Before I go forever.

Wearing it.

It has been quite a month. I feel selfish taking a run on this particular afternoon, but I haven't exercised, at all, since the marathon. And that's not good, either.

Distance: 2 miles
Duration: 17:51
Pace: 8:55
Route: Horizon Loop
Temperature: 40°
Climate: sunny & cool
Mood: ???

So, here's the deal. Shortly after the race I began taking Wellbutrin (bupropion) for anxiety and depression. The effect was almost immediate, with some bizarre though not unpleasant side effects. However, after a few weeks I began experiencing chest pains which were presumably muscular, not vascular in nature. And yet, the toll emotionally was extreme, this "heart attack lite," and so we decided to make a change.

Now I am taking Zoloft (sertraline) which is also effective, but the jury is still out as to whether I am going to stick with it. Simply put, I feel less inspired than usual, which was what I always worried would happen on antidepressants.

However, the last time I took a session of meds was eight years ago. In 2011 I wrote two plays, which was two more plays than I had written the year before. I also ran half as much as the annual average and gained a great deal of weight.

So here we are. Today the wife texted me to say how beautiful it is outside, and she was right. It was, is gorgeous. And I ran.

What's That Lyric?
The Night - Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons

Random thoughts on the race.

With Con & Nell, Oct. 13, 2019

This will be unpleasant.

The large band-aids (nipple protectors) fell off around mile ten. Like, both of them, within a quarter mile of each other, just started sliding down my torso. The lesson here, trim chest hair no less than a week to five days beforehand. (Trim too close to the run and you will be a miserable, itchy madman.)

These shoes. I reported an unhappy toenail incident when I ran the twenty mile, my first long run with these shoes. Well, I think I may have killed most of the toenails on my right foot. It's too early to tell but they are all very tender and bruised. Ditto a few on the left foot. Hate to be a hater, but I think it's the shoes. The soles are just a little too soft, not enough support.

Seriously. These shoes trashed all my toenails.

Spent the week answering people's queries about the race. "How did it go?" I feel like an idiot when I answer, "it was hard."  Of course it was hard, it's a marathon! But this was harder. I wanted to enjoy it more. Memories of previous races I don't recall the pain. Perhaps that is what I will be left with for Chicago.

It truly was a beautiful day.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Duration: 28:43
Pace: 8:49
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 64°
Climate: perfect
Mood: not bad

Since the race I have been eating. Eating everything. No abandon. Not exactly true, I have been avoiding sweets. But fats, I'm all over that. Okay, a week. You had a week. It's time to exhibit traditional restraint. I think I can manage that.

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 170 lbs. (+2.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

Okay, I love running again.

2019 Bank of America Chicago Marathon

This is Chicago.

Saturday evening we hooked up Chris's cousin and her husband and hung around Wrigleyville. Had a beer at the Cubby Bear, then massive carboloading at Happy Camper. Pita and hummus was the order of the evening and I fairly stuffed myself.

Official Time: 4:05:18
Avg. Pace: 9:22

Personal Best: 3:42:07 (Twin Cities 2015)

Not my best day. It feels wrong to be self-critical. But this was hard. Very, very hard. Like, New York City hard. The last two races, while not a walk in the park, were full of positive energy. I felt good, even when I was stiff and wanting to stop.

It all comes down to training. NYC I did my best, but I had no idea what I was in store for. It's not just about building muscle and endurance, you are putting chemicals into your muscles throughout training that make it possible to go long distances.

My first half was under two hours. But by mile twenty I was sore. Not spent, not like New York where my stomach hurt and I was dehydrated and under nourished. Quite the opposite, I feel I consumed too much water, too many energy snacks. I just crapped out. I wanted to walk. I wanted to quit.

And yet! Four hours and five minutes? That's great! Really, it is. I set a goal for myself -- four hours -- which was arbitrary. I wasn't out to break any records, knew I couldn't. I may even have kept up but I stopped to pee twice. I haven't needed a bathroom break the last two marathons. I timed it just right then, never needing to stop.

The Chicago is big, 45,000 runners. That's well more than Cleveland and the Twin Cities combined. And it was a beautiful day, just perfect, in spite of my fears. Glorious. I was dressed appropriately, with long sleeves, gloves (which I eventually ditched) a beanie (also hit the curb) and a billed hat. I haven't worn sunglasses for a marathon and didn't start today. Shorts were also called for and I was never uncomfortably chilly.

And there were live bands and lots and lots of loud music, and enormous crowds! My knowledge of Chicago neighborhoods is not impressive, but I was particularly touched by the excitement in the Mexican neighborhoods, and the Greek neighborhood, and Chinatown, and that part of town where they had stages and stages of dancing drag queens.

What marked this city as different from the few other races, or specifically New York where there are also enormous crowds, is how narrow the streets are compared to NYC, so the crowds were deafening, and pushing into the street. I felt like I did a lot more jostling for position, and all the time than I have ever had to do before.

In spite of the stiffness and pain (my sciatica, oy) I was pretty fierce on the inclines. That's a thing I do. And I did rally very late in the game, in the last mile, to keep my chin up and make a good showing. Crossing the finish line, I thought, well. I did that.

Once I made my way through the gauntlet of drinks and snacks and apples (oh GOD, that apple was the best thing I ever ate) and getting warm clothes on, I met up with Chris and Allie, and also my mother-in-Law Connie and her sister Nell, who were visiting this weekend. We all found a table at Rudy's Bar and Grille and I ate and relaxed and was so grateful to have crossed that particular finish line.

I will never forget, though, shortly after the race was concluded, and this wonderful volunteer gave me my medal. I looked at the inscription and at the bottom it reads I AM A MARATHONER.

I started to cry. Because whatever else you might call me, I certainly am that.

Congratulations to all those members of the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation TEAM CHALLENGE, and thanks to all those who supported my campaign. We did good.

And thanks to Chris and Allie, so much, for their love and support throughout my training and especially for this memorable weekend.

Pre-Marathon Two-Miler

Took a two-mile pre-race run with Allie, up Foster Avenue to Lake Michigan. That was a very good idea, not just because that's the thing you're supposed to do, but I have gotten really freaked out about the weather.

Allie keeps saying how perfect the forecast is. Yes, dry is paramount, I would be miserable if it were due to rain, downright maudlin. It would be like saying goodbye to all my toenails. But it's supposed to be in the mid-40s tomorrow, and I would prefer the mid-50s.

