The foot, the ground, the flesh and the bone.

Long day. Good day. Good work. My left eye hurts. My right eye twitches. Writing texts. Sending emails. Writing discussion questions. Contacting sites. Interviewing actor-teachers. Scribbling ideas. Busy, busy.

Distance: 3 miles
Route: Boulevard Loop

After work, at a bar, an unfamiliar bar, bit too high tone (couldn't find a seat at Parnell's, the place was packed ... I believe their walls are closing in) attempting to cogitate a brief description of a play, my play, which is work to be developed, as part of a process, which may or may not ever result in production, somewhere, down the line.

Christ, what a joint. Crushed between two most self-congratulatory generations in the history of mankind. The hair pieces. The hairy faces. Keep your head down and write. You may look pretentious, but at least no one will speak to you.

Temperature: 64°
Climate: impending storm (?)
Weight: 164 lbs. (+1.5)
Mood: it's good

Beautiful night. Fast run. Night time delirium, welcome back.

Twenty-one runs in the month of March, almost ties last year's record.

1996 Playlist
Waters of March - Marisa Monte & David Byrne
Unmarked Helicopters - Soul Coughing
One Note Samba/Surfboard - Stereolab & Herbie Mann
Birth-Day (Love Made Real) - Suzanne Vega
Cinnabar - Tipsy

Oh, the 1990s. How I miss you so, you schizophrenic wonder.

Warmdown
New Pollution - Beck Hansen

The sweat keeps rolling off the tip of my nose.

DJBG

Recently I have discovered Erie Effusion ("the B- Side of the Electronic Eighties") on WRUW, hosted by DJBG, Sundays from 6-8 PM.

People think I am some kind of 80s guy, but really, I'm not. I didn't know anything when I was a teenager. Everything seriously cool I picked up later.

Anyway, it's an awesome program. I thought I'd heard it all from that decade. I was wrong.

However, please stop alerting me to CNN's upcoming 1980s documentary special on my Facebook page. I am sure it will be tedious and nothing I need.

Distance: 4 miles
Avg Pace: 7:16
Duration: 29:02
Route: Forest Hill Loop

Burning it. Awesome playlist. Huh. 1982 is perhaps the only playlist that doesn't hit me with a pang of regret. Eighth grade ended, freshman year began. There was a lot of heartache, and hideous embarrassment ... but also some amazing discoveries.

Temperature: 64°
Climate: overcast and warm
Weight: 162.5 lbs. (-1.5)
Mood: good

Speaking of discoveries, today plans are being laid for a performance in early May which I will be announcing soon. And on my run today I had a significant brainstorm. Not sure if I am going to follow through on it, but it was really something. I need to write, something I have not done in far too many days.

1982 Playlist
Wild Sex (In the Working Class) - Oingo Boingo
I Want Candy - Bow Wow Wow
My Own Way - Duran Duran
New Religion (Carnival Version) - Duran Duran
Lysistrata - Utopia
Shock the Monkey - Peter Gabriel
I Know What Boys Like - The Waitresses
How Stupid Mr. Bates - The Police

Actually, I did listen to all of that when I was a teenager. Not as square as I thought.

Warmdown
Gypsy - Fleetwood Mac

I remember I cried when my father died, never wishing to hide the tears.

Wasn't going to run today. Feeling spoiled, the weather has been nice in Athens, and I knew it would be better tomorrow. Why go out today when it's a little cool? Got the night to myself, the wife is home now but at rehearsal for her new show so I watched a small amount of TV, did some personal marketing work, put away laundry, washed dishes, thought about my dad and just started crying.

So I'm taking a run.

Distance: 3 miles
Route: Boulevard Loop
Temperature: 37°
Climate: cool
Weight: 164 lbs. (-1.0)
Mood: not good

No, that didn't really help. But it was a good run, and fast. So, there's that.

Trying to avoid Facebook, which has just been depressing. I think I will pour a drink and watch some more Daredevil like a normal fucking human being.

