Crack another cerveza.

I do not know where to begin, so I will just say I stopped running. That statement is as final as anything else. For twenty years, beginning on treadmills at a gym in early 1998 to the New York Marathon to happily exploring the streets of my city, to running with my children, I have been running several times a week.

I have been fat and I have been very thin. I have listened to contemporary music and I have been immersed in songs from the past. I have been injured, I have gotten better. I have always wanted to run, even when I didn't want to run, I wanted to run.

I haven't really felt like running lately.

Or maybe I have, I don't know. The sciatica/hip-and-ass thing has put me into a foul mood. If I run, I hurt. Easy as that. Hurt to sit at work, hurt to drive my car, hurt to sit i a theater and watch movies or theater. Not running, I do not hurt. At least, not often.

Also, I have been writing. Free-writing, every fucking morning. I mean, every fucking, goddamn morning I move a pen in my hand and write. And I clean house, I work and take care of my home and family. Taking solitary exercise time for myself no longer feels appropriate.

Oh, and I hate running at the gym. Hate is a strong work. It does not inspire me. It is not what I call running.

So, I have not made tracks in nearly two months. That's some kind of record. It's not a good one. I say all this but I am not okay with all of this. Turning fifty was not supposed to mark the end of my running days. I am supposed to run until I die. I have to run until I die.

Distance: 2.25 miles
Route: Hocking River Bike Path
Temperature: 58 degrees

It had occurred to me, in packing for the week, that I might run every day. Why not? I used to. What have I done instead? Worked on the draft of a new, commissioned work. Saw three movies. Spent long afternoons in restaurants with family, Cooked a dinner. Did a jigsaw puzzle with my wife.

Which of these, how many of these, should I have not done in order to make time to run? Any of them? How about none of them. No regrets.

Climate: damp but nice
Mood: determined?
Exercises: a little

The boy came with me, with a dirt bike, but I asked him to go on ahead. He's too big and strong to pace me -- he goes too fast. I had only planned to go two miles, but told him to wait for me too far out, I had to wave him back.

Starting out, my back hurt, that sorted itself out. I was just winded. I have gained weight. I will check in on New Year's, and resolve to slowly work back to 160. I assume that's twenty pounds. I haven't weighed myself in months.

Resolutions must be made. Big bad year ahead of us.

What's That Lyric?
The Spot - Your Smith

Then I'd still be where I started.

What to say. I have been ill, yes. My jaw hurts from some unfortunate, unsuccessful, but necessary dental work. But even before that ...

Okay, I was prescribed a steroid pack. It took away the pain from sciatica. But I was instructed not to run then. Shortly after the series of doses was completed I took a one mile walk at the gym. The pain returned.

I am not sure what will happen next. I have been very busy. But I have not even wanted to run. Running in the gym is unrewarding. Running on a treadmill I now find unpleasant. I want to go outside, and experience the air, the street, the path, the world.

Today is a lovely fall day. I slept deeply last night, for nine hours. It has been some time.

Last night we saw the biopic Bohemian Rhapsody. And so, Mr. Freddie Mercury.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 50°
Climate: bright & cool
Mood: all right
Weight: 173.5 lbs.

Stopped to walk three times. Watched a piece of red plastic wrap drift and float in the sky until it disappeared. Went slower. I little pain in my glute, it will become more painful. Slight throb in my teeth. It feels good to feel.

Exercises: yes

Queen Playlist
Radio Ga Ga
We Will Rock You
Killer Queen
Love Kills - Freddie Mercury)
Get Down, Make Love
Another One Bites the Dust
Keep Yourself Alive
Bohemian Rhapsody

No runs in October. I will run when I run and be happy when I run. And that's it.

Towpath Four Mile

#IBelieveSurvivors

Caught a Twitter thread the other day. A woman asked, "what would you do if all men had a 9:00 pm curfew." The responses were breathless and ebullient, and also sad, because it's a fantasy.

Many said they would run. Run after dark, without fear, without looking over their shoulder. Through the woods, on the streets. In a sports bra.

Distance: 4 miles
Pace: 9:14
Route: Towpath Trail
Temperature: 55°
Climate: cool
Mood: good

Allie wanted to get eight in, Chris invited me to join them, so we could do a (slower) four mile; three miles out, one mile back and then walk for two.

The temperature was perfect, we made good time. Breakfast at Original L.A. Pete's.

Exercises: not yet

Distance: 4 miles
Route: Rec Center
Mood: angry

Neglected Entry

That time I entirely neglected to blog a run. Hasn't happened in over twelve years. Just didn't think of it. Just didn't care.

Today is Tuesday, September 25. Two days ago the boy and I went to the gym. He rode his bike and I ran, then as he did the treadmill at the rec center, I ran two more miles. Then we came home, and by that time I was exhausted. Not just tired, but my muscles were weary, my hip hurt.

Distance: a little more than four miles

Running the treadmill last week, I learned I do not like the treadmill. You must run a consistent speed, and that doesn't work for me anymore. I need to be able to slow down, when I want to slow down, and speed up when I want to speed up, without thinking about it. Keeping the pace consistent makes me shorten my stride, and that does not feel good.

Likewise, I feel that running with the boy riding his boke also does not work. He has longer legs now, he goes faster. And I go slower. I have to run hard to keep up. Not very hard, but harder than I would, you know?

Anyway, I haven't been so ambivalent about running since 2011. These things, they come, they go.

Forest Hill Partner Run

Chris came by and we ran my usual through Forest Hill Park. Last night was Pandemonium, I got off all right, feeling decent this morning but also tired. Very, very tired. Stayed in bed until ten, which is nice because I don't usually get to do that.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 56°
Climate: rain
Mood: decent

The mornings include rising at five. I have to get up at five, so I can shower, but also maybe read. Writing has not been part of my routine, which concerns me. Motivation is low. Life is good, I'm not depressed, I'm just kind of floating.

It is, after all, September. It's not like I am not busy. There are many things to do. But my time doesn't feel like it's mine.

Exercises: soon

It's nice running with Chris, we get to talk about stuff we don't get to talk to anyone else about. I think this is what the humans call "having a friend."

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 172.5 lbs. (+0.5)
Goal: 165 lbs.

I travel every place.

Me and the boy, at the rec center. They got all new equipment. The boy insisted I try out the new treadmill, which features actual (simulated) courses from around the planet. I chose Everest Base Camp, Nepal.

Distance: 2.3 miles
Pace: 5.0 mph
Route: Treadmill
Mood: okay. sleepy.

Exercises: not really

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 172 lbs. (+2.0)
Goal: 165 lbs.

I eat a lot of shit.

What's That Lyric?
The Wanderer - Donna Summer

Through all your joy and pain.

Another Hocking River run, on my own this time. We'll be heading home this afternoon, far too short a stay but so worth it.

The girl has turned me onto Plant Nanny. It's all about hydration, right? I'm not into app games, not at all. But any kind of timer/reminder is a good thing. Sitting at my desk all day, or in the rehearsal room, I just don't drink water. Doesn't happen.