And yet, it was the mid-40s  this morning and it felt all right. I have my disposable cold weather sweatsuit, and think I can manage in shorts. The wind will be a challenge, but I just don't want to wear long pants.

We are Team Challenge!

Distance: 2 miles
Duration: 19:41
Pace: 9:51
Route: Foster Avenue to Lake Michigan and Back
Temperature: 45°
Climate: sunny & cold
Mood: getting better
Stretches: oh, uh. no.
Water: yes

Met up with all the Team Challenge folks at Bar Louie last night, got to chat up some of the organizers, runners, and supporters, and to enjoy a fine Goose Island IPA. I was hardly the one who had traveled farthest to be here. For several this will be their first marathon, and I was feeding off their excitement.

The plan is to meet up at the Congress Plaza Hotel tomorrow morning at 6:30, a warm place to gather before heading into the elements. This is a welcome invitation, as so many marathons I have attended require hours of standing around outside in the cold until the start.

It was pretty brisk out last night, but Chris, Allie and I still did a little walk around that neighborhood after the meet-up in search of dessert, and I found Gordo's which makes hand-dipped ice cream bars. Perfect!

We closed the evening seeing The Infinite Wrench, which is literally one block from where we are staying. It's always fascinating to me to share the Neo-Futurists with new people. It has been some time.

Interlude

CLE in CHI

We are in Chicago. And by we I mean Chris, Allie and I. We began this journey together and we will finish it together, I on the course, and they showing support.

We decided upon the train. Chris had never taken Amtrak! I am not certain, but I believe I have not taken a train since before we had living children. I wondered if it was the same, or if cutbacks had made it unpleasant.

Rest assured, it's the same. Wide seats, and plenty of them. Years of legroom. We boarded at three in the morning, and I stayed awake for a short while, writing, looking out into the darkness. And while coach is not the most comfortable place to sleep, sleep I did.

It's very relaxing taking the train. No one rushes about, it is a very not-tense way to travel. And quite possibly the cheapest. I keep waiting for the airline industry to collapse, but it won't. The government will continue to prop up planes, and Amtrak will go the way of the streetcar and the stagecoach.

Chicago was raining was when we arrived at Union Station, and we had a choice; take our car to Andersonville and drop off our things first, or to head straight for the Expo.

We chose the latter. I am quite used to carrying my bags with me through crowded spaces, and we successfully got our packets (Chris calls it the $200 T-shirt) and I was able to get a new glasses strap and some yummy, yummy gels.

We are staying at the apartment of Chris's best friend Ben. It's a beautiful place, and a real Chicago townhouse, with a wood pantry off the kitchen, cabinets in the short halls between rooms. It is a gift to be able to stay at a place like this, on a weekend like this.

Apart from a bagel just before the train arrived, however, we had not had anything to eat. "Breakfast" was at 1:00 PM (CT) at Pauline's Breakfast which was just exactly what was necessary, in sustenance and decor.

A little later there's a reception for members of TEAM CHALLENGE, and our apartment is literally a five minute walk from the Neo-Futurists ... so guess what we're doing tonight?

Can't wait until the weekend comes!

On average, a dozen people read this blog. Unless I post something on social media, between ten and twenty people read each individual post. That's enough to assume they are all bots. No offense to those one or two of you who may be human.

You may have noticed I have had nothing to say for about a week. That is because my mother was in the hospital, I won't go into details, she's fine now, really. Fine and at home, which is good.

But I have never wanted to run a marathon less than I want to run Chicago on Sunday. I haven't had nor taken the opportunity to train properly. My long runs have been painful, and I'm not better prepared now than I was three weeks ago.

Distance: 4 miles
Duration: 34:32
Pace: 8:37
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 62°
Climate: cool. nice.
Mood: all right
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

That, and I am depressed. Unfocused. Stressed out.

There is good news. I had an allergy test yesterday, and I am not allergic to seafood. I am allergic to the histamines that can develop in seafood that has been sitting around for a few days, so. Maybe no more raw seafood, no more sushi.

Tomorrow I meet with a new doctor, which I hope is a fruitful relationship. I need a physical. I am concerned about my sugar intake. Yesterday I wrote a play about it.

The weather in Chicago this week should be ideal. Dry, cool. Fifty degrees. I will be prepared for that.

That's it. That's all I got.

What's That Lyric?
Meccanik Dancing (Oh We Go!) - XTC

Gonna use my legs.

Distance: 8 miles
Duration: 1:11:59
Pace: 9:00
Route: Forest Hill-Lakewview Cemetery Run
Temperature: 67°
Climate: nice
Mood: better
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 167.5 lbs. (+1.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

What's That Lyric?
Brass In Pocket - The Pretenders

Don't run away and let me down.

Distance: 3 miles
Duration: 26:33
Pace: 8:50
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 46°
Climate: cool & sunny
Mood: not good
Stretches: yes
Water: not enough

What's That Lyric?
Save It For Later - The Beat

Wish we could turn back time.

It was a hard-earned lesson, but I it was made clear to me at a very early age that it is not necessary for me to let everyone in the neighborhood know our family's personal business. My mother also impressed upon me that it was never appropriate to judge or comment upon other families on their business.

In short, I was taught to mind my own business. I was never very good at it, but that's what mom would have preferred.

So I will not comment her health, or how her issues are affecting my ability to train for this race. Let me just make clear this is the case, it is trying, and mind your own business.

Distance: 6 miles
Duration: 50:08
Pace: 8:21
Route: Forest Hill-Cain Park Loop
Temperature: 56°
Climate: overcast, some light rain
Mood: bad
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

It's not that this is hard, it's that its not happening. I am hoping for a miracle next week. This has become a terrible time to be attempting another marathon. I used to get up early to run, but I can't because I need my sleep. I would run in the evening, but I can't because everyone has schoolwork to accomplish and I am needed to keep the house in order.

There's no time, and when there is time, I feel guilty for having taken time. I hate this. I cannot remember the last time I was happy.

I cannot remember the last time I was happy. That's very depressing, isn't it?

What's That Lyric?
Stressed Out - Twenty-One Pilots

We're running in our last race.

Distance: 4 miles
Duration: 36:06
Pace: 9:01
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 73°
Climate: overcast & mega sweaty
Mood: all right
Stretches: yes
Water: yes, not enough

What's That Lyric?
I'll Be You - The Replacements

They think that you'll be running.