1971 Playlist
Life on Mars? - David Bowie
Alone Again (Naturally) * - Gilbert O'Sullivan
If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out - Yusuf Islam
I Feel the Earth Move - Carole King
Soul Power (Part 1) - James Brown
Four Sticks - Led Zeppelin

How old do the kids need to be before we can watch Life On Mars with them?

Warmdown
Rock and Roll * - Led Zeppelin

Shake the stress away.

Birmingham (2007)

Big day, must work. Returned home from Athens yesterday afternoon, the rest of everyone continues to enjoy themselves is in the bosom of Elliottsville Road. Anxiety rests constant in my abdomen. Much to do, to organize, to be. Writing occurs only as a form of exercise, I would be better served by creating wide, graceful loops on paper with a lacquered chopstick in my hand.

Distance: 3 miles
Avg Pace: 8:06
Duration: 24:25
Route: Forest Hill Loop

Challenging to get out. Banged my knee on a railing jumping for yesterday's paper. Just, don't ask. Shorts, yes, but also a warm hat and gloves. Perfect. Spitting rain just as I headed out, but it almost immediately ceased. Fierce wind to fight against heading out, pushing me along as I headed back.

15 Step is 189 beats per minute. That is insane. When the wind is at your back, it is also a lot of fun.

Temperature: 45°
Climate: damp and cool
Weight: 165 lbs.
Mood: all right

Okay. It is now officially time to stop eating or drinking whatever the hell I want to.

2007 Playlist
1973 - James Blunt
Please Read The Letter - Robert Plant & Alison Kraus
Club Situation - Gravy Train!!!
Don't Stop the Music - Rhianna
Flathead - The Fratellis
15 Step - Radiohead

Warmdown
The Boys - Dragonette

Two Thousand Seven, where this all began, this mania to run annual playlists in some effort to inspire me to run as often as possible during the deep winter months. Not much of a winter though, this year. In 2012 I closed the list out on March 9. There were five fewer years to log, but it was still an impressive accomplishment. I guess.

Four more. What should go onto a 2016 playlist?

I can make you feel ... okay.

#TeamUSPS

Exhaustion coupled with an inability to sleep in without developing severe head pain. I mean, I have not been able to go to sleep nor stay asleep for weeks and weeks. Last night we turned in at a reasonable hour but I was awake countless times during the night, finally settling into something like unbroken slumber only to wake up after dawn with a head packet with pain.

Not the morning I wanted, feeling headachy and ill. Allergy medication was taken. A hot shower was employed. Just needed to sit and wait it out. Hard to read, hard to write.

Distance: 7 miles
Avg Pace: 7:30
Duration: 52:40
Route: Hocking River Bike Trail
Week Three Total: 20 miles
Training To Date: 55 miles

The day slowly grew into one of glorious skies and air. Took a brief afternoon nap because I think that is the only way I am going to survive or get through all of this; supplemental afternoon rest.

I still have a tic.

Since arriving in Athens (a little more than twenty-four hours ago) I have made a point of eating as many snack chips and other fried crunchy things as possible because that seems to make me some kind of happy.

Temperature: 64°
Climate: warm
Mood: ... okay.

Perfect day on the bike trail. Yes, there are students about this holiday weekend, but there are obviously fewer. Cloudless skies, almost like summer. High BPM, seven and a half minute miles.

Seven miles is too far to go without water. The right side of my head was aching for a bit after I stopped.

All right. Time to head to Casa.

1977 Playlist
Heroes - David Bowie
I Love Playin' With Fire - The Runaways
More Than a Woman - Bee Gees
Commando - The Ramones
I'm Partial To Your Abracadabra - Ian Drury & The Blockheads
Mystery Dance - Elvis Costello & The Attractions
Love Gun - KISS
Stayin' Alive - Bee Gees
Less Than Zero - Elvis Costello & The Attractions
Sheena Is a Punk Rocker * - The Ramones
Suzy Is A Headbanger - The Ramones
Never Going Back - Fleetwood Mac
Welcome To The Working Week - Elvis Costello & The Attractions
Nothing Achieving * - The Police
California Sun - The Ramones
Capital One Radio - The Clash
Christine Sixteen - KISS
Sheer Heart Attack - Queen
Love → Building On Fire - Talking Heads
Cretin Hop  - The Ramones

Please stop stressing with the hurry up wait.

