Showing posts with label solitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label solitude. Show all posts

Monday, August 31, 2026

Life's too short to be alone.

Team Feller
Friends asks, "How are YOU doing?"

I don't know how to answer that honestly. "I'm fine," is the spontaneous reaction. We don't want to concern anyone. But I'm not.

Spent the day yesterday doing housework. Also making cookies for the team, ice cream for the staff. I'm not even eating any of these things, I just want to provide treats.

Also, it's feels like work. I want to avoid not doing anything. I'm also reading, etc.

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 28:27
Pace: 9:10

It is hard to plan a run before work when the sun doesn't come up until seven. It helps when you wake up a full hour before your 5 AM alarm and can't get back to sleep.

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 71°
Climate: warm & humid
Mood: anxious, but determined

Songs For My Funeral
God Only Knows - David Bowie
Live and Learn - Marshall Crenshaw
Lonely Planet - The The
I Sing the Body Electric - Laura Dean, Irene Cara, Paul McCrane, Traci Parnell, Eric Brockington & the company from "Fame" (1980)
It's Not Over ('Til It's Over) - Bleu
Thank You For Hearing Me - Sinéad O'Connor

And then you die. What's next?

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 164 lbs. (-1.0)

Planks: TBA
Push-ups: TBA
Sit-Ups: TBA

Saturday, August 29, 2026

The worst is all the lovely weather.

Alone again. I think I'm going to be seeing a lot of movies.

Distance: 3.2 miles
Duration: 28:32
Pace: 8:55

And avoiding social media. There are too many other things to keep my busy, and frankly, it's lost its dopamine rush.

Still. Have to log the runs. 

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 66°
Climate: just perfect
Mood: all right

Gorgeous morning run, and strong. Just flew out of the driveway and kept it up the whole time. This weather.

Songs For My Funeral
Someone Great - LCD Soundsystem
Our House - Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
My Baby's Taking Me Home - Sparks
White Horses - Wolf Alice
Psychic City (Classixx Remix) - Yacht
Don't Think Twice, It's All Right - Bob Dylan

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 165 lbs. (-0-)

Maintenance. We go to a ball game today. Must be mindful.

Planks: TBA
Push-ups: TBA
Sit-Ups: TBA

Thursday, August 27, 2026

To call for hands of above to lean on wouldn't be good enough for me. No.

Tim Curry is Johnny LaGuardia
"Times Square" (1980)
Starting tomorrow, I will be on my own for a little while. Fortunately (I guess) I have a lot to do. I mean goodness, several productions, and the residency. And yet, terrible distractions. Grief, and a sense of sustained loss. Fear that nothing will be the same again. But when has it been?

Distance: 3.2 miles
Duration: 29:06
Pace: 9:05

Mornings when we rise before the alarm. When we write and drink coffee and answer questions and make plans. Would I prefer more time or more energy? I can work with energy, what can I do with time? 

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 67°
Climate: beautful
Mood: determined

Songs For My Funeral
Meet Me On the Corner - Lindisfarne
Why Should I Cry For You? - Sting
Change of Time - Josh Ritter
Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie
It's My Life - Talk Talk
Heartbeats - José González
All My Friends - Franz Ferdinand

Yes. The truly meaningful set.

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 164 lbs. (-1.0)

These are the days. The cool days of waning summer. It's supposed to heat up over the next week, but the mornings are still and cool. And so am I.

Planks: yes
Push-ups: yes
Sit-Ups: yes

Sunday, July 05, 2026

Nobody said it was easy. Nobody ever said it would be so hard.

It has been nearly a week. I want this to end.

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 29:21
Pace: 9:28
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 73°
Climate: cloudy, clearing
Mood: sad

Music From the Big Love (1994-2024)
The Scientist - Coldplay
Calling All the Monsters - China Anne McClain
Do You Want To - Franz Ferdinand
Make Me Feel - Janelle Monae
Fantastic Mr. Fox AKA Petey's Song - Jarvis Cocker
Shenandoah - Rufus Wainwright
All Night Long - Peter Murphy
A Tale - Cirque du Soleil

Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Weight: 165 lbs. (-0-)
  • Cleveland Heights (2023)
  • Cleveland (2000)
  • Orlando (2000)
Planks: yes
Push-ups: yes
Sit-Ups: yes

Thursday, October 19, 2023

All my senses rise.

