I got a marathoner's pace.

Why do I run? Why do I not run? How much of what a person does or does not do on any given day is based on imposition, inspiration, or compulsion? Which is to say, what others require of you, what motivates you, or what you are unconsciously compelled to do?

The first is my job. We began residency rehearsals this week, which means I wake at five, and break at five, in the service of family and collaborators. The last is eating, breathing, but also washing, doing chores, engaging socially ... though these last could become the second.

For that second one, that is where happiness can sit, and also your unhappiness. Because it is what you choose. And if you do not choose, but believe you should, that creates anxiety and regret. That is where the shoulds dwell.

I should be writing. I should be running. Also, I should not be eating so much. I don't generally run a lot in September, anyway. But I do gain weight.

Distance: 4.5 miles
Pace: 8:46
Route: Hocking River Bike Path
Temperature: 85
Climate: hot & sunny
Mood: anxious

Okay, acupuncture. So, put simply, very thin needles were inserted into my flesh and an electrical current was run through them. It was not an unpleasant experience. But you do feel it, it's like receiving a deep tissue massage.

The thing is, all the different exercises I have been doing have done little to alleviate the discomfort and/or pain of my nerve issues. We are trying different things. The goal, as I am to understand it, is for the discomfort and/or pain to cease. Not to "become manageable" but to "go away."

I find it hard to believe this will ever be the case. But that's what the man says. We'll keep going.

Exercises: soon

Eminem dropped a new album yesterday. A lot of people are hating on it, but LeBron James is a fan, so that is what I am listening to today.

Kamikaze - Eminem (2018)
The Ringer
Greatest*
Lucky You*
Normal*
Stepping Stone
Not Alike
Kamikaze
Fall
Nice Guy
Good Guy

Justin (skit): Ha ha! Shady got some dude to impersonate Bon Iver! Wait, what? That's really him? Oh, shit.

Felt good to get back out on my feet again. Hot, sweaty day. The wife and the girl all came out to the bike path, we each had our own routine. After, I met with Dr. Condee at Eclipse Company Store, the catch up, stuff ourselves with brisket and enjoy craft beer.

He's a runner, too. But the past several meet-ups have been work-related, as in he knows lots of things and I don't know anything, and I have this play to write. Four years ago it was the Globe Theatre, two years ago it was wayang kulit. So we finally got to share a lot of stories about running after fifty, about injuries, incidents and near-death experiences. He's an inspiration to me in so many ways.