You're going down.

Runners should look like this. You shouldn't even try.
I hate to read about running. I think runners, writing about running, is tedious and boring. It's like how I felt about theater when I was a kid, I liked to do it, I hated to watch it. I used to think this was because I was arrogant, now I realize I was subjected to a lot of crappy theater when I was a teenager.

See my review of What I Talk About When I Talk About Running. Hate that book.

Jim pointed out a great article on CRACKED.COM. It amuses me that Cracked, which was always a humorless MAD Magazine knock-off, has morphed into a fairly respectable and often hilarious online source for pop culture commentary. The article in question is 4 Stunning Revelations An Idiot Has About Running by Robert Brockaway. It is funny, and also very accurate. Read the entire thing for greater insight, but here's the list for those who hate to read about running as much as I do:

#4. It's Not an All or Nothing Scenario
#3. The Clothes Actually Do Something
#2. Runners Aren't All Lying Scumbags
#1. It's True: Bodies Actually Are Capable of Improvement

True, as they say, dat.

Distance: 5 miles
Route: Neighborhood loop

Lord, that was awful. At two miles my head began to swell and throb, it was painful and very uncomfortable. Almost bagged at three miles, but kept going. Came home and put away two large glasses of water very fast. I am thinking it was dinner, peachy meatloaf and my special brussels sprouts, very salty. The wife says I looked absolutely terrible, or did when I came in. Much more relaxed now.

Still ... good run!

Temperature: 47º
Climate: cool and nice
Weight: 168 lbs.
Hydration? laws, yes.
Stretches? yes

Been having a lot of terrible premonitions during this entire training period, most of which deal with getting hit, maimed, crushed or killed by moving cars. Tonight I imagined falling in the crosswalk in front of a car that fails to stop at a red light, and feeling my tibias and fibulas snap under the weight of the tires, all four of them. That, and my ankles would be entire bent over, horribly damaging my feet.

I imagine myself struggling to yell out my phone number before I blackout.

It was a sudden, graphic fantasy, it made me gasp as I ran and cover my mouth. I wish I didn't think things like that.

99 Luftballons Genius Playlist
Der Kommissar - Falco
Luka - Suzanne Vega
What You Need (Extended Mix) - INXS
Rapture (Special Disco Mix) - Blondie
Drowning Man (D:Ream Ambient Mix) - Duran Duran
99 Luftballons - Nena
Tom's Diner - DNA ft. Suzanne Vega
Here Comes the Rain Again - Eurythmics

Cooldown:
We Got the Beat - The Go-Go's

I miss Falco.