Crazy. The wife has been out of town since Tuesday, barely two days. And yet, it's so strange. It's strange being alone. I do not care for it. It's okay. It gives me no joy, not for a moment. It never has.

Distance: 3.1 miles
Duration: 26:36
Pace: 8:35

Man. I wrote a sad little scene this morning. But is it trite? Is it maudlin? Can't know until I read it in context ... whenever I figure out what that is.

Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 49°
Climate: overcast & cool
Mood: good

Got to stop thinking, "It takes five minutes to get my kit on and step out the door." It takes fifteen minutes, sometimes twenty. Okay? Fifteen to twenty. Budget that time.
 
Stretches: yes
Sit-Ups: tbd
Planks: tbd 
Upper body: tbd
Water: yes

Diet: No greasy food today. You've eaten a lot of that shit this week, and you'll probably have more this weekend. It affects your mouth, only vigilant oral hygiene has kept you from sores.  Fruits and vegetables, that's it.

160-169 BPM Playlist
Moving On - BTS
Gangsta's Paradise - Coolio ft. L.V.
Everywhere I Go - The Call
Foundations - Kate Nash
The Adults Are Talking - The Strokes
You Better You Bet - The Who

Breakfast: coffee w/cream, fresh fruit w/granola  yogurt
Lunch: chili cheese burritos, Pepsi
Dinner: pasta & roasted vegetables
Alcohol? yes, I think.

Haw haw haw.

Baseline: 195 lbs.
Current: 173 lbs. (-1.0)
Goal: 165 lbs.

Writing: yes

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Your feet may take you far from me.

Halfway mark. Time to head back.
The wife took the kids on an overnight trip leaving me at home to make busy around the house. I would have gone, it would have been fun. But I have been out of the house for three weekends already and a) feel a responsibility to get the house in some kind of order before the school year begins for everyone and b) I have this play to write.

The play in question, a commission, has been holding me mentally hostage for several months now. I haven't written anything really new since last spring. Writing yes, but not "writing" writing. But finally, at last, as the deadline closes in, I am picking up speed, getting into the zone, choose your horrid metaphor, I am doing that thing.

Last night, as inspiration (and because it was on my sadly unfulfilled list of New Year's resolutions) I went to see a new play. So yay for that.

Band-aids: yes
Water bottle: yes
Snack: energy gel
Lip balm: check
Glide: sure, why not.

Little sleep last night, it was a bit on the warm side. Coming home from the west side last night I picked up barbeque from Hot Sauce Legacy and gorged myself on salt and fat and sugar while watching part of an episode of Breaking Bad before turning in.

I could have slept more, but am concerned about how warm it will get over the three hours I will be on the road. I will take Forest Hills before heading for MLK and the Shoreway, which means I won't need to go as far as Dead Man's Curve. Ditto, I will take the cemetery back. A different, more interesting route, I think.

Intake: yogurt, fresh fruit & granola
Hydration: yes
Stretches: yes
Upper Body: 90 reps

More weaknesses now, feeling it in my right ankle and knee, not only in my Achilles tendon. Something that lasts all day. No kind of hampering pain, just a reminder. This is before taking eighteen miles at once.

Memories of those harrowing four miles two weeks ago. That stuff can stick with you. Feels like that was the beginning of my troubles. I need to rest more, to eat well, to warm up and cool down more effectively.

Distance: 18 miles
Duration: 2:31:56
Avg Pace: 8:26
Route: To East 55th Street and Back

Soundtrack: The President's Summer Playlist: Day

Listening to the President's playlist it is very, very challenging to keep from having improper thoughts about the First Lady. Obama's playlist beats anything I could put together. President Scott Walker's playlist would be made up of rock acts who hate him.