Long days, busy nights. Saw three plays this weekend, going out of town the next two weekends ... it's all just crazy. Oh, also created a second draft of my new play.

Felt a slight pain in my calf yesterday. I have not been good about stretches. I'm practically begging to mess this up.

Planning to run twelve miles tonight, at the same time as Erie Effusion. Posted this on DJBG's Facebook page:

"Taking it on the run tonight (literally.) Upbeat and extended remixes will be deeply appreciated!"

I hope she takes that to heart, and also that it doesn't rain.

Distance: 12 miles
Duration: 1:48:21
Pace: 9:01
Route: All over. It was crazy.
Temperature: 66°
Climate: overcast & humid
Mood: all right
Stretches: better believe it
Water: yes, but parched on the road

Running at dusk invokes a kind of madness. First of all, heading out in the early evening, before sunset. it ran through a cloud of crepuscular gnats -- a deep cloud of gnats. They got in my mouth, stuck to my lips, were embedded onto my shirt.

As the sun went down, I wasn't sure where to head. The cemetery was closed for the evening, so I just headed towards Cedar Road, and unfamiliar trail. As I was listening to the radio through my iPod, I wasn't getting updates through my earbuds. I checked my phone at a stop sign and was surprised to discover I had already gone eight and a half miles

That was actually my 8:50 pace I was looking at. I put in what I believed was maybe three more miles was headed for home before I checked again and saw I had only gone seven and a half miles.

So I took a turn, back to the park, which I ran through using my phone as a flashlight. It was madness. One earbud out, listening to the woods, only slightly better than blind, listening to that show Dad likes to listen to on Sundays.

Disappointingly, I didn't get the request I made before leaving played. I assume it was a malfunction of the request system, DJBG likes to remind people she only has three listeners. But the show as upbeat!

Anyway, crazy, mad, blind, twelve miles run. Time to start the week.

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 166 lbs. (-0.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

My feet to the pavement.

Headache morning. God this house is moist. Short run.

Distance: 4 miles
Duration: 33:54
Pace: 8:28
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature:68°
Climate: bright, cool (humid)
Mood: all right
Stretches: no
Water: no. oops.

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 166.5 lbs. (+1.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

What's That Lyric?
On 33 - Stereo MC's

You better run away for good.

The training continues! It does! As we taper, I have been advised not to change up my diet too much, which is fine, because I have been eating shit all month.

Just yesterday a colleague described this sexual experience she had eating a McDonald's spicy BBQ chicken sandwich while driving, so I just had to try it!

Do I regret it? Oh, fuck yes. Would I do it again? Probably.

Distance: 8 miles
Duration: 1:08:13
Pace: 8:31
Route: Forest Hill to Cain Park (and back)
Temperature: 68°
Climate: bright, sunny, awesome
Mood: very good, actually
Stretches: no
Water: yes, but I couldn't tell

What's That Lyric?
Rainy Taxi - Spoon

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 165.5 lbs. (-0-)
Goal: 160 lbs.

You run from me.

Warning: Gross.

Okay, look. I'm just not doing the work for this marathon anymore and it is really getting to me. Just Monday night (long day, no time to run) I was tending to my wounded feet. In spite of my best efforts, nails had cut into nails and I was trying to trim them and clear up some of the callouses.

The nail on my middle toe on my right foot was bruised, and I was attempting to trim that back, when it went SQUISH. The nail started emitting fluid and then blood. It had separated from the nail bed. I have lost a toe nail two weeks before the big race.

Distance: 5.75 miles
Duration: 48:52
Pace: 8:29
Route: Forest Hill-Cain Park Loop
Temperature: 70°
Climate: gorgeous

Mood: not bad
Stretches: no
Water: no

And yet, we run. I messaged Marc Blandin, Team Challenge Coach, immediately after it happened with a very simple question, what do I do about this? You can see his response at right, basically don't freak out, it will be fine. And don't we all need advice like that?

Thanks, Marc!

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 165.5 lbs. (-0.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

What's That Lyric?
Oh Baby * - LCD Soundsystem

Chasing the clouds away.

Pre-Run Thoughts: The plan is to run twenty miles today. This is my final long run before tapering. And today my son will come with me, on his bike, traversing the distance between our house and his grandmother's.

I have made this journey several times, but always alone, and he has never made it so far. This will be an adventure. I hope it is a wise one.

We could have gone in the afternoon, but the temperature will blaze by noon. We will leave at 7:00 am. It will already be in the seventies.

For breakfast I've had buttery, garlicky spaghetti, and coffee. And water.

Distance: 20 miles
Duration: 3:13:56
Pace: 9:41
Route: Cleveland Heights to Lakewood
Temperature: 71° → 84°
Climate: bright, sunny & hot
Mood: very good
Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Energy snacks: Gatorade Prime Energy Chews, Simple Mills Soft Baked Spiced Carrot Cake Almond Flour Bar

Post-Run Realities: That was hard, and very hard. Having the boy as a companion was both emotionally satisfying, but also presented a few challenges.

He's fourteen, and has never gone twenty miles on his bike before. It took a toll on the muscles in his arms, shoulders, neck and back.

He also took two long bathroom breaks, which were opportunities for my muscles to freeze. Also, at mile three his got a flat tire, but he was also able to replace it with minimal effort, which I was entirely impressed by.

We had several additional stops to drink water, too, which were very important, too.

In fact, it was extremely good that he was along, because he carried a bag which included snacks and also water. We started shortly after sunrise, and the temperature rose our entire journey. It's a beautiful day, but hot.

The final stretch along Lake Avenue in Lakewood, was terrible. Just too bright, too hot, traversing those terrible sidewalks, and I was entirely done.

We arrived at my mom's house, but I still had to do a few laps in front of the place or I wouldn't have made twenty miles! Anyway, we had a late breakfast of bagels and I drank three glasses of water and two or orange juice.

And that was it. The time my son and I traveled across the city by foot. These days will not come again.

Week Fifteen Total: 29 miles
Total To Date: 354.5 miles

Remembering you running soft through the night.

This came in the mail yesterday.

This sucks. Not running for four days, I have a marathon in less than a month and I have that fatigue in my right thigh I get that reminds me I am not running.

We're all exhausted, which provides a neat excuse for members of the family to stop assisting with housework, only when I neglect housework, everyone notices.

