I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you.

Homecoming. For now.

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 31:26
Pace: 9:40

Music From the Big Love (1994-2024)

For Your Lover Give Some Time - Original company of "Standing at the Sky's Edge"

How Far I'll Go - Auli'l Cravalho

Crosseyed and Painless - Angelique Kidjo

Wagon Wheel - Old Crow Medicine Show

Missing (Little Joey Remix) - Everything But the Girl 

The Luckiest - Ben Fold Five

Tightrope - Janelle Monae

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 73°
Climate: partly cloudy
Mood: hopeful

• London (2024)
• Cleveland (2023)
• Cleveland (1996)
• Cleveland Heights (2022)

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 167 lbs. (+2.0)

Planks: TBA
Push-ups: TBA

Sit-Ups: TBA

Update: 3:00 PM, flashing in my eye, not sure which, started as small arc before expanding into a large "c" shape and then disappearing without my noticing it had gone.

Nobody said it was easy. Nobody ever said it would be so hard.

It has been nearly a week. I want this to end.

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 29:21
Pace: 9:28
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 73°
Climate: cloudy, clearing
Mood: sad

Music From the Big Love (1994-2024)

The Scientist - Coldplay

Calling All the Monsters - China Anne McClain

Do You Want To - Franz Ferdinand

Make Me Feel - Janelle Monae

Fantastic Mr. Fox AKA Petey's Song - Jarvis Cocker

Shenandoah - Rufus Wainwright

All Night Long - Peter Murphy

A Tale - Cirque du Soleil

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 165 lbs. (-0-)

• Cleveland Heights (2023)
• Cleveland (2000)
• Orlando (2000)

Planks: yes
Push-ups: yes

Sit-Ups: yes

I don't want to feel like we're apart a thousand miles.

I love to make her laugh. I love to hear it.

Distance: 5.9 miles

Duration: 55:01
Pace: 9:19

Music From the Big Love (1994-2024)

Before Today (Adam F Remix) * - Everything But the Girl

No Tomorrow - Orson

Fare Thee Well (Dunk's Song) * - Oscar Isaac & Marcus Mumford

My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark - Fall Out Boy

Hell You Talmbout - David Byrne

Life in Quarantine - Benjamin Gibbard

Rehbab  - "Glee" cast

Put Your Records On - Corinne Bailey Rae

Should I Stay or Should I Go - The Clash

Chaise Longue * - Wet Leg

Wait for It - Leslie Odom Jr.

Flathead - The Fratellis

Run On - Elvis Presley

Honeymoon Suite - Suzanne Vega

Magical Trevor - Mr Weebl

Winnie the Parakeet - Sherry Crane

What Makes You Beautiful - One Direction

Party in the USA - Miley Cyrus

Route: Forest Hill-Cain Park Loop
Temperature: 81°
Climate: sunny & hot
Mood: not great

• Cleveland (1996)
• Cleveland (2018)
• New York City (2016)
• Memphis (2000)

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 165 lbs. (-0-)

Planks: yes
Push-ups: TBA

Sit-Ups: yes

Remember me to one who lives there.

July 2, 2006: Four our seventh anniversary (wool) my wife got me five albums that had the word "wool" in them, either the artist or album title. She got me the "TOCA Race Driver 3: Official Soundtrack" It's the soundtrack to a video game, composed by Plastic Man & the Wool One. Pretty sweet.

Distance: 3.1 miles

Duration: 29:58
Pace: 9:39

Music From the Big Love (1994-2024)

Bandits (Live) - Josh Ritter

Doctor Who Theme (2005) - Murray Gold

Old Town Road - Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus

Wise Up - Aimee Mann

Girl From the North Country - Rachel Stern & Company 

Devil Doll - Roy Orbison

Hips Don't Lie - Shakira ft. Wyclef Jean

Dead Sea - Lumineers

This Land is Your Land - Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings

Brimful of Asha - Cornershop

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 81°
Climate: sunny & hot
Mood: coping

• Tucson (2023)
• Clearwater (2000)
• Memphis (2000)
• Chicago (2017)

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 165 lbs. (-0-)

Pain on the top of my right foot, around my right calf, in my right glute. All down my right leg.

