It's brutal out here.

Still feeling dead inside. Yesterday I was waiting to get an e-check and I started feeling this tightness in my, I couldn't take a deep breath with feelling it. Not a sensation you want to have. I don't have it today. Slow-motion heart attack?

Seriously. I can't even walk. I feel weak. And my chest still hurts. I do not feel like running. I am just tired. Unhappy and tired. I keep crying. I have been working so hard to see the light, but I keep being shown the darkness.

I want to run, but I am unable to run. I feel like running would ne hadr, like it was Sunday, and not get any easier. This is what it felt like leading up to - and including - the Chicago Marathon. I did not want to run, and it was so hard to run. But I ran, anyway.

Okay. Well? Fuck.

Distance: 3.65 miles
Duration: 37:55
Pace: 10:23
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Climate: overcast & humid
Mood: bad
Weight: 173 lbs. (-3.5)

Grueling. But enjoyable. So there's that.