Week Nine Total: 43 miles
Training To Date: 276 miles

Feast of the Assumption on Sunday at dawn smells like Court Street on Sunday at dawn.

No, I was unaware that Lakeview Cemetery was hosting their Run Though History 5K this morning. Mile fifteen was spent running and hiking up and through Lakeview (9:08 pace) and past all these folks heading for the starting line at 9 AM. If I had known, I could have registered and been there in time to make my last three miles an actual race.

I perfectly planned today's eighteen mile run. I even remembered to head out in sunglasses even though it was only dawn. The sun was high and bright for a great deal of my return run. And yet I regret not knowing about this local race. See, this is what they mean when they say long distance runners are miserable.

Temperature: 68° → 79°
Climate: bright, sunny, humid and perfect
Weight: 157 lbs.
Water Stop: yes, several

I have all day to myself. The plan is to write, fell and volunteer maple, and do a little de-cluttering. But first, an epsom salt bath with the Sunday Times.

What's That Lyric?
Wherever Is Your Heart - Brandi Carlile

Friday, April 10, 2015

I believe in waiting out the weather.

To run or not to. It is seventy degrees before dawn. It is also blowing crazily, and every now and then it rains. A lot. However, the birds are singing. I will take that as a sign. I would take anything as a sign.

Temperature: 67°
Distance: 3.38 miles
Avg Pace: 8.06
Climate: muggy

Win. No rain, the humidity of Cleveland is upon us. Directing some free, outdoor Shakespeare this summer, I wonder what surprising weather we will get hit with.

Auditions are tonight, come join us.

Baseline: 178.5 lbs.
Today: 165 lbs. (-0.5)
Goal: 170 lbs.
Ideal: 165 lbs.

Very tired this morning, hard to get to bed before eleven when there's no one to remind you what time it is. At least it was time well spent, editing, writing, folding laundry.

Once I started running, however, in the cool pre-dawn breeze, I felt good, I felt strong and light. I wonder if I have another long race in me. I don't see why not. One more before fifty? Making plans.

2010 Playlist
Super Bass - Nicki Minaj
Blow - Ke$ha
Derezzed - Daft Punk
Waka Waka (This Time for Africa) - Shakira ft. Freshlyground
Rocketeer - Far East Movement
Cynthia - Millionyoung
Home - Glasser
Drunk Girls - LCD Soundsystem

Two Thousand Ten, the year the girl discovered pop music. Last night we had our final bedtime phone call before Con drives her home this afternoon.

When she said "Hi, Daddy," she sounded like that little girl. By the time we said good-bye her voice had relaxed, it sounded deeper, more confident. When she said "Good-night, Daddy," she was a teenager.

Wednesday, April 08, 2015

Got it going on.

Stop sign of Sauron.
Monday was great, but yesterday I felt the full impact of running eight miles the day before. Fatigue in my legs, and my right knee has been flaring up a little since before the weekend - only now it is more pronounced and constant.

Also, the pad of my left foot. So, is this repetition without rest soreness, or is it the shoes? Almost ten years ago I sustained an injury in my feet and was trying to figure out what was happening and it took me a surprisingly amount of time to realize it was the shoes. Ditched the shoes, all was well.

Is it the shoes?

Temperature: 43°
Distance: 3.38 miles
Avg Pace: 8.25
Climate: damp

The wife departed before dawn for the AWP Conference, she will be gone until Sunday. The kids do not return until Friday evening.

Now I am alone.

Baseline: 178.5 lbs.
Today: 165 lbs. (-0.5)
Goal: 170 lbs.
Ideal: 165 lbs.

No one in the house, I totally forgot to eat.

2008 Playlist
Alice - Moby
Mercy - Duffy
Paris Is Burning (Paris s'enflamme) - Ladyhawke
Go All The Way (Into the Twilight) - Perry Farrell
That's Not My Name - The Ting Tings
Halo - Beyoncé
Breakeven - The Script

You know what ... the aughts playlists? Not my favorite playlists.