Planks: TBA
Push-ups: yes

Sit-Ups: yes

I ain't missing no steps.

A successful week, so far. Yesterday, I almost bonked after lunch. Not sure how to counter-act that. I get sleepy. I always have.

The best thing to do after work is be a homebody, to come home and do something that makes me happy to be home. Yesterday I made gazpacho. Today I hung a print of our beautiful Puffball, now we have two pieces of art created by the elder that adorn our walls. I miss that sweet kitty but what a treasure,

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 30:13
Pace: 9:45

There has been a great deal of snacking. Snacks are plentiful. I must be careful.

"Kiss Me While the World Decays"

(Music From the Big Love 2021-2024)

Disc Two:

Crosseyed & Painless- Angelique Kidjo

What a Day That Was (Live) - Talking Heads

Dance the Night - Dua Lipa

Bandits - Josh Ritter

Murder on the Dancefloor - Sophie Ellis-Bextor

Girls Talk - Tegan & Sara

Yeah x10 [MIXED] - Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross ft. Boys Noize

Take Me to the River - Lorde

Also, try as hard as you can not to lean forward. You're not in a hurry. You timed this perfectly. Stand up straight. Be kind to your back. 

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 58°
Climate: cool
Mood: all right
Stretches: yes

Water: yes

Pain Reliever: TBD 

 

Baseline: 185 lbs.

Weight: 175 lbs. (+1.0)

Goal: 170 lbs.

Breakfast: coffee w/cream, fresh fruit, bagel w/cream cheese 

Snack: Fruit snacks, Cheez-Its

Lunch: leftover brisket sand, baked beans, baba w/pita

Dinner 

Dark and getting darker all the time.

Every three years since we began courting, I have created a mixtape/CD/playlist for my beloved, which drops during the summer, usually in time for a big road trip. They are a chronological document of the songs we enjoyed together, concerts we attended together, movies we had seen together, moments that surprised us together, even times that we had suffered together.

The series is called Music From the Big Love, this year I created collection number ten. That's thirty years for those of you scoring at home (and if you are scoring at home, knock it off). The past three years have seen us from the closing of the quarantine through the emptying of our nest and so many other occasions.

Things that go to make up a life.

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 28:49
Pace: 9:17

"Kiss Me While the World Decays"

(Music From the Big Love 2021-2024)

Disc One:

Chaise Lounge - Wet Leg

Benny's Dispatch from "In the Heights"

America from "West Side Story" (2021)

Radioactivity - Kraftwerk

Wedding Song from "Hadestown"

Cracker Island - Gorillaz ft. Thundercat

Nothing Left to Lose - Everything But the Girl

Theme from Succession - Nicholas Britell

Route: Boulevard Loop
Temperature: 52°
Climate: cool
Mood: all right
Stretches: yes 
Water: yes

Pain Reliever: yes

First morning for the new year of the residency. Poor sleep (the cat visited me a half dozen times) but I rose early to have a run before we begin. I plan to continue in this way for the next several weeks. I hope that I do. Every other day, a run.

And the world has turned. Literally. I must run through the city, where there are lights, and not through the woods, where it remains dark. I will return to them over the weekend.

Upper body: 

Core Strength: 

Baseline: 185 lbs.

Weight:  174 lbs. (+1.0)

Goal: 170 lbs.

Breakfast: coffee w/cream, bagel & cream cheese

Coffee Break: coffee w/cream, oatmeal cookie

Lunch: sushi & salad, Fruit Snacks

Snack:: Cheez-Its

Dinner Prep: Nosferatu, almonds

Dinner: Gazpacho, crusty bread

I'm running out of time.

I'm still on vacation. I took two weeks -- one out of town, one in. And I feel guilty about that, which is totally stupid. And it's not like I'm just fucking around here, I am painting a room, I am doing housework. I took vacation time to work on my house.

