First to pull over when the atmosphere is less than perfect

The past week has made my head very unhappy. Whatever physical revolution I went through since the beginning of the year, I feel as though I have returned to where I began.

Spetember is a wearying month, but not an unbearable one. Waking very early to run, followed by long rehearsal days and few hours of sleep. The wife has been very kind, letting me sleep in the past few weekends, being with the kids so I can snooze peacefully. I've been feeling great.

Then the winds shifted, fall blew in and my head began to expand. Every day last week I had a fragile stomach. I would get very hungry, and gaseous, and then I would eat something and almost immediately feel queasy. I had some stoamch thing. I has just about filtered it out by yesterday, when I slept in a little, until 8 am, and was all headachy and miserable.

My dreams were odd, the actors' nightmare variety, tedious, so tedious, and I would wake with a furrowed brow. It had something to do with the four year-old nudging me in my sleep, it wasn't really sleep, that had a lot to do with it. In any case, it wasn't a good body day, though I ept myself busy enough to distract me from feeling truly bad.

I blew my nose around dinner, which threw off my equilibrium - my ears were out of balance, it made me dizzy and unwell. I woke feeling the same way. I just two two generic sudfeds, we'll see if that makes any diff.

Oh, and the running, you say? Yes, working on that. I had to take off at somethng like seven every morning this week, and by the time the day was through, I was too unwell to consider hitting the road.

My head started throbbing the moment I started, it would come and go. I would breathe deeply, regularly, I was trying to run fast enough that I wasn't thudding along, but not too fast. (Songs asterisk'ed below indicate my BPM.) At my normal 3.25 turn-off I decided it was either push on through until the headache went away or resign myself to a lousy afternoon. I am glad I did. And yet, I feel crappy. But not as crappy as if I hadn't run, and that's what it's all about, hey kids?

That's not even addressing the unholy mess that is my right foot.

Stats:
Distance: 5.15 miles
Weight: 170.5 lbs.
Stretches: yes
Snack: GU "Chocolate Outrage" (outrageously fetid)
Drink: Accelerade
Start Time: 12.00 pm
Temperature: 54º
Weather: sunny, cool & loverly

Playlist:
Glass Breaker (Force Mass Motion Mix) - The Crystal Method f. Charlotte Martin
Song for Shekter _ Fatboy Slim
Angst In My Pants * - Sparks
Head Like a Hole (Copper) - Nine Inch Nails
Is Chicago, Is Not Chicago - Soul Coughing
She Drives Me Crazy - Fine Young Cannibals
Doctorin' the Tardis - The Timeslords (The KLF)
Is That Love * - Squeeze
Yestreday Never Tomrrows * - The Stills
Canary In a Coalmine - The Police
Cooldown: U Got Me Up - Dajae w/Cajmere

Runner Down (NY Marathon)

(Low budget M. Doughty.)

I tried and I failed to teach you.

Daddy gets about ninety minutes of alone time on Saturday mornings while mom and the kids go to their music classes. I could have pushed it out to 5 miles or so, but that's all the time I get and there's preening to do. It's not easy to keep this shorn look alive. One day too many and I start looking shaggy.

Beautiful end to a difficult week last night. C. came over for a session of sketching, then she, mom and the kids contributed on making handrolled tortellini while I cleaned up - and there was "witch" cake as a surprise. Later I went with E. downtown to "celebrate" the 15th anniversary of the weekend we started our first theater company.

Fifteen years. Jesus. There was much drinking.

UPDATE: Following my shower I "shaved" the callouses that have built over the mosaic ... only they aren't so much callouses anymore, some have become scabs. There is actual bleeding, which I have been careful to avoid. I applied the Formalaz anyhow, which, as you might have imagined, felt like pouring formaldehyde into an open wound. "Felt like," because that is what I was doing.

The pain affects my entire foot. My toes instinctively curl in reaction to the pain, which affects the muscles in my entire foot. I limp. It takes a while for the pain to subside. It still really hasn't, some three hours later.

Stats:
Distance: 3.25 miles
Weight: 168.5 lbs.
Stretches: yes
Breakfast: eggs, beans & toast
Drink: Accelerade
Start Time: 10.30 am
Temperature: 57º
Weather: bright & windy

Playlist:
Sydney/Dangerous Power/Tracking Treasure Down - Gabriel & Dresden
Synchronize - Tomboy
A Tab for the Holiday - Lilys

The muscles flex and the fingers curl

I will die on Monday, October 7, 2047. Or says the Death Clock. I find this difficult to believe - dying at the age of 79 - as half my family has a history of longevity. The other half ... well, I don't know, Dad is adopted as has never sought out his birth parents. But he's 72 already, in spite of living his adult life on the heavy side and smoking until he was 40.

I quit when I was 32, if you must know. In any case, if you hadn't noticed, I run, which I figure will win back some of the days or years I lost through bad habits. Of course, they're saying now that having a son will give you an early grave, if you are a mother. But I act like a mother so I assume the boy will kill me.