Brief respite, hanging with the out-laws. The wife is heading straight here from Indiana. Me and the kids got up early (they insisted, seriously, not my idea) and got here by 11 AM.

Listened to Hamilton straight through, when it was finished the girl insisted we start again from the beginning.

Distance: 3 miles
Avg Pace: 8:01
Duration: 24:03
Route: Hocking River Bike Trail

Flat out on level ground, it's something new. Sometimes I can feel my spine lengthening as I warm into it, and that's good, too.

Bit colder than I had expected, I neglected to bring gloves. Really that was my big discovery from the TCM last fall, gloves make all the difference. I can run in shorts in thirty degree weather, but if its below fifty-five I need something on my hands.

Why did I not run on the bike path every day of my life when I was going to school here? I may have, perhaps six times my entire college career.

By the football stadium I passed a brace of Mormons on bikes.

Temperature: 46°
Climate: overcast and cool
Mood: Ok

2011 Playlist
Somebody That I Used to Know - Gotye ft. Kimbra
Helena Beat - Foster the People
Need You Now - Cut Copy
Ok - Beastie Boys
Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO ft. Lauren Bennett & GoonRock
Feel So Close - Calvin Harris

Chasing northern lights (life can be so nice.)

My amateur analysis is that I suffered a peroneal tendon strain on Tuesday, or peroneal tendonitis, in my right ankle.

Troubled me on and off all day yesterday and even this morning. Started running, POOF. Pain was gone.

Now my left ankle hurts.

Distance: 3 miles
Route: Forest Hill Loop

Think I am going to Alaska this summer. Details soon.

Temperature: 59°
Climate: overcast and cool
Weight: 164.5 lbs.
Mood: good

1986 Playlist
The Queen and the Soldier - Suzanne Vega
Ballet for a Rainy Day - XTC
Peter Piper - Run-D.M.C.
Brand New Lover - Dead Or Alive
Girl From Ipanema Goes to Greenland - The B-52's
Life Can Be So Nice - Prince & The Revolution

Foot racing from kitchens.

Flying solo this week, the wife is on a writing retreat in Indiana. In spite of having the bed to myself I did not sleep soundly at all. In fact, some of my dreams were downright disturbing.

Distance: 4 miles

Avg Pace: 7:33

Duration: 30:12

Route: Cain Park Loop

Lovely evening run. Amazing how, when I am in training, a day and a half between runs can feel like forever. Very strong heading out. Great bpm.

Cramp in my ankle and heel, but I kept running. It was very uncomfortable. These things don't usually happen. Then I developed a stitch in my side. Can't remember the last time that happened.

Temperature: 59°

Climate: breezy

Weight: 163 lbs.

Mood: up

1997 Playlist
I'm Afraid of Americans (160 bpm) - David Bowie
Block Rockin' Beats - Chemical Brothers
Absurd (Landslide Mix) - Fluke
Arigato We Love You - Pizzicato Five
Around the World - Daft Punk
Sleep On The Left Side * - Cornershop

Who's tripping down the streets of the city?

Beautiful day yesterday. Yes, it was a little chilly but we spent little time out doors. Mom joined us at the aquarium, I think she really liked that. Traditionally when we get the cemetery a little clean up is in order.

I realized some time ago that a communal grave for neonatal deaths would eventually lose attendants. People move, or they move on. After a hard winter, or any winter at all, the stone would be covered with mud, leaves, and acorns, perhaps a small toy or stuffed animal soaked in dirt.

We bring a small rake and a broom, tools to clean the stone before we decorate. Yesterday I was surprised to find it had been recently visited, someone had thoroughly cleaned the stone and there was a bouquet a blue and white silk flowers.