Anyway, first writing, then running. Then painting. I had a nice thought while writing today, that it's my time. I have alwaysknown this, but sometimes I need to remind myself.

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 30:54
Pace: 9:58
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 73°
Climate: sunny & humid
Mood: angsty
Weight: 172 lbs. (-2.0)

Bit of a logy run, not too bad, just low energy. I think I should take a day off. Also, paint fumes.

"Pan-O-Rama!"
(Music From the Big Love 2018-2021)
Sex Machine - Sly & the Family Stone

Blinding Lights - The Weeknd

Under the Table - Fiona Apple

Fight For You - H.E.R.

Montero (Call Me By Your Name) - Lil Nas X

brutal - Olivia Rodrigo

Intake
Breakfast: cafe con leche* (2x)
Lunch: spaghetti & "meat" sauce

Snack: apple, corn chips, beer
Dinner: chik'n w/creamed corn, rice & peas, Manhattan

Also: fizzy water (1x)

*When I say "cafe con leche" what I mean is this; our first night back we needed half and half for the morning, but it was late and per usual, Walgreen's was out. We had just listened to the soundtrack to "In the Heights" and Claudia's suggestion Usnavi use condensed milk was on my mind, so I got some. It doesn't work by itself, you still need milk or cream, but it does make a sweet drink. When I run out of the stuff, I'll stop.

You ain't been up off the porch, now.

Distance: 3.75 miles
Duration: 34:53
Pace: 9:18
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 70°
Climate: sunny & warm
Mood: good
Weight: 174 lbs. (-0-)

Yes, it has been three years. Just as we departed Cleveland Heights for two days on the road, I announced a new playlist for my love. No more cassettes, nor compact discs. Just a Spotify playlist of music from the past three years.

Even as we listened it was being edited. Apparently Billie Eilish has been cancelled in certain quarters, I was unaware of that.

"Pan-O-Rama!"
(Music From the Big Love 2018-2021) 

Hell You Talmbout - David Byrne

Changes - Charles Bradley & the Budos Band

Gotta Get Up - Harry Nilsson

Old Town Road (Remix) - Lil Nas X ft. Billie Ray Cyrus

See You at Your Funeral - PUP

I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

Screech Out - post-curtain call music from "Come From Away"

Is Chicago, Is Not Chicago (Live) - Mike Doughty

Adore You - Harry Styles
In Quarantine - Ben Gibbard

J$ST- Run the Jewels

Intake
Breakfast: cafe con leche (2x)
Lunch: ramen (I really like ramen.)

Refreshment: beer, Manhattan

Snack: corn chips
Dinner: spaghetti & roasted brussels sprouts

Also: Fizzy water (2x)

Note: Hanging out with young friends means drinking more. Staying up late means eating more. No shame, just a reminder. I have hit a 174 pound wall. Just a bit further and I will be where I prefer to be.

Everybody's coming to my house.

Last night.

Long, relaxing day of birthday revelry yesterday. Did not stray far from the house, except for a walk out to Beatrice Bay.

As we were stepping down out of the woods onto the beach, I hear a muffled crashing sound. The wife said she didn't hear it, but it sounded to me a like a tree falling. Making our way back after some time out on the rock, we discovered that something like a tree had fallen, a very large dead branch lay right across our path.

I was a bit unnerved. That may have struck one of us, or both. She was not concerned. I remain so.

Distance: 3.5 miles
Route: Martin Point
Temperature: 72•
Climate: cloudless & sunny
Mood: worried

Fast run! The fog has burned off (mostly) and it has become a bright beautiful day. About time. My glasses steamed with sea spray by the beach, I had to remove and wipe them off. But it was a brisk run, I felt strong. Even yesterday I did my exercises. I will commit. I will work to achieve. I will be strong.

Exercises: yes

We had a full deck for wine hour last night, and lots of things to eat. The wife made spaghetti and meatballs and a beautiful carrot cake. Michele and her family were present for dinner, of course, and also children of my cousins; Nathan his family -- and Anne, who we happened to run into Wednesday at Round Top. Incredible! I have not seen Anne in perhaps twenty years. Thanks to Facebook, we recognized each other.