Distance: 3 miles
Pace: 8:34
Route: Hocking River Run
Temperature: 84
Climate: hot & sunny
Mood: good, you know?

Mood matters. The Eminem album was a bit aggressive. I was running to the rhythm but trying to ignore a lot of the words. What can I say? I much prefer George Michael.

George Michael Playlist
I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me) ft. Aretha Franklin
Bad Boys w/Wham!
I Want Your Sex
As ft. Mary J. Blige
Too Funky
Star People 97

Exercises: I did. I will.

Brunch with Dr. Condee left much to reflect upon. He had sciatica decades ago -- and it went away. So it's possible. He has had medical issues, as have I. We talk about them. We acknowledge them. We take care of them. We push through them.

It was a very pleasant run today. Bit too warm, bit too sunny, and yet just right. Time to head home, to cut my hair, and get back to work.

I got a marathoner's pace.

Why do I run? Why do I not run? How much of what a person does or does not do on any given day is based on imposition, inspiration, or compulsion? Which is to say, what others require of you, what motivates you, or what you are unconsciously compelled to do?

The first is my job. We began residency rehearsals this week, which means I wake at five, and break at five, in the service of family and collaborators. The last is eating, breathing, but also washing, doing chores, engaging socially ... though these last could become the second.

For that second one, that is where happiness can sit, and also your unhappiness. Because it is what you choose. And if you do not choose, but believe you should, that creates anxiety and regret. That is where the shoulds dwell.

I should be writing. I should be running. Also, I should not be eating so much. I don't generally run a lot in September, anyway. But I do gain weight.

Distance: 4.5 miles
Pace: 8:46
Route: Hocking River Bike Path
Temperature: 85
Climate: hot & sunny
Mood: anxious

Okay, acupuncture. So, put simply, very thin needles were inserted into my flesh and an electrical current was run through them. It was not an unpleasant experience. But you do feel it, it's like receiving a deep tissue massage.

The thing is, all the different exercises I have been doing have done little to alleviate the discomfort and/or pain of my nerve issues. We are trying different things. The goal, as I am to understand it, is for the discomfort and/or pain to cease. Not to "become manageable" but to "go away."

I find it hard to believe this will ever be the case. But that's what the man says. We'll keep going.

Exercises: soon

Eminem dropped a new album yesterday. A lot of people are hating on it, but LeBron James is a fan, so that is what I am listening to today.

Kamikaze - Eminem (2018)
The Ringer
Greatest*
Lucky You*
Normal*
Stepping Stone
Not Alike
Kamikaze
Fall
Nice Guy
Good Guy

Justin (skit): Ha ha! Shady got some dude to impersonate Bon Iver! Wait, what? That's really him? Oh, shit.

Felt good to get back out on my feet again. Hot, sweaty day. The wife and the girl all came out to the bike path, we each had our own routine. After, I met with Dr. Condee at Eclipse Company Store, the catch up, stuff ourselves with brisket and enjoy craft beer.

He's a runner, too. But the past several meet-ups have been work-related, as in he knows lots of things and I don't know anything, and I have this play to write. Four years ago it was the Globe Theatre, two years ago it was wayang kulit. So we finally got to share a lot of stories about running after fifty, about injuries, incidents and near-death experiences. He's an inspiration to me in so many ways.

All flesh, begone!

The boy's doctor suggested he get proper running shoes for exercise (of course) so today in addition to other back-to-school numbers, we picked up clearance-priced sneaks at Nordstrom Rack.

I have new New Balance Abzorbs, Asics Gel Absorb-4s. Time to hit those streets!

Distance: 3.25 miles
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 76°
Climate: sunny, bright
Mood: okay

We ran a little, walked a little, around the block. His feet hurt, he thinks from trying on other shoes, not these. His feet usually hurt when we hit the pavement, it's also humid and hot. He did so well in Maine, though. It's probably the weather. And those other shoes.

He's been very conscious of his diet, in a good way. He gave me most of his bread from lunch (sensible portion of mac & cheese, with salad) which I then ate. I didn't need to eat that.

Exercises: later

Great run by myself, around the park. Folks grilling, fishing, walking dogs. I am a hot and sweaty mess, but at least I feel good.

I still need to write about acupuncture.

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 170 lbs. (-0-)
Goal: 165 lbs.

What's That Lyric?
Poor Skeleton Steps Out - XTC

My writing ... my writing ... my writing ... my own writing ...

Okay. Okay, okay. I need to write about acupuncture. But not tonight.

We hit the gym, the boy, the wife, and I. It was good.

Distance: 4 miles
Route: Rec Center
Mood: yeah. good.

Exercises: yes

What's That Lyric?
Dissident - Thomas Dolby

I take your pain away.

The low-grade sinus headache, the kind that drags me to the ground. A lazy Sunday afternoon, but not relaxed. Thought best to nap, close my eyes, as my body was demanding, but caffeine had kicked in and the mind was on fire. Also, it ached.

The area around the bee sting (for that is what it must have been) does not sting, or ache, but it itches. Bee stings are few and far-between, my last was (embarrassingly enough, but also spectacularly painful) on my scalp, six years. The stinging came and went in waves for days. But not this itching. Odd.

The boy and I headed to the gym.

Distance: 3 miles
Route: Rec Center
Mood: all right

Stepping into the sunlight, after our rounds, I noticed my headache had almost entirely subsided. This was not the case after one mile, when I thought I couldn't continue. I tried changing it up, running a mile, doing a round of exercises, then and another mile. This worked out fine, but it felt like it took a long time.

During the third mile, my right ankle crashed out. This happened last week, sudden pain the ankle, I'll walk,stop or stretch (all three, actually) and then continue. When it hurts, it really hurts. Bu when it's gone, it's gone.

I think it means I need new shoes.

Exercises: yes

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 170 lbs. (+1.0)
Goal: 165 lbs.

Sigh.

What's That Lyric?
Tightrope - Janelle Monáe ft. Big Boi

You're doing fine.

Martha Walsh sang lead vocals on Everybody Everybody (Black Box), It's Raining Men (The Weather Girls), and Gonna Make You Sweat (C+C Music Factory). And you don't even know where you are.

Can't listen to Everybody Everybody without putting myself right back into Fridays in the Flats in summer, 1991. Good times ... I think.

(Thanks to Stephanie for introducing me to the Hit Parade podcast!)

Distance: 3.25 miles
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 75°
Climate: bright & beautiful
Mood: good

Beautiful run in the park, not too humid. Lively. Then, around mile two, I was stung. Not sure by what, I thought it was a horsefly and swatted it off, but part of it remained behind, and it continued to sting. Not a tic, I do believe it was some kind of bee or other stinging insect. I stopped and looked around for the rest of it, but that was useless, so I ran home.

It still stings. I'm icing it, the wife will search for a stinger. We'll see what happens next.

Exercises: yes

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 169 lbs. (-0-)
Goal: 165 lbs.

Okay.

