details (PTA, public events for work, paying bills.) Where do running fit?

It do not. Not really. And this fall, I have been all right with that. I hit Marshall's for as many pair of 34" pants as I can reasonably afford. To wit; I give up. I am playing Hercule Poirot this winter anyhow, I do not need to be svelte.

And so, time away, "vacation" time means more time for everything, including me.

There is more to this story, that involving my mental well-being, peace through chemicals, and "brarts." But more on that tomorrow.

Best of 2011 Playlist
Ritual Union - Little Dragon
Life's a Happy Song - The Muppets OST
Rocketeer - Far Eats Movement
Wavin' Flag (The Celebration Mix)* - K'Naan
Somebody That I Used to Know - Gotye
Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO
Make Some Noise - The Beastie Boys
Like Em All - Jacob Latimore
Blue Tip - The Cars
Dynamite - Taio Cruz
Tightrope* - Janelle Monae ft. Big Boi