Rehearsal period is always a challenge, in the old days I would get up at four o'clock just to run, today I just can't. Straight to work in the morning, straight to bed in the evening, and far too late in the evening, especially when emotions are high which they often are, and always at bedtime. All too predictable, inevitable, and apparently unavoidable.

The good news is I am writing mornings again. That's right, Writing. Why not run instead? Because fuck you, that's why.

Distance: 5.75 miles
Duration: 51:19
Pace: 8:55
Route: Forest Hill-Cain Park Loop
Temperature: 76°
Climate: sunny & bright
Mood: not good
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Yes, I dyed my hair black, briefly, when I was a sophomore in college. And yet, that was a bright and sunny time. I was a strutting dick doing little work and playing all the time. It was the following summer that my heart went dark and the Goth-pop music I had been fiddling with started to really be a hook in my soul.

Hot summer, sun bigger and brighter and whiter than snow. But those short nights were a torment.

Today I chose the Dark & Gothic playlist. What a reminder. What a gas.

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 166 lbs. (+1.0)
Goal: 160 lbs.

What's That Lyric?
Pictures of You - The Cure

Don't you worry about two left feet.

Thank you, Ric Ocasek.

Last night Chris and Allie came over to discuss transportation plans. We will be traveling to Chicago by TRAIN.

That's right, motherfuckers. By train.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Duration: 27:29
Pace: 8:27
Route: Boulevard Loop
Temperature: 62°
Climate: cool
Mood: stressed
Stretches: Somewhat. I need to work on that.
Water: yes

Night time run. Rushed. Not a good thing to do.

The Cars Playlist
Touch and Go
Shooting For You
Cruiser
Let the Good Times Roll (Live at The Agora)
Shake It Up
Night Spots
Hello Again

That last one goes out to Derf, who likes to imagine me dancing in parachute pants.

There's a message to your movements.

Photo image by Michael Weil

Wow, I totally did not feel like running this morning. Certainly not fourteen (scheduled) miles. We had a nice day yesterday; with in-laws in town, our daughter had a soccer match, my son played a gig at McCarthy's Downtown and then we had birthday dinner for my wife at Toast.

Lots of food, lots of alcohol, lots of talk, beautiful weather on the "patio" and not a bad bedtime hour. It was a fine family day.

This morning I just wanted to lie about and read and write and chat before my MIL, SIL and nephew returned to Athens. But running must continue so I just headed out, not knowing where I was going.

Distance: 9 miles
Duration: 1:19:00
Pace: 8:45
Route: Forest Hill to Lakeview Cemetery and back.
Temperature: 68°
Climate: overcast w/brief, light rain
Mood: improving
Stretches: not really
Water: can't remember, so I'll say no

Photo image by Michael Weil

Before I knew it, I was keeping a nice pace through the woods, enjoying the "classic punk" playlist I had chosen, and headed to the cemetery.

Across from Wade Lagoon they have posted images from photographer Michael Weil's recent project, Moonlight in the Gates: 150 Years of Lake View Cemetery in a New Reflective Light for which he spent a year of full moons skulking the cemetery and taking unique images of the park after dark.

For anyone paying attention, this is a book I would like to own.

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 165 lbs. (-2.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

What's That Lyric?
Gut Feeling - Devo

Week Fourteen Total: 21.25 miles
Total To Date: 325.5 miles

So play the resurrector and give the dead some life.

Hello, darkness.

What do you do. What do you do when your heart is no longer in it. When you are tired, and you don't even know why you are tired. When you are sad and entirely angry at the same time. When you are sad that you haven't run in three days, and entirely uninterested in running ever again. When you are so sorry and yet so resentful. When it all seems so pointless, not just running, but absolutely everything. What do you do.

It's not even a question. No one can provide answer so there's no point in even connecting. It's all fucking stupid. I just fucking hate everything because i fucking love everything but none of it matters.

There's no one home and nothing to do. I'm going for a run.

Distance: 9 miles
Duration: 1:18:05
Pace: 8:40
Route: Forest Hill to Heights High to Cain Park and Back
Temperature: 70° → 67°
Climate: cool
Mood: bad
Stretches: no
Water: yes

That was supposed to make me feel better, to energize me and make me feel alive. It didn't.

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 167.5 lbs. (+1.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

What's That Lyric?
Check the Rhime - A Tribe Called Quest

... and then I die.

Night of pain, and a sore day. I fell asleep on my left arm and when I woke up it was a world of hurt. So, of course, I thought I was having a heart attack. (I was not having a heart attack.)

So, recovery run it is.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Duration: 28:18
Pace: 8:42
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 60°
Climate: cool & humid
Mood: decent
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

In the run up to Y2K, there was a theory that the date 9/9/99 might also cause havoc as "9999" was a shutdown code in older computer systems.

This did not happen. January 1, 2000 also arrived without incident, and nothing bad has happened ever since.

To commemorate the "little y2k" I made a mix tape. This is what I was into twenty years ago today.

Now it's a Spotify playlists. Enjoy!

(Missing: "Cinnabar" and "Oops!" by Tipsy, "Comfy Club" by Pnu Riff.)

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 166 lbs.
Goal: 160 lbs.

Evening run. Gotta run in the evening so you can write in the morning.

New shoes, Under Armour. Like running on clouds.

What's That Lyric?
The Sky Is Broken - Moby

Endorphins make me cry.

Pre-Run Thoughts: The schedule demands eighteen miles, which I feel entirely unprepared for but I did complete sixteen miles two weeks ago, so anything is possible. Running to Dead Man's Curve and back (which is, my friends, eighteen miles) is not something I want to do, it feels arduous and I am not in the headspace for that.

Instead, I made plans to run across town, to mother's house. The last time I attempted this it was also my father's house, alas. But the city was different then, the Cultural Gardens not as grand, fewer people living in the city, fewer other runners. Edgewater not yet the Metropark which thousands flock to. What will I see on a warm Sunday afternoon, heading from one side of town to the other?

Next year!

Last night was Pandemonium, a scene I wrote premiered, but I left shortly after the dance party kicked into gear. I was asleep before midnight and just kept sleeping until I was finished. This morning I have eaten carbs, a bagel and later some buttery pasta. I have energy, if not the strength I was hoping for.

Still have no idea what I am going to listen to.