We remember.

Distance: 3 miles
Route: Forest Hill Loop

Slow run today, just chugging along. I am just exhausted. It doesn't help that I chose to wear the winter running jacket, it makes me feel like a plump bear.

Not just physically exhausted, emotionally so. There are so many things going on, in work, in art, and in family and family and more family. This did not start last month, I have felt as though the floor were about to collapse for some time now. And then it did.

But there's another floor beneath that one, and it caught me but it's also kind of creaky.

Temperature: 28°
Climate: cool
Weight: 162.5 lbs.
Mood: sleepy

1967 Playlist
Psyché Rock - Pierre Henry
Memphis Soul Stew - King Curtis
Windy - The Association
Run, Run, Run - The Velvet Undergound & Nico
Are You Experienced? - The Jimi Hendrix Experience
Pleasant Valley Sunday - The Monkees
Blindman - Big Brither & The Holding Company
Carnaby St. - Book T. & The MG's

Warmdown
Green Onions - Booker T. & The MG's

Long, black train.

First day of Spring. Earliest I have gotten up this year intentionally to take a run. Would have just gone back to sleep but there are plans ahead. Plans to visit the aquarium, the zoo, visit Riverside. Later we will have cake.

Plans for the week, too. The wife is taking a writing holiday and we will miss her. Next week the kids will visit Athens for the week. So many plans. So much to do. So much life moving forward.

The other day I had occasion to read over I Hate This. Strange, I last performed this piece five years ago. I watched it performed last fall, Reading it out loud myself, there were things that struck me as odd. Dated. And by dated, I mean they didn't make sense coming out of my mouth in 2016.

Fifteen years. The more things change, the more they will never be the same again.

Distance: 6 miles
Avg Pace: 7:50
Duration: 47:01
Route: Cain Park-Noble Loop
Week Two Total: 18 miles
Training to Date: 35 miles

My back has been acting up. What a pain.

Temperature: 30°
Climate: light snow
Weight: 162.5 lbs.
Mood: sleepy

2001 Playlist
August Day Song (King Britt Mix) - Bebel Gilberto
Smoke - Cornelius
Hella Good - No Doubt
Lady Marmalade - Christina Aguilera, Lil Kim, Mya & Pink
Can't Get You Out of My Head - Kylie Minogue
Mystery Train - Michael J. Sheehy
Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger - Daft Punk
This Charming Man - Stars
Pulk/Pull Revolving Doors - Radiohead
Start the Commotion - Wiseguys
Weapon of Choice - Fatboy Slim
Digital Love - Daft Punk

Unlock my body.

We begin with a song from one of Bowie's last albums before he took his mysterious break, before he released The Next Day in 2013. Rumors were circulating even then that he was on death's door. This track, A Better Future, some theorize as a conversation with God. Where are you? Why do you not take care of us when there are so many who suffer?

That is not what I think of when I listen to it. This refrain:

I demand a better future
Or I might just stop loving you

This could be the underclass insisting from the powerful a change in the present order. Ensemble Theatre made just such an allusion when they used this song to open their 2011 production of Waiting For Lefty.

Recently I have been reading the boy H.G. Wells' The Time Machine, which suggests a future in which the division of humans into Master and Servant have split the species in two, those small, soft, ignorant folk who play on the surface - the Eloi - and those who serves the machines below the surface of the earth that keep the Eloi alive, but also rise from the depths once a month, during the new moon, to slaughter and feast the surface beings. These are the Morlocks.

This in turn puts me in mind of the film Metropolis. Masters above, servants below. In this case the working classes rise up, led by a false prophet, and in the process of their rebellion succeed only in destroying their own homes. I could make a cheap political analogy ... and I guess I just did.

The boy heard O Superman for the first time the other day, and after brief consideration, he said it made him think of the pre-recorded, automatic voices found in Ray Bradbury's There Will Come Soft Rains. His ability to free-associate across media rivals my own and I am so proud of him for that.