What my mama told me
Let my father mold me
- Madonna, "Deeper and Deeper (1992)

Did what my father said,
and let my mother mold me
- Janet Jackson, "Control" (1986)

Huh. Missed that.

Everybody Everybody Playlist
Everybody Everybody - Black Box
Deeper and Deeper - Madonna
Control - Janet Jackson
Keep On Movin' - Soul II Soul
Move This - Technotronic

Can't stop. I might end up in the hospital.

David Byrne
(Jacobs Pavilion)

So my wife took me to see David Byrne at Jacobs Pavilion the other night, which was an inspiring birthday present. The backdrop for the space is the Cleveland skyline, depending on the light you either did or did not see both the Key Bank Building and Terminal Tower.

Very physical, impassioned, delightful. In the open air, after the rains, just a gorgeous night.

The kids do not know who this man is, and that is all right, I guess. Anyone under thirty-five I mentioned the show to did not recognize his name.

Talking Heads, sure. But I am surprised his name doesn't ring a bell. I was also surprised few in the audience seemed familiar with the new single "Everybody's Coming To My House." I guess I should not have been.

It's odd, his music, his band's music, was and is iconic because it holds you at a distance. It's ironic, intentionally satiric. Music about buildings and food. ("Love's kind of big," Byrne once said in an interview with himself.) And yet, there it is. In my heart. Expressing so much, about life, anxiety, even love. His music is and always has been about being human, right now.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 79°
Climate: overcast & humid
Mood: not bad

Very humid tonight. It was five degrees hotter the other today, but tonight I was gasping like a fish. I need to run more often. Yesterday I took the boy to get his annual physical. Lot of talk about his weight. The doctor emphasized daily exercise. Lately he's been better about that than I am.

Exercises: yes

The exercises continue. They increase. The wife sees definition in my arms. That's new.

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 169 lbs. (+0.5)
Goal: 165 lbs.

Okay.

What's That Lyric?
Crosseyed & Painless - Talking Heads

Have you seen my self esteem?

Not throwing away their shot at a silly photo.

We have a lot of cake and ice cream in this office. It is a perk for which I am grateful. By tradition, however, I am out of town on my birthday (Leos and all those with summer birthdays when they were kids will feel my pain) and for the past several years my co-workers go out for ice cream and then send me a picture of themselves celebrating me in my absence.

Once they all crammed into my office with multiple copies of my headshot.

This year was particularly inspired (see up right.)

So you can imagine my surprise when, Thursday, I was presented with an actual cake! A cake with my name on it, from the new Corbo's downstairs (big ups, Corbo's Playhouse Square!)

Now, you would think a big slice of chocolate cake would be good enough for a boy trying to cut down on his caloric intake. So explain to me why I would have an urge, following a session with my chiropractor, to get an ice cream cone? Or why I shoved two stale Oreos in my mouth when I was home briefly that evening?

I can't even describe what my dinner was like, at a tavern in the airport neighborhood, when my mother's flight was delayed. Okay, it was a buffalo chicken wrap. With fries.

Just stop, okay? Have the salad. And when you get cake, just enjoy the cake.

I got cake!

Distance: 3.25 miles
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 84°
Climate: hot but overcast
Mood: decent

Hot run! Fast run. Not taking my phone, it is a distraction. However, what if I have a heart attack? I mean, right? I should take my phone.

Today I did not take my phone.

I only stopped to walk once, briefly, which was awesome. Just stopping once, I mean. I do miss Martin Point, all the humidity is just whipped away. It wasn't so hot, it was so nice. Felt like I could run long distances easily.

Last Thursday the chiropractor actually popped my back. An "adjustment." That was new. I have been seeing him for a couple months now, all the stereotypes about chiros had left my mind, then he just cracks my back.

This is my personal Thursday Club.

That's an in joke, you know.

Exercises: yes

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 168.5 lbs. (+1.5)
Goal: 165 lbs.

What's That Lyric?
National Disgrace - Atmosphere

I smell of the earth.

Home again, and we begin with a funeral. It's been a long, difficult day. Could be worse. Could be raining. (Seriously, though, it could have rained, but it didn't.)

Came home exhausted and unhappy, knowing I should run, wanting to sleep. So? A ten-minute nap. Lying down, I could feel the pain and tension in my shoulders.

I am grateful the wife encouraged me to do the exercises last night. Hadn't for two days, that would have been three. Travel is an excuse, but we were now home.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Route: Forest Hill Run
Temperature: 73°
Climate: overcast & humid
Mood: not as bad as before

Good, brisk run, Started out sluggish. It is more humid here, and naturally less inspiring. I mean, come on. But I kept it up, my left side hurt more than usual, but nothing unhappy-making. My ankle was hurting a mile or so in, so I stopped. I walked. I kept running. No more issues there.

And I feel a touch lighter in my soul.

Exercises: yes

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 167 lbs. (+0.5)
Revised Goal: 165 lbs.

I ate with impunity. I also did an awful lot of planking, so in spite of the additional weight I can still fit into my pants. And yet, we must resume our healthy diet.

The wife said that when I was at my leanest, at the beginning of June, she thought I looked too skinny. Whatever. 160 is the final goal. It is where I want to be. Perhaps muscle will make up the visual difference.

What's That Lyric?
I Am Stretched On Your Grave - Dead Can Dance

2018 Friendship Day 5K

25th Annual Friendship Day 5K
Start: 7:45 am
Our Time: around 28 minutes

The wife stayed in this morning, to write. I agree to run both races, with him in the one mile, and her in the 5K. He made 10:30 which I think is pretty respectable. I may have made better time in the 5K and she was not thrilled that I kept one step behind her the entire way, but that is what I wanted to do and I did it.

After, pancakes!
 
This is our last day, tomorrow we return via Boston. There's a little summer left, right? I mean, it's not even August.

Everybody's coming to my house.

Last night.

Long, relaxing day of birthday revelry yesterday. Did not stray far from the house, except for a walk out to Beatrice Bay.

As we were stepping down out of the woods onto the beach, I hear a muffled crashing sound. The wife said she didn't hear it, but it sounded to me a like a tree falling. Making our way back after some time out on the rock, we discovered that something like a tree had fallen, a very large dead branch lay right across our path.

I was a bit unnerved. That may have struck one of us, or both. She was not concerned. I remain so.

Distance: 3.5 miles
Route: Martin Point
Temperature: 72•
Climate: cloudless & sunny
Mood: worried

Fast run! The fog has burned off (mostly) and it has become a bright beautiful day. About time. My glasses steamed with sea spray by the beach, I had to remove and wipe them off. But it was a brisk run, I felt strong. Even yesterday I did my exercises. I will commit. I will work to achieve. I will be strong.

Exercises: yes

We had a full deck for wine hour last night, and lots of things to eat. The wife made spaghetti and meatballs and a beautiful carrot cake. Michele and her family were present for dinner, of course, and also children of my cousins; Nathan his family -- and Anne, who we happened to run into Wednesday at Round Top. Incredible! I have not seen Anne in perhaps twenty years. Thanks to Facebook, we recognized each other.