Distance: 18 miles
Duration: 2:42:47
Pace: 9:02
Route: Rec Center to Mom's House
Temperature: 68° → 65°
Climate: overcast & cool w/light rain
Mood: all right
Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Energy snacks: Gatorade Prime Energy Chews

Post-Run Realities: Perfect day for it, I'll tell you that. And a lot of beautiful everything to look at. I can barely remember the first half, maybe because it is so familiar. I will say, running along the lake on a cloudy while Annie Lennox sings Whiter Shade of Pale was a truly introspective experience and one I enjoyed a great deal.

It was the home opener at Browns Stadium (we were spanked by the Titans 43-13) and I arrived just as everyone was leaving, which was a thrill, dodging the crowds. Detroit Avenue from the river to West 65th is such a different experience than when I first did it in 2006, and Edgewater was also extremely pleasant.

But fall is fast approaching, there were a lot of people at the beach, but not the crush of people you would find on a beautiful summer's day.

The major win for the day was my hydration and energy consumption, as I was able to spread out energy chews and hit water fountains roughly four or five miles apart, the longest stretches with hydration were from the East 55th Marina to Lower Edgewater, and from Upper Edgewater to mom's house. But I never felt dehydrated or depleted.

Amusingly, I was on Lake Avenue, the homestretch, when Carrie called my phone. When I answered she yelled "WE'RE BEHIND YOU!" and I turned and saw she and her friend David running up the street. They'd been trying to catch up when they'd seen me several blocks back, but even after running sixteen miles I run faster than the average human.

Stopping to talk to them, however, made my legs freeze up and the final two miles were hard going. Alas. But I did finish strong, about a half mile short of mom's house, which was good because it meant I finished walking, and didn't immediately sit down.

And I listened to 90s music the entire way.

What's that mondegreen?
"The dolphins make me cry."
- "Only Wanna Be With You" by Hootie & the Blowfish

Week Thirteen Total: 32.5 miles
Total To Date: 304.25 miles

I'll run the gun for you (and so much more.)

Today I have run as many times as I had last year (two of my posts this year were about recovery.) Every additional run until December 31st is a bonus.

Yet. My training schedule is not perfect. I continue to run, but not as often nor as hard as the schedule dictates. Should have run nine miles yesterday, but when I got into bed on Wednesday night my head was spinning. I don't know what that was about.

I may know what that was about. The truth is, I have been eating garbage for days. In the rehearsal hall we have large bags of candy and chips and I will spend several hours abstaining, but the moment I have a little snack it's off to the fucking races.

Seriously, I have no idea how much processed sugar I have eaten in the past week, but my tongue has been damaged by it. Yesterday I had terrible indigestion. I have to get my shit together or this is going to be a miserable race.

When I go out this morning, the plan is to run for one hour. Because they need me back at home by 6:30 am. I have no idea which direction I am headed.

Before I go, I remind my self of one thing. I really like running.

Distance: 6.5 miles
Duration: 59:18
Pace: 8:56
Route: Heights High-Monticello Middle Loop
Temperature: 55°
Climate: cool & clear
Mood: all right
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Good run, back in time for the house to wake. Long sleeves today, which was fine. Steady run, not too fast but a good pace.

What's That Lyric?
I'll Tumble 4 Ya - Culture Club

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 163.5* lbs. (-4.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

*This cannot be accurate.

The Debate

Podcast morning, listening to The West Wing Weekly. This week they are discussing "The Debate," a live episode from season seven. Just thinking of the upcoming political season brought up my heart rate.

But I just realized something. In spite of everything, I feel better when there is something we need to gain in stead of fearing what we might lose. We've already lost so much, and there's so much worth fighting for.

Distance: 4 miles
Duration: 35:31
Pace: 8:52
Route: Cain Park Loop
Temperature: 72°
Climate: humid!
Mood: good
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 167 lbs. (+0.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

The holiday weekend left me packed with processed beef. That, and all the snacks in the rehearsal hall. I hope I am able to get control of this before the Halloween-Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Year's Food Death Spiral.

So you run down to the safety of the town.

Perfect day, cool, after the rains. But oh, how stiff, how weak, at least starting out. Lots of runners on the path this holiday morning. Middle age, students, the entire women's track team.

By the final mile I was warmed up, broke eight minutes. Pet Shop Boys, I thank you.

Distance: 4 miles
Duration: 36:17
Pace: 9:04
Route: Hocking River Bike Path
Temperature: 66°
Climate: over cast & cool
Mood: all right
Stretches: yes
Water: no, coffee

Ohio University Playlist (1986 - 1990)
Lonesome For a Place I Know - Everything But the Girl
Panic - The Smiths
I Get a Kick Out of You - Jungle Brothers
Lunar Bay - Frankie Goes to Hollywood
I Got It Goin' On - Tone-Loc
Don't Believe the Hype - Public Enemy
Life With the Lions - Billy Bragg
Ladies First - Queen Latifah ft. Monie Love
Like the Weather - 10,000 Maniacs
Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money) - Pet Shop Boys

You glorify the past when the future dries up.

First week of rehearsal is always a busy week, and the days are even more full with activate, teenage children. Cross-training and short runs fall by the wayside in favor of weekend rehearsal, orchestra parent meetings, and the desire to be present as children and spouse prepares for a day in school.

Meantime I have my own business, writing or preparing applications. We enter September, move into fall. And travel to Athens. My business has kept me from here since Christmas, I think. Memorial Day I had Lear rehearsal, my wife and son came to town to see my nephew (now three and a half months old) while the girl and I were in New York.

But we are here. A cool morning, after the rains. And it's another long one. On the drive down I said I had to run twelve miles today and my wife said she just can't comprehend that. Running that far, it's simply an impossible thing she could never physically accomplish.

Maybe not, but there's a first time for everything.

Distance: 12 miles
Duration: 1:47:41
Pace: 8:58
Route: Hocking River Bike Path
Temperature: 70°
Climate: overcast & cool
Mood: all right
Stretches: yes
Water stops: plenty
Snack: banana

Good day on the bike path, feeling strong. Not winded, not sore, not slow. Weather was perfect, and there were several water fountains along the way. Got to use a bathroom. So it was relaxed, not arduous, no worries. Listened to a playlist of songs from my college days. I have tried, throughout the years, to keep up with popular music. I haven't turned against it, but I have found nostalgia to be soothing. I mean, right?