Distance: 3 miles
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 39°
Climate: cool and bright
Weight: 164 lbs.
Mood: all right

2002 Playlist
A Better Future - David Bowie
Heavy Metal Drummer - Wilco
Emerge (Daft Punk Mix) - FischerSpooner
Breathe In - Frou Frou
Cry Me a River - Justin Timberlake
Straight Aces - Cornershop

Warmdown
Daybreaker - Beth Orton

Well, yes. I'm still running.

Yesterday I had a pain in my thigh for most of the day, seriously uncomfortable. This morning, fine. But then, it may be aggravated by running. Because that's how that happens.

Also, bent toes. Running. Repetition. Training. Strong heart. Strong lungs. Good health. Remember.

Distance: 3 miles
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 45°
Climate: cool and bright
Weight: 163 lbs.
Mood: all right

Always older men walking around the park. Some with dogs, others running. I can't tell if I am older than any of them.

Three milers are brisk, fast affairs. No fatigue yet. Planning a six for Sunday, or maybe on Saturday and take Sunday off. Haven't decided yet. Sunday is Calvin's Day, though I plan on rising early I don't know if I'd rather be running or writing.

Maybe both, right?

1987 Playlist
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2
Pump Up The Volume - M/A/R/R/S
Honey Bee - The Bears
This Corrosion  - Sisters of Mercy

Yes, some Bono for your St. Patrick's Day.

What kind of douchebag names himself "Good"?

Warmdown:
Alex Chilton * - The Replacements

That sound of road.

Training now. Little time for reflection. Feels good to keep moving. However, Tuesday I just wasn't feeling it. Miserable, rainy. I felt weak and not too inspired. Hoping today works out better. Like, in general.

Also, yesterday's diet was horrible. Worse than Monday. Lots of cookies, just cookies everywhere, and soft, salty things. I need more vegetables in my life.

Distance: 3 miles
Route: Forest Hill Loop

Temperature: 55°
Climate: cool & overcast
Weight: 163.5 lbs.
Mood: decent

Yep. cookies.

2012 Playlist
All Your Gold - Bat For Lashes
Thrift Shop- Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Wanz
Paddling Out - Miike Snow
Please Don't Scream - Nataly Dawn
Sex - The 1975
Live While We're Young - One Direction

My heart was set to live.

Hmn. Ache in my left knee, and also in my right thigh or hip. Did some yard work this weekend, that's how I hurt my back a year or so ago. Thought I was all right. Running every day now, more or less, in training. Could be wearying.

Distance: 3 miles
Route: Forest Hill Loop

Sun breaks over the pond at Forest Hill Park. Oh, darling, I wish you could have seen it. A heron, not five feet away, taking off in flight. It was majestic.

Temperature: 55°
Climate: cool and humid
Weight: 161.5 lbs.
Mood: all right

1972 Playlist
All The Young Dudes * - Mott the Hoople
The Ballad of El Goodo - Big Star
John, I'm Only Dancing - David Bowie
Jimmy Loves Mary Ann - Looking Glass
One of the Boys - Mott the Hoople
Hi Hi Hi - Paul McCartney & Wings
Stairway to the Stars - Blue Öyster Cult

A little testosterone for your Monday morning.

He's got his health and he knows he can't complain.

Running down Compton, alternating Bernie and Hillary signs. But, you know, only those signs. Because I live in the Heights. Word up.

Don't forget to vote Tuesday.

Distance: 5 miles
Avg Pace: 7:17
Duration: 36:29
Route: Boulevard-Noble Loop
Week One Total: 17 miles

Fast morning. High bpm. Slept in today with no ill effects. Yes, remembered to turn the clocks forward.

We sat on the couch, in front of the fire, before the kids rose, talking about my parents.

Who knows. I began the year in a deep, uncertain unhappiness. Opening the tour was an emotional crisis for me. Then, tragedy. And I just don't have time for that nonsense anymore.

