Six rings and I rise.*

It me.

Mornings are cold. The big snow has not arrived yet, but it will, and a deep freeze, that's coming, too. I keep misplacing things, a hat here, my gloves there. Hate cold hands.

As I exercise, I need to remember to stand up straight. There is a desire to collapse, to pull my chin down, against the cold. But even indoors, in the hallways, walking down corridors, I need to keep my legs straight, not walk in such an S-curve. When I am an old man I want to keep my back as straight as possible.

Distance: 1.75 miles
Pace: 9:02
Route: Neighborhood Loop
Temperature: 24°
Climate: cool
Pavement: patchy ice, mostly clear
Mood: all right
Exercises: yes

There has definitely been an exchange here, between my mania for running and my rising every morning, since the summer to free-write for thirty minutes. Rising at five (weekdays) also means I am tired before anyone else in the house, and as a result I have begun to go to bed earlier. Night runs are not very convenient.

But I should visit the gym more often.

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 178 lbs. (+2.0)
Goal: 175 lbs.

Brief, cold neighborhood trot. Now, some exercises, to keep that blood flowing to all the right places.

1968 Playlist
Magic Carpet Ride - Bedlam
The Memphis Train - Rufus Thomas
I Say A Little Prayer - Aretha Franklin
Daydream Believer - The Monkees
Folsom Prison Blues (Live at Folsom Prison) - Johnny Cash

*Five rings, actually.

You had better not go too far.

Running the track at the gym means, of course, hard wood floors. I was feeling this in my back and hiner, in my knees and ankles. And yet, working on machines was very useful.

Keeping up with the regimen was challenging this week. Now there is new-fallen snow on the ground, and a date with Fornadel to run in the park.

Distance: 4.3 miles
Pace: 10:13
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 27°
Climate: cold, but so sunny!
Mood: all right

Keeping your kit organized. The struggle is real. Trying to meet up with Chris, can't find my hat or gloves. Used a cowl and the summer running hat. What a clever monkey I am.

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 176 lbs. (-2.0)
Goal: 175 lbs.

A rather long run, for me, at this time. Met Chris at the park, ran around the park, said our goodbyes and headed home. Having a partner to run with does help push through those moments it occurs to you to stop and walk.

Returning home, my knees are singing. Not my back, just my knees. There is a (maybe) one inch layer o snow on the ground, just enough not to be a nuisance, but enough to make the going slippery, more arduous. Were we going a ten minute mile? Was it because every step we lost a fraction of an inch through sliding? No idea. We have have been helping each other go slower, which is helpful for both of us at this stage.

1978 Playlist
Who Are You - The Who
Shadow Dancing - Andy Gibb
Last Dance - Donna Summer
Crawling to the USA - Elvis Costello & The Attraction
Lip Service - Elvis Costello & The Attractions
Le Freak - Chic
Love The Nightlife (Disco 'Round) - Alicia Bridges

No one loses two pounds after heading to MELT the night before. Doesn't happen, don't believe it.

Also, I totally don't have cancer.

Visit my Team Challenge Crohn's & Colitis page and support my bid for the Chicago Marathon!

Look at me, I'm happy.

Gym Pro: Moderate temperature on a cold rainy day, no inclines.

Gym Con: BORING.

Distance: 3 miles
Route: Rec Center
Mood: all right, actually
Exercises: yes

Visited a urologist, on my doctor's recommendation. Still waiting for the results. They may be not good or very not  good or nothing at all. WebMD says I have cancer.

And if you think I think that's a joke, you are terribly mistaken. Welcome to the fifties.

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 178 lbs. (-0.5)
Goal: 175 lbs.

The boy and I went to the gym, him working out with his arm cast, me making my way around the track. Between each mile I did a few reps at a few machines, which is a good thing to do.

1988 Playlist
Wild Wild West - Kool Moe Dee
Pop Song 89 (acoustic) - R.E.M.
Don't Worry Be Happy - Boby McFerrin
Birth, School, Work Death - The Godfathers
Suedehead - Morrissey
Goodbye Sunday - Everything But the Girl
Walk the Dinosaur - Was Not Was

Visit my Team Challenge Crohn's & Colitis page and support my bid for the Chicago Marathon!