I had a dream last night that I told someone I had once climbed Mount Everest. I can't remember what the point of the conversation was, and I've never climbed Everest, I've only read Into Thin Air. I think what I meant was I have run a marathon, which to me, once upon a time, was as likely.

Anyway, squeezed a fast one in (that sounds nasty, doesn't it) between bathtime and bedtime. I seem to have slowed from one run every two, to every three days. My left ankle has been acting up, I haven't been stretching enough before these evening runs.

Stats:
Distance: 3.25 miles
Weight: 168.5 lbs.
Stretches: a little, not enough
Dinner: spaghetti & meat sauce, broccoli, greens, kalamata olive bread with butter, water
Drink: Accelerade
Start Time: 8.30 pm
Temperature: 64º
Weather: warm & misty

Playlist:
Jazzhole - Free The Robots
Second Hand News - Fleetwood Mac
Street Life - Roxy Music
The New Style _ The Beastie Boys
Breaking The Girl - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Strict Time - Elvis Costello & The Attractions
3 A.M. Eternal (Live at the S.S.L.) - The KLF
Cooldown: Making Plans for Nigel - XTC

I ain't fooling, give me your refueling.

Fall has fallen. And so has my mojo. I've got the gear to get out there and keep going, but the wind and clouds and chill put me off, especially when I look around and see what disarray the house is in.

A half-hour run can take ninety minutes - suiting up, snacking, hydrating, stretching takes 30 minutes, running another thirty, thirty minutes to warm-down, log my run and rinse off. This is time which could otherwise be spent folding laundry, picking up, writing, for G-d's sake ...

In exchange for good health, a clear head, warm blood, lack of general aches, even distribution of whatever it is I eat. It is a worthwhile trade-off, except for the times that it isn't.

Then there's that thing about regular exercise keeping me from being maudlin, depressed and generally no fun to be around.

Today we attended the "Fall Party " at the kids' school. The girl scrambling all over the monkey bars, the boy kicking a ball all over the yard. My wife says I have turned our children into little athletes. I can't think of anything more ironic.

Anyway, I got out tonight. Getting chilly. Long shirt time, still the shorts.

Stats:
Distance: 3.25 miles
Weight: 169 lbs.
Stretches: yes
Dinner: salmon, cabbage salad, potatoes, red wine
Drink: Gatorade
Start Time: 9.30 pm
Temperature: 55º
Weather: very cool

Playlist:
Tell Me Why (Original Mix) - Supermode
High (Higher Mix) - The Cure
Born To Be Alive - Patrick Hernandez
Groove Is In The Heart - Deee-Lite
Whammy Kiss - The B-52s
Cooldown: Fascination - Everything But the Girl

My world's on fire. How about yours?

Distance: 3.25 miles
Weight: 170 lbs.
Stretches: yes
Snack: Balance Bare bar
Drink: Accelerade
Start Time: 6.00 pm
Temperature: 65º
Weather: warm

Playlist:
All Star - Smashmouth
Out of Control (State of Emotion) - Kenna
Big Apple Boogaloo - Brooklyn Funk Essentials
Never Coming Home (Gonna Live My Life Remix) - Sting
Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) - Kate Bush
Velvet Pants - Propellerheads
Rock Lobster - The B-52s

Put lotion on me

A friend of mine is working towards her first 5K - and a potential marathon. She'd never really run more than a mile before she started training in earnest a few weeks ago. She gives me periodic running updates, which are fabulous (she should create a blog.)

It feels really good that she chose to ask me for advice, I love being helpful. And it's so easy, there's so much basic stuff that you just never know right off the bat and someone needs to tell you so you know you are doing the right thing. Always drink before and after (during on long runs) and eat something before you go. You don't have to run every day, run every other day, rest is important, too. Things like that.

She's already pushed past three miles, so she knows she can do the run next month.

Speaking of friends, I was tracking R. in Chicago until the site crashed from overuse. I was worried, I can't imagine running a marathon in mid-80s heat. I took a run this afternoon in sympathy, it's ridiculous. The only thing that felt worse than running was walking, taking away the wind resistance I could really feel the surface temperature of my face and back.

I ran without a shirt. In broad daylight. I'm sorry, citizens, I went crazy. It won't happen again.

But he finished! 5:17.26, not the number he was shooting for, but that was before someone decided summer in October was a good idea. Nice for baseball, sure (even better if you live here, ha ha ha) but unhappy for running.

But he made it! Woo-woo!

By the way, Walgreen's brand toe separators suck. But kids have hidden the really nice ones I get at Target. They love those things. If I find one in the boy's mouth, I think I will vomit.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Weight: 167 lbs.
Stretches: yes
Mea; Ramen w/egg
Drink: Accelerade
Start Time: 2.30 pm
Temperature: 88º
Weather: bright & sweaty

Playlist:
Ohh La La - The Ditty Bops
Love Rollercoaster - Ohio Players
Kiss You Back - Digital Underground
All Night - Sam Phillips
Black Calfironia - Kaada
Big Girl (You Are Beautiful) - MIKA

Workout Music: Soothing or Aggressive?