Temperature: 50°
Climate: light rain
Weight: 161 lbs.
Mood: good

1992 Playlist
Digging In The Dirt * - Peter Gabriel
Fat Man and Dancing Girl - Suzanne Vega
Then She Appeared - XTC
Wish You Dead - Curve
Hey Jealousy - Gin Blossoms
The King of Bedside Manor * - Barenaked Ladies
Jimmy James - Beastie Boys
Enid * - Barenaked Ladies
Rooming House on Venice Beach - Jonathan Richman

I've got blisters on my feet.

Training says this is a day off, but I already took one on Tuesday. So strange, as I walked out of the office last night at five, it occurred to me that it was the weekend. I haven't had a "weekend" in well over a month. Of course, it feels like much longer.

Distance: 3 miles
Avg Pace: 7:18
Duration: 22:01
Route: Forest Hill Loop

Gorgeous day, quick trip through the park. Running fast. My best time for a half is 1:43.35. That was six years ago. No idea what May 15th has in store.

Temperature: 48°
Climate: sunshiny and cool
Weight: 162.5 lbs.
Mood: okay

1978 Playlist
Thank You For Being a Friend - Andrew Gold
Strange Town - The Jam
Statue of Liberty - XTC
I Must Be In Love - The Rutles
Peanuts (178 bpm) - The Police
Metropolis - Kraftwerk

I hear footsteps, see their faces.

Hey, everyone.

The outreach tour concluded at Lorain County Community College last night. Today we unload the set at the scene shop, return the costumes and all else to its rightful place. So much work in such a brief period of time. When the tour began, he was with us. We move on, he has been left behind.

It stretches even further than that, to last summer, sitting on the porch in Maine, talk with him about the Lusitania, and the 1920s, the period just after the Great War called the Great Silence.

My daughter has a copy of the program with her grandfather's picture on it set neatly on top of a notebook on her desk. I haven't asked her about it. But I take comfort in the fact that I am not alone.

Distance: 3 miles
Avg Pace: 7:26
Duration:22:17
Route: Forest Hill Loop

Another brisk day. Winter tries, winter fails. Brave geese that never left town swarm the city. Geese are the new deer.

Running in shorts feels so free, I can't tell you. Temps in the sixties or near-sixties for the next week. Can't wait to get out into the air. Spent the last three days in and out of hospitals, and I am positively sick of being indoors.

Temperature: 37°
Climate: overcast and cool
Weight: 162.5 lbs.
Mood: decent

1988 Playlist
Lonesome For a Place I Know - Everything But the Girl
Shapes Between Us Turn Into Animals * - Robyn Hitchcock & The Egyptians
Beat Of Love - Voice of the Beehive
Sister Madly * - Crowded House
Prophets of Rage - Public Enemy
I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) - The Proclaimers
All That Money Wants - The Psychedelic Furs

Let me get some action from the back section.

He's smiling at you, Beavis.

Family matters kept me from getting a training run Tuesday morning, by afternoon it was too late. I had spent the day on a liquid diet in preparation for Wednesday's procedure, and by the evening did not have the calories nor the energy.

The colonoscopy (my first) passed without incident. There's a little joke in there for you. No polyps, nothing like cancer, all clear. See you again in ten years.

As we were preparing for the procedure and the nurse was hooking me up to the machine to check my heart rate, she immediately asked, "Are you a runner?"

I can't tell you how good it feels when someone giving me a medical examination asks me that question.

Distance: 3 miles
Avg Pace: 7:38
Duration: 22:56
Route: Forest Hill Loop

Refreshing morning run. Climate was perfect. Short pants, short-sleeved shirt. Flying through the springtime air. If only absolutely anything else felt so normal.

Temperature: 57°
Climate: light rain
Weight: 162.5 lbs.
Mood: stressed

1998 Playlist
Body Movin' (Fatboy Slim Remix) - Beastie Boys
Starwayze - back 2 earth
Cadriopo - Stereolab
Cominagetcha - Propellerheads
Because We Want To - Billie

I cannot stop myself.

I work out.