So, there's that, Facebook. Thanks.

"We'll Figure It Out"
(Music From the Big Love 2015-2018)

Disc Two:
Dead Sea - The Lumineers
Shape of You - Ed Sheeran
Want You Back - HAIM
tonite - LCD Soundsystem
Remember Me (Ernesto de la Cruz) - Benjamin Bratt & Company
The Way - Fastball
He's a Rebel - The Crystals
The Crown Main Title - Hans Zimmer
All the Stars - Kendrick Lamar ft. SZA
Everybody's Coming to My House - David Byrne
Make Me Feel - Janelle Monáe
Heaven On Their Minds - Brandon Victor Dixon & Company
Bad Bad News - Leon Bridges
This Is America - Childish Gambino
Remember Me (Lullaby) - Gael García Bernal, Libertad Bernal & Gabriella Flores

Disc One yesterday.

Oh, and I got tickets to see David Byrne!

Look up here. I'm in Heaven.

This is 50.

The week has been damp. A damp, foggy week. Not particularly cold, but absent the sun it feels cooler than it is. Nice to sleep with the windows open, with just a sheet. To listen to the rain on the roof. The dreams this week have been deep and faraway. Animals and adventures. No idea of what, where or when.

Today is my birthday. Please enjoy the new banner, incorporating a photo by Amy Arbus. We move on.

Prepared dinner last night, it was aggravating, there is no counter top at the proper height, I have to bend over to chop. Even in the car, running some errands during the afternoon, there was pain on my left side. I did exercises after dinner, resting overnight has quelled the pain, but it lingers.

I intend to do exercises every day. I have to do them every day. I do not wish to do them every day. I want the pain to stop.

Distance: 3.5 miles
Pace: 8:37
Route: Martin Point
Temperature: 68•
Climate: misty & cool
Mood: decent

Good run, brisk. Mornings you run into people you know! Mom was headed back from a walk in the woods as I hit the first hill, I passed my cousin Nathan on my way back from the turnaround just after Camp Evergreen. There's a little pain, but it felt good to move and to move swiftly.

Foggy, moody, breezy, nice. They say there will be a party this evening. I wonder if it will be indoor or out.

Exercises: yes, god dammit

Three years after we started dating, I gifted my (then) girlfriend with a cassette of songs commemorating our time together. I was unaware at that time that I had begun a triennial ritual.

Included were not just pop songs from the era -- songs we both liked, not just me -- but also clips from films we had seen together, scores from dance concerts or songs that were used in plays we had seen (not produced, but had attended together, in the audience.) They did not need to be contemporary, they could be from the past as long as they had relevance to us.

This worked well from 1994 to 1997, and from 1997 to 2000. But what happens when your life takes some unfortunate turns? When you lose a child or your nation is lunged into chaos? It turns out there are songs for that, too.

She received a new set of discs as we set out Saturday morning, and that was intense. So much loss. But also, so much life.

"We'll Figure It Out"
(Music From the Big Love 2015-2018)

Disc One:
Hello - Adele
Lazarus - David Bowie
Stardust (Live at Oberlin) - Dave Brubeck
While My Guitar Gently Weeps - Tom Petty, Jeff Lynne, Steve Winwood, Dhani Harrison & Prince
Wait For It - Leslie Odom Jr. & Company
Come To the Fun Home - Sydney Lucas & Company
Should I Stay Or Should I Go - The Cash
Hallelujah - Kate McKinnon
Immigrats (We Get the Job Done) -  K'naan, Riz Ahmed, Residente, Snow Tha Product, K'naan, Snow Tha Product, Riz MC & Residente
How Far I'll Go - Auli'i Cravalho
Careless Whisper (Live at Mountain Winery) - Ben Fold & Rufus Wainwright
COH-CAINE - Stilly Dan

Disco Two tomorrow.