Let your spine unwind, just take a risk.

Buckle fracture.

Okay, so. The boy broke his wrist snowboarding.

Four years ago he tore a muscle in his backside while playing soccer, also during the winter. He was sidelined for months, and it was distressing to me, to see him in a wheelchair.

His injury today means no more snowboarding -- ski club starts Tuesday, that's out the window. So, too, wrestling, he hasn't even participated in a meet yet.

Also, his rock set, scheduled for next weekend. God, I think I'm more depressed about that than anyone. I am very glad his injury is minor.

Thursday night, when he was telling me about snowboarding (which he has recently come to love) all I could think about was how horribly he could get hurt.

Well, he's not hurt horribly. But he's done so much great work to prepare for all of these activities, and now he won't get to participate in them, it worries me how this might trouble him.

Breathe, comfort, be there. All may be well.

Distance: 3.15 miles
Pace: 9:19
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 43°
Climate: cool, sundown run
Mood: all right

Breathing easier ... one of my co-workers told me the other day about the difficulties she is having becoming a "runner." She's an award-winning high school athlete, she competed in college. She's a sprinter. Running long distances seems entirely bizarre to her, and trying to run a casual pace has proved challenging. It doesn't make sense.

I have never been a sprinter. But there is a pace I am accustomed to, and going slower is also very difficult to me. I can relate. I was trying very, very hard tonight to take it easy, and I still ended up in a run.

Well, if that's how it goes, what else can I do?

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 178.5 lbs. (+0.5)
Goal: 175 lbs.

1998 Playlist
Body Movin' (Fatboy Slim Remix) - Beastie Boys
Pretty Fly (For a White Guy - The Offspring
Distance - Mors Syphilitica
So Far I Have Not Found the Science - Soul Coughing
Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) - Green Day
Girlfriend - Billie Piper
Right Here, Right Now - Fatboy Slim
Hoodoo Voodoo - Billy Bragg & Wilco

Like a ghost.

Yeah, we saw this.

Diet is an issue right now. I tried to swear off sugar, or at least allow myself one sugar a day (i.e., beer) as the consumption of sugar had become chronic at work.

I love my co-workers. And because they love me, there is cake every single day.

So, one sugar, Cake at work? No beer. Do I need that beer? No cake.

Now that we are getting back into rehearsal, I need to remember to pack lunch (not get carry-out) and to avoid whatever snacks are brought into the space. I mean, avoid.

Yeah, that's impossible.

Distance: 2.45 miles
Pace: 9:01
Route: Lee Road Loop
Temperature: 32°
Climate: cold & dry
Mood: all right

Spotted an old man by the side of the road on his phone. There was dead deer in the street. I stopped to ask if he was all right, he said, yes, he was fine -- the guy in front of him hit the deer and kept going, now he was calling the police.

I said I was very sorry for his situation, but he seemed unfazed. Poor deer.

2008 Playlist
Halo - Beyonce
Spotlight (Twilight Mix) - Mute Math
Blind - Hercules & Love Affair
Machine Gun - Portishead
Singles Ladies (Put a Ring On It) - Beyonce
L.E.S. Artistes - Santogold

Had to walk about four times. Inclines. Slight pain in my hip. Breathe. Just breathe. We'll get it there.

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 178 lbs. (-1.5)
Goal: 175 lbs.

Thank you. Next?

At my fiftieth birthday party last August, Chris, whom I run with, and his girlfriend Allie, who I occasionally also run with, gave me a very thoughtful birthday present. They would pay the entry fee for any race in 2019.

Now, Chris and I have run a couple (miserable, but for the company) half marathons together. But he has not yet completed a full, 26.2 mile marathon. I asked if we could run one of those together as my gift, and they agreed. We all three applied to the Chicago Marathon. Chris got in, Allie and I did not.

However, there are other opportunities to register for a marathon, most notably to join a fund raising team, and I do love raising money for a good cause. I am very happy to announce I was accepted into the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation "Team Challenge" for the 2019 Chicago Marathon, October 13, 2019.

