Saturday, May 14, 2016

13.1 Half Marathon Tips From A Complete Asshole

Over at the Andrew Runs A Lot Blog he created an inspiring and very helpful 13.1 Tips for a Great Half Marathon.

So this is my list:
  1. Every time you pass someone you get a cookie. Every time someone passes you, you give back a cookie. These are for real cookies, and you will be asked for your tally at the finish line.
  2. Be sure to look up and take in the beautiful Cleveland Cultural Gardens on Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., only you have to do that on your drive home because the Cleveland Marathon is a West Side deal. 
  3. The night before the 2012 marathon I ate a cheeseburger and onion rings at Bearden's, and yet the next day I totally crushed my personal best. This won't work for you.
  4. Don't pee by the side of the road. This is acceptable at the New York City marathon, but for some reason in Cleveland people will yell at you.
  5. A "Half Marathon" is not actually a thing. On any given Sunday I run 13 miles before church.
  6. Take two cups of water at each stop. If there isn't enough for the people at the back of the pack that is totally not your fault.
  7. You do not need to wear your bib number on the front, they tell you to do that so they can sell you crap with your picture on it after the race.
  8. Wear a Marvel Superhero branded shirt. That way you can repost their official photos as much as you like without paying for them. You may be violating their photographer's copyright, but they will be violating Disney's copyright if they tried to sell it to you.
  9. Hells yeah, wear the headphones. You paid a hundred bucks for this day, too.
  10. Speaking of that entry fee, bring your own coffee and pre-race snack. They charge you for stuff at the starting line.
  11. Motivational signs featuring misused apostrophes or quotation marks will be mocked.
  12. Avoid the hoses, they'll get your feet and then you're screwed.
  13. There are a million things that can go wrong. Don't let one happen. Good luck!
Here's my point-one: Now go back and read Andrew's 13.1 Great Tips, because they are sincere and helpful. And then have an awesome run on Sunday. It may rain, but we are all going to do great.

Distance: 3 miles
Avg Pace: 7:32
Duration: 22:38
Route: Forest Hill Loop

Training for the half marathon began on March 7. My father had died a little more than two weeks before, with all that was going on I had forgotten about the race, remembering pretty much that day. His picture keeps popping up, wen I am looking for other things. I still don't understand.

Yesterday Chris and I hit the Expo. It was amazing, he knew, like, everyone there. For real, that guy knows everybody. We got our bibs (he, 4911, me 4912) our shirts, bought some gels, at a bunch of free stuff, it was great.

Tonight, pasta. Tomorrow we run. This one's for Chris, because I wouldn't be doing this this spring without his encouragement, and all things considered I am very glad I am. So, for Chris. Chris and dad.

Temperature: 48°
Climate: cool and overcast ... but not rainy!
Weight: 161.5 lbs.
Mood: good

Teenage Kicks - Live on The Current
Radio Free Europe - R.E.M.
Kid - The Pretenders
Wave of Mutilation - The Pixies

[Live interview with Dave Wakeling]

Save It For Later - The English Beat
When You Were Mine - Prince

DID YOU KNOW ..? Dave Wakeling gave Prince the "rude Boy" pin he wears on the cover of Dirty Mind. True Story.

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