O.U. Playlist (1986-1990)
God Part II - U2
La Bamba * - Los Lobos
Girlfriend In a Coma - The Smiths
Waiting For the Great Leap Forward - Billy Bragg
Rhymin' On the Funk - Digital Underground
Christopher Tracy's Parade - Prince
Channel Z - The B-52's
Wild Thing - Tone-Loc
Globe of Frogs - Robyn Hitchcock & the Egyptians
I Hope You're Happy Now - Elvis Costello & the Attractions
Domino * - Genesis
Something to Save - George Michael
The Cactus - 3rd Bass
Kiss (Aon Mix) - The Art of Noise ft. Tom Jones
Don't Disturb the Groove - The System
Driving - Everything But the Girl
Merely a Man - XTC
World In My Eyes - Depeche Mode
Route 66 - Depeche Mode
Elephants & Flowers - Prince
Free Fallin' * - Tom Petty
Summer of Love - The B-52's
Blood & Roses - The Smithereens
Twisting - They Might Be Giants
Things That Make You Go Hmmmm ... - C+C Music Factory
The Sensual World - Kate Bush
Buffalo Stance - Neneh Cherry

Week Twelve Total: 23.5 miles
Total To Date: 271.75 miles

You're born to run.

Actor-Teachers 2019-2020

We are in residency rehearsal process. I don't really think about training moment to moment, there are far too many other things to occupy my mind, notably the end of all things.

Even in the midst of attending curriculum night at my children's high school (children plural, they are both high school students now) I am aware that this will end, that a day will come when neither of my children are engaged in lower education.

All good things.

Distance: 7.5 miles
Duration: 1:07:20
Pace: 8:57
Route: Cain Park Loop (2x)
Temperature: 59°
Climate: cool, ideal
Mood: not good
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Good run, not bad. I have a lot of things coming at me all at once and finding it difficult to cope. Keep your head down. Keep moving forward.

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 166.5 lbs. (-1.0)
Goal: 160 lbs.

Eating in the rehearsal hall for me has become impulsive. That's not accurate -- it's impulsive everywhere. Got to finish that beer, yes, I will have that pie, handfuls of kettle popcorn and gummy worms. It's obscene.

Not eating is also a thing to do, you can choose not to do that, not to compulsively eat, and in its absence feel that you are accomplishing something.

What's That Lyric?
Come Home With Me Baby - Dead or Alive

Hear the highway breathing.

June 2019

"How beautifully leaves grow old. 

How full of light and color are their last days."

- John Burroughs

Live to Run - Run to Live

Cris Dopher died on Sunday evening. I have mentioned him here a few times. He came to see And Then You Die (How I Ran a Marathon in 26.2 Years) at the NY Fringe ten years ago this month. He commented on my blog and we began a sporadic correspondence. We met up to chat in Chelsea the following year, he gave me my first tour of the new High Line.

Cris was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis when he was five, they said he had another five to live. He was forty-seven when he passed.

In 2013 I asked him to design lights for Double Heart at the the Fringe. He used to run, but by that time he was carrying oxygen, and had to take a break every half block. That was the last time we met up, though we stayed in touch.

Since then he had a lung transplant. During that experience he met a woman who is also living with CF and they fell in love and got engaged. He was in a horrific motorcycle accident which almost killed him. He survived liver cancer, and recently had started chemotherapy for cancer in his new lungs. That was the fight at last he couldn't win.

Cancer, again. After all that, fucking cancer.

Like I said, we communicated sporadically, through social media. I kept up with his blog, and through long detailed posts on his Facebook page. He started his running blog a year before I started this one. This photo (at right) has always been a great inspiration to me.

He had cystic fibrosis, and he ran.

Cris was very generous. Cris had an attitude. Cris spoke his mind. Cris was an artist. Cris was a biker. Cris was a runner. Cris was a marathon runner.

I'm going to miss Cris.

If you wish to make a donation, his favorites were:

• Boomer Esiason Foundation (Team Boomer)
• Cystic Fibrosis Foundation
• Ellie’s Army  (he named his motorcycle after her)
• Behind the Scenes

Distance: 4 miles
Duration: 35:42
Pace: 8:55
Route: Boulevard Loop
Temperature: 66°
Climate: cool
Mood: as you would expect
Stretches: yes
Water: no (crap)

What's That Lyric?
And She Was - Talking Heads

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 167.5 lbs. (+2.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

In space no one can hear you dream (and others.)

Lying awake at 3:30, not able to get back to sleep. Knowing there are a million things I could do this morning instead of running for two hours. The enthusiasm I was feeling just two days ago (or was it mania?) has given way to malaise and a doubt.

So, I could listen to anything for two hours. Podrunner, Spotify playlists, "1619" ... instead, it's all Improvised Star Trek. Because I need some serious distraction.

I choose improv comedy. Who knew?

Distance: 16 miles
Duration: 2:36:50
Pace: 9:48
Route: To East 55th via MLK and back.
Temperature: 59°
Climate: cool & groovy
Mood: angsty
Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Snack: granola bar

Yep. Sixteen miles. Did that thing. The comedy was quite enjoyable, and it kept me from going very fast. A nice trot down MLK Jr. Blvd. and back. The One World Day festival is today! As I headed back earlybirds were setting up tents and tables. Should be quite an event.

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 165 lbs. (+0.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

Improvised Star Trek has been around for ten years, but I just heard about it. I listened to a few episodes last week and got hooked. Then they announced they are ending the show. I hate my life.


Week Eleven Total: 31.25 miles
Total To Date: 248.25 miles

Afraid to lose.

So this is where it gets a little crazy. I am slated to run sixteen miles tomorrow. Remember how hard thirteen was? Didn't I run fifteen just a couple days ago? Didn't I run eight just yesterday?

Running all the time. I do not know where I have the time or energy or anything for that. But here I go.

After my eight mile yesterday, I drank so much water, all evening. It was a compulsion. More water!

Distance: 3.25 miles
Duration: 26:32
Pace: 8:09
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 64°
Climate: bright & sunny
Mood: surprisingly good
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Tore that up. Feeling the weight of everyone around me, their pain, loss, disappointment, so much anxiety and fear. So I have a slight pain in my head, I have no right not to push myself, and I ran. I ran well. It felt good. Lightened the doubt.

But Jesus, have you ever listened to the lyrics of Good Girls Don't? My laws, that song is filthy.