So, there's that, Facebook. Thanks.

"We'll Figure It Out"
(Music From the Big Love 2015-2018)

Disc Two:
Dead Sea - The Lumineers
Shape of You - Ed Sheeran
Want You Back - HAIM
tonite - LCD Soundsystem
Remember Me (Ernesto de la Cruz) - Benjamin Bratt & Company
The Way - Fastball
He's a Rebel - The Crystals
The Crown Main Title - Hans Zimmer
All the Stars - Kendrick Lamar ft. SZA
Everybody's Coming to My House - David Byrne
Make Me Feel - Janelle Monáe
Heaven On Their Minds - Brandon Victor Dixon & Company
Bad Bad News - Leon Bridges
This Is America - Childish Gambino
Remember Me (Lullaby) - Gael García Bernal, Libertad Bernal & Gabriella Flores

Disc One yesterday.

Oh, and I got tickets to see David Byrne!

Look up here. I'm in Heaven.

This is 50.

The week has been damp. A damp, foggy week. Not particularly cold, but absent the sun it feels cooler than it is. Nice to sleep with the windows open, with just a sheet. To listen to the rain on the roof. The dreams this week have been deep and faraway. Animals and adventures. No idea of what, where or when.

Today is my birthday. Please enjoy the new banner, incorporating a photo by Amy Arbus. We move on.

Prepared dinner last night, it was aggravating, there is no counter top at the proper height, I have to bend over to chop. Even in the car, running some errands during the afternoon, there was pain on my left side. I did exercises after dinner, resting overnight has quelled the pain, but it lingers.

I intend to do exercises every day. I have to do them every day. I do not wish to do them every day. I want the pain to stop.

Distance: 3.5 miles
Pace: 8:37
Route: Martin Point
Temperature: 68•
Climate: misty & cool
Mood: decent

Good run, brisk. Mornings you run into people you know! Mom was headed back from a walk in the woods as I hit the first hill, I passed my cousin Nathan on my way back from the turnaround just after Camp Evergreen. There's a little pain, but it felt good to move and to move swiftly.

Foggy, moody, breezy, nice. They say there will be a party this evening. I wonder if it will be indoor or out.

Exercises: yes, god dammit

Three years after we started dating, I gifted my (then) girlfriend with a cassette of songs commemorating our time together. I was unaware at that time that I had begun a triennial ritual.

Included were not just pop songs from the era -- songs we both liked, not just me -- but also clips from films we had seen together, scores from dance concerts or songs that were used in plays we had seen (not produced, but had attended together, in the audience.) They did not need to be contemporary, they could be from the past as long as they had relevance to us.

This worked well from 1994 to 1997, and from 1997 to 2000. But what happens when your life takes some unfortunate turns? When you lose a child or your nation is lunged into chaos? It turns out there are songs for that, too.

She received a new set of discs as we set out Saturday morning, and that was intense. So much loss. But also, so much life.

"We'll Figure It Out"
(Music From the Big Love 2015-2018)

Disc One:
Hello - Adele
Lazarus - David Bowie
Stardust (Live at Oberlin) - Dave Brubeck
While My Guitar Gently Weeps - Tom Petty, Jeff Lynne, Steve Winwood, Dhani Harrison & Prince
Wait For It - Leslie Odom Jr. & Company
Come To the Fun Home - Sydney Lucas & Company
Should I Stay Or Should I Go - The Cash
Hallelujah - Kate McKinnon
Immigrats (We Get the Job Done) -  K'naan, Riz Ahmed, Residente, Snow Tha Product, K'naan, Snow Tha Product, Riz MC & Residente
How Far I'll Go - Auli'i Cravalho
Careless Whisper (Live at Mountain Winery) - Ben Fold & Rufus Wainwright
COH-CAINE - Stilly Dan

Disco Two tomorrow.

Martin Point Walk/Run

The day opened up yesterday, a very pleasing afternoon in which the boy and I were able to head out in the motorboat to do a bit of fishing. Getting the boat into the dock was a bit trying, however, as there was a knot in the mooring. I actually had to use a kayak to attending to the mooring and run the knot through, ripping up my hands a touch and taxing me in general.

I am not a weak person. In fact, I have been successful with my exercises and it gives me strength .. but trying to maintain balance in a kayak while wrestling with unhelpful objects, bobbing about in the water is very aggravating, physically and so mentally. I was not able to stay out in the boat as long as I otherwise might have.

I hate this. I hate my complaining, I hate the hurting. Falling asleep last night was challenging, as I had pain down my left side.

Distance: 2.25 miles total (1.2 running)
Route: Martin Point
Temperature: 69•
Climate: overcast & cool
Mood: good

The boy used to balk at running. He was young, of course, but his sister started early. But she has been a dedicated soccer player, used to running in spite of her asthma. He is bigger, he carries more weight. In that way, he is like my father.

But he would also complain of his feet hurting, and other issues that would make him stop after a few yards. I didn't know how much was your basic human desire not to run. I wasn't forcing him to, I never compelled him to he would try it and not like. That's why he bikes while I run.

Lately, however, he has been running. He uses the treadmill at the rec center, which is great way to begin. Twenty years ago my wife and I (before we were married, actually) gifted ourselves a gym membership, and so I trained myself to run for a long duration than I ever had previously. It was six years before I started truly running in the streets.

So when my wife proposed to him this morning that he accompany me on my run, I was surprised when he agreed. He's still at the point where he will run for a while, and then walk, but I was impressed.

And we got to talk. Which is always good.

Exercises: indeed.

With a couple of kids running in the yard.

We are in Maine. It has been a long, relaxed morning, spent reading. I bought The Witches by Stacy Schiff last year, and it has taken some time to complete. I mean, even now I'm not close. It' a thick book, with small print, but that's not the problem. It's just maddening ... I will write about it soon, I'm sure (or, uh, maybe not soon) right now I will continue to plow through. Sitting by a fire in New England is certainly motivating.

I know. Maine isn't really New England. But it did used to be part of Massachusetts, so step off.

So, anyway. Took my time getting out. Cool morning. Fog only just now burning off. The wife and boy went out to Beatrice Bay, she to commune, he to fish. And I, the other way, to run.

Distance: 3.5 miles
Pace: 8:30
Route: Martin Point Run
Temperature: 69•
Climate: overcast & cool
Mood: good

Driving here was literally a pain in the ass. Driving the first leg on Saturday was not actually difficult, it was when I became a passenger that the nerves down my left side began to ache. Taking a nap, it became increasingly painful and I asked to pull over so that I could do some exercises and return to driving.

Yesterday we were stuck in some backed up traffic, and it was then that my right side began to hurt, with all of the braking. My right side. It was truly awful. I enjoy driving with my family, and returning to these old old roads, and it makes me very unhappy to wish so dearly for the journey to be over.

