Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Take me out of this messed up world

Good news ... Josh updated the ATYD promo video:

Bad news ... my cat died. He was an 18 year-old cat, he had been struggling with failing kidneys for what seems like ages now. He's soiled carpets, spent evenings yowling me awake ... but this weekend he truly took a turn. He stopped eating or drinking entirely, wasn't using the cat box (or any other part of the house) and he was getting very wobbly. Last night the wife and I took turn sitting up with him.

My wife stayed home today to work and look after the kitty. We held him non-stop for the better part of the past two days, finally she just let him sit outside in the sun. He liked that. He always wanted to be an outdoor cat. I wish I had let him be one.

We took him to the vet at the end of the workday today. It was a testament to his illness that being there didn't send him entirely around the bend. I was afraid the doctor would suggest interventions, which I would feel cruel refusing - knowing full well that interventions would make the boy miserable beyond belief - but the doctor said his body was shutting down. We "put him to sleep."

I am surprised at how much I cried, and how I did not want to leave him. Honestly, I think there was alot more going on there than one dead cat.

I got that boy when I was only 22 years old. I've buried an infant since then. The Great Speaker for the Bereaved, but I still don't get it and I'm terrified. I'm afraid of my own demise, but the death of those around me has me far more scared.

2004 Playlist

Call On Me (Eric Prydz vs Retarded Funk Mix) - Eric Prydz
Broken Glass - The Crystal Method
Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand
Rocket Ride (160 BPM) - Felix da Housecat
Air - Owls
Future Sighting - I Am The World Trade Center
Beware - Punjabi MC ft. Jay-Z

Distance: 3.25 miles
Temperature: 57ยบ
Weight: 154.5 lbs.

1 comment:

Cat said...

Sorry about your kitty. I had one for 17 years and I know it's rough to know someone for that long and then not have them around anymore.