"New Wave" Playlist
Rebel Yell * - Billy Idol
It's My Life - Talk Talk
Good Girls Don't * - The Knack
Drive * - The Cars
Heart of Glass - Blondie
My Sharona - The Knack

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 164.5 lbs. (+3.0)
Goal: 160 lbs.

Carrie A. lays upon the road that I must travel.

This is Nina.

Rain yesterday, a lot of rain. So, you know. Fuck that, I'm not doing it. I'm not heading out in the dark to get sopping wet, running eight miles and tearing up my feet. Once upon a time I might have done that, felt compelled to do that, because training. But I'm getting older and I just can't be bothered. I don't run in cold temperatures as much as I used to, and I hate getting cold and wet.

Speaking of putting up with shit, Nina has written another dynamite article which is (ahem) getting a lot of traction. A Lifelong Runner, Sidelined By Disability was posted on Folks yesterday, and you should read it. Nina has a rock and roll attitude, and she has chosen to express recent (and in some cases, life-long) pain and hardship and translate them into essays devoid of self-pity that resonate with honesty, anger and gratitude.

"I’ve been running since middle school. I was never the fastest, never ran the longest distance, but I placed occasionally and enjoyed it immensely. I had to quit the track team in high school because we couldn’t afford the costs of participation, including expensive new running shoes." [READ THE REST]

Distance: 8 miles
Duration: 1:08:22
Pace: 8:32
Route: Forest Hill to Cain Park to Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 69°
Climate: sunny!
Mood: good
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

What's that mondegreen?
Kýrie, eléison, down the road that I must travel.
- "Kyrie" by Mister Mister

So, I did it. I listened to a playlist made of the top 100 Billboard hits from the year 1986. While I understood why it has been deemed the most bland and tedious year in popular music history, I never really understood. The music I like is actually diverse and interesting, if heavy with synth horns and that irritating stuttering effect they used on all the remixes.

No, it's the ballads. Then as now, when either That's What Friends Are For or The Greatest Love of All begin, you don't know which song you are about to hear. Secret Lovers sounds like Friends and Lovers sounds like The Glory of Love. It was a real education, and let us never speak of it again.

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 161 lbs. (-3.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

Uhm. Okay?

How the strong get weak.

Inside voice.

Yesterday was the first day of school, so I did not run.

Not sure what to write.

My knees hurt yesterday. I ran thirteen miles Sunday and then my knees hurt yesterday.

I've lost my enthusiasm for this.

Distance: 4 miles
Duration: 36:38
Pace: 9:09
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 68°
Climate: dark
Mood: also dark
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 164.5 lbs. (+0.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

What's That Lyric?
Slave to Love - Bryan Ferry

You can run to me.

To run or not to run. It's a question. You make plans to run early, because there is a full agenda for the day, and when you rise there is very loud thunder. As you prepare to leave, pulling on your kit and making coffee, the wind begins to rise, the wind is so loud that it sounds like the rain that you know if coming. And then the rain does come, just as you are prepared to step outside.

This isn't the race. This is training. You don't have to go. It's not safe. And yet, you were psyched, prepared to run fifteen miles this morning. It's disappointing, and very disappointing.

But really. Lightning. We do not chose to run in lightning.

Week Ten Total: 33 miles
Total To Date: 217 miles

Distance: 13.75 miles
Duration: 1:57:39
Pace: 8:33
Route: Forest Hill-Cain Park-Neighborhood Loop (2X)
Temperature: 72°→68°
Climate: distant thunder and light rain to bright, blue skies
Mood: all right
Stretches: yes
Water: yes
Snack: banana

Left later than I would have, for safety reasons, and cut the run short because I had a phone date with my brother at 9am.

Started out in the thunder and rain, which cleared up shortly thereafter. A nice, coolish morning, the BPM kept me moving briskly for the first half (or what was supposed to be half) when I stopped back at home from water, the bathroom and a snack.

The second half was more difficult, plodding, my shoes were wet so that didn't help. But my mind wandered many places and figured a few things out on my way. Mostly I just wanted to be done. I am disappointed not to have run the entire fifteen but I'll get there.

First Hour
Podrunner: Sky Ground Wind Go (167 BPM)
Second Hour
Spotify Duran Duran Playlist

What's That Lyric?
Liberty - Duran Duran
(Not actually the correct lyric, sometimes I think I heard the word "run" in songs when it isn't there.)

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 164 lbs. (-4.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

Man. The indigestion yesterday. Crazy.

Coming through. How do you do?

First day of soccer practice, 2010.

We proceed. Missing Chris on our runs, is currently side-lined by a hip injury. The summer draws to a conclusion, we prepare for school, for work. The weather is very pleasant.

Dug up photo from my daughters first practice with Rec Soccer, from nine years ago. Today is the high school team's first regulation game. The girl, now a junior, is in as goalie. Should be a real barnburner.

Distance: 4 miles
Duration: 32:40
Pace: 8:09
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 73°
Climate: bright, sunny & humid
Mood: good
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Big appetite yesterday. Burger and fries for lunch, the boy and I went to the Feast of the Assumption of cavatelli, cannoli and Coke, and before bed I consumed a slice of pizza. That last was a bad idea, I was up half the night with my stomach burbling. Had to get up and drink water and chew a few Tums. At least I didn't get a salt-induced headache. 

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 168.5 lbs. (+5.0)
Goal: 160 lbs.

Listening to The Current this morning, "Teenage Kicks." And so should you.

What's That Lyric?
Celtic Soul Brothers - Dexy's Midnight Runners

Won the race but you lost your mind.

Air cools, a jaunty trot around my part of the city. Staying out of the streets, I do not trust my balance.

Distance: 7 miles
Duration: 1:00:41
Pace: 8:40
Route: Forest Hill-Cain Park-Neighborhood Loop
Temperature: 65°
Climate: lovely & clear
Mood: good
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 163.5 lbs. (+0.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

What's That Lyric?
Superman - Lazlo Bane

Your feet were so heavy.

Smooth and oily.

Good morning. Still coping with the fallout from last week's drama. Yesterday I was feeling ill all morning, but I couldn't tell whether that was related to my issues, or if I had just picked up a bug from my wife, who had spent Monday morning feeling similarly unwell.

Regardless, no run yesterday, so no "cross-training" today, as if I've done that in weeks. I'll take my three mile, then run a further distance tomorrow.