The wife asked if the exercises my chiropractor advised are having any effect, and I believe they are. I just have to do them. I did a sequence at the hotel yesterday morning, but they can't really help if I am in the unusual circumstance such as we had on the highway yesterday.

Exercises: Yes. Thank you.

Today's run was truly glorious, and fast. It felt good. The hills can be wearying when it is bright and hot, but today it is pleasant, cool, and cloudy. Ideal for running.

The girl spent the evening with a school chum on Squirrel Island, and will rejoin us this evening. I wonder if she will want to run with me this week.

What's That Lyric?
Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da - The Beatles

Bodies in motion.

A trio to the gym this morning, the wife is not feeling well. Hope she's better by tonight, however, because we're all going to see Hamilton downtown. You heard me. Suck on that.

Distance: 3 miles
Route: Rec Center
Mood: good. fast!

Exercises: yes!!

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 166.5 lbs. (+0.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

I don't need to walk around in circles.

All family gym trip. Everyone working out. It's a new world.

Gym etiquette is challenging. I the jerk, because I am running in the morning when it's walking time. But there are signs everywhere saying FOR YOUR SAFETY: Walkers Must Use the Two Inside Lanes.

Senior men do not want to admit that they are walkers, however. So they use the outside lane, making their twenty minute mile, with their elbows up like they are running. I have to change lanes to pass them.

Then there are the ladies who walk two-by-two. When one pair passes another, they do not look behind them but just walk past their counterparts using both of the outside lanes. I can a) warn them I'm coming or b) slow down until they switch back to the inside lanes. You can guess which I actually do.

Distance: 3 miles
Route: Rec Center
Mood: good

Did not run nor exercise yesterday, and I felt it while sitting. Felt it when I got up today, too. But not currently, now that I have exercised.

I have to remember to make note of this later, if conditions change.

Exercises: yes

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 166 lbs. (-0-)
Goal: 160 lbs.

What's That Lyric?
Circles - Soul Coughing

Rather see you on the run.

Gym run complete with exercises. The girl's dedication is remarkable, exercising most mornings, then twelve hours at CIA before coming home to unwind playing the violin (that was a joke, the unwinding part) then going to sleep whenever it is she goes to sleep. She is one disciplined fifteen year-old.

Distance: 3miles
Route: Rec Center
Mood: positive

Exercises: yes!

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 166 lbs. (-0.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

Work. Get below 165 again.

What's That Lyric?
Push - Prince & The New Power Generation

You're making me run when I don't want to think.

Another hot afternoon run. That's three runs, three days in a row, which is nice.

Went to the chiropractor yesterday. I think there is progress, which is hard to tell. I need to do the exercises every day, and not just when I run.

I need to work on my upper ... and, yes, lower body strength.

And I need to run at least every other day. Today was much less mechanical, I felt less stiff. They change up the exercises every week, which is good, because it makes me feel like we're working toward something.

I do miss doing stretches on the deck in North Carolina. That was special, inspiring, and very, very helpful. I hope exercising on the porch at Barnstable offers as much solace and motivation. It probably should.

Distance:3.3 miles
Pace: 8:42
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 84°
Climate: hot & sunny
Mood: all right

Exercises: yes!

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 165.5 lbs. (-1.0)
Goal: 160 lbs.

Ok. Keep going.

What's That Lyric?
There's No Other Way - blur

It's poetry in motion.

Exhausted this morning, difficult getting up. All the others have a morning game plan this week, which centers around getting the girl to CIA for pre-college by nine. They made a plan to hit the gym, the three of them. There was no reason for me not to be involved, only I hadn't expressed any interest in joining them.

Why not? No idea. Can't fathom. I have been unhappy with my lack of exercise, as though there is no time for that. But there is, there's bags of it. Anyway, as I was lost in my thoughts after waking I realized there was nothing preventing me from joining them. So I did, an entire family, headed to the gym for forty-five minutes. Plenty of time for a run and exercises.

Good work.

Distance: 3 miles
Route: Rec Center
Mood: all right

Exercises: yes

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 167.5 (+0.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

wut.

What's That Lyric?
She Blinded Me With Science - Thomas Dolby

Forest Hill Bike/Run

Hey, ho. Another hot jog through the park with my son on his bike. So that's a good thing.

Distance: 4.36 miles
Pace: 9:10
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 80°
Climate: hot & sunny
Mood: anxious

Exercises: yes

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 167 lbs. (+1.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

Okay, here we go ...

Cain Park Bike/Run

Good lord, did I eat a lot of crap watching the Brazil v. Belgium match this afternoon. What am I, still on vacation?

Distance: 4.1 miles
Pace: 9:02
Route: Cain Park Loop
Temperature: 71°
Climate: sunny & warm
Mood: all right

The boy and I took a trip around the Heights. Much cooler weather, but still. And trying to keep up exhausts me. However, the bike can hold a water bottle, and this is very convenient.

Exercises: a few. not enough.

Forest Hill Bike/Run

Ow, shit. Pulled a muscle in my thigh doing stretches. It was a hot run, the boy on his bike and I trying to keep up. Sometimes on these excursions I go too fast, on a hot, sunny day like today it's all too fast.

The boy has gotten so moody, it's distressing. I try to keep positive, and to engage, but sometimes it's just too much. I remember how much he used to love these runs, and he probably still does, inside. But he doesn't let me know about it. He seems so down.

Distance: 4.3 miles
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 85•
Climate: HOT
Mood: all right

We did have a conversation though, about music. I had been thinking about music today, and wanted to hear from him. I was patient, asking a question, and waiting for a response. For this I was rewarded with an answer.

Exercises: a few

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 165.5 lbs. (+2.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

That I ate all that fried Southern cooking and other junk food for over a week and only gained two and a half pounds is amazing.

That little souvenir of a terrible year.

Full moon rising.

The beach house, this year, is located way at the the north end of Topsail Island. Previously, we had stayed at the south end. There was one house in particular the family rented for five (non-consecutive) years. It is located on the south end right next to the pier, across the street from the miniature golf.

Granted, I was only to make three of those years, but the place is impressed in my memory. It is where the children spent so much summer vacation joy. The decor there has nothing much to lend itself, I just remember the deck, the view, the proximity to things. There's a hot tub, which others used but I did not.

This place is away from everything, which I like those some do not. The wife misses the ability to walk to a bar, a restaurant a shop, the ice cream stand. I prefer the layout here. It's true, you can't get from the upper deck to the beach, you need to go back inside to do that on a lower floor.

But I like the layout of the upper floor much better. Before it was like a huge, long room, from kitchen, to dining area, and then a sitting place with TV and couches -- you need to walk through one area then the next to get out onto the deck.

Here, all the areas are next to each other, like a circle, from the kitchen counter clockwise to the dining area, and then to the sitting area It's smaller, but people can be doing anything, cooking, doing the jigsaw puzzle, watching the match and talk to each other, all in one space. You walk through the middle to get outside.

We have made journeys to the south side; for dinner Tuesday night, again yesterday when I took the girls shopping. I glanced at the rear of that other place, it's nothing to look at. The street view is not the point. We did not choose not to be there intentionally. It wasn't available when we made the reservation, very little was. This was a last minute decision.