So many events, visits, conversations, phone calls, preparing for this procedure, late nights and early mornings ... I forgot I am running a half marathon on May 15th.

Training begins today. Huh.

Distance: 3 miles
Avg Pace: 7:51
Duration: 23:32
Route: Forest Hill Loop

Training for a half marathon tops out at ten miles. Once. Some people call that "a run."

Anyway, the schedule will keep me honest. And honestly, this week may be difficult. I am on a low-fiber diet which means I am avoiding a lot of the things I have been eating to stay healthy and where my weight is supposed to stay.

No nuts, whole grains, any kind of beans, no sunbutter (made from seeds), and fruits with skin or pulp ... this morning I had yogurt and bananas and honey, no granola or Grape Nuts.

Ugh. I need to get some juice. Not orange juice, apple juice. Like a preschooler.

Temperature: 45°
Climate: cool and bright
Pavement: dry
Weight: 161.5 lbs.
Mood: all right

2008 Playlist
American Boy - Estelle ft. Kanye West
Great DJ - The Ting Tings
Halo - Beyoncé
Discipline - Nine Inch Nails
Mercy - Duffy
Breakeven - The Script

Hit the high road.

Colonoscopy Wednesday. Low-fiber diet for the next three days. So now you know.

Went to bed much later than I had hoped or planned for. Woke early. No headache, but I am walking exhausted. No idea how I will be able to catch up this week. I think I will just be tired the rest of my life.

Tour visits Cleveland Heights today.

Distance: 3.22 miles
Avg Pace: 7:56
Duration: 25:37
Route: Boulevard Loop

Temperature: 34°
Climate: cool
Pavement: dry
Weight: 164 lbs.
Mood: present

1973 Playlist
Captain Jack - Billy Joel
Tonight - The Raspberries
Skokian - Hot Butter
Free Ride - The Edgar Winter Group
Living For The City - Stevie Wonder
Cindy Incidentally - The Faces
Hooked On A FeelingI - Blue Swede
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheel

Today I feel the gray pulse in my head.

Forest Hill Park Swan

Almost six years ago, when I broke the news to my family over dinner that Harvey Pekar passed away, my son surprised us all by breaking down in tears. He had just met him at the pool a few days earlier. My son was five.

"I wanted to see him again!" he bawled.

It was the most simple, honest and heartfelt way I had ever heard to communicate grief. And it's what I have been coping with this week. After the celebrations, the dinners and memorials, sorting through clothes and writing eulogies and letters, I find myself driving the Shoreway or sitting at my desk or making breakfast and suddenly choking up and sobbing.

He was always here. Now he is gone. I wanted to see him again. Now I never will. Never again.

Distance: 3.65 miles
Avg Pace: 7:36
Duration: 27:45
Route: Forest Hill Loop

Just another less than satisfying Saturday afternoon, waking headachy, slouching about, napping ... I have been, continually, without enough sleep. I developed a neck strain and a tic in my right eye during the last week, the tic comes and goes, and the pain in my neck or shoulders.

Stress, to be sure. Unhappiness, sorrow coalesces into depression. A colleague suggests it is rest I need. But how can I rest when sleeping after dawn almost consistently gives me terrible sinus pain?

The wife says I need to see a doctor. It's allergies. It's dust mites.

I don't care. I just don't care very much. Not right now. Not about anything.

Temperature: 36°
Climate: cool with very light snow
Pavement: mostly dry
Weight: 163 lbs.

Amazing how a run can clear my head, clear my sinuses. Clean air, exercise. Filling my head with freshness. I did not want to run in the cold, I was looking forward to it getting warm again, which they say it will and shortly. But today the cold was just what my poor head desired.

I feel a little better.

1983 Playlist
Let's Dance (Extended Version) - David Bowie ft. Stevie Ray Vaughn
I'm Still Standing - Elton John
Church of the Poison Mind - Culture Club
Whenever You're On My Mind - Marshall Crenshaw
The Upstairs Room - The Cure
Talk About the Passion - R.E.M.
A Ray of Sunshine - Wham!