Received information from the Chicago Marathon the other day; course map and corral confirmation. Also, made my reservation for the night-before party with the Team Challenge team. This is actually going to happen! In Chicago!

Distance: 3.25 miles
Duration: 27:58
Pace: 8:36
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 66°
Climate: cool & HUMID
Mood: in the mood!
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Good Lord, that was a sweaty run. Cool weather, high bpm, top sweat. Crazy. Feel good, though. Hope I stay that way.

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 163 lbs. (-1.0)
Goal: 160 lbs.

What's That Lyric?
In the Mood * - The Glenn Miller Band

I'll never be the same.

#goals

Morning meet-up. Must think I am made of something special, running twice in twelve hours. We had family movie night, the wife chose Bonnie & Clyde. Never seen it. The whole family stayed up to watch, it was incredible.

Distance: 5 miles
Duration: 45:28
Pace: 9:04
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 67°
Climate: cool but humid
Mood: all right
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Chris has been off for three weeks, it's his hip. I hope today was not too much effort.

What's that lyric? From Spotify "Yacht Rock" playlist. You Make My Dreams by Hall & Oates. It's a bop.

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 164 lbs. (-5.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

Another side effect of the medication? Weight gain. Gained five pounds, just as soon lost five pounds. Surprised to be 164, though. I have been eating with impunity to quell the nausea. I hope everything is good from here on out.

Man in the making.

New Exercise Guidelines: The American Heart Association Has Announced That That Guy Who Runs At Like 9 P.M. Every Night Can Cool It - Clickhole 9/28/2017

That used to be me.

The day in question.

After that horrible unpleasantness on Wednesday, where I attempted to run but could not breathe, I decided to let the drugs take their course. I was able to get to work and accomplish basic tasks, but by Friday evening I was just not in the mood to do anything. I spent most of Saturday in bed.

I believe it was the Famotidine that really put me out. They were prescribed twice daily, and the side effects included: fatigue, dizziness, weakness, diarrhea, mood changes, insomnia, muscle pain, headache, joint pain, and dry mouth.

There are other possible side effects, those are the ones I experienced.

The air has cooled, and I we should be gearing up for long distances and great things and I have been sidelined and depressed. I do need to connect with a new doctor, to screen for whatever allergy it is I have developed at this stage in my life.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Duration: 28:35
Pace: 8:47
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 77°
Climate: delightful
Mood: overcome
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

Did it. Felt amazing. So grateful.

What's That Lyric?
Number One - Chaz Jankel

Listening to Erie Effusion on WRUW!

Week Nine Total: 6.5 miles
Total To Date: 184 miles

Interlude

The reality is I should be intensely grateful every day for my health, which is entirely free from disorder or disease. I am a very healthy man, my own weaknesses, when I have them, are my own, based on poor diet, lack of exercise, or some freak momentary lapse due to an accident or situation.

So, when a doctor prescribes medicine, I just take it, and don't think about it. In the past I wasn't even very good at taking it. When I had my vasectomy ten years ago I was lackadaisical about the antibiotics I was meant to take to prevent infection. Long story short, I learned my lesson there pretty fast. But see what I mean? Careless. And then I was okay.

I had a severe allergic reaction to something on Monday, and thought I was going o die. I got a steroid shot which brought down my symptoms and was prescribed a series of pills which I have been taking faithfully. But I don't know what they do.

This morning I went out for a run, and felt horrible. Worse, my chest was tight. Not painful I just couldn't breathe. I could not take a deep breath. This was new to me, and so it was unsettling. I don't imagine it's any easier for someone for whom this is a daily reality. But my ignorance left me first wondering if I was having heart problems.

So, what are my pills? What are they doing? Here is a basic run-down:

Prednisone: An anti-inflammatory which suppresses the immune system. Makes sense after my body tried to kill me.

Side effects: rapid weight gain, high blood pressure, shortness of breath, chest pain -- see? Sometimes it's good to know what the fuck you are putting into your mouth.

I took the last prescribed dose of that this morning.

Cetirizine: Commercially, it's Zyrtec, it's an antihistamine, again to bring down the symptoms of the allergic reaction.

Side effects: rapid heartbeat, also confusion, depression, weakness, tremors -- all good reasons not to run today, right?

Famotidine: For indigestion. Again, side effects include weakness, fatigue, dizziness.

Basically, I am on a brief series of meds which, in the course of suppressing my allergic reaction, make me weak. I should not be running, not until this is out of my system. The wife suggested I take a walk, which I did, but even that felt like overdoing it.

Put your feet into the groove.

Not my skin. But it looked like this.

Hi. I'm a mess. A three-mile run was in order for Monday morning, but I pushed so hard on Sunday, I was up most of the night with aches. Didn't get up to take pain reliever until five am and then crashed for almost another two hours, so that was nice.

However, I did not plan to eat something at lunch which gave me a severe allergic reaction. I mean, it wasn't severe, severe. I wasn't having trouble breathing and I wasn't itching. But my pulse suddenly went up, I developed blotchy red skin, I could feel my heart throbbing in my ears.

Co-workers took me to urgent care, which was very, very wonderful. Thank you, Stephanie, and Kelly, for taking such good care of me.

Did you know ..? The Clinic has an urgent care facility at East 4th Street? Enjoy nationally renown celebrity chefs and the check into the Cleveland Clinic! They were awesome, too, by the way. Took great care of me.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Duration: 30:18
Pace: 9:19
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 70°
Climate: bit muggy
Mood: not bad, considering
Stretches: yes
Water: yes

This morning I noticed the sun rising later. No hat, no sunglasses at six in the morning. Wasn't sure the night before if I would run today, either, but here we are.

Bit winded, weak, not too weak. Great run, very humid already, before sunrise. Did not stop. Saw a beautiful heron in the park, I love that guy.

What's That Lyric?
Street Dance - Break Machine

Baseline: 179.5 lbs.
Today: 169.5 lbs. (+4)
Goal: 160 lbs.

I have eaten a lot the past couple of days. After the race I just wanted to eat. Yesterday I didn't feel hungry as I started to recover from the reaction, but once I started I found it hard to stop. After all, it wasn't food poisoning. I kept thinking that it was, and expecting to vomit or something, and I kept reminding myself that wasn't it.

Today, I pack my lunch. No grocery store sushi for me!