Because when such decisions were to be made, we were mourning a loss, having a funeral. Not thinking so much about fun and summer and relaxation. All five of those summers, in that building, were spent with Chris. We are glad to be here, but I think we should be glad not to be staying there.

Distance: 3 miles
Pace: 8:46
Route: Topsail Beach
Temperature: 83•
Climate: hot & sunny
Mood: all right

Barefoot run, last of the season. Maybe I'll run tomorrow, but this morning I did it, I ripped up my toe. Basically I hit a stone on my way out, a small-one, well-placed. Didn't impede my momentum at all, just hurt, knew I'd separated skin. Anyway, no big deal.

Beautiful though, fast, running in the surf. Sprinting almost, in places. It was gorgeous. When I got back Is tripped down to my shorts and jumped in the surf. I floated on my back in the sea. I still live.

Exercises: yes

Can I also say my choice of music for running this summer has been almost maudlin. Yet, I like it. That's just where I am this year.

What's That Lyric?
Here's Where the Story Ends - The Sundays

You seem to me like a man on the verge of running.

Actual size.

Early morning, the wife and I rose to catch the sunrise. After running, exercising (I failed to do so yesterday) and showering, I made bacon and pancakes for everyone.

Well, the adults, anyway. The children, if you can still call them children, slept late.

Yesterday I received some unpleasant professional news; I won't go into it, but it was disheartening to say the least. Not earth-shattering, just disappointing. I do not understand some people.

Distance: 2 miles
Pace: 9:16
Route: Topsail Beach
Temperature: 75°
Climate: warm & sunny
Mood: not good

Easy run today, in shoes. The tide was high and I am holding on. Sad to think tomorrow may be the last run here of the season. Are we almost through with Topsail for the year? Is the summer progressing so fast?

Exercises: yes, fuck yes.

What's That Lyric?
99.9° - Suzanne Vega

The wisdom on your face denies the number of your years.

Anniversary dinner.

Difficult days. It is hard to understate my distress over the national situation, like being under occupation yet the oppression has not yet struck me directly. What are we supposed to do? Get in the streets? Which streets? And when? Things are not yet so horrible for enough people to have created the conditions for drastic action.

We spent so much time protesting cabinet positions and knitting hats, and now that families are being torn apart and the borders are closing based on religion, we're just keeping our heads down and bitching on Facebook.

Anyway. This is why I don't want to talk about it.

"I'm fifty, mark you ..."
- Long John Silver
Treasure Island (1883)

Yesterday we celebrated our nineteenth wedding anniversary at the Beach Grill, sitting at a table on our own two tables away from the rest of the gang. It's easy to remember the date of our anniversary because it's one month from my birthday ... which means I turn fifty in a month.

What the fuck have I done?

Anyway, I'll have to change the banner of this blog.

Distance: 1.5 miles
Pace: 9:26
Route: Topsail Beach Run
Temperature: 76•
Climate: partly cloudy & sun
Mood: Good, you know? In spite of everything.

Barefoot run in the surf. Kept a straight back, hitting the sand in the middle of my foot. When I lean forward, I then dig with my toes. This is how the blisters start, and the abrasions begin. Anyway, I will run with shoes tomorrow.

Nice breeze, cool surf, shore birds. My son on Instagram telling everyone I was drunk last night.

Exercises: not yet, there's time.

What's That Lyric?
Gypsy - Suzanne Vega

The rhythm is the power to move me.

Duran Duran's fifth studio album, Big Thing, was released thirty years ago this October. It is an underappreciated masterpiece.

It is true, no music holds as much significance as that which you loved when you were twenty. And my twentieth year was significant; I had my first major depression, positioning myself at odds with those who were closest to me.

That fall I felt deeply in touch with the disaffection (and volume) of "I Don't Want Your Love" and still misogynist enough to embrace "All She Wants Is" for all the wrong reasons.

That spring I took a solo road trip to Florida to visit my dying grandfather, and also an old girlfriend. Listening to the entire album, numerous times (I had a cassette player on the passenger seat -- skipping tracks in those days was not even an option) I was subsumed by the atmosphere of the second side; stirred by the lush "Do You Believe In Shame?" and stimulated and inspired, chain smoking, putting down miles of open highway, windows open, taking in the final tracks, "The Edge of America/Lake Shore Driving."

On Route 98, you can say you are actually on the edge of America.

I saw Duran Duran in concert once, at Blossom Music Center in 1993. They did not play one single song from this album.

Big Thing - Duran Duran (1988)
Big Thing
I Don't Want Your Love
All She Wants Is
Too Late Marlene
Drug (It's Just a State of Mind)
Do You Believe in Shame?
Palomino
Interlude One
Land
Flute Interlude
The Edge of America/Lake Shore Driving *


We have been sleeping until we wake these past two days, but the wife gently woke me to watch the sunrise this morning. It is our wedding anniversary. The deck was nice and cool after the rain, a beautiful start to what may be a (literally, not emotionally) stormy day.

Water, coffee, rest, run.

Distance: 5 miles
Duration: 44:48
Pace: 8:58
Route: Topsail Beach
Temperature: 75•
Climate: overcast & hot
Mood: good

Gorgeous day on the beach. Running earlier helps, it's still cloudy, no direct sun at all. Dog walkers, though. Come on. assholes. I ran past them on my way out, came to back find little gifts along the way. Who the fuck do you think you are?

Breathless and parched. Finished strong, if a little woozy. Sipped water slowly as I did my exercises, started talking to my son and got very dizzy. Strange. More water. Then food. Nick's making potatoes and eggs!

Exercises: yes! all the exercises!

While running on empty.

We eat a lot. We drink a lot. We also exercise, do stretches. Sit in the sun, and in the shade, and read and write. Games are played, more drinks are made. Groceries are shopped for, and forgotten beach items. Iced coffee is greedily consumed, with or without alcohol added. Storms roll in, and out again. We stay up late, make love, and if we're lucky, we run on the beach.

An entire vacation is had, all on a Sunday. What else will the week bring?

Distance: 2 miles
Pace: 8:40
Route: North Topsail Beach
Temperature: 78•
Climate: hot & sunny
Mood: good

With shoes this time, did not wish to tax my feet -- nor my back. With shoes I stood straighter. Felt good. Wind in my face heading south (9:04 pace) at my back heading home (8:15). Sun on my face heading back, too, but that was lovely.

Complete round of stretches after, including the plank. Eating so much crap this week, I'd love to hold some of it in, if only to make it into my shorts.

Exercises: yes!

Those don't sound like stretches, the wife observes. They sound like exercises. And indeed they do. She invited me on a walk on the beach, I hadn't even gotten out of my kit, but I wasn't wearing my shoes. Perfect! Walking down stairs, however, my thighs were trembly. That is what we are working on.

The walk was relaxing, investigating tide pools, conversing with seabirds. Time now to write, time to read. Time for nothing at all.

