Look up here. I'm in Heaven.

This is 50.

The week has been damp. A damp, foggy week. Not particularly cold, but absent the sun it feels cooler than it is. Nice to sleep with the windows open, with just a sheet. To listen to the rain on the roof. The dreams this week have been deep and faraway. Animals and adventures. No idea of what, where or when.

Today is my birthday. Please enjoy the new banner, incorporating a photo by Amy Arbus. We move on.

Prepared dinner last night, it was aggravating, there is no counter top at the proper height, I have to bend over to chop. Even in the car, running some errands during the afternoon, there was pain on my left side. I did exercises after dinner, resting overnight has quelled the pain, but it lingers.

I intend to do exercises every day. I have to do them every day. I do not wish to do them every day. I want the pain to stop.

Distance: 3.5 miles
Pace: 8:37
Route: Martin Point
Temperature: 68•
Climate: misty & cool
Mood: decent

Good run, brisk. Mornings you run into people you know! Mom was headed back from a walk in the woods as I hit the first hill, I passed my cousin Nathan on my way back from the turnaround just after Camp Evergreen. There's a little pain, but it felt good to move and to move swiftly.

Foggy, moody, breezy, nice. They say there will be a party this evening. I wonder if it will be indoor or out.

Exercises: yes, god dammit

Three years after we started dating, I gifted my (then) girlfriend with a cassette of songs commemorating our time together. I was unaware at that time that I had begun a triennial ritual.

Included were not just pop songs from the era -- songs we both liked, not just me -- but also clips from films we had seen together, scores from dance concerts or songs that were used in plays we had seen (not produced, but had attended together, in the audience.) They did not need to be contemporary, they could be from the past as long as they had relevance to us.

This worked well from 1994 to 1997, and from 1997 to 2000. But what happens when your life takes some unfortunate turns? When you lose a child or your nation is lunged into chaos? It turns out there are songs for that, too.

She received a new set of discs as we set out Saturday morning, and that was intense. So much loss. But also, so much life.

"We'll Figure It Out"
(Music From the Big Love 2015-2018)

Disc One:
Hello - Adele
Lazarus - David Bowie
Stardust (Live at Oberlin) - Dave Brubeck
While My Guitar Gently Weeps - Tom Petty, Jeff Lynne, Steve Winwood, Dhani Harrison & Prince
Wait For It - Leslie Odom Jr. & Company
Come To the Fun Home - Sydney Lucas & Company
Should I Stay Or Should I Go - The Cash
Hallelujah - Kate McKinnon
Immigrats (We Get the Job Done) -  K'naan, Riz Ahmed, Residente, Snow Tha Product, K'naan, Snow Tha Product, Riz MC & Residente
How Far I'll Go - Auli'i Cravalho
Careless Whisper (Live at Mountain Winery) - Ben Fold & Rufus Wainwright
COH-CAINE - Stilly Dan

Disco Two tomorrow.