Aggressive, of course. Loud, obnoxious, aggressive ... disco. To each their own. But still.

UPDATE: Jesus. I had no idea things were so terrible in Chicago, excuse me for sounding flip - I was just pleased to see my friend had made it across the finish line, if I thought his life was in danger I'd wish he hadn't. Apparently it was hotter than what I found on the Internet, I know one man died, and I hope those hospitalized will recover soon.

Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away

My thoughts are with everyone running the Chicago this Sunday, especially R. - who will complete his fourth marathon! In any event, it's supposed to be mid-80s, deathly humid ... with thunderstorms. Oy. Drink, drink, drink!

The Doritos ... must ... stop ...

WARNING: Disgusting Wart News

Wednesday I visited my podiatrist about those nasty things on my feet. So you know, I have tried Compund W (the regular kind, and the kind for Plantar warts which use pads) as well as the "duct tape" method. There was another podiatrist I had been seeing a few years ago, but he was way on the West Side and my visits were irregular.

In any case, nothing ever worked. The "mosaic" is on the pad of my right foot, close to the "drop-off point" to my toes. Treatment like duct tape did a treat on necrotizing the flesh underneath, but in that particular place it not only gave a burning sensation, but effected the tissue underneath, making my foot feel like it was broken. I was hobbling everywhere - or slithering. Like Byron.

More and more white, crumbly skin would come away, but it was apparent by the never-shrinking footprint that remained that I wasn't getting anywhere.

Eight weeks ago this new doctor prescribed Formalaz, which has worked differently than all those salicylic acid treatments. He says there is progress but I am withholding hope. I am supposed to use a pumice stone to strip away the callouses that the body creates to protect the foot in response to this severe treatment, but these callouses have gotten so thick I feel like I am not scraping away the dead, hard skin so much as buffing it to a shiny luster.

I'm not even using a pumice stone, I am using a metal corn remover. After what the doctor used to strip away the callouses, a scalpel and then a handheld sanding drill, I don't feel so bad about the harsh treatment I normally give them. He stripped them down to skin ... and large white footprints. Again, I don't see any progess. But he's really nice. I'll see him again in November.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Weight: 168.5 lbs.
Stretches: yes
Drink: Accelerade
Start Time: 10.20 pm
Temperature: 68º
Weather: warm & dark

Boy, running at night is so much more pleasant, I can't tell you.

Playlist:
All Good Things (Come To An End) - Nelly Furtado
Starbursts Over Orion - Modaji
Smooth Criminal - Michael Jackson
Mister Sister - The Tender Box
+ Smalltown Boy - Bronski Beat
He Can't Love You Like I Love You - Michael Stanley Band

+ This one's for you and all your Man-Friends, Mrs. Beasley. Thanks for reminding me that the old hometown really is a great place to raise your kids ... unless they're gay.

Nelly Furtado
"All Good Things (Come To An End)"

SPOILER: Final six minutes of "Six Feet Under"
This song is better than the one they actually used.

I've powers o'er a woman's body

Who inspired me to go running that first time? Kit Mambo - of course!

"With You I Can Run Forever"
from Animalympics


I'm just another in a long line of goons to admit he was an adolescent aroused by a cartoon character.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Weight: 166 lbs.
Stretches: yes
Drink: Accelerade
Snack: Zone Perfect bar
Start Time: 6.00 am
Temperature: 64º
Weather: warm & breezy

Since the race, I've have had an insatiable urge to eat nothing but junk food. It takes all my will and determination to make sure I pack a lunch to prevent me from visiting a fast food joint. Meanwhile, I really should stock up on bananas.

Playlist:
Kit Mambo - Graham Gouldman
Catapult - R.E.M.
The Sensual World - Kate Bush
Mirror in the Bathroom (Best of Music and Rhythm Version) - The Beat
Call Me - Blondie
The Perfect Drug - Nine Inch nails
There There (The Boney King) - Radiohead
Cooldown: No Tomorrow - Orson

Where do we go from here?

No real opportunity for a recovery run yesterday, I began suffering migraine symptoms in the late morning which would not abate until I took my perscription. If I had run, would they have subsided without medication? Sometimes they do.

Then again, sometimes they subside for the run and then come back with force.

Anyway. Next?

Distance: 1.62 miles
Weight: 170 lbs.
Stretches: yes
Drink: Accelerade
Snack: none
Start Time: 6.30 am
Temperature: 59º
Weather: cool

Playlist:
Big Time (Extended Version) - Peter Gabriel
Games People Play - Alan Parsons Project
Six Feet Under (Photek Remix) - Thomas Newman