What's That Lyric?
Cigarettes & Chocolate Milk - Rufus Wainwright

Don't like to feel out of control.

Two days on the road, I was able to drive and be a passenger without much discomfort. There was six of us in a borrowed van (many thanks to Kelly and Josh, we would have had to take separate cars otherwise) bringing the kids and a friend each back to Topsail Beach.

They have not been in two years. I have not been in three. Last year there was, as they say, "too much going on." The yer before I went to Alaska, and could not afford to spend so much of the summer away from the office.

Barefoot running is something I have not tried in a while. I decided to take it easy this morning, so as not to tear up my feet. The girls did last night, they said they must have run two miles, if they went to the pier and back.

I have been much more diligent in the new exercises I have been recommended by my chiropractor, but they do take a lot out of my thighs. So? Muscular, sore thighs.

Distance: 1 mile
Route: Topsail Beach
Temperature: 80•
Climate: hot & sunny
Mood: all right

Good run, a little pain in my left hip. It can be a bit of an obstacle course, avoiding shells, moving to the appropriate sand consistency, hardness. There's a lot of weaving, it's a trial. One mile, that's enough. I can already feel microabrasions in my soles.

So now what do we do? Read in the sun, I think. Who knows?

What's That Lyric?
Just a Ride - Jem

I need a moment to deliberate.

Welcome home.

Long week already, and its only Tuesday. Made a girl cry at camp. I am a terrible human being, and I have no idea what this play is that I am trying to write.

I want to take a nap, but it is six in the evening. So instead I will run.

I need new shoes.

Distance: 3.31 miles
Pace: 8:39
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 76°
Climate: hot & beautiful
Mood: bad

Also, I am a fucking terrible father. I want this day to end.

Stretches: yes

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 163 lbs. (-0-)
Goal: 160 lbs.

What's That Lyric?
Uninvited - Freemasons

This gotta worth the miles you made.

Cressida & Troilus
Alex Belile, Photographer

Met Chris at the rec center for a run through the park. We took an interesting course to find a water fountain, when we did we stood and talked in the shade for a while before continuing on. It's hot! But I like hot, and so much less irritating than runs in the cold and wet.

Distance: 5.57 miles
Pace: 8:57
Route: Forest Hill Run
Temperature: 82°
Climate: hot & sunny
Mood: good, thank you.

So, it's been over a week since my last run. Not surprising, I have had both theater camp and dress rehearsals for Troilus & Cressida. The latter opened successfully Friday evening, so my nights are once again free.

Very pleased with how the show turned out, the camp, too. Summer is now well underway. I wonder how much running I will get in when we travel to North Carolina. Will my sciatica make beach running impossible? I know enough now not to rip up my feet the first morning out.

Stretches: yes

Two weeks with the chiropractor. I need to do my new regimen of stretches with greater regularity. They are harder, because each require more muscle work in my right arm.

Perhaps I will explain in greater detail in the future, but I am arching my side to the right, both standing, with my arm resting against the wall, and also on my side. Doing it right means my side and right arm are getting quite a lot of work.

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 163 lbs. (-1.0)
Goal: 160 lbs.

What's That Lyric?
Let's Make Love and Listen To Death From Above - CCS

We're safe for the moment.

Tuesday morning I banged my little toe on something upstairs ... some of the team has been using the transition to summer to clean house, which means emptying your own room into the hallway. It's fucking dangerous. Just navigating the path means twisting this way and that, it's irritating.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 70°
Climate: overcast & hot
Mood: all right

Started seeing a chiropractor on Thursday. Totally new approach to dealing with my nerve issues, new exercises, electric muscle therapy. It's all very interesting, we shall see how effective/expensive it becomes.

Stretches: yes

Hot run in the park. Good run. Bit of a pain in my side. Need to do those new stretches. Cavs lost. What's past is past. Moving on. Perhaps a parade today? Plans for a play that opens in less than a week. We're safe, for the moment.

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 164 lbs. (+1.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

Troilus & Cressida Playlist
Someone Great - LCD Soundsystem
Like Eating Glass * - Bloc Party
Get This Party Started - Shirley Bassey
You're Beautiful * - James Blunt
Let's Make Love & Listen to DFA (Calvin Harris Remix) - CSS
Lebanese Blonde - Thievery Corporation

I'm so pretty.

Cavs in 5?

"I am tired of the changes." That's what my wife said Friday morning as she headed off to work. And I am, too. I am conscious of the changes, and they make me sad. I am not looking forward to turning fifty, not because I am not looking forward to being fifty, but because I have to reflect on time passing and realize I may come up short. It's not the time spent, it's the time left.

Distance: 5 miles
Pace: 8:30
Route: Forest Hill Run
Temperature: 71•
Climate: hot & sunny
Mood: good

Chris and I met up at the rec center and took our time around the park. Much stronger run, more enjoyable. Love the heat. Got to catch up a bit, which was good.

Getting out during the week is difficult, due to rehearsals. We made a plan to get together again next weekend.

Stretches: yes

I have been eating everything. You know how I was trying to cut out sugar? I have, compared to what I used to consume. And yet, I come across dessert every day. Or make room. Yesterday I had an ice cream cone, because I had to drive to Akron and back. See? Reward. I was not happy I ate it.

Later I had a cookie. I mean, come on. I don't need any cookies.

Wait. I had two cookies. God dammit.

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 162.5 lbs. (-0.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

Ok.

What's That Lyric?
This Is America - Childish Gambino

There's no hurry for you or for me.

The first of Hector
(Troilus & Cressida opens June 15)

Today my son completes seventh grade. Anyone who enjoyed seventh grade is an asshole.

Distance: 3.25 miles
Pace: 8:28
Route: Forest Hill Run
Temperature: 74°
Climate: over cast & hot
Mood: all right

Hot days, long nights. Exhaustion is something I need to cope with. That and mental torpor. For three hours every night I am animated and alert, and that's about it. Thank heavens for that, anyway.

Stretches: yes

"No Way Out" by Starship is an MOR standard of the mid-1980s, and as such deals with mature male subjects with a serious tone which to modern ear sounds like synthesized earnestness warbled by a woman. That was an era marked by the transition from maudlin Boomer creamy-pudding rock of the 1970s to the as-yet-unnamed "Generation X," devil-may-care dance music.

That song, which describes the feeling you get after cheating on your partner but realizing you are too chicken-shit to actually be honest after or leave, was released just as I was learning what those feelings were myself. Like everything else the Baby Boomers have ever done or said, it was permission for irresponsible and selfish behavior.

Thanks for the lesson, guys!

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 163 lbs. (-0.5)
Goal: 160 lbs.

First time doing stretches in well over a week, and I can tell. Hope doing them today helps quell the pain. Meantime, I still need to manage my intake. Packing lunch is a necessity.

What's That Lyric?
It's Gonna Get Better * - Genesis

Hocking River Partner Run

This is a weekend I have wanted or needed for some time. Relaxation, no responsibilities. Beautiful, warm weather. Time with family.