Distance: 2.45 miles
Pace: 9:12
Route: Lee Road Loop

So, yeah. I spite of my last post, or rather because of it, I will continue to run. Not only run, but to marathon. This will be my fourth. I think I can make it. For the first time I will have a partner to run with, too!

But why the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation? Why this cause, why this fight? That is easy to explain.

My older brother Denison has lived with ulcerative colitis his entire life. I have watched him struggle for those periods when it has been most difficult to deal with, but I have also heard his relief as he has told me about recent and increasingly effective treatment, advancement that would not be possible without support and funding.

That's why.

My lead donor, of course, is Chris Fornadel, ponying up the fee for the race to the cause. Thank you, Chris and Allie! But I need your help. Visit my Team Challenge page, and kick in for a great cause and to get me to Chicago on time!

Temperature: 36°
Climate: cool, light rain
Mood: determined

It is also the beginning of a New Year, and you know what that means.

Ladies and Gentlemen. 56 Playlists for 56 Years (1964-2019.)

2018 Playlist
The Spot - Your Smith
thank u, next -  Ariana Grande
Gold Rush - Death Cab for Cutie
How Did This Happen?! - Bodega
Damned For All Time/Blood Money - Brandon Victor Dixon, Jin Ha, Norm Lewis
All The Stars - Kendrick Lamar ft. SZA
Bad Bad News - Leon Bridges

Today: 179.5 lbs.
Goal: 175 lbs.

We eat what we want. We drink what we want. Holiday's over. Get back to work.

Hard run. Walked a great deal on the inclines, it's like starting all over again. It's about breathing. The lungs need to get back to their former glory. I do not like panting while I run.

Crack another cerveza.

I do not know where to begin, so I will just say I stopped running. That statement is as final as anything else. For twenty years, beginning on treadmills at a gym in early 1998 to the New York Marathon to happily exploring the streets of my city, to running with my children, I have been running several times a week.

I have been fat and I have been very thin. I have listened to contemporary music and I have been immersed in songs from the past. I have been injured, I have gotten better. I have always wanted to run, even when I didn't want to run, I wanted to run.

I haven't really felt like running lately.

Or maybe I have, I don't know. The sciatica/hip-and-ass thing has put me into a foul mood. If I run, I hurt. Easy as that. Hurt to sit at work, hurt to drive my car, hurt to sit i a theater and watch movies or theater. Not running, I do not hurt. At least, not often.

Also, I have been writing. Free-writing, every fucking morning. I mean, every fucking, goddamn morning I move a pen in my hand and write. And I clean house, I work and take care of my home and family. Taking solitary exercise time for myself no longer feels appropriate.

Oh, and I hate running at the gym. Hate is a strong work. It does not inspire me. It is not what I call running.

So, I have not made tracks in nearly two months. That's some kind of record. It's not a good one. I say all this but I am not okay with all of this. Turning fifty was not supposed to mark the end of my running days. I am supposed to run until I die. I have to run until I die.

Distance: 2.25 miles
Route: Hocking River Bike Path
Temperature: 58 degrees

It had occurred to me, in packing for the week, that I might run every day. Why not? I used to. What have I done instead? Worked on the draft of a new, commissioned work. Saw three movies. Spent long afternoons in restaurants with family, Cooked a dinner. Did a jigsaw puzzle with my wife.

Which of these, how many of these, should I have not done in order to make time to run? Any of them? How about none of them. No regrets.

Climate: damp but nice
Mood: determined?
Exercises: a little

The boy came with me, with a dirt bike, but I asked him to go on ahead. He's too big and strong to pace me -- he goes too fast. I had only planned to go two miles, but told him to wait for me too far out, I had to wave him back.

Starting out, my back hurt, that sorted itself out. I was just winded. I have gained weight. I will check in on New Year's, and resolve to slowly work back to 160. I assume that's twenty pounds. I haven't weighed myself in months.

Resolutions must be made. Big bad year ahead of us.

What's That Lyric?
The Spot - Your Smith