Then there are the moments I walk into the garage to grab a beer and suddenly and without warning, I begin to cry.

Distance: 3 miles, mostly running
Route: Hocking River Bike Path
Temperature: 86•
Climate: hot!
Mood: concerned

The girl and I ran the bike path, she has issues with breathing. A touch of asthma, which doesn't prevent her from playing soccer and futsal or running, but it does make it challenging. Recently a physical therapist suggested it was actually a breathing spasm which can bring her up short, and taught her breathing exercises to carry her through. But it's still not easy. It's her unstoppable determination that keeps her going.

So we ran, walked a little. She said her legs were numb, her face. It was also very hot, that might also have had an effect.

I need you to hurry up now.

First run since the big run. I have been pretty much eating everything I want for the past week, that has to stop. Anyway, it's been a long time since I have had a good weather run by the river.

Distance: 3 miles
Route: Hocking River Bike Path
Temperature: 76•
Climate: warm!
Mood: good

Dusk run, like summer. Rehearsals keep me up late, the rest of the family gets me up early. Afternoons, I nap. Perhaps, once classes are through for everyone there may be more time for a run in the mornings.

Troilus & Cressida Playlist
Boyz - M.I.A.
Technologic - Daft Punk
Tell Her Tonight - Franz Ferdinand
Yesterday Never Tomorrows * - The Stills
Breakeven - The Script
Black * - The Shroud
Stronger - Kanye West

Playlist for outdoor Shakespeare.

2018 Rite Aid Cleveland Half Marathon

This guy has kept me running, and I am grateful.

I have done unwise things before big races before. Six years ago, I took the kids to Bearden's for dinner the night before running the Cleveland Marathon. Cheeseburgers and onion rings, not exactly pasta. But life is sweet and anyway, I nailed the run.

Yesterday, I escorted the middle school orchestra to Cedar Point for the annual Music In The Parks competition. My son plays bass. The good news is that all groups -- the orchestra, chamber orchestra and band -- had superiors ratings and took first place in their division. They all received a trophy for overall excellence!

The band news is that after a full day in the park I was in bed shortly before midnight. Four hours of sleep. And though there was no snow, it was a cool, slightly damp day. Perfect temperature, but my feet were wet. My feet were wet yesterday. I want dry feet every day from now until I die.

Official Time: 2:01:37.01
Avg. Pace: 9:17

Place Men 45-49: 81

Personal Best Half: 01:41:21 (Cleveland 2016)

Somewhere during the race I told Chris that I had already forgotten everything that had happened that morning, and would tomorrow have forgotten everything yet to come. It was a strange thing to realize, but it is mostly true. Unlike previous races in which I work very hard to recall details to set down for memory, I was just running my way through this one -- making jokes, for sure -- but just kind of dazed.

Four hours of sleep will do that to a person. So will pain.

The fact is, I ended this race feeling depressed. I had pain shooting down not one but both buttocks. I could feel it in my spine. I imagined that if I had attempted the full 26.2 I would develop serious back pain. Also, my right knee started to get sore. I felt like a mess.

We tried to keep up with the two hour group, we weren't looking to achieve greatness, but it was impossible. A 9:17 pace is actually a good average for what Chris and I had been making through our training.

I have to admit, I didn't train very well, in general. But then, what I was really trying to do was be able to run long distances and still have a daily life devoid of limping. In that I have been successful.

I keep telling myself I am just exhausted. Allie gave me a suggestion for a chiropractor and I must seek that out. I need to do something.

This happened ten years ago, as I was about to turn forty. My knee blew up and I wondered if I would ever run again. I had an operation, and I have been running fine ever since. Then I fucked up my back a little over three years ago, and the condition is getting worse.

I love running. Running has made getting older bearable. It is a source of pride and achievement, and it makes me feel so good. I am afraid of ever giving it up.

I'm not a fugitive on the run.

For some people, tapering before a big race means not running for five days. (smh)

It's been a week. Late nights in rehearsal, early mornings for all kinds of reasons. Not much time in or around the home, hard to get a run in.

Also, what to listen to? Anyway, not your problem.

Distance: 3.5 miles
Pace: 8:50
Route: Forest Hill Loop
Temperature: 61°
Climate: perfect
Mood: good

Old school hip-hop. That's what you listen to.

Stretches: yes

My knee hurt a little, that was odd. Otherwise, just a lovely spring day. Maybe I'll run tomorrow, maybe not. Sunday's forecast is a high of 62° and partly cloudy, which is ideal, and it's much better than snow.

Got to pick up my race packet today. Wish me luck.

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 163.5 lbs. (+1.0)
Goal: 160 lbs.

What's That Lyric?
Black Steel In The Hour of Chaos - Public Enemy

Feeling like a boss.

Good old Judas.

Ladies and gentlemen ... 54 Playlists for 54 Years (1965-2018)

2018 Playlist
This Is America - Childish Gambino
5 Out of 6 - Dessa
Everybody's Coming To My House - David Byrne
Heaven On Their Minds - Brandon Victor Dixon & Company
Severed - The Decemberists
Everybody Wants To Be Famous - Superorganism
Pray For Me - Kendrick Lamar ft. The Weeknd
Girlfriend - Anderson East
Make Me Feel - Janelle Monae
9 to 5 - Merrill Garbus

In the past, I have sometimes been quite manic about how soon I could complete my annual playlist runs. It's usually some time in April. In the year 2012 I was training for a marathon and finished in early March.

They get longer every year, of course. That year I was trying to complete only 45 playlists. Also, this year I was running long distances with Chris on Sundays, without listening to music. And that was just fine, thank you. That's been very good, in fact.

The most significant thing about this year's playlist is that every single song on it was released since January 1, 2018. And they're really good songs, too. And not a short list, either.

Distance: 4 miles
Route: Cain Park Loop
Temperature: 63°
Climate: overcast & cool - perfect
Mood: angsty

Thing is, the year runs are like, part of an agenda. Now I don't know what the hell to listen to.

Stretches: yes

Wanted to get out on Friday morning, but it was in the mid-40s. Really, no more cold runs. Today was just great, a light, brisk run before the hot weather sets in for a while.

God, that was a fine playlist. So that part of the year is going well. Yay, popular music.

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 162.5 lbs (-0-)
Goal: 160 lbs.

Half Marathon Training Week Eleven

No long run last week. I had thought today would be another less-than-ideal day. Rain was scheduled, mid-fifties.

Well, mid-fifties it was, but also beautiful, sunny skies. We went into the south side of the city, and picked up the Towpath, which we ran into Valley View.

Time was short, I have a full schedule today. But we put in some good miles, and had a great run.

The race is next week. Wish us luck!

Distance: 9.5
Duration: 1:30:00
Pace: 9:28
Route: Towpath Trail
Temperature: 56°
Climate: breezy and nice
Mood: good

Stretches: yes

Baseline: 178 lbs.
Today: 162.5 lbs. (-0-)